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#1
07-23-2009, 01:13 PM
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I'm home
First of all, I'll apologize to anyone seeing this in more than one place. I want to update everyone on how I'm doing and this is the easiest way to do it! Second of all, because of the nature of public forums, you understand that I may be guarded and I understand that anyone can read this. Anything I share with you....I don't care who knows it.
My husband of 3 1/2 years abandoned us last week. I think that it was simultaneously the worst decision he has ever made, and the biggest relief I've felt in a long time. I think the decision to leave your children is a cowardly one, but I understand why he did it. Our marriage has been unhappy since David returned from the Army in February. He didn't adjust well to living in KY, to living as a civilian, and to facing his responsibilities. He didn't want to keep a job, and he missed his family in Ohio. None of these are excuses, they are just the facts. Last week, as our savings were beginning to dwindle in an alarming way, I put more pressure on David to get a job (I was previously not pressuring him because he's a grown up and needs to handle his own self). Anyway, I also began looking for work. Mid-week, David was offered a job and accepted it. Then he refused to go. I knew at that point that we were in for it. That it was the end. If a man won't support his family when he knows they are in financial distress, then it's not a man I need to be with. Two days later, he packed up his things, took his check card, took our only vehicle, and walked away without saying good-bye. He proceeded to move in with his mother and overdraw our checking account. So that's the rest of the story. That's how we got where we ended up. That's how my marriage ended. I sat around stunned and in shock most of the afternoon on Friday, alternating vomiting and crying, and then asked Tabatha to take me to the hospital. I was having anxiety attacks and couldn't breathe. I realized that I wouldn't be able to care for Parker and Naomi until I could get that under control. I was previously on no medication whatsoever so I didn't even have a medical helping hand to get me through this. I was admitted and stayed for five days while the counselors and staff helped me cope with what has happened and where I can go from here. I'm looking for a job and in the meantime, will depend on my income as a designer to provide for me and the kids. I have a meeting with a lawyer in the morning to discuss my options. I have spoken with David a few times. Once by phone and once by IM conversation this morning. We are agreeing on all points are going to try and make the dissolution quick and as pain free as possible. I feel sad that my marriage is over. I feel heartbroken that my children do not have a nuclear family. I feel anxious about the future. I feel angry that anyone could do this. I feel angry I let it happen to me. I feel fragile. I feel confident that I can do it alone. I feel proud that I'm that kind of girl. I feel grateful for my family and friends. I feel emotionally exhausted. I feel so much relief that his happiness (or the lack thereof) is no longer my problem. I feel like my load has been lightened. I feel like this is the right thing for my family. I feel hopeful and I dare say that there are moments when I feel happy. Thank you ALL for your prayers and positive thoughts. Being able to read them when I came home last night made my transition home a little easier and made me a little less anxious.
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#5
07-23-2009, 01:25 PM
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i'm truly sorry you're having to go through this, but feel SO happy that i see a sparkle of positivity in your note.... sending you lots of love, hugs, encouragement and fierce positivity your way girl!
oxoxoxooxox
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#7
07-23-2009, 01:34 PM
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I love that you're able to have a positive attitude about this, Lena - it will be such a help for you and the kids. I'm sorry you're having to go through this!! ((HUGS))
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#8
07-23-2009, 01:40 PM
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((((((((((((Lena))))))))))))
Huge huge hugs Lena!!! You have such an amazing and positive attitude about this whole thing. You WILL make it through, and we'll be here to listen when you need us.
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~Colleen~
Re-attempting a creative life after far too long!
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#9
07-23-2009, 01:43 PM
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(((((HUGS & PRAYERS)))))
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#11
07-23-2009, 01:58 PM
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(((hugs))) Lena!!
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#12
07-23-2009, 02:00 PM
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{{{hugs}}} Lena. So sorry you're having to go through this. But you are a very strong woman and seem to have a great attitude/outlook on it all.
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#14
07-23-2009, 02:00 PM
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HUGE hugs to you Lena and tons of prayers. It's so great that you have a note of positivity in all of this! My heart just aches for you
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#15
07-23-2009, 02:05 PM
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Lena, I'm just heartbroken for you and for your family, but I know that you're a strong woman. I'm so proud of your attitude and your focus on your role as mother.
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Chelsey -------  
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#17
07-23-2009, 02:16 PM
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You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers! Your kids are so lucky to have you for a mom! Lots and lots of HUGS.
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Deanna Mom to 2 boys | Lover of Life | Believer in Connection
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you!!!!
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#19
07-23-2009, 02:23 PM
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((huggles))
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Annie
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#21
07-23-2009, 02:31 PM
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Wow. Huge squishy hugs coming your way sweetie!! I think you're amazing and so very strong!! It's incredible that you are positive in all of this!! Take care of you and those sweet babies of yours!! I'll still be praying for you guys!!
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#22
07-23-2009, 02:53 PM
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(((hugs))) and prayers are still happening! Glad to see you are keeping such a positive attitude with everything.
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Kristin
social media girl for ljs designs.
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#24
07-23-2009, 02:56 PM
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(((hugs hugs hugs)))
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Returning from a long scrapping hiatus! |
#28
07-23-2009, 03:14 PM
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BIGGEST (HUGS) ever!!! I don't have any soothing words or wise advice... but you are in my thoughts.
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-It's pronounced Meeeegan... get it RIGHT! 
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#30
07-23-2009, 04:31 PM
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Should have read this thread first. Sending tons of love your way Lena! ♥
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#36
07-23-2009, 06:50 PM
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You're leaving me semi-speechless and teary-eyed over here! Seriously, girl, how amazing you are!!! Your children are blessed to have a mom like you! You keep taking care of yourself, and know that there are alot of us here who've got your back...you are LOVED, sweetie!
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#37
07-23-2009, 07:10 PM
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Quote:
{{{Lena}}} you have come a long way in a very short time!!! Come to us whenever you need a hug or word of encouragement...you've had a lot to deal with...God Bless You!
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Thanks!
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#38
07-23-2009, 08:07 PM
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I will continue to keep you and your kiddos in my prayers. You sound so strong and seem to be keeping your chin up as best you can. (((Hugs))) You've got a lot of people rooting for you here!
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   Signature created using Riviera Daydreams by Misty Cato
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#39
07-23-2009, 08:20 PM
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Big HUGE Hugs to you and your precious children....
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 Beautiful siggy by Jacinda using KCB's Wide Open Spaces
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#40
07-23-2009, 08:22 PM
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I'm so uplifted by you today, through this post and facebook.
I'm angry for what he did to you, angry because he left those babies, but I am so glad that you are having positive thoughts and feelings. We love ya girl...keep us all posted.
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#41
07-23-2009, 08:22 PM
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Oh Lena Sweetie! I am so very sorry that you had to go through all of this! I will pray that you can get some good income coming in to provide for them. Big hugs girl! We are always here if you need us!!!!
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#42
07-23-2009, 11:48 PM
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(((Hugs))) Lena. I know this must be so hard, but with your great attitude and your wonderful family, you'll get through it and come out even stronger. You are in my prayers.
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#43
07-24-2009, 01:06 AM
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Huge Hugs to you!! And don't worry about the fact that your kids will not be growing up in a nuclear family. My parents split when I was four and I think that it has actually made me a stronger person - maybe partly because I had a strong mom as a role model growing up. You are wonderful and you will come out of this a stronger person!
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Melissa
  
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#44
07-24-2009, 01:40 AM
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Quote:
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#45
07-24-2009, 08:27 AM
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Aw Lena!
I just don't have the words. You are such a strong lady and I know you can do this! I just cannot believe him! Seriously, what is wrong with men these days?!!! And yes I totally understand the "relief" too since you were probably walking on eggshells trying to make a happy home with such an unhappy person! But to take the money and leave kids and you to fend for yourself! Ugh seriously, if my boys ever did anything like that...I'd kick them out! Men need to be men and not boys! Ok tirade over! I'm just so p-od for you! Need anything, let me know?!!!
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#46
07-24-2009, 09:08 AM
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Glad to see the update on you Lena. You & the kids will continue to be in my prayers
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#47
07-24-2009, 09:31 AM
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Big hugs and lots of prayers coming your way. Your strength is amazing. Your kids are so lucky to have you as a role model!
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Karen My Blog: Life as MommyMo Proud to create for: The Daily Digi, 9th and Bloom, Jenn Barrette, Leora Sanford, Fizzy Pop Designs, Tracie Stroud, PixelQueens, Wendyzine and Kelley Mickus
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#48
07-24-2009, 10:06 AM
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((((((HUGS)))))) girl!
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♥ Love and Peace ♥
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Emmy
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