public or private

[Priscilla]

We have finally (sadly) decided home school will wait. For now.

Do you send your kids to public or do you swing for private?

We have to make a decision FAST.

We are leaning to private because we have a spot and it'll be impossible to ever get one again. We totally lucked out.

It's just a little far so that will be a pain for pick up (dh will do drop off). We've heard amazing things. We've also heard a couple of bad things.

The bad things that can happen in public are just scary ... but a fact of life.
ugh.


I just need to talk I guess.

[BrattyMeg]

well..I think bad things happen in private school too..i went to one for years and you'd be surprised what goes on there too.

My oldest 2 have home schooled (til 4th grade and 6th grades respectively) and now are in a "public" school but it's a very small school b/c we are in a city school district that's not part of the big county district (thankfully b/c I live in the biggest school district/county in my state..and top 10 in the country) so when we moved here it was important that the schools were what we were looking for. It's almost a charter school My oldest is taking interior design next year in high school and it's offered all four years. (that's what she's always wanted to do!) the opportunities there are amazing.

I'd just tour the public school in your area as well as the private one and see which you think will meet your needs and be the best choice for EVERYBODY

My soon to be first grader has gone to private and now the same school district my older ones go to. I really wish we could have kept her in private b/c it's attached to our church but we can't swing tuition now that I don't work. Ry was going to pre-k there this year though but we got her into a smaller school closer to home so I hope she likes it.

[sarahbhb]

I really think you have to weigh the pros and cons with your particular public/private school. I honestly believe there are public schools out there that are better than many private schools and vice versa. Without knowing the specifics of each school I think it would be hard to make that decision.

[Priscilla]

Thanks Meg.

Sarah ... we are weighing all of our pros/cons


i just want to hear others reasonings for their personal decisions since we are really stuck on what to do, if htat makes sense

[nikkiARNGwife]

Avery is starting kindergarten and he is going to a private Christian school. It's something we thought and prayed about for almost a year. It's pricey but the pros for us just outweighed the cons. We live in a county with a great school system..it's just HUGE (12 kindy classes of about 25+ kids each) and I grew up in a very small rural public school, so I really wanted him to be in that kind of environment. The private school is literally 3 minutes from our house, there is about 15 students per GRADE. It's a really good school with a great reputation. So for us it's the right decision for now...we may eventually put him in the public schools, but with it being his first year (he's never done preschool or anything) it's just what we felt like we all needed.

[Shawna Clingerman]

I am a really big fan of giving my kids a "normal" childhood experience (i am over compensating for my own childhood... i know this...) but hands down i pick public...

i think it is really an important part of growing up is for kids to spend time learning how to be with/around kids that aren't cookie cutter reps of them. I also think it is def. not a true stereotype that private schools aren't going to have any bad examples for your kiddos.

bottom line for me is that weather it be now as little kids, or in a few years as adolescents, or in twenty years as an employee ... eventually all of us have to learn how to interact with the "mainstream" people. I know some believe that it is best to shelter your kids until you think they are strong enough to handle the peer pressure, but i tend to think that it is wiser to give your child the chance to learn as they grow.

Now if you live somewhere scary and kids are bringing weapons to the elementary school that is different, but for me personally in most situations i would choose public.

[nun69]

I don't know much about private schools since my oldest 2 have always gone to public schools....but we have been fortunate enough to live in towns where the class sizes are small and the kids really do well....I pay $1000 a month in daycare and if it was possible for me to send my 2 little ones to private school for that same prcie then I may consider it depending on the school's reputation...I attended public school and I know there are wonderful public schools out there, but I also know there are bad schools both public and private out there as well...I would say what does your "gut" or "motherly instinct" tell you? And that is what I would go with

[NeverendingJen]

Mine go to public schools, as the schools here are very highly rated and as a military family, private schools in this area are so far out of our price range that we couldn't swing tuition for even one child.

[Kara]

We are fortunate to have very, very good public schools in our area. Although I hope to homeschool one day, DS will be going to public K in the fall. There's no way we could swing private school for all three kids, so that's not an option for us.

I carefully researched all of our public schools in our district and chose the one that felt like the best fit for DS. We applied for open enrollment and got in, and I feel comfortable with our choice. We know the principal (he's one of DS' Sunday School teachers and one of our college classmates) and we know many, many families who have had positive experiences at this school. I'm sure our neighborhood school is good, too, but I just didn't have the same comfort level with it.

We'll see how the year goes and then decide about homeschooling starting in 1st grade - or possibly even 2nd.

[schock77]

Where is your spot Priscilla? I don't like PISD as much as RRISD or LISD, but it's not a bad district... hot really helpful I know! But Will is a good kid and will be fine in either place.

[maryinaz]

I went to private (Catholic) school for 12 years and yeah, bad stuff happens in private schools too. My boys all go to public schools. When my oldest was in 3rd grade, we had the opportunity to send him to a brand new Catholic school, but they offered no advanced classes - which he needed, so we turned that down. We are lucky that our 3 schools (elementary, middle, high) are all very high academically and athletically so it works for us.

Oh and WORD to Shawna.

[4noisyboys]

I don't have the time at the moment to read all the responses, but just wanted to chime in that bad things happen at private school too. All of my boys were homeschooled, and they all attended private school too, and one attended public school. I worked at one of the private schools they attended.

Hindsight is 20/20...I wish I could go back and put the older two in public school instead of private. It would've been better for them in the long run.

There were some good things too though....but it doesn't outweigh the bad!

Private (or Christian) does NOT equal better. (IMHO)

[sari55]

We are so LUCKY here in Wasilla, AK to have an amazing CHARTER SCHOOL that our kids go to. It's a SPANISH IMMERSION school. Grades k-8. Small classes and such. 220 kids total. My kids are learning spanish and DH speaks it fluently so he does the spanish homework with them and I do the english. It's been amazing. But the public schools here are great as well.

Our charter school is somewhat private but there is no charge. There is a lottery to get in etc... but our kids have been in since the beginning so my other kids got "grandfathered" in so to speak. It's a wonderful school and the teachers are just amazing!

Downside for our charter school is no lunch service, I pack daily, and our course no bus. Have to drive them back and forth. But the payoff is worth it.

Perhaps if you can't find a good private school that is affordable look into the charter schools! They are smaller and more parent involvement. In fact - to get into a charter school you have to pledge so many hours a month etc... Our school is very parent oriented.

[lauren grier]

I heavily considered all the options for schooling for ce. We are moving to the district we need to be 2 weeks before school starts- literally- lol it wasn't something i thought was going to happen for us.. so we (erm i) had to think super hard..... Our public school system in the city we're moving from- is horrible. HORRIBLE. scary horrible. one of the worst 2 or 3 in the entire state. I considered alternative schools, and the private catholic schools , etc etc........ at the end of the day though- I had decided to go ahead and send him to the public school system(if we hadn't been able to find a place to live in the city we're moving to).
Why? ... because going private for this young age imo would not make a difference, and it's important for ce to be exposed to all sorts of people and situations etc. Eventually- at like HS level- I would have changed and sent him to private school, as my parents did for me.... Anything lacking in the school system at elementary level, I can supplement @ home-- and esp since you were considering Homeschooling.. you are more than likely willing to do this anyway.

eta: and i wholeheartedly agree with the "bad things happen at private schools bit" too....... sometimes worse bad things.. because those kids tend to have more money in their little worlds..

[Stacey42]

I had 12 years of Catholic school & DH had public school. The differences in our experiences seemed to come down to just who was causing the trouble. Some of the teachers in my schools were terrible bullies & allowed to get away with it because of the 'stricter discipline' policy. DH had more trouble with student bullies and we both saw our fair share of drugs, alchol, mean kids etc.

My kids go to public school now but they started out at private schools. Private got too expensive & there was no bus service & because of the very small class size much more was expected of parents which we just were not able to always do. Then there was the religion problem, all private schools around here are church affiliated and we're not. The kids were learning as truth things I don't necessarily agree with or that I feel have more than one interpretation & I figured it was only going to get harder as the get older to have to constantly oversee it. Plus none of the private schools here go beyond 8th grade, many only go to 4th, so they'd end up in public school anyway & it just seemed fairer to them to start sooner.

It's a poor rural county with only one each primary, elementary, middle & high school and about a half a dozen classes of 15-19 of each grade. It's not the best & latest word in education but it's decent & we suppliment for their interests during the year & over the summer.

[DawnMarch]

We have good public schools in our area. Our elementary school is a reasonable size and our kids are thriving there; the middle school is much larger, but breaks the kids up into "houses" so that the kids tend to have classes with the same groups of kids which makes it feel smaller and more personal. And the high school offers a really wide variety of classes that are not available in the local private schools, including an honors IB program. All in all, I feel like it is a great situation for my kids although obviously I will monitor how things go as they progress to make sure that they stay on track (especially in the bigger schools).

We considered private school but I am not much of a believer that most private schools are significantly better than a good public school (all this hinges on evaluating and being comfortable with your local public school of course). My little sister and brother went to private school (I went to public) and I didn't feel they had any better opportunities or experiences than I did. Plus, I am a very strong believer in the value of a college education and would rather save my $ for that than to spend it on grade school tuition now when I have a perfectly good public school available for free (or that I am paying for through taxes anyway!).

[*Kelly*]

I think it's ultimately your decision as to where you feel most comfortable sending your child. I am a public school teacher and have friends who teach private.. they deal with the same sorta 'junk' as I do. They have both said private school isn't what they thought it was going to be. Not sure in all states, but in ours, private school teachers do not need to be certified by the state (if that matters to you). In my 11 years experience, every private school child that has entered my classroom has been at least 1 year behind their peers. Could be a fluke, but just FYI from my experience. As for some of the social issues kiddos face (even at 6 and 7-the age I teach) I'm not sure you can protect them from it in public or private school--it's amazing what kids learn just from playing in the streets with their friends, at parks, etc. It's a hard decision and I wish you luck!!

Everyone has given great advice..

Shawna, I appreciate and agree completely with what you said!!!

[taracotta7]

A question I would ask the private school is if they take kids that were kicked out of public schools. Some do and some don't(some of this depends on state law). Speaking from personal experience from when my oldest son went to private.....he was exposed to A LOT and got in with a rough crowd. It was a very hard couple of years that he was there. I just didn't even think about it when we enrolled him and now I wish we could of avoided those contacts. It was a choice that really changed the course of his life.

My youngest one is in public school for now. We just re-evaluate each year and see what works best for him. So far it has been great for him. My step-daughters were in public school.......it was good for one and bad for the other one.

This is just one of those situations where you just need to get as much information as possible and make the best educated decision you can. If you choose to go ahead and take your spot in the private school, nothing says you can't change your mind in a month or two or even at semester. You know your kids and you know what works for them. Just take it one day at a time.

[AmyM]

You don't have to go to public school to be exposed to different types of people from all ranges of social, economic, etc....backgrounds. You can do private or homeschool, put your kid in different sports, church groups, hobbies, etc... I can't think of a better example of a cookie cutter environment than my own personal local public school. The kids are not taught to think, they are instructed on how to regurgitate the correct answer to EOG's while they sit in the same class, same desk, wearing the same uniforms with the same kids in the same environment every day. The education here is a joke and in 2nd grade they had my kid helping the other students learn to read. I find that sad and very frustrating. So since we can't afford private right now we're homeschooling.
Education, environment were what guided my choices. There are bad public and bad private. It all depends on where you live and what you want for your child.

[scrappurple]

We are doing a public charter school and LOVE it!!

[nanienamou]

Originally Posted by lauren grier

Eventually- at like HS level- I would have changed and sent him to private school, as my parents did for me.... Anything lacking in the school system at elementary level, I can supplement @ home-- and esp since you were considering Homeschooling.. you are more than likely willing to do this anyway.

I totally agree with this. I went to public elementary school and private high school and I think it was ideal. Bad things did happen at the private school I attended. It was girls only and ran by nuns, but even so, there was a lot of drugs. But the big difference was that we would learn a lot more than at some public schools. The program was much more in dept when I compared to my hubby's one (we were high school sweethearts), who attended public school.

[lovely1m]

It depends on the school system where you live. In ND, I would NEVER pay for private school, our public school system is tons better. Silly to pay for an education that is lesser in every aspect except religious studies. I would take a look at both schools in your area before deciding.

[rach3975]

We live in an area that has good public schools, so I'm planning to send all 3 of my kids to the public school a few blocks away. As Shawna said so eloquently, I believe in the mission of public schools and the chance it gives kids to learn to get along with people who may be very different from them.

I went to a good public school system for K-10 and a private HS for 11th and 12th grades. It was an elite, expensive private school, so the academics were top notch. But I wouldn't have been able to keep up if my public school hadn't taught me just as well, and there were definite drawbacks to being in a homogoneous environment. I'm a much more open-minded person for having had that public school experience.

My answer might be different if I felt my children's safety or education would be compromised by going to a public school; I have no idea what your schools are like. In my situation, I'd only consider private school if there was a specific reason. For example, my 4 year old has some special needs. We'll start him off in public school when he goes to K and I hope we'll be keeping him there, but I would consider moving him to a private school if I felt a different environment would meet his needs better.

[d2vasquez]

I truly believe that the decision is based on how the schools are in your area and also on your child and what their needs may be. I went to private (Catholic) schools for 12 years (from 1st to 12th) and loved it. My brother on the other hand did not do as well and my mom probably should have explored other options for him. He would agree with that thought too saying private school was not for him.

Now both my girls are in private schools and while it is a struggle for us to do this - I know it is the right decision for them. Both schools are very strong academically and my girls are happy and challenged throughout the school year. While I can understand where some may think they could be sheltered - my girls are active in many things outside of school and have had many opportunities to see what life has out there - even sides I wish they didn't have to see.

Good luck with your decision!

[AmberK]

I live in the Austin area and if we were in AISD school district then I would consider private if we could afford it. But we are in LeanderISD and they are a good school district so we are sending Drew to public school. What private school are you considering?

[Paula]

I've done all three. When my son was in 6th grade, his teacher and I batted heads over his education. So, I withdrew him and briefly home-schooled him and after that year, he went to a private school. I wasn't impressed with the quality of education that he was getting, so we withdrew him after the first semester. He then went to another public middle school and he has been doing well ever since. He's now a senior in high school.

I think the decision is only up to you and your husband. You have to look at the schools and look at your child and make the decision that will be best for him.

But, I would agree with Meg. Just because it's a private school doesn't mean bad things can't happen. My son was at a private school when he had to stay after. When the teacher called to tell me this, I told the teacher that I was on my way, but he didn't tell my son. The teacher went home for the day leaving my son at the school to wait for me however, my son didn't know I was on the way, so he started walking home which meant that he had to walk ten miles along the HIGHWAY to get to our home. Luckily, the police stopped and picked him up and brought him home. It was this situation that led my husband and I to withdraw him once the semester was over.

[Priscilla]

Stephanie and Amber -- we are considering Brentwood and we are in the Pflugerville school district.



Thank you SO MUCH for all of your input. I know it's impossible to tell ME what to do but hearing what YOU do and why is truly helping.[

My comment on exposure was purely based on one parent's perspective and the misconseption about private being more "protected". I do think exposure is genera;;y the same, it's just LESS was on my brain at the time because we had just talked to a parent that spent 15 minutes on "the kids here are so awesome and good" ... so I was just throwing that out there as a possible scenario constantly brought up ... even by Will's preschool teacher. Private seems more sheltered. At least that's what we keep hearing. That may or may not be good. (dh and I actually talked later and it occured to me if the parents only see "goody-goody" kids what are they doing behind their back because they are too scared for mom and dad to see it??)


This is such a tough choice. I'm blessed to have 3 choices and can't pick one.

As far as accepting expelled students: no, they do NOT.

They call theirselves "college prep" - which we love and claim to have over a 99% rate of student that go on to college. I'm sure that's possibly fudged. .. on the other hand they seem to put fine arts )choir and drama) before science which we do NOT love. ..but at hte same time they don't have major sports so that doesnt come before academics.

Public is 1 mile away. Private is about 20-25.

[ayaandjudah]

I couldn't agree with this more. Especially the part about learning how to interact/accept those that are not like them.

Originally Posted by Shawna Clingerman

I am a really big fan of giving my kids a "normal" childhood experience (i am over compensating for my own childhood... i know this...) but hands down i pick public...

i think it is really an important part of growing up is for kids to spend time learning how to be with/around kids that aren't cookie cutter reps of them. I also think it is def. not a true stereotype that private schools aren't going to have any bad examples for your kiddos.

bottom line for me is that weather it be now as little kids, or in a few years as adolescents, or in twenty years as an employee ... eventually all of us have to learn how to interact with the "mainstream" people. I know some believe that it is best to shelter your kids until you think they are strong enough to handle the peer pressure, but i tend to think that it is wiser to give your child the chance to learn as they grow.

Now if you live somewhere scary and kids are bringing weapons to the elementary school that is different, but for me personally in most situations i would choose public.

[AmberK]

I know that Brentwood is a really good school- a lot of the families at the church I attend (Westside Church of Christ) send their kids to Brentwood. However, one of the families at church was having problems with their boys being bullied in public school so they pulled them out and sent them to Brentwood and the same problems occurred there. So I dont think that just because its private that they are immune to dealing with the same issues as in public.

That being said- we simply cant afford to send our kids to private school and since we are in a good school district then I feel totally at ease with sending my kids there. Plus my SIL works at the elementary where Drew will be going to Kinder and that makes me feel more at ease too!

[rach3975]

I know it's tough to make a choice, but it's nice that your trouble comes from too many good options instead of none!

One thing to consider about distance is whether you're willing to drive it for playdates. I switched from a public HS 10 minutes away to a private HS 30 minutes away. I had school friends at the 2nd school, but I rarely saw them outside of school because we were all spread out so far. After driving us back and forth all week, the last thing my parents wanted to do was chauffer us to weekend activites and friends' houses, some of which were 20 or 30 minutes farther than school.

[davec777]

Our 4 kids have attended private school since pre-k. There are two main reasons we have our kids there. One is the Christian teachers and Bible teaching. I love that the teachers can pray with our kids and encourage them in their Christian walk. The second reason was that the school is strong academically - stronger than our local public schools. Only the charter schools can compete with it academically and they are very difficult to get into. JMHO. Good luck with your decision, Priscilla.

Stephanie

[Milmomma]

Well here where we are stationed I'm fighting tooth and nail just to get my kid into any school. There's a christian english private school not far from us. Like a block but it is full and so is the on base (I guess public school). I finally got them to let my son into the on base school which I prefer. I want him in on base schools as much as possible with all our moving at least the teachers and other kids understand that we will only be there this long and then be moving on. I don't want my kids to always be the new kids in a school where everyone else has been there since kindy. I think you have to do what fits your kid. I'm glad you have a lot of choices wish we had more here.