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  #1  
Old 02-21-2010, 02:15 PM
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Default If your spouse works away/works long hours/deployed, etc or if you're a single mom...

DH leaves tomorrow for his first week working away. I know it's going to take a few weeks to get into our new routine.... I'm not looking forward to the fact that he's going to be home less than 48 hours/week, but it's the reality of our life for now so we're going to make the best of it.

So now I'm wondering, what am I going to cook for dinner for only myself and Wes? DH obviously won't be here to eat or help clean up, so I'm going to have to rethink my meal planning for easier, quicker, faster clean-up meals. Ideas?

I know I'm going to need to be more prepared than ever... getting lunches ready and laying out clothes the night before to be able to get out the door on time in the mornings... figure out creative ways to entertain Wes while cooking dinner, working out, etc.

What other ideas/tips do you have for me?
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Old 02-21-2010, 02:20 PM
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hm..
well, I'm a single mom...
I think you'd surprise yourself as to how quickly you adjust. It's not really that hard - and the things i struggled to adjust to were SILLLY... like forgetting to take the garbage out. ^_^

I have the added bonus of that ce eats meat and i'm a vegan.. so meals are even weirder here.. BUT- I buy like the little 2 dollar packages of chicken etc which is more than enough for 2 meals worth for him (so I'd assume that'd be good for you). Just lil things like that.. small adjustments :]
Once you get yourself into the routine you'll be golden :]
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Old 02-21-2010, 02:23 PM
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Awww HUGS, I'm sorry your DH has to start working away

I have no constructive advice... just wanted to say hugs! big life changes like that are really overwhelming - but you'll do great I'm sure!
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Old 02-21-2010, 02:29 PM
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I, too, am a single mom and very much like La, I am a vegetarian while my son is not. I, too, buy little packages of meat for him and pre-cook it. I also will make full sized meals once a week that will last for 2 suppers (often 3 for me). I don't worry about us eating something fancy every night. A lot of nights, I will make whatever Nicholas wants. If its not something I wanted, I make something else for myself. We make a lot of easy meals, like tacos, quesdillas, cheese and crackers, etc. I am not sure how old Wes is, but Nicholas usually watches TV or plays in his room while I cook. Good luck! I am sure you will adjust fast.
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Old 02-21-2010, 03:04 PM
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My hubby does power line contruction and has only been home for a few months due to the slowing economy and being laid off. We do have a hopeful job in the forcast though.

when he is away I my meal plans are pretty simple. We eat breakfast alot at night.
Grilled Sandwiches on the George Foreman or I put something in the crockpot. We do end up with a good bit of leftovers so those get frozen into single serving sizes to pop into the microwave over the weekend or when I don't have alot of time to cook a meal from scratch.

You will adjust faster than what you think...you will never like it but have faith in yourself that you will be able to handle it.
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Old 02-21-2010, 03:15 PM
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My DH is a cop, and works a lot of night shifts. This means he sleeps a lot during the day, and misses dinner in the evenings.

What I do is, I tend to cook what the kids like and make myself something else (ie, a sandwich or salad since the kids like neither). I have been a cop's wife all of my married life so I really don't know what it's like to not be on my own quite a bit. I use my crock pot, casseroles made in advance, making enough for 2-3 meals at a time, etc. I also cook whenever I have a chance, so if I'm not busy at 11 am, I'll make dinner at that time, or prep as much as possible. It makes meal times less stressful.

I just have a very good routine with the kids that I do, their meals, baths, activities remain the same whether daddy is working or not. I mean, our dinner time is 5 pm and that is when they eat, even if daddy is getting off at 6 pm. We don't wait, because in his profession, he usually never gets off at the time he is supposed to, and I just like for things to continue to remain as regular as possible regardless. It was more important when they were little than now (they are 9,7 and 5) but I do find they are more difficult to get along with when they are hungry or off routine.

One thing to watch out for is, cooking for him, and not cooking for yourself. I have done this, and end up waiting until they go to bed, and binge on junk food because I'm too lazy to make myself something. Do NOT do that! LOL!
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Old 02-21-2010, 03:19 PM
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We were pretty much in the same situation a few years ago. When my hubby worked away from home I loved the saving dinner weekly menus because there were options for two. My DD is picky and ate a bunch of the stuff no complaints. I just used the regular menu mailer and what was awesome is I could double the recipes and have plenty for him also. I think she has a few sample meal plans on her website so you can try out a week or two before you buy. I still love and make lots of her recipes even though I don't follow the menus closely anymore.
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Old 02-21-2010, 03:21 PM
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I've been through 2 deployments. I think it was just mostly getting routine established and trying my best to stick to it.

As far as meals go I didn't do a lot of huge meals..the first time around DS was a baby so I basically just had to do for myself...mostly lean cuisine lol

The second time around I was pregnant the entire time with a 3 year old..so it was total survival mode most days lol

You manage though...you just do what you have to do.

Honestly...it was a little harder both times when DH came home b/c he interrupted our routine you know? So I imagine you'll be good to go until the days he's home and then it will be hectic lol.
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Old 02-21-2010, 03:39 PM
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I was making monthly freezer meals before DF started working in the UK so I just kept with it. I only cook two nights during the week when he is gone because I make the meal and have plenty of leftovers for the following day.
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Old 02-21-2010, 03:50 PM
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Dh works in retail, so I'm often alone for dinnertime or Saturday/Sunday.

When he has his days off, I prep the food for the week to come: wash/cut the veggies, prepare the meat, etc. Then I can cook dinner in less time when I'm alone. I like to cook more food, so we can have leftovers for lunch: a pork roast for dinner, then pork sandwiches for lunch, for example. The crock pot is my friend, too!

If you plan a little, everything will go well.
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Old 02-21-2010, 04:06 PM
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I'm a single mom too (and still adjusting), and I pretty much gave up on cooking big meals. My kids won't eat most of it anyway, and there's just no time when we get home from work/school/daycare. We eat healthy meals, but I would definitely call them "kid" meals. While I cook (or assemble), I will turn on NickJr for them. I feel no shame about that either. LOL! We do a lot of planned nights, like Tuesday is waffle/cottage cheese/applesauce night because we get home later from gymnastics. When I do cook a meal I make enough for a few meals, then we eat the leftovers. They're 6 and 2, so they don't care.
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Old 02-21-2010, 05:45 PM
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Jeff's new job has him working almost every day and mostly afternoons/evenings, so he is usually only here for a couple hours while the baby is awake. Does it count if I FEEL like a single mom a lot of the time?! *lol*

I ditto what Jamie said in doing what you do regardless of whether your hubby will be there or not. Always have dinner, bed, bath, etc. at the same time and fit hubby in when he is there. Make sure you eat and sleep, too! It's really easy to become completely kid-focused without another adult there and then you find yourself up at 2 am scrapping and all you've eaten for the day is sour cream 'n' onion potato chips! Along the same lines, make sure you get out once in awhile, even if it is with Wes in tow, so you can have conversation with an adult.
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Old 02-21-2010, 06:03 PM
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When my hubby's gone for long periods I like one pot meals... and ones that can create leftovers for another day. I make a lot of stir fry, one pot pasta dishes, fajitas/tacos, etc.

And we eat a lot of eggs and toast, canned soups, and even cereal nights... lol.

It'll just take time to get used to it. The first few times my hubby went away for weeks at a time it was hard, but now it's a breeze... lol, I look forward to the hubby-free time for watching girly movies at night... lol. When he's around he just makes fun of them...
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Old 02-21-2010, 06:31 PM
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although i'm a single mom i won't be much help...my mom is my babysitter and she cooks my son breakfast and most nights dinner too...i was laid off for 9 months and the most important thing i found was i had to be organized (or somewhat organized)...my son is a total picky eater so some days he would prefer a baked potato...
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Old 02-21-2010, 09:09 PM
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nother military wife. I keep it the same weather he is home or not. I cook big meals on the weekend only. During the week its smaller stuff. We don't really like leftovers around here. Bath/bed time always stay the same no matter what. I think you should do what you feel comfortable with. Sometimes a night of sandwiches or cereal is perfectly okay
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Old 02-21-2010, 09:14 PM
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My husband is out of town M-F every week. I do a lot of kid food like mac and cheese, pizza, pancakes, sloppy joes, etc. For myself I make a big pot of something and just eat it for a few days. White chili or such.
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Old 02-21-2010, 11:56 PM
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My hubby's a drill sgt. he's gone a lot. I'm pretty much a single mom. two weeks tops and you'll be in a routine. Have things like corn dogs and chicken nuggets and stuff like that inyour freezer. there will be nights that you lose track of time and don'thave time to make something and need to pop someting in fast for a starving kid. You're lucky you've got a kid. Kids make being alone much easier. I've done the alone thing with and without kids an I much prefer it with kids [though it makes it sad when their dad misses everything ] because they make days go by much faster. Night time will be the lonely time. prepare for that.
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Old 02-22-2010, 12:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adi View Post
My hubby's a drill sgt. he's gone a lot. .
dude, your dh is a drill sgt. I always wondering how they were at home. I would imagine it would be very hard to shut that off. Like at work, if someone does something stupid (which, of course, is often in basic training), you just start screaming. So when your kids do something stupid, how do you not just start screaming automatically.
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Old 02-22-2010, 12:44 AM
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I'm a single mom, and on nights when we're overly busy I love the swanson and bird's eye skillet meals. They're fairly healthy, and really quick and easy. Throw it in a skillet, heat it up, and it's done, 20 minutes tops and there's a wide variety of them. DD has soccer practice or a game every day for the next two months, so we'll probably be eating a lot of them. Monday is our "mom's going nuts" day, dd has school, choir, soccer practice, and then dance, and we're not home until almost 8:00 at night, and then we have bath, so it's usually sandwich night for us, or the one night I don't feel AS guilty about running through McDonald's or Burger King on the way home. The best advice I can give you is to keep it as simple as possible.
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Old 02-22-2010, 11:54 AM
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DH has 2 jobs, and the first one he works super early usually he is gone by 4:30am and will get home sometimes around 11am or sometimes until 1:30pm. Either way the mornings it's just me and the kids.

DH picks up the baby from the sitter & then the other 2 from their schools and then drives about 45mins to the 2nd job (which is 5 mins from where I work). We then switch cars and I take the kids home and it's just us again. DH gets home around midnite.

He works weekends too which means his days off vary - if he happens to have a weekend off - we usually go out or visit his parents or mine. He is home once, sometimes twice a week in the afternoons so those days we'll make a bigger meal.

Other nights when it's just the kids and myself, we'll have simple things like spagetti or tacos or something fast that they like.
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Old 02-22-2010, 12:40 PM
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My DH is a flight attendant on the international routes so my life goes topsy turvy between him home and not. I've found the same as Lauren - I forget the silly things - unfortunately I still do since there are times where he takes the bin out for 6 weeks and then its my turn - Im better with consistency since Im not the most organised person in the world - though maybe my ability to adapt to change and work outside set structures makes me better at this than I might be otherwise! Who knows

On the food front - for me and my 2 dd's I usually do double cooking and save half for an easy meal within the next 48 hours. Spaghetti Sauces freeze really well and thats my emergency stash dinner - it only takes 10-15 to cook the pasta and heat the sauce. My dd's have never been given kiddy type meals - they've always eaten what we eat.

Casseroles and slow cookers are more of my favs - love coming home from work and having food freshly cooked and just waiting to be served.

It may take a little adjusting but you will set a routine that works for you - it does get easier over time!
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Old 02-22-2010, 10:58 PM
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When DH is deployed I cook every other night and then we have leftovers on the off night. I've learned that we have a family of 3 and we have a family of 2 (minus DH) and we've developed a routine for each.
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