NSBR: Kids and music

[cardinalskate]

I love ALL KINDS of music. I like pop stuff, and rock, and some rap, a few country singers/bands, classical, and classic rock. But when I'm listening to this stuff in the car (by myself), I start thinking about what I can and can't let my kiddo listen to. We all know that some of this stuff just isn't appropriate for kids. Now, mine's pretty young (we're still listening to Laurie Berkner and Fresh Beat Band at this point), so I don't have to worry about this asap, but it's been on my mind lately. I do know about Kidz Bop...are those really a good alternative?

What do you other parents do? Am I just being to prudish?

[KateD]

I'm definitely concerned about what my kids listen to. They're 13 and 11 and definitely impressionable. They both have iPods, but have to sync the music from my computer so we know what's on there. Fortunately they both like christian music, so we've been making sure we pick up some of the newer "rock" type CD's for them. They like popular music, too, and we definitely make sure we approve of what's on their iPod's. We don't have control over what they listen to with their friends, though

[rach3975]

My oldest is 8.5 and starting to listen to real music on his own, so it's been on my mind a lot lately, too. I listen to a mix (adult contemporary) radio station where the talk is fairly PG, and most of the things I wouldn't want my kids to hear in a song go over their heads. If a song that's overtly inappropriate comes on (or one that I wouldn't want them asking me the meaning of), I change the channel. I'm fairly comfortable with how I handle it when I'm with the kids, but when DS is listening on his own it's a new ball game. For now DH and I still have a lot of control over what he's listening to, but I know that will get harder soon.

[kscwgirl]

We listen to country. Abby will pick up a few pop cd's here and there like Demi Lovato or Selena Gomez. I don't worry about it with the country music, my kids know what they can and can't say and they listen to what I listen to with very few exceptions.

[pewtertm]

Well, we mainly listen to Kids Place Live or Radio Disney on Sirius XM radio. She also really likes the Christian pop CDs that we've bought her...Mardel's has a pretty good selection of music. Rachel loves the Kidz Bop songs that she has been exposed to. Their songs are the cleaned-up versions, so there shouldn't be anything too bad in them.

[tsbegley]

So, is it weird that my 9.5 year old loves U2?

We listen to the bands and artists that we like around our kids and that's a wide variety. For some reason they both REALLY like Rascal Flatts, which is pretty benign. My 9.5 year old girl has no interest in teeny bopper artists. Thankful that I've escaped that so far!

[Stacey42]

My kids are forced to listen to lots of 80s rock & new wave when they are in the car these days Plus we get some new stuff on Pulse on Sirrius XM. I do change the station for anything overtly sexual or violent but the 4 stations we generally listen to (80's, 1st Wave, Alternative & the Pulse) don't really give me too much to worry about. Except every now & then. I don't want to explain U and UR Hand to my 8 & 9 year old. Or anything calling women names or talking about shooting people. They have my old ipod mini & a cheapy mp3 player but they have to ask me to put music on it.

Friend of mine lets her kids listen to all sorts of stuff so when they come over her 7 year old teaches my kids the words to all these songs about pimping & shooting people & the thug life.

[kelley]

Ug, this is a sore topic for me. I hate that everywhere we go, we hear inappropriate songs and see inappropriate stuff on magazines. My kids hear music I consider bad often through various sources, and I don't like it. I listen to country or Christian 90% of the time, but they still hear it at other people's houses, in stores, at the pool. I think at this point, the only way for me to handle it is to explain to them that inappropriate music is everywhere, and we need to make good choices when it comes to what we listen to. We choose Christian music mostly when buying songs, so their own collections are appropriate. It goes right along with the magazine thing -there is really no way to control it 100% of the time, you just have to explain it to them.

[Laura_A]

Originally Posted by tsbegley

So, is it weird that my 9.5 year old loves U2?

I don't think so! My 10-year-old has loved classic rock for a few years now...Aerosmith, Queen, etc. We're very eclectic in our music choices depending on the mood we're in. Like some of the other moms here, I load their iPods from my iTunes, so I can leave off the songs I think are inappropriate. Admittedly, I'm probably a little more lenient with what I let mine listen to (curse words don't really bother me too much, with a few exceptions). I draw the line at sexually explicit lyrics though...ie, my daughter likes Nickelback (I'm a big fan) but they have some songs that I definitely don't let her listen to. My 12-year-old is getting to the age where there isn't a lot she doesn't already hear at school...sigh...so I make sure we're very open with each other and answer any questions she has, no matter how uncomfortable for me. lol I'm still careful what she's exposed to when I have control though.

[mariewilcox]

To be honest I don't worry about it; same with what she reads. My parents never censored me and I never censored my son and we all turned out just fine. My parents were both school teachers - high school and middle school, so they knew what was out there but raised us to have minds of our own and not follow the crowd. They always made sure we could talk to them about anything and we did, the same as I've been with both my kids.

Cheyanne loves just about any music and is musically talented like me, so she listens to just about everything and plays a wide variety of music also. She knows it's just music and not something to emulate in "real life" and that music is an expression of many things - then again, she's also a very strong-minded, confident person too and doesn't let others influence her

[cardinalskate]

So many good points here, thank you so much guys. My daughter's only 4, so I have a way to go before I really have to start explaining stuff, but these are things that go through my mind.

I want her to like a wide variety of music, and like I said *I* listen to these things, so I have no problem explaining things to her and teaching her to make good decisions and not to read too much into music. But it used to be music just kinda contained innuendos to sexual things. Now they just outright say it, and in a very abrupt manner.

It's funny you mention books, Marie, because that kind of puts it in perspective for me. I wasn't censored in my reading, and turned out to be a voracious reader. I have thought a lot if I was going to tell her what she can and can't read, and I decided I wasn't. I wasn't censored in my music, and grew up with a wide variety of music and from the age 12 or so on, music was pretty much my life, singing and playing music.

Sometimes it's just hard to make decisions. Seems like half my worries as a parent are worrying about if I'm making the right parenting decisions. *sigh

[mariewilcox]

You're right Kate, there is a lot to worry about and so many decisions to make. I think it really helps when the parents are willing to be open and honest and take an active role in their child's life. I personally always felt that I would rather my kids listen and read what they want and discuss it with me, rather than read or listen to things in a sneaky way or with their friends and then not talk to me about it. Sometimes I feel sheltering our kids too much can be a huge recipe for problems later on. Fortunately Cheyanne finds certain things offensive on her own and stays away from them on her own and her brother was the same.

[emmasmommy]

my kids listen to a lot of radio disney, but they also listen to a lot of 'new' music too. yes, some of it is probably inappropriate, but, they don't get it (yet) so i'm not overly concerned.

[jessica31876]

My son is 15. My daughter is soon to be 21 in 3 months. So I do not really worry about it although there are a lot of songs *I* will not listen to and don't want my son to listen to although at 15 it is a little harder to control what he hears/sees. All three of my kids though made good choices til now so I try to not tell them no you cannot listen to that. When I was younger that just made it more likely Id want to check it out and see what the hype was all about. When the kids were little it just made for a more peaceful car trip to listen to stuff the kids liked. Which meant a lot of Barney when they were young LOL(before satelite radio). But they also loved classic rock and country too

[rach3975]

Originally Posted by mariewilcox

To be honest I don't worry about it; same with what she reads. My parents never censored me and I never censored my son and we all turned out just fine.

My parents never censored my reading, and I know I read things that many would consider age inappropriate. Like you said, I turned out fine and was the kind of child who knew it was just a story and would still make good choices in my own life.

I didn't plan to censor my kids' reading, either. But as with so many parenting decisions, I'm having to rethink how I planned to do it. My oldest is the kind of kid who doesn't just read a book or watch a tv show. Everything becomes an obsession: he acts it out, talks about it constantly, refuses to read/watch other things, and is generally very influenced by it. I'm hoping that changes as he gets older, but for now I feel like I need to control what he's exposed to more than I expected to.

[Jennilyn]

My kids (almost 7 and 10) like the music I listen to. I don't like music that swears or has inappropriate lyrics (except for a few songs that say a swear word or two), so most of the time I am okay with them listening to what I do. Good thing...we save money on iTunes. LOL

[newfiemountiewife]

I feel exactly like Marie. My parents never ever censored what I could listen to or read, and I don't do that with my kids. My kids are 12, 9 and 7. Sure, some of it is garbage, but I remember listening to songs when I was a kid, and the fact is, I didn't know what ANY of the lyrics actually meant LOL. I listen to everything from Metallica to Duran Duran, with some Nicki Minaj and Eminem thrown in for good measure, plus who knows what else. I don't buy "clean" versions of songs, and I just listen to whatever I like in the car. I don't worry at all.

[sarahtawisha]

I'm w/many others and don't really plan on censoring what my children listen to or read. Right now they're 4 & 5 so they don't get a lot of innuendo or meaning to the lyrics. They both enjoy pop music so we'll listen to it in the car. I guess my logic is if I deny them of these popular things they may seek it out and hide it from me later in life once they start getting more outside influences. So far, not making it a big deal is working out for us

[dailydwellin]

My girls (7) love music. In their room they have a collection of Christian CDs and some country music. They're big Taylor Swift fans. Luckily, they're very happy with that. I've gotten them one of the Kids' Bop Christmas CDs and they loved it, but for some reason I've been hesitant to buy one of the regular ones for them.

Funny story...my husband brought back some of his old cassette tapes from visiting his parents' house last year and gave them to our girls to listen too. These are so old...like Ricky Staggs and Larnelle Harris (Christian singer). When we were in Cracker Barrell this summer, one of my girls saw a Ricky Staggs CD and raved about how she loved him...ha!! We really need to open their repertoire of music, I'm thinking.

[Stacey42]

Originally Posted by rach3975

I didn't plan to censor my kids' reading, either. But as with so many parenting decisions, I'm having to rethink how I planned to do it. My oldest is the kind of kid who doesn't just read a book or watch a tv show. Everything becomes an obsession: he acts it out, talks about it constantly, refuses to read/watch other things, and is generally very influenced by it. I'm hoping that changes as he gets older, but for now I feel like I need to control what he's exposed to more than I expected to.

I have the same thing with my youngest. I let my oldest read whatever he wants because he reads it, talks about it a bit when he is done with it and moves on to the next book. My youngest becomes sort of obsessed with what he reads & highly focused on it, acts it out, recites parts, builds an imaginary world around it. With some books that is great, it's wonderful to see what he can do with his imagination, but there are other books where it is unsettling. And he's 8. There are books and lyrics that I just don't want my 8 year old focusing on.

We don't censor so much as say "That isn't appropriate for you right now." We drink wine & beer & whiskey and the boys understand that those drinks aren't appropriate for them yet. Some tv shows aren't appropriate yet but they become appropriate as they get older. Same with books & music.

[lovely1m]

I listen to hard rock, so does my almost 6 year old and he loves it. He asked for an iPod for his birthday and wants me to put on Pantera, Chevelle, Volbeat, etc. Its what he's getting, too. I have no problem with him listening to it. I don't believe in censoring music and I don't think it will hurt my son. We talk about things and he knows swearing is not allowed at his age. Its ok with me, but I am pretty lienent.