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#1
08-31-2009, 09:53 AM
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I had a horrible weekend and I need help
This weekend probably tops the worst weekends ever. This might be long, so I apologize. My best friend that I've had since 8th grade has been trying to have a baby for a very long time, they tried infertility drugs, IVF, nothing worked and then they were very surprised and excited to find out she was finally pregnant after about 5 years of trying. She had a very easy/normal pregnancy, had her baby shower 2 weekends ago. They were head over heels excited about this little boy that was coming into the world. Well...I got a phone call Saturday morning that something horrible had happened. She gave birth to a baby boy that was stillborn. This was a complete and horrible shock. Her water broke and she went through labor fine, no complications other than she was progressing slowly. Baby's heartbeat was fine, nothing wrong. She pushed for 2 hours and nothing, so they decided to do a c-section, he still had a heartbeat when they unhooked her to take her back they checked again before they started, still everything was fine. But for some reason after they got in there, he was stuck in the birthing canal and they could not get him out. After they finally got him out they worked on him for 2 hours and there was nothing they can do. So here they are totally excited for this little baby and now they have nothing. Everything was ready for him at home and this is going to probably be one of the worst times they ever go through. I feel like there is nothing I can do for them, I mean I am there for them, but I feel totally helpless. They have only 1 good pic of him and he has a tube in his mouth. So yesterday I talked to her mom and offered to take some pics of him today at the funeral home. I'm hoping to get some decent pics of him that they will be able to keep and treasure. But I still feel like I need to do more. I want to get them something that would be special to them, but I have no idea what to get. I also am planning on putting a little scrapbook together of the pics I get of him, but still feel completely helpless. Anyone have any suggestions of a good keepsake that I could get for them?
Also, for anyone who prays, would you please pray for baby Tucker's family, they are going to have a long road ahead of them and will need all the prayers that they can get I'm sure.
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Angel Fan of ALL SSD Designers Proud to create for:      
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#2
08-31-2009, 09:56 AM
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That is so heartbreaking. I can't even imagine!
 I'll be praying for them.
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#3
08-31-2009, 09:56 AM
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Oh my gosh Angel, how completely horrible! I'm crying for them as I type this!
I have no suggestions but I'm sure they will thank God for a friend as special as you are!
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#4
08-31-2009, 09:58 AM
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This is so sad
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#6
08-31-2009, 10:02 AM
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The are def in my thoughts & prayers, I am so sorry for the loss and can't even imagine what they must be going through. As far as getting them something, I really think that scrapbook will be a perfect remembrance. The only other thing I could possibly think of is maybe a shadow box with some of the things from the hospital (if they have anything) like the hat/bracelet/blanket, etc.
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Christine MY BLOG  Proudly creating for:
LCC by Amy Stoffel, Cori Gammon, DIGI SCRAP ADDICTS Site CT, Faith True, Geek Chic Scraps, Jac Bernardo, Laura Banasiak, Litabells Designs, Kelley Mickus, Micheline Martin Designs, Nikki Epperson, Penny Springmann, SCRAP ORCHARD Site CT, THE DAILY SCRAPPER Site CT
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#7
08-31-2009, 10:03 AM
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I am so sorry losing a child would have to be the worst thing that could ever happen to someone I will say a prayer for them.
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#8
08-31-2009, 10:04 AM
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Thanks everyone, I just feel like I should do more, but I don't know if there is anything more to do for them.
Quote:
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Angel Fan of ALL SSD Designers Proud to create for:
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#9
08-31-2009, 10:04 AM
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a friend of ours went through this a few months ago...very similar..Augie was full term and it was completely unexpected. What we did was take up a collection and have a custom made wooden box carved for him with a brass plate on top of it with his name...for his mama to store the things she had of his, hospital bracelet, etc. A keepsake box. Ours was carved in birch because Augie's middle name was Birch.
I ordered Tabatha a necklace from here after she lost Sebastian and Katriel and I highly recommend the site and their work.
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#11
08-31-2009, 10:09 AM
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OMG, this is horrible! I'm so sorry. I'll keep them in my thoughts!
(((HUGS)))
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Giseli Freitas
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#13
08-31-2009, 10:28 AM
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Oh, that's so horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to them.
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#17
08-31-2009, 10:49 AM
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I can't imagine how devastating that would be. I pray God will help them through their time of grieving.
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#20
08-31-2009, 11:38 AM
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Oh, Angel. My heart is just breaking for your friends! What a terrible tragedy! I am seriously almost in tears...
Your friends and their precious angel baby are in my prayers. ((hugs))
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creating for * 9th & Bloom * Jennifer Barrette Designs * Polly & Rufus Designs *
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#22
08-31-2009, 11:45 AM
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Oh my goodness, what a heartbreaking story! I can't imagine going through that! I'm sure your love and support will mean so much to them. They will be in my thoughts and prayers!
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#23
08-31-2009, 11:45 AM
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My heart is breaking for them, I will have them in my thoughts. I think the photos are a great idea, and the site Lena posted is perfect.
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#26
08-31-2009, 12:44 PM
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the worst nightmare for one who struggled to get pregnant realized... my heart hurts... will be praying for your friends, and that God gives you the right words and right thing to do at the right time...
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Nettie  
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#28
08-31-2009, 12:49 PM
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My thoughts and prayers are with the family. So sorry.
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 Penny
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#30
08-31-2009, 01:17 PM
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Sad doesn't begin to express my thoughts. My heart is broken for your friend and what she and her family must being going through now. They will be in my prayers. And I think it's wonderful that she has a loving friend like you at a time like this.
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#31
08-31-2009, 01:22 PM
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how absolutely heartbreaking! When my friend lost their baby, they did a cast of her hand and foot prints. They keep it in a memorial box and it is a very tangible reminder of their little angel. Some proof that the baby actually existed and made a real impression in this world, even though her life outside the womb never existed.
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Meredith
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#33
08-31-2009, 01:56 PM
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How terrible sad. I am so sorry for them.
When my sister lost her child due to having her very, very early, I bought her a necklace with that baby's name on it. I didn't want to put a date on it cause she didn't consider that the baby's birthday, just the name. She wore it daily for a long time, I am not sure if she still wears it everyday, but I know having something like that close to her heart helped her. Also when a good friend of mine lost her mom, I gave her an angel. Something she could put up and see every once in a while.
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#34
08-31-2009, 01:58 PM
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I am so, so sorry. =(
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#35
08-31-2009, 02:00 PM
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I don't what to tell you I have never had to go through something like that, but my prayers are with everyone hurting.
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#36
08-31-2009, 02:19 PM
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I'm so so sorry, Angel. Tucker's family will certainly be in my prayers. The site Lena posted looks great. I recently had a friend who lost her baby girl at 9 weeks old. A friend and I brainstormed ideas for gifts and settled on a tree that she can plant in her backyard. Many sites offer engraved garden "tags" or a carved stone that could be put in front of it. I'm not sure if that's appropriate for her situation or not, but thought I'd mention it.
I think this is the site that was finally used: http://www.thecomfortcompany.net/mem...ift-trees.aspx
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Karen My Blog: Life as MommyMo Proud to create for: The Daily Digi, 9th and Bloom, Jenn Barrette, Leora Sanford, Fizzy Pop Designs, Tracie Stroud, PixelQueens, Wendyzine and Kelley Mickus
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#38
08-31-2009, 04:05 PM
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Oh goodnesss I can't even fathom the heartbreak.
I was going to suggest the site Lena shared. And also just wanted to say that I'm holding them in my prayers.
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#39
08-31-2009, 06:20 PM
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That is so incredibly sad. My heart breaks for them
I think doing anything at all would be a wonderful thing for a friend to do. I am sure that she will be so grateful that someone remembered her baby. My aunt had one, and I think it was just "forgotten" because the baby never lived, but I think it's important for people to remember. You're being a great friend. I wish you strength as you help her get through it.
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#42
08-31-2009, 07:06 PM
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I am soo sorry! My friend lost her baby boy not that long ago, while she was 8 months pregnant, when the umb cord got wrapped around his neck. It was so traumatic for their family. She had to deliver the baby stillborn. The family took lots of pictures and I did make a scrapbook for her. I felt so helpless tho, not being able to do anything to help. I totally understand how you feel. The best thing you can do is just be there when she needs you.
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~Kellie~    
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#44
08-31-2009, 08:01 PM
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I can understand what you mean about how you are feeling...but I really think you are doing the absolute BEST thing any friend could do for them....be there to listen...and my goodness to photograph and make a scrapbook for them...you are one absolutely wonderful friend!! {{{hugs}}} to you for going through this with them...and to have the strength to do what will most likely be your most challenging scrapbook ever. You are one true friend!
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Thanks!
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#47
08-31-2009, 10:24 PM
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I am so sorry to hear this. We have family friends who lost their first baby to a cord accident at about 8 months. I know it is so heartbreaking. I'm glad that they have you as a friend. Prayers for your friends.
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#49
09-01-2009, 12:19 AM
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Oh Angel this is heartbreaking...such a sad story
I can't imagine going thru something like that but I'm sure having you there will definitely help your friend get thru this horrible time. Fee
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#50
09-01-2009, 01:38 PM
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I feel so sad for your friends and I think it is wonderful that you are supporting them through this very difficult time and taking photos and making a scrapbook for them. You are a true friend! I'm guessing you have this in the US (we do in Australia) I had 3D moulds made of my babies hands & feet when they were a few months old, they were then mounted in a shawdow box along with a photo and a plaque engraved with their details. This is what I mean - sorry about the funny angle but it's night time here and I needed to use the flash.
[IMG]  [/IMG]
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