Home Alone

[lovely1m]

At what age did/would you leave your kids home alone? Different for short periods of time and long periods of time? (feel free to clarify)

[MommaTrish]

I started leaving Zach home alone for like periods of no more than 10-15 minutes once he turned 8. No plans as of yet on longer times. I don't know if I'll ever trust Ryan home alone.

[catgoddess]

My mom left me home alone about age 10-11 for a few hours at a time. I was a responsible kid, though. I did laundry during that time, cleaned my room, then read books. There is no way my mom would have done that with my younger sister who was almost never left alone even once she was 18.

I think it really depends on the kid.

[emmasmommy]

I leave Emma at home with Madelyn but it's not for more than 10-15 minutes when I run up to the Dollar Store or something like that. I don't think I'd leave her for more than that until she was about 9 or 10.


mind you, this is the child who would NEVER break a rule on purpose. She is not your typical 8 year old by any stretch of the imagination.

[YepBrook]

Ben is 7 and Grace is 4, I only leave them alone for a few minutes at a time (to run out to the car or take out the trash). I will say, DH had some very negative experiences being left home alone in the summer. At 10 he was home alone all day while his parents were at work and his younger brother was in an all- day camp. It was scary for him and he would go off walking in the neighborhood and woods... He's told me some crazy stories.

Leaving kids completely alone makes them... Lonely. I wouldn't do until 10-12 (depending on the kid) for more than a 1-3 hours or so at a time until they are mature enough. But, I definitely lean strongly towards being protective.

[carriesmom]

When we were little, my mom left us home alone after school when I was 9/10 and my brother was 7/8. She left us home for maybe 10 minutes when I was maybe 7 but it was rare and we lived in a neighborhood where we knew everyone. So anyone could have checked in. My girls are 4 and 5 and wouldn't leave them alone for a minute in the house unless it walking to the curb and back. I was a responsible kid but my girls are little more reckless. I probably won't leave them home alone after school until my oldest is in junior high. I am just paranoid that way. I should also note that mom was a stay at home mom until I was 9 and then she was a schoolteacher. So I never stayed home alone during the summer.

[lovely1m]

I have been wondering about leaving Nicholas (almost 7) for a short bit while I go for a run. I asked him what he thought about it and he said it would be ok with that. Its so hard to get in running time and I need it. I have also been wondering about having him home alone for 10 minutes in the morning and then walking next door to the bus stop, but I think I will ask one of the neighbors to walk him instead. It's so hard to know what to do sometimes.

I started staying home alone all day when I was sick at 8 and during the summer at 10. I behaved, we never left the house. I was a very independent, reliable kid though. I am also a single, working mother.

[carrie1977]

My children are 9 (10 in a couple weeks) and 5 (6 in September). They have never been left home alone. I just can't get myself to do it even though when I was their age my parents had left us home alone.

I don't know what age is "acceptable" for me. I guess I'll know the first time I leave them. LOL!

[Misty Cato]

My kids are 8 and 5 and I haven't ever left them alone. I don't know when I will, but they aren't ready yet.

[krystalhartley]

11...but not for a full day.
Also, when Avery hit 11, Landon was still 6, and we would NOT make her responsible for his care...she only stayed home alone if it was just her. We didn't let her "babysit" him until she was 14...not because she wasn't responsible, but siblings can be pills and behave inappropriately or create friction that isn't necessarily seen when a non-sibling is the babysitter.

I started staying home alone, watching my 2 younger sisters when I was 8. My mother had limited options, but I always felt I had to grow up too quickly and resented the responsibility as I got older.

[rach3975]

I voted other because it depends so much on the child, situation, and length of time. I've left my 9 year old home for 15 minutes or so while I dropped DS2 off at school a few blocks away. I don't know yet when I'll feel comfortable leaving him home for a few hours. Probably not until 11 or 12, and older than that for watching his sister. (DS2 is an entirely different kid...he's 7 now, and I'm sure it will be many years before we could even consider leaving him home without an adult. An older brother wouldn't be enough.) I trust my 9 year old to follow the rules; it's whether he could handle an unexpected emergency that stops me from leaving him for longer.

Here are the guidelines developed by county "social work and community professionals" that are publicized here. Apparently some states even have laws related to staying home alone, though we don't.

Age Guidelines ...

7 years and under:
Should not be left alone for any period of time. This may include leaving children unattended in cars, playgrounds, and backyards. The determining consideration would be the dangers in the environment and the ability of the caretaker to intervene.

8 to 10 years:
Should not be left alone for more than 1½ hours and only during daylight and early evening hours.

11 to 12 years:
May be left alone for up to 3 hours but not late at night or in circumstances requiring inappropriate responsibility.

13 to 15 years:
May be left unsupervised, but not overnight.

16 to 17 years:
May be left unsupervised (in some cases, for up to two consecutive overnight periods).

Originally Posted by lovely1m

I have been wondering about leaving Nicholas (almost 7) for a short bit while I go for a run. I asked him what he thought about it and he said it would be ok with that. Its so hard to get in running time and I need it.

Are there any kids in your neighborhood who could be a mother's helper while you run? Kids who are on the cusp of being old enough to babysit will sometimes do it for a lot less than older teens, and it sounds like you'll be reachable and running close to home if they needed you.

[Nixenkind]

I voted "10", but it's really hard to say. My eldest daughter is almost eleven, and she is super responsible- I can leave her alone without problems, but rarely do it, and then for 1-2 hours max, to run some errands. My second daughter (9) is a wild card: all confident at first, and then she gets massively scared and can't control it... before I return and find her in tears, I'd rather not do it. But: both girls are out and about in our 2,400-souls-village, on their own, visiting friends and stuff. And: my 11-year-old is responsible enough to take her brothers (6 and 4) to the playground, but mostly it's a combination of a), my daughter being so responsible, and b) my sons being very nice and obedient, so.... it's hard to give a general answer. But 10 sounds about right for me.

[lovely1m]

Are there any kids in your neighborhood who could be a mother's helper while you run? Kids who are on the cusp of being old enough to babysit will sometimes do it for a lot less than older teens, and it sounds like you'll be reachable and running close to home if they needed you.

We've only lived here a few months and just starting to meet people, but I haven't seen any much older than my son yet.

[SeattleSheri]

I have 9 and 6 year olds and they've never been left alone. My 9 year old is pretty responsible, but I don't think he could control the 6 year old, so .... not yet. I definitely think it depends on the kid, the circumstances and the duration of time. Right now, I'm thinking 11 or 12 maybe. I was babysitting by the time I was 12.

[lorryfach]

It definitely depends on the kid, and it definitely depends on the length of time. I think there's a huge difference between while I'm running to the corner store for milk and a whole afternoon, much less all day. If it's for more than a few minutes, I'd want to make sure the child is mature enough to remain calm and act appropriately in an emergency. If it's just a few minutes, then I'll be back really soon so it's not as much of an issue, yk? Then it's more just about being responsible enough not to do something really stupid just because I'm gone.

[Tronesia]

I agree that it depends on the child. When I was 11 and my nephew was 8, my mom started leaving us home while her, my dad and sister went to work during the day. My grandmother's friend lived up the street and she would keep an eye on the house and call my mom if anyone went to the door or if we were outside before she got home. We did not always get along but we had fun. It also helped that we were sleep most of the time she was gone (she had to be to work at 6am and was home by 3). If it were just me, she would not have left me there; they tried having a cousin stay with us who was about 15 yrs old but we were mad that she was eating up our snacks (lol!).

[joelsgirl]

Depends on the child. I leave my boys at home by themselves while I'm out in the neighborhood, and they're 5 and 8. I'd probably have left Jack at home by himself at 7 while I went running; he's not going anywhere, but his brother, NO. WAY. He'd totally decide to go look for me and freak out.

I can't imagine leaving them at home and actually driving somewhere. I can just picture all the things that could go wrong. I've been wondering about this lately, though. Jack would love to stay home by himself.

What about leaving them in the car while you go in the grocery store/ What age is that appropriate? I know my mom left me in the car all the time when I was a kid, but I feel sick at the thought.

[SmallMoments]

Yep, totally depends on the kid.

We just started leaving Luke at home alone during the day this year- he's 9. We aren't gone more than an hour and he can contact us via his iPad. We tell him not to go outside or to answer the door. He is one of those kids who doesn't like to get in trouble so he follows directions really well.

I'm not sure when we'll go for longer periods of time and/or night yet.

[MissKim]

Kellie, I also think of everything that could go wrong. We had a fire next door last week. What if I hadn't been home? What if my kids were younger and home alone? When my oldest two were in middle school, there was a tornado in the area at 4 pm. I was teaching a mile away, but I didn't get off duty until 4:20 and I was having to evacuate school buses and take kids to shelter. We live in a mobile home park and my kids were home alone... just for an hour. I had no way to contact my kids to tell them what to do. I just had to trust that they got themselves to the tornado shelter (and that my youngest, who was on the school bus, would get to the shelter as well).

So just things to think about. My current issue is when people say "It won't happen to us." Everyone thinks it won't happen to them... until it does. I'd err on the side of safety, I guess. No home alone when I'm unable to be reached and return home quickly until my kids are middle school aged.

[lauren grier]

I'm another depends on the child /other vote.
Connor is almost 10 and I have not left him alone-- I leave him IN the house alone to take out the trash, and I let him play in the yard alone-- but never actually alone alone. I trust him, but we have extenuating circumstances that make me just not feel comfortable with it, and I don't know when I will. In contrast, at his age I was home alone with my 6-7 year old brother for hours and hours- but those were different times and different circumstances.

[Sarah8914]

I could totally leave my 8 year old home alone... and probably even with my 6 year old. But they would be terrified to be alone if it was more than walking down the street. And I wouldn't leave them with the other little ones.

I used to leave my 4 year old (and she was 3 half the year) home alone with the sleeping 2 year old for 2-4 minutes when I walked down the street (4-5 houses) to pick up the others from school... but I could see my house the whole time. And well, that's much younger than 7. My oldest would have been fine alone at that age--if she wasn't afraid. If I can't see my house (a few times I have actually had to go up to the school), I fear the worst the whole way and usually run to keep it quick.

Kellie, I didn't know this, but apparently in the state of texas its a crime to leave children in the car if they are under 7 (unless someone older than 14 in is there as well). So I guess it depends on the laws where you are.

[lovely1m]

Kellie, I wondered about the car, too, but that seems scarier cause anyone could knock on the window to talk to the kid since they can see him alone. He's asked me many times to just wait in the car, but I've been making him get out and go with me no matter what.

[lauren grier]

Originally Posted by lovely1m

Kellie, I wondered about the car, too, but that seems scarier cause anyone could knock on the window to talk to the kid since they can see him alone. He's asked me many times to just wait in the car, but I've been making him get out and go with me no matter what.

there are a lot of laws about leaving kids in cars alone under x age.. that's frowned upon much more than home alone imo

[julifish]

When my oldest was 12 we started to let her stay at home for short periods of time by herself - like an hour or so while I ran to the store. Now that my youngest is 10 (almost) 11 and going in to Middle School I let her stay home for an hour or two alone. She's going to be getting off the school bus by herself in a few weeks and will need to be home alone for about 1 hour each day. I want her to be ready for that.

Heck at 12 I think I was babysitting other people's kids for hours (like 5) at a time.

[MommaTrish]

I won't be leaving Zach alone in charge of any of them, even though by his age I would be left in charge of my younger siblings or cousins for short periods of time. For starters Ryan's too close in age to Zach for Zach to watch him, and Ryan can be difficult. As for Bella and Mason, Zach wouldn't want to be in charge of them.

[carrie1977]

I hated being left in the car. I would have rather been left at home. LOL!

[Keely~B]

I'm another in the it depends camp. I let my oldest start testing the waters around 10, being home alone 20-30 minutes but no way would I have left her little sister with her at that point. Fast forward and my oldest is a great babysitter but her younger sister isn't as ready as she was to start testing the waters of short stays alone. ( well maybe SHE's ready but we're not, different kids and all that )

[jk703]

I'm in the depends. My oldest could handle it... probably about an hour.

BUT... I don't want to leave him with the younger brother, 5 years old... I am not comfortable with leaving that responsibility on his shoulders. What if something happened to the younger - both he and I would feel guilty.

Now, my youngest... can't even envision it yet. Nope. LOL!

[rach3975]

Originally Posted by joelsgirl

What about leaving them in the car while you go in the grocery store/ What age is that appropriate? I know my mom left me in the car all the time when I was a kid, but I feel sick at the thought.

Definitely another "it depends. " In general, I think it's okay if I'd be comfortable leaving my child outside in that spot for the length of time I'll be inside and they know how/when it's okay to get out. I don't think being in the car is any safer than being outside. But there are some exceptions. Our dry cleaner has a windowed front and parking right outside. From inside, I' m less than 10 feet from the car and can see the child inside the car the entire time. So I'll sometimes let my 4.5 year old wait in the car there, but no where else.

[Stacey42]

We recently left our 9 & 10 year old alone while we went out on an early dinner date. We were gone for about 90 minutes. It was glorious! We called them a couple of times to check in and they called us once for the same. They had rules to follow about not answering the door or going outside and they did great. They played Minecraft and stuffed themselves with cookies.

I've left the alone on other occasions for a half hour here & there, when I went for a run or needed something from the gas station market. My 9yo refuses to be left by himself, it's too scary for him but my 10yo will stay at home alone while I take his brother with me on short errands.

I leave them in the car from time to time depending on what i need to do & the temp outside. I won't leave them while I grocery shop but if I just need a gallon of milk or to pick up take out I will. I won't do it in the summer because I won't let them roll the windows down. They know they can't talk to anyone who approaches them and they are not to open the locked doors under any circumstances, unless it is a police officer who shows his badge.

[Leila]

I really think it depends on the child. While I believe that JP was capable and responsible enough to be home alone around age 9, he was also very timid and straight up afraid of a lot of things. We finally started leaving him home alone around 11½. When I was still working, he was home alone for 8+ hours a day, 2-3 days a week. He had his cell, our landline and could facetime me at any time if he had worries. He's 13½ now.

Devin (he's 10½), on the other hand, may never be left home ALONE. We've recently started leaving him here with JP, for a few hours. There's a very explicit list of do/don't expectations left on the refrigerator for him. With that, he's great. Without it, JP is calling is before we're out of the driveway.

One thing to check is what your state laws are; I know Ohio's aren't age specific, but some states have very age specific laws. Just something to look into!

[Beebo]

I voted other. It depends on the circumstance. I left my 3 kids in the car one time for about 15 minutes while I talked to some friends and I could see the kids from the porch. Next thing I know my car was on fire, inside! They had rolled the windows up and found some matches. We got them out and my oldest had a little burn on her ear but they were all right otherwise. I never left them alone again in the car! They were 5, 6, and 7. Oh my car was completely destroyed and the fire department was only a few blocks away. It took them about 30 minutes to get there.

[Milmomma]

I've left mine home alone to run down the block to get the mail (maybe 5-10 mins tops) and they are 6&8. This post says that they have to be at least 12 to be left home alone for 1-3 hours alone. They have to be 14 or older to watch younger siblings/be left home alone for more than 3 hours.
If this post didn't have such strict rules I could see leaving them alone for 20-30 mins at a time at this age. They are very smart and independent children that I know would keep in contact with me and follow my rules.

[maryinaz]

I was always more worried about something happening to ME (like a car accident, or getting detained somehow and I couldn't get back to them) while I left them more than something happening in the house.

We started leaving them alone at about 11-12 for not more than a couple of hours. The first time we left the oldest to babysit for about 4 hours was when he was 14. We did not do that often though.

[Shawna Clingerman]

Around here we started leaving the oldest alone when he was 10 - only for small things and usually in the day time (ie - in the summer when the younger ones had a playdate with another family of younger kids). At 13 we now leave him home with all the siblings for several hours - basically we worked up to that over the past year-ish.

It REALLY depends though I think - gareth has always been the kind of kid that could practically raise himself and he is a really thoughtful older brother, so it just made sense. We have another one at the 10 mark and it is sort of going the same way with him.

[Traci Reed]

Depends on the kid. I leave my 2 oldest alone for a couple hours at a time if we go to the gym or out to dinner, Karsten is 9 and Jo is 7. I wouldn't leave Jo home alone and I'm not sure if I'll feel he's responsible enough at 9 either...he's much less responsible than Karsten. I won't leave Finn home with them any time soon either.

[nun69]

I am another one for depending on the kid.....Abby and Ben totally...Sam even got herself up and dressed and walked to the bus in 2nd grade (but we did live in base housing so she walked with all the neighborhood kids to the bus stop)......Sam (20) has pretty much always stayed with them if needed and if she wasn't available then some kind of daycare.....but Peyton...NEVER EVER EVER....you can't even take your eyes off of him when he is like 2 feet from you....But Abby is Nic's age and she could totally be ok at home and she would know what to do in an emergency situation as well....I would recommend (if you can) to get him a phone and take yours with you, so if he really needed something he could call you

[lovely1m]

He does have an iPod Touch and could FaceTime. I actually just thought of that, it had worried me before, not having a house phone.

[nun69]

Mari I think if he could facetime you in an instance, that would be perfect! and I am not sure if you are in a house or an apartment complex, but I would certainly make sure he knows where to go in case of fire....

[scrapweaver]

I voted other . . definately depends on the child, and the circumstances. I couldnt leave my kids at home by themselves for too long - I have left my girls (5, 10 and 16) at home while I go to the shop, maybe 20min tops. The oldest is very bossy with the younger ones, especially if she thinks she's 'in charge' so I cant really leave them unsupervised for long. I cant leave the 16 year old at home alone for any length of time as she would just eat her way through the cupboards *sigh* the joys

[scrapweaver]

Originally Posted by lovely1m

He does have an iPod Touch and could FaceTime. I actually just thought of that, it had worried me before, not having a house phone.

Just saw this - what an great idea!!!

[Milmomma]

Originally Posted by lovely1m

He does have an iPod Touch and could FaceTime. I actually just thought of that, it had worried me before, not having a house phone.

Mine both have ipods thats how they chat with me while gone. They can imessage or facetime me. They have to check in every 10 minutes if I'm not around. Every hour if they are at a friend's house. I don't think either need a full phone right now, so this is a great compromise.

[lovely1m]

Just cause I mentioned to him earlier trying it, today he says, I can just stay home by myself mom, all day, I will be fine. lol Umm, no, child.

[navaja77]

I have not left my kids home alone yet. I do remember as a kid, my mom left me home alone with my younger siblings when I was about 9 or 10 but she had no other choice (no babysitter and she needed to go to night classes). However, my aunt and uncle lived next door so she told them we were home alone. I did not like it but then again, I was a timid child but responsible.

My sister leaves her kids home alone when she runs to the store and they are 11, 5 and 3. My 11 year old nephew is mature beyond his years. As for my son, I don't think he is ready to tackle being alone with his feisty sister. I think he needs to grow up a little more. Plus, I don't live where my parents live and don't really know my neighbors.

In hindsight, I think that's why my mom felt it was okay to leave us home alone when we had family and neighbors we knew living nearby.

[Lukasmummy]

Lukas is 11 in 2 weeks time, we have been leaving him home alone since just before his 10th birthday while we go shopping. We started doing it because he was such a PITA when we took him, it's never for more than 60-90 minutes and we could be home in 10 minutes if we had to be. To be honest Lukas is too lazy to get himself in trouble. We have lots of rules about what he can and can't do while we are out, and he always follows them, to the point where when I accidentally left my keys at home he wouldn't answer the door to me and I had to ring Mark to come home from work with his lol. He usually sits on my computer or up in his room watching youtube videos until we get back.

[MommaTrish]

I should point out my little brother is 20 and my mom still doesn't willingly leave him in the house alone. lol She'll call me or my older brother and ask us to find excuses to go to the house.

[Penny Springmann]

We have started to let the boys stay home alone for an hour or two. They are 10 and 8. However, they have strict rules. They may not go outside, etc. They are both really good, though, no rule breakers here. Plus, our neighbors across the street are always home, so if they need an adult immediately, they know they can call them.

[nesser1981]

I said 10, I'd trust Keira (8) now and Cooper(5) for that matter, with Keira. They are usually up a couple hours before me and Harper, like they get up at 7, and I get up around 9. Sean feeds them before he leaves for work and they play in the basement or their rooms. I wouldn't leave them for long periods. But Cooper would be scared.

When I was 9, stayed all day by myself, and I loved it! LOL!

I've left them in the car, only if I can see the car from where I'm at. Like if I had to run into walgreens or the post office. But my van, you can take the keys out, lock it and turn it back on. I've only done that because Harper is so dang heavy for just 5 minutes in and out of somewhere.

I've never left them at home alone though. And probably won't anytime soon.

[kscwgirl]

I couldn't leave J home alone for any length of time. Ever. He's 7. I could leave Abby here but wouldn't.