Large Families

[LeeAndra]

I've been on FB more than usual this week with the new changes and reading people's statuses more than usual. It led me to thinking abt small families vs. large families. [Let's define large families as families with 4 or more children.]

I'm finally getting into a rhythm with DD where she knows what to do if we need to eat, bathe, take a nap, leave the house, etc. I feel like I know approximately how much time and effort it's going to take to get her to do XYZ, and I feel reasonably confident that I could handle an emergency or out of the ordinary situation if it came up and still get the task or errand done in the time it needed to be done in.

...And then I think abt those of you who have several children, and I wonder how on earth you get anywhere with your children fed, pottied/changed, dressed, and well rested! *lol* I just can't wrap my brain around the logistics of having to be in charge of a team of little high strung humans who need me to fulfill their every need right now.

To those of you with large families, how do you do it?! How did you decide to have 4 or more kids? Do you wish you had more or less? What's your favorite part of having a large family? Your least favorite part? What surprised you the most abt having a large family?

To those of you with smaller families, did imagining the logistics of a larger family make you decide to stop at 3 or less? *lol* Do you wish you had decided to go with a large family?

[nun69]

hahahaha I can totally answer this as my kids range from 18 to 4 LMAO!

To those of you with large families, how do you do it?! you just do...I learned early on, since I was in the Navy when ALL of my kids were born to get everything together the night before!or you end up forgetting to sign somebody's homework, forget a pair of shoes or even forget a kid!!! and yes these have all happened...(my husband forgot my teenager one day last year and totally just left the house without her!!!!)
How did you decide to have 4 or more kids? well we didn't REALLY decide to have any of them, they kist kinda happened
Do you wish you had more or less?I LOVE them all, but I really wish I would have stopped at 2 beacuse it is so hard to do anythgin as a family that interest all of my kids because of their age differences What's your favorite part of having a large family? they all have such great and different personalities that make them who they are and by having 4 kids we became the Miller 6 Pack
Your least favorite part?so hard to do things that interest them all...and it cost way more to have 4 than 2!
What surprised you the most abt having a large family?how much I would love them all and how much they each bring to our family with their individual personalities and uniqueness

[scrapweaver]

I also have 4 kids - and also range in age from 18 to 4!!!!!

It just kinda happened that way, but we do know that 4 is definately enough. Also three out of the four have ASD so that just adds to the mix!! It is hard, as in having no time to yourself, I think that is why I am such a night owl (even though that means I get less sleep!!) It is full on, but I feel like I've had kids forever as I had my first at 17 . . my kids are all 4/5 years apart so it was like one went off to school and I then I would have another one, not that I planned it that way. I was basically a stay at home mum (and single mum for awhile too) until my oldest was about 16, my youngest was 3 - at that point I felt that I had had enough so to speak, I NEEDED to get out and work and have a bit of a life. So now it's a challenge, I am lucky that my hubby stays at home with the kids while I work. It is a nuisance for transport, but other than that it's good. What I love about it is that each birthday, christmas etc is so much fun as we have a large family, presents and love and wrapping paper mess and all!! Also if we go visit anyone it's like an instant party once we show up hahahaha.

[Traci Reed]

From my own experience, I would say that a large family is anything over 2...the change from 2 to 3 was dramatic..LOL

[maryinaz]

To those of you with large families, how do you do it?! When I had the twins I also had a 3 year old and a 6 year old. All my boys were very good, easy-going children, so that helped a lot. I never had any assistance with the twins - my mom lives 1300 miles away and my MIL was just not able to help. So I just somehow worked it all out. The twins had to be super flexible. If they were napping when it was time to pick up the oldest from school, I just scooped them out of their cribs and put them in their car seats and they just dealt with it. As they got older, they had to continue to be flexible as we went to sports/school events, etc. for the older boys. It does take a certain amount of organization to meet all their needs. The start of a new school year is always THE most hectic time of the year! My DH always has helped out quite a bit also.

How did you decide to have 4 or more kids? Ha! We didn't decide, God did. I had had 3 miscarriages besides my 2 first boys and I had decided I was done. Two months after the last one, before I could get back on birth control, I got pregnant with the twins. We were lucky that we already had a vehicle and house big enough for 2 more children.

Do you wish you had more or less? Not really. Very, very rarely I wish I had a girl. But I was just convinced that if we had anymore it would be another set of twin boys (my mom had 2 sets of twins besides me) - yikes! Now that we are in the most expensive time of our lives with college, drivers, bigger appetites, bigger clothes, I am very thankful we stopped at 4.

What's your favorite part of having a large family? We get a lot of attention for having 4 boys and I love it. The twins are best friends and always have each other as a playmate. With them being the youngest, after they got older, it really made my life easier. For a houseful of boys, we rarely have a problem with fighting.

Your least favorite part? As stated above, the expense, and being very limited on what type of vehicle we could purchase that would fit all of us.

What surprised you the most about having a large family? We weren't surprised. DH and I both come from large families so we assumed we would have one also. What surprised me most was all my miscarriages and that I might have been forced to stop at 2.

[rach3975]

Those of you handling larger families with grace have my awe and admiration! Just keeping up with 3 is kicking my butt.

Mentally, I found the hardest transition for me was going from 1 child to 2. With 1 child life can revolve around that child's schedule, you can meet their needs right away, and there's time to play with them and focus on them. I think there's a special bond or partnership that's different in a 1 on 1 relationship than in a multiple kid family.

When I had my 2nd, there was a while when I felt like I was depriving both boys. I didn't have as much time for either of them, there was no way to work around any 1 child's schedule to the extent I wanted to, and I felt like that partnership with my oldest was damaged. IMO they did lose out on something by having to share me, but they gained something worth more by having each other. It was a good 6 months to a year before I was really happy as a mom of 2, because it took that long until they were old enough for their relationship as brothers to take off.

The change from 2 to 3 was much easier, at least when my youngest was an infant. It's when she became a toddler that I started finding 3 kids hard. Some of it may be my personal situation. My middle child has special needs that affect his behavior, preventing him from being as independent as most 5 year olds are. He still throws tantrums, runs away in public places, needs help dressing himself, etc. So sometimes I feel like I have a 7 year old and 2 year old twins.

DH and I debated for a long time whether to stop at 2 or go for a 3rd. In the end, it's the fact that 1 and 2 were both boys that helped me convince him to have a 3rd. I love them all and am so glad to have 3, but there's no way I'd choose to have 4. Every time I see someone with an infant, I think, "Aww! But I'm so glad that's not me." I'm happy with the stage we're in, and things are finally starting to get a little easier as they get older. I have no desire to go back and start over with a 4th!

[Kara]

I agree with Traci on the transition from 2 to 3. I had 3 children ages 4 and under and it was tough for awhile! Now that my youngest is 2, I just feel like the fog is finally lifting ... But I wouldn't have done it any other way.

[Janet Phillips]

To those of you with large families, how do you do it?! One day at a time Honestly, I don't think I could have done it at first, but with each one, you learn to adjust. You learn tricks of how to do things with lots of little people, you learn adjust and make things work. THe hardest (and yet most important) thing to learn is just that IT WILL TAKE TIME. Doing it well means giving up a lot of my wants and my desires. But the thing is, these are my short-term wants. My long-term desires make all the short-term sacrifices worth it. I give up a lot (time, financial, emotional, etc) but to know that I am putting into these five little people keeps me motivated. I also have an INCREDIBLY helpful husband. He's amazing, really ENJOYS being with his kids, and is supportive of me. That helps a lot!

How did you decide to have 4 or more kids? We both came from families of 4 and so always assumed we would have that many. After #4, we weren't sure what we wanted to do. Having 4 kids age 5 and under, plus living overseas, was a lot. We waited longer and then just decided to see what happened. And now as #5 is laying next to me, kicking her legs and smiling at me, I am so glad we had her.


Do you wish you had more or less? I think we'll have more. Whether by birth, adoption, or both, we just don't feel like this is "it" for us. It can be mind-numbing hard at times, but I believe in what I am doing and see eternal value in building into little people.

What's your favorite part of having a large family? My favorite part, by far, is seeing my kids be together. I didn't have a good relationship with my siblings growing up and so we have spent a lot of time and energy working to help them build good relationships with each other. They really LOVE each other. They have their moments, but they are few and far between. Most of the time, they are playing together, looking out for one another, making surprises for each other, and building one another up. To have my 7 year old put his arm around his 5 year old brother after a soccer game and say, "You did a great job! I can't believe you beat me!" was a very happy mommy moment for me.

Your least favorite part? As an introverted mama, it is very hard for me to have constant -- and I do mean CONSTANT -- talking. With 5 kids age 8 and under, there is always someone needing to say something. Sometimes I just go into sensory overload. But I remind myself that this is a short-term issue -- one day I will love us all being together, drinking coffee, all talking and laughing.

What surprised you the most about having a large family? Everyone said that when you are "done" you'll just "know" it. I kept waiting for that moment when I would feel like I didn't want anymore. But other than a few brief moments, I have never felt like we were "done." Honestly, I can't even imagine never having a little one again. According to the theory, I guess I'm not "done."

And pictures like this don't hurt, either

[gypsystar]

To those of you with large families, how do you do it?! It's been hard, I won't lie. Just as soon as I think I have figured Sophie out, something changes. She's been a wild card. Having 3 boys before her felt like a big family, not huge but big. Having 4 feels HUGE to me. Going places is really, really hard because of our specific situation. My 8 year old has special needs and is unable to walk without assistance, so he either needs help walking, his wheelchair or to be carried (and he's HEAVY). I pretty much don't go out alone right now unless it's an absolute necessity. I'm trying to make myself but so far I can't bring myself to do it LOL! Our day to day life at home varies but we are trying to find our new rhythm. Naps are sacred. Going from 2-3 was also hard for me but more so because #3 was a very difficult baby - who has accordingly turned into a very difficult 3 year old LOL. So for now, we are in survival mode.

How did you decide to have 4 or more kids? I've always wanted 4 which seems insane to me now LOL. For a long time I thought we were done with 3 b/c #3 was such a difficult child. Eventually he got a little easier and I thought I was ready to go for our caboose.

Do you wish you had more or less? Yes, both LOL. Sometimes I wish I had less which makes me feel guilty. I love all of them more than life and I wouldn't choose not have any of them but sometimes I think about how much easier things could be with less. On the same note, I sometimes fantasize about having just one more. I know I couldn't handle another right now, for sure. But I have this lingering though, what if, in a few years...maybe. It's highly unlikely we'll have another but it's something I think about even as overwhelming as life can be. It's also amazingly wonderful.

What's your favorite part of having a large family? It's hard to articulate. I definitely feel more complete. There is never a dull moment. I love taking them all places (with Tim's help, of course LOL). We get so many compliments on them and people always comment about finally getting a girl. The sibling dynamic between them has been fun to watch. They really have each other's backs.

Your least favorite part? Feeling so overwhelmed right now. It's hard when they are all this young. I read somewhere a quote about parenting young children being like guerilla warfare and most days it feels totally true around here LOL. I'm in the trenches. I feel like I barely have time to think sometimes. It's just go, go, go, do, do, do! I know as everyone gets older it will feel less like this.

What surprised you the most abt having a large family? As overwhelming as it is, and having a lot moments where I feel satisfied with 4, I still think about having another. I wonder if it ever goes away. I can't say anything has really surprised me about day to day life with 4 so far.

[VillageJen]

To those of you with large families, how do you do it?! It's like lifting weights. When you're bench-pressing ten pounds (one child) the idea of pressing 50 pounds is overwhelming. But you don't add another 40 pounds at once... you do it in ten pound increments. At first you feel your muscles strain a bit but you get stronger and adapt to the new weight. Then you add on ten more pounds.

How did you decide to have 4 or more kids? We didn't begin our marriage thinking we would have six children... or even more than two. The desire for each additional child developed as we grew in our love of our family and our faith. We began to recognize that children are a blessing... to us, each other and to society, in general.

Do you wish you had more or less? I wish so much that we could have more. I'm 41 now and really struggle with postpartum depression issues. At this point, it doesn't seem prudent to upset the apple cart. We're not shutting any doors, though, so maybe in a couple of years we'll be blessed with another.

What's your favorite part of having a large family? The abundance of every good thing. Laughter is multiplied... hugs are multiplied... extra hands to dust my house are multiplied. And these relationships will endure forever.

Your least favorite part? So many more opportunities to have your heart broken. We got through one ruptured appendix with a child who received Last Rites and then two years later our baby was hospitalized with a massive kidney infection. I want all of my children to be perfectly healthy and happy and I've learned that it's not always in my control.

What surprised you the most about having a large family? How easy it is. I'm an only child and I'd see big families and think, "Holy cow, that looks so hard!". Now I feel guilty when people say, "I don't know how you do it." I want to let them think I'm this awesome Super Mama, but really, in many ways it's easier having more helpers in house. And they keep me laughing!

P.S. I should point out that it gets easier when the older children get school-age. When I had a bunch under the age of six I often wanted to jump out of my bedroom window. Spacing and pacing is my OB's motto.

[deepounds]

Eventhough it IS a lot of work, I envy those of you with large families. Dave & I stopped at two only because Amanda was so ill as an infant that when we finally got her healthy, we decided not to press our luck. But I grew up in a family of 8 kids, and except for the fact that we were awfully poor, it was absolutely wonderful (and NEVER boring!)

I know it can be overwhelming at times, but my parents always insisted that the good more than outweighs the bad - and so do all my friends with large families of their own. And I can't even begin to explain how marvelous it is as the kids grow into adulthood - my siblings and I are all still very close & I can't imagine my life without them - then or now!

Absolutely LOVE the pictures, by the way, ladies!

[nanienamou]

Originally Posted by Traci Reed

From my own experience, I would say that a large family is anything over 2...the change from 2 to 3 was dramatic..LOL

Yep, this! When I had only one kid, he was spotless, well dressed, etc. Now that I have three, I find that I don't have time to stress about the small things. You lean to pick you battles, lol!

[heathergw]

Originally Posted by Traci Reed

From my own experience, I would say that a large family is anything over 2...the change from 2 to 3 was dramatic..LOL

this... especially since Mark and I are now out numbered LOL... it's no longer, you take care of this one while I take care of that one LOL

[Emmy]

I logged in to reply, just for you L.

To those of you with large families, how do you do it?!

I try to be organized, rotate the areas of the house or life where I'm putting my attention, and train my kids to do for themselves and help out with household responsibilities.

Adding them in one by one you figure it out. You find your new normal, your new rhythm each time. And while it may seem overwhelming to imagine my life as compared to yours, you have to remember that I don't have 6 kids Eliana's age that I'm trying to get out the door. As the new babies come the older ones can take on more personal responsibility *and* provide more help overall. Right now if I'm leaving the house I tell everybody - get shoes, go potty, brush hair, etc. I only have to do these things for the 2 youngest - and if I need help, I can always ask my 11yo or 9yo (carry the diaper bag to the car, find Hazel's shoes, fill up the water bottles and hand them out, etc). I am not in this alone - not everything has to be done by me personally. And really, my younger kids fall into routine more easily because they see the older kids doing it. It's more hectic, but probably not as hard as you might think.

Probably the biggest change in my life has been the selflessness that I've had to embrace as a mama of 6. I have far far less personal time than I did when I had 2 or 3 (or even 4) kids. I've managed to adjust each time, and the benefits of adding to our family have certainly outweighed the time I used to be able to spend on myself.


How did you decide to have 4 or more kids?


We just always said we wanted 4. We wanted to have a bunch of kids to play with, laugh with, go through life together. We had this vision of all the fun we'd have and the relationships they would have. The conversation of having less never came up until after #3. We did pause then - primarily because my pregnancies had been so difficult and because it was hard to ramp ourselves up for another long stage of difficult pregnancy/newborn stage/finding our footing - it takes a long time for us to find that new normal. In the end, we did have #4 and it was awesome. And of course in the END end, we had our surprise twinkies that were the icing on the cake for our large family. I love having 6.

Do you wish you had more or less?

I can't imagine wishing I had less. As for more, no I feel total contentment that our family is complete.

What's your favorite part of having a large family?

It's always a party even if it's just us! I love that the kids have built in best friends, I love the relationships they have with each other and knowing in adulthood that they will have each other.

Your least favorite part?

Cost of hotel rooms, people assuming I'm someone that I'm not just because I have 6 kids (and homeschool!). Oh - and the laundry. I really struggle with keeping up with the laundry.

End note: go for it L, God really does give you the strength, wisdom, and grace you need.

[breakingbrie]

I fall into the small family here. I just have my twins. I'll admit, right up till I got pregnant, I was one who always had thought I didn't want kids... Not sure if that has anything to do with why I don't want any more, but when I think of having more, I get a dizzy/panicky feeling.

I love us 4 together. It works for us. I'm seriously amazed by all of you with so many kids!! I don't know how you do it

[lovely1m]

I have 1 child and am so happy that way. My ex and I were never sure we even wanted more than 1 child and now that I am a single mom, I am very happy with just 1 child. Life is so much easier with just the two of us then if I had more. That's not to say I would rule out a second child if my current situation changed (I am not saying find a new husband cuz thats not what I mean, what I mean is more money and less crappy work hours). Maybe when I come back from overseas in 2013, I will see where life takes me, but never more than 2 kids.

[Sarah8914]

how do you do it?!
There have been a LOT of great comments about all of this! You really do just learn to adjust each time. And hopefully they come one at a time and it's not as bad. My kids are GREAT helpers (even just with the oldest two being almost 5 and 7). They take care of themselves as far as getting ready goes and they help me, just like Emmy was saying. You take each day at a time. Teach your kids while young that certain behaviors aren't okay and all sorts of other things... and then it's not as big a battle later because they already know. You just keep trying, and praying for help. I know everyone is totally different, but for me, the biggest adjustment has always been 0 to 1. Having a newborn was SO hard for me. Now, I think it's only easier because of experience and you adapt and change as needed.

How did you decide to have 4 or more kids?
(we have 4 right now). I came from a family with 6 kids and my hubby has 4 in his. So we always knew we wanted a big family. I always wanted 6-8 when I was younger but once I had my first, I didn't think I could even make it to 6.... but I knew I wanted at 4-5 still. But, we decided to just take it one baby at a time and not have a set number "for sure."

Do you wish you had more or less?
I never wish I had less, I LOVE having a big family. I've known I wanted 5 for quite awhile... and my littlest (5 months), has REALLY made me enjoy motherhood and having a baby that I think I want 6 now... Plus, I would love another baby girl, but I'd also love for him to have a brother now... so, I might as well give both a chance right?

What's your favorite part of having a large family?
Everything everyone already said. I LOVE them having little friends and playmates all the time. I LOVE seeing them together, playing together and happy. I love doing things all together with the family. I love my relationship with my siblings and hope that my kids can have the same through their whole lives! I love all the smiles and new adventures. I absolutely LOVE seeing how much they adore each new baby. I love all their sweet personalities and how much they add to our family. I also love having our kids close together (about 2 years apart). They are GREAT friends and we hope to still be young when we're done!

Your least favorite part?
I think the only thing that's hard for me is planning "life" around babies. We have family reunions and this year, planned our baby in time for him to be a good age for the reunion (that ended up getting postponed). We might have the same problem again in a few years. Or planning family trips... I don't like to travel with little babies. Or even just day trips and things... there's always a sleeping and/or nursing baby to work around. With #4, I had to accept the fact that now is not the season in my life for me to do all the crafts and sewing that I want to. I've had to let go. Fortunately, I'm not as sad about that as I thought I would be. Knowing that I will get the chance later helps, just now is not the time. Now is the time for me to be the best mother for my kids that I can!

What surprised you the most abt having a large family?
Nothing really... having come from a large family. I guess maybe how I feel like my heart is going to explode with the love and gratitude I have for my wonderful amazing husband and children. Really, I often get overcome with emotion and can't believe how blessed we are!

[glumirk]

My MIL gave me wise advice: When you have one child, you spend all of your time taking care of them. When you have seven children (which she does) you spend all of your time taking care of them. I've also heard that 3 or 4 is as hard as it gets.

I've got a 2 year old and a 4 month old. The 2 yo is the hard one.

[adrianka]

I totally admire anybody who has a large family. I think it's a wonderful thing, to be a "full-time mother" (so to speak), if you have it in you. I sometimes wish I was that kind of person, but right now I can hardly imagine having even one child, so I bow before people who have 4+ children.

[misfitinmn]

I also would like to bow down to the mommas of 3 or more children! I find myself pressed to my limit with my two, and I know that will get easier with time since the little is only just about 4 months old. We are quite sure we are done, I have lingering thoughts about a third but it scares me to be outnumbered, honestly! This has been a fun thread to read!

[pewtertm]

To those of you with smaller families, did imagining the logistics of a larger family make you decide to stop at 3 or less? *lol* Do you wish you had decided to go with a large family?

Rachel is my only child, and unless God plays a big old joke on us, she will stay our only child Why...
1. Money...we have a tight budget and can't really afford another child.
2. DH is old...er. He's 58, I'm 40, and even if we had another child now, DH would be in his late 70s when the kid would graduate...assuming he lives that long.
3. I was in L&D with Rachel for 43 hours...it was not pretty and I let him know then and there that he'd best get himself neutered ASAP.

We've both wished at times we had another child, but for reasons 1 & 2, we both know it's best to not have another. Even though Rachel is now praying for a 'baby brudder'...as I said, she's not getting one unless God intervenes

[Lyd]

This is a really interesting thread. I've enjoyed reading everyone's responses. My fourth child is only six weeks old, so we are in the adjustment phase still--figuring out our new normal.

How do you do it?!
Yep - just like everyone said - if the babies came four at a time, I would have gone insane. (I mean let's face it - I come pretty close to insane when they come one at a time.) But, you really do just take it one day at a time and figure it out. The older kids learn to be a little more independent or to wait for things when you can't get to them right away because you're handling something else with one of the other children. It IS busy, and it's NOT a walk in the park. Some days are really, really hard. But, some days are hard no matter how many kids you have.

How did you decide to have 4 or more kids?
DH comes from a family with five kids. I come from a family with seven. I always loved being from a large family and thought I wanted a big family as well - not seven kids, but at least five. DH always kind of leaned toward having four. But, we really did just take it one at a time. Our #2 baby was really difficult, and we had a rough time after he was born. We knew we would have another, but there's a little bit of a bigger gap between #2 and #3. After #3 was born, we were definitely in wait-and-see mode. And, after a while, we both agreed that we would have one more. But, that's it for us. I'm 38 now, and this last pregnancy really took a toll on my body, and I just can't do it again. Plus, we really do feel like we've hit our mental, emotional, physical, and financial limit with the four kids that we have.

Do you wish you had more or less?
I don't wish I had less, but I do wish for less noise every now and then. I love all my kids and I love their unique personalities. I love watching them grow up together and build relationships with each other. Our oldest two are boys and the younger two are girls, so that kind of works out nice, in that each child has a buddy pretty close in age and of the same gender.

What's your favorite part of having a large family?
The sibling relationships FOR SURE! My siblings are my best, best friends and they have been since I was a kid. Of course, we had the times when we didn't get along so well, and I had one brother in particular that I really didn't enjoy until we were a little older. But, my sisters were my best friends through my teenage years, and I so want that for my kids. I love watching their relationships develop. I love watching them take care of each other. And, I look forward to the day when the bickering will end.

Your least favorite part?
It does get chaotic, and everything takes a lot of planning. There's very little you can do spur of the moment - especially with a newborn.

What surprised you the most about having a large family?
Not much. Every kid is different and will bring new surprises. But, I knew that having a large family was loud and a little bit crazy, so there were no surprises there.

One thing that I think is really important is that every family is different. Everyone has to make their own decision about the size of their family. If one or two is all you can/want to handle, then that's how many you should have. If you want six and you have the resources to take care of six kids, then by all means, go for it. There have been times when I've felt a little insecure about only having 3 or 4 kids. I come from a family of seven, so three or four actually feels a little bit small to me. I have three siblings with six kids, and one of those will probably have one more. But, I know that for my family, we are at the point where it wouldn't be good for us as parents or for the kids for us to have more. We have found the right number for our family.

[carriesmom]

I'm another momma to a small family, just my two girls. We decided on just two for many reasons...

Finances: we didn't want to have to pinch every penny just to get by. With two, we are comfortable (things are still tight).
Age: DH is 13 years older than me and already had a 18 year old daughter when we had our first. He didn't want to have kids later in life.
Health: I had some difficult pregnancies with morning sickness, pre-eclampsia, and anemia. I had to be induced with both my girls and I wasn't wanting to go through all of that again.

But I will say that I love people who have large families, it works for many people. It all comes down to what is right for your family.

[Angie4b1g]

In short: You get over yourself and let A. LOT. of stuff go. If their clothes don't match or their hair isn't brushed, meh whatever. I can't sweat the small stuff.

(I have 5 kids)

[nun69]

Originally Posted by Angie4b1g

In short: You get over yourself and let A. LOT. of stuff go. If their clothes don't match or their hair isn't brushed, meh whatever. I can't sweat the small stuff.

OMG...this in a NUTSHELL!!!!!!!!

[mrspotts]

Hey LA!!! I know you said four or more being big but you would not believe the looks I get here in the South that I have three. My age be part of it, considering I've been asked three times in the last month if I am there nanny. Anyway, I thought I would answer your questions anyway!

To those of you with large families, how do you do it?!
For me it is all about scheduling. If I can get my day lined up the night before and I know what to expect things go MUCH more smoothly. Are things still chaotic? Yup! But I know at least feel like I have a bit of control over most of the day. Also by having a few things structured the kids begin to know what to expect and they respond more positively to what is coming next. {ie bedtime!}

How did you decide to have 4 or more kids?
I came from a family of 3, and always hated that I was the youngest and by quite a few years. But that was the hand my mom was dealt, so I got over it and decided I would have a large family to make up for it. Growing up I always have wanted 10 kids. Hubby came from a family of 7 and enjoys his large family. When we got married we discussed our ideals of a family and settled on 6+. Right now we are taking it one at a time to see if we can even get to 6. {I miscarry a lot} If we do get to six we'll see if that feels "done", if not we will have more. Will I get my 10 kids? Probably not but we are working our way there.

Do you wish you had more or less?
Currently more, and I know I will never want less.

What's your favorite part of having a large family?
I love seeing the interaction between all of them. It melts my heart to see one of them do something nice for the other. I also love that they will always have a friend in their sister or brother.

Your least favorite part?
The noise!!! My girls have LOUD BOISTEROUS voices. With only three I have a hard time hearing my husband over them, or even hearing one over the other. It is something we are working on since it is going to get worse as we add more. I can't tell you how much I treasure nap time when there is absolute silence. Ahhhhh!!!!

What surprised you the most about having a large family?
The stares, questions, and whisperings. I wasn't prepared for those things to happen, and since I'm a self-conscious person it has been a bit difficult for me. I said it in the beginning that I get stared at a lot for having three kids. I can only imagine that things are going to get worse as I have more children.

And here are my lovely girls....

[mummytothree]

How do you do it?! You just do it...you have no other choice. If I don't do it and hubby doesn't do it...then if won't get done. It helps that I love my kids with all my heart and that makes it easy, you learn to get into a groovy and everything just clicks...there are times and days it doesn't, there are times that everything falls apart and everyone is crying and whining including me and for those times and days god made ice cream, chocolate and booze!!!

How did you decide to have 4 or more kids? Well I come from a family with 6 kids, but DH only has a sister....we never discussed how many kids we wanted...we just would get the urge to have a baby and we would get preggers. I did feel like I was done after baby #4, but god had other ideas and blessed us with #5 and I can't imagine not having him. Hubby is definitely DONE.....I think I am too...but I've had a baby in the house for 13 years...I think I'll always have a touch of baby fever!!!

Do you wish you had more or less? I'd never wish for less...I can't imagine not having any of my little sweeties, and as I said up above I think I'll always have a touch of baby fever, but I don't think I'll ever have another baby....we are finally at that stage where everyone is getting independent and we have a good routine down... I don't want to mess it up by adding in another newborn. Of course we have had a few surprise babies...so you just never know!!!

What's your favorite part of having a large family? I'm not sure I can answer this since I have no idea what it would be like to have a "small family", Yes my kids have great relationships, but that's not because we have 5 kids...that's because we have taught them the importance of family. Yes my kids have "playmates", but when I only had 2 kids they still had a playmate. I guess my favorite thing is I have these 5 little beings that : god has entrusted me with I am responsible for their health and well being, I get to shape and mold them into adults that are going to make an impact in this world and help grow it and shape it and make it a better place for others.

Your least favorite part? I guess it would be probably the noise and the messes. I swear I have to sweep and vacuum 4 or 5 time a day...it's crazy!!!

What surprised you the most about having a large family? Nothing really since I grew up in a large family!!! But if I had to name one thing that surprises me it's that people are surprised at how well behaved my children are, it actually stuns some people....it's like they think my kids should be some type of wild untamed beasts just because there are 5 of them!!!