Survival kit (NSBR)

[adi&co.]

I have a friend whose hubby is gone for a year and I wanted to bring her something fun to let her know I was thinking of her and help her "survive". Anyone have any suggests on what to put into a "daddy's gone survival kit"?? She's got 4 kids. The oldest is 12 and the youngest is 5. Any suggestions would be welcomed!

[clearskies]

Ugh. My DH just got back from a one year this spring... What's your budget and how far away does she live?

[adi&co.]

My budget isn't all that big. She lives just down the street from me! You'd think with how often my hubby has been gone from us that I would be an expert at this, but I just can't think of anything!

[clearskies]

The thing I wanted the absolute most was someone to take my kiddos, even for a bit. I missed being able to run errands alone, or just sit in a quiet house.

Next up would be invitations to come over to dinner...especially on Sunday nights...weekends were sometimes long.

[jacinda]

Does she have family support nearby? When my hubby went away for 6 months the thing I most appreciated was some 'me' time every couple of weeks. Luckily my parents only live an hour away, so I'd send the kids to them for a weekend.

Maybe you could offer to have the kids every Thursday afternoon (or whatever day suits) say from 3-7pm. Mum could come pick them up in time for bed. She'd have regular time for herself that she could plan for ahead of time, and she wouldn't have to worry about feeding the kids that day. You could make it a weekly thing or a fortnightly thing, or a monthly thing.

If you have enough bed space I'd offer each month to have the kids sleepover for a night. I like the dinner invitation idea too.

[jacinda]

Ooh, I have another idea. Is she a scrapbooker? You could offer to take weekly/monthly family photos for her to send to him. Or create an album of the things they do when he's away. Have her send you photos every week, put them into a simple block style layout. She or the kids could provide journalling once the page is almost finished. Have her print the layouts every few months, or send them digitally to hubby so he's included in the family activities. That's something my husband liked the most when he was away.

[adi&co.]

Oh cute ideas Jacinda!

Amy I love the idea of giving her some babysitting coupons that she can cash in with me to watch her kids whenever she needs it.

Thanks ladies!

[jacinda]

If someone gave me babysitting coupons, I'd probably not use them as often as I should, because I'd feel like I'm imposing. If however, that person said "I AM going to look after you kids once a week/fortnight/month, let's set the dates now, no backing out", then I'd know she was determined and I'd feel more comfortable setting up something. That's just me though. Military families here are pretty bad at asking for help, we feel like we can do it all (even though that's not really true).

Just something to think of anyway.

[adi&co.]

I have no idea what my schedule is going to be looking like in the next little bit. We go to a lot of therapies for my boys and once we add piano back in and start school half days, my schedule is going to be a mess. I'd hate to give her a date and time and then not be able to follow through. It would be better than I give her coupons and then tell her she needs to use them until she does, haha

[adi&co.]

Originally Posted by tx-nana-scraps

Can your hubby watch all the kids for a couple of hours in the evening so you could take her out to dinner or movie or a spa/beauty salon?

Hahaha I don't know if I would ever do that to my hubby. My kids crazy and her kids are the climbing on the walls type. That would make 7 kids running around the house like crazy people. It's something I'm use to dealing with, but not him! I'll leave the taking her out for a girlfriend night to her other friends!

[~Cindy~]

Wine? Time alone cards for an hour or two break a week. Maybe even a card for grocery shopping without the kids one night when they are in bed. Your husband can watch your kids and you could go to her house and watch over her kids while they sleep. Then she could get the shopping done and put up without the kids underneath her.

You know the things you take for granted having your spouse there. Like taking a shower and actually being able to fix your hair, Eight hours of sleep (I never get that and my husband is home lol), etc.

[Traci Reed]

xanax and chocolate?

[DawnMarch]

Maybe a GC for a local movie theater? i always found that a good place for a break with kids.

[clearskies]

Originally Posted by Traci Reed

xanax and chocolate?

My mom gave a sign for my office about a Xanax vodka mocha...

[Neverland Scraps]

My hubby is currently away and has another five more months before he returns. I only have three children, but I can tell you the ONE thing that I would love, love, LOVE is silence and a nap. I want to be able to lay down in my bed without having to hear my older girls fighting or the little man getting in to something he shouldn't be in. I want to not feel guilty for closing my eyes and forgetting the world while I rest my exhausted body.

If that's not something you can do, offering to take her kids because of your crazy schedule, how about facial interaction with your friend? I'd LOVE some adult face-to-face interaction. I miss talking to an adult and having adult conversations. I'm tired of hearing about cars, airplanes, trains, etc. Sure I can "talk" online to my online friends, but I miss physically moving my mouth and seeing someone's reaction to a joke or when they are telling me something that is bothering them. I get to talk to my husband every once in a while, but when I do, since it's a morale call, there's always feedback, clicks from someone listening or he just seems SO FAR AWAY with his sound/voice. I want a hug from someone who doesn't feel "forced" or "obligated" to hug me because they feel sorry for what's going on in our lives. I want that genuine hug of someone who's happy to see me and spend time with my kids and myself. I want someone to physically tell me, "you aren't alone, we are here with you" and rejoice as I count down my days.

But if you are looking for something physical to buy, I recommend a face/sleep mask to block the shadows and distractions out of the room while you are laying in a quiet bedroom missing your loved one. Another thing I recommend is Lavender, Peppermint, Orange or En-R-Ge oils. Every night before bed, I put lavender and peppermint on and I feel relaxed and more likely to fall asleep faster than without. In those early mornings, especially with school starting and our day begins at 6am, I use Orange or En-R-Ge for an instant "I can get through this morning" feeling!! The oils might be a little expensive since you said your budget isn't much, but the face mask costs $2.00 at WalMart and has done wonders with making you feel not so alone at night.

Depending on the age of the children, one of the things we did with one of my husband's deployment was made a foam craft (the thinner ones) and wrote the date and initial on it before mailing it back and forth to one another. At the end of his deployment, there were a lot of dates on each of the children's stars. In the middle of his deployment, one of our stars got lost in transit so we made another one--there was about two months of no dates for her. However, one of my daughters has two stars because the first lost star came back to us the last month of his deployment!! But that was a neat token that both of our kids experienced and have a treasure from that deployment.

[JenM]

How about making her a coupon book to take her kids once a month so she can go out and just be by herself. I know when my husband was deployed and my kids were little, it was so nice to just have someone take the kids out of the house for me so I could do stuff there by myself with no one saying "MOM". Or if her 12 year old is old enough to stay with the kids, maybe take her out once a month for a mom's night out. Believe me, anything you do will be enough because it is the thought that counts!!