Working with all men isnt cool...

[Gabbina]

This may be a long one and since english is not my first language even full of mistakes, so please forgive me

I'm having this hard time at work... I've graduated last year in international law, and been looking for a job for a long time, finally after lil things I found this one, for a big company... to do, of course, nothing even close to what I wanted or studied. But I said, ok, it is fine. They pay.
We make buildings, roads, and stuff like these, on a high level, and I am the only girl in the whole office. This mean, of course, they pretty much always pay for my coffee, but any time I wanna say something, they're like "ohh, don't get mad!!!" (as if a girl always got mad when she need to point something out...)... most of them don't take me in any consideration, as if I was some sorta of secretary of all of them, and it feels bad, sometimes.
Now. I've been working on this project since last September... including weekends. And nights. Just me, alone. Now, the projects should start in a few days, (we're about to start actually building this huge highway...) and there's a lot of new people working on it too, just doing different things. People who doesn't know anything about it, they keep calling me anytime to know where's this paper or to stamp this draw or to fix this letter... Yesterday there was a HUGE meeting, with all of the people part of the groups. To talk about the project in details. And I wasnt invited. Thee ALL were there. Even assistant, junior designer, all of them. To know each other before we start building. And I Wasnt there. I felt like crap. As I saw it, I ran into the bathroom and started crying as a stupid, of course. Then I got out, and acted as nothing happened, just when I saw one of my major colegue, I said him thanks for not calling me. And he was just: Oh, yes, sorry, we forgot... lets say we wanted to save you to spend time with us rude guys.
Wow. THAT didnt really made me feel better...

Sorry girls for the long boring post...

[scrap2day]

I'm so sorry that happened to you.

[ColleenSwerb]

Well, that blows. I am one of 5 women to work in my department (coincidentally, I'm a bridge engineer, so I can relate ) but our company is phenomenal. I NEVER feel looked down upon because I have boobs. Of course OUTSIDE of the office it isn't always so awesome (creepy construction guys WILL hit on you, consider yourself warned, lol!), but I never feel like a second clas citizen at work. I have other female friends in the industry at other companies, and I know that this isn't always the case, so I def feel your pain.

Although part of it might because I'm a tomboy and can be more crass than half my coworkers When we go out to lunch, I have a beer just like the rest of them. I dunno, I guess that's just me being a tomboy though.

[mummytothree]

I'm so sorry!! Men can be such pigs sometimes!!!

[bdances]

I'm sorry for ya!

[Gabbina]

Thanks for the support girls!!

Originally Posted by ColleenSwerb

Well, that blows. I am one of 5 women to work in my department (coincidentally, I'm a bridge engineer, so I can relate ) but our company is phenomenal. I NEVER feel looked down upon because I have boobs. Of course OUTSIDE of the office it isn't always so awesome (creepy construction guys WILL hit on you, consider yourself warned, lol!), but I never feel like a second clas citizen at work. I have other female friends in the industry at other companies, and I know that this isn't always the case, so I def feel your pain.

Although part of it might because I'm a tomboy and can be more crass than half my coworkers When we go out to lunch, I have a beer just like the rest of them. I dunno, I guess that's just me being a tomboy though.

I've never had problem spending time with guys, I'm not the kind of girl all in make up and skirts.. I dont even have a single pair of fancy shoes... LOL.
We're moving the whole group to anothe job site, were there's the actual building "action"... Hopefully OUTSIDE of the office won't be worse...

[ColleenSwerb]

If most of the guys are a fair amount older (which is my case), they might literally just have no idea how to behave around women in the work place. There's one guy here (I call him the old guy cuz he's like 75 or something and still working like a maniac) who will NEVER argue with me. Not even over something stupid like lunch. It's like he thinks I'm gonna burst into tears if he yells at me, lol. It's kind of funny, but that might be part of it. Especially in that/this industry where it's pretty rare to find a female. It's like throwing a girl into the men's locker room, they don't GET it, lol.

[ColleenSwerb]

And you're screwed on the actual job site, I promise, lol! I had one middle aged man practically hitting on me in front of the entire group of people from my office, WITH my engagement ring on, lol. There are no boundaries out on the job site. I can't tell you how many traffic guys hit on me when I'm out on inspections (which I don't wear my engagement ring out on inspections due to all the rust I deal with, but now I have a wedding band, so I'm set, lol!)

[jacinda]

You're going to have to speak up to them and lay out clearly to them what you do, and what is acceptable from them. They must treat you like one of the team. You are a hard worker, and you know your stuff. If you don't speak up now, things won't get better. Men are dense sometimes and need it spelt out for them otherwise they'll treat you like the cleaning lady. I spent 15 years in the military, most of it in units where I was either the only female, or one of only a few. Stand up for yourself and speak firmly. Rehearse at home what you want to say, then say it to them all at once at your next meeting.

Hugs, I know this is hard.

[jessica31876]

guys are dumb. unfortuantely I have no advice as Ive never been in that situation. Hope it gets better for you

[lovely1m]

I work with nearly all men, too. It can be a PIA. The thing that I have found to work is to kinda act like one of them. I think they are being ridiculous to you though. Hugs!

[nonnie]

I TOTALLY relate - I have a degree in Anthropology and I just took a job working for an oil and gas company - Oil riggs ect - they guys actually keep PORN at their desk and refer to me as honey!! I do all the accounting - we are talking in the millions - accounting - and some guy came in and asked me to make coffee - and then called me the secretary - Yes the money is that good! I just blow it off and come home to my real life - They are pigs - (I am the only woman too!)