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Old 05-21-2011, 06:06 PM
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Default Who Does What at Your House?

Aside from the kids and their regular chores, how do you and your spouse handle day-to-day household responsibilities - clean-up, dishes, laundry, vacuuming, yard work, maintenance, etc.? How did you come up with your system? Does it work? What would you change?
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:09 PM
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my system doesn't work.....cause nobody can do their chores without you telling them a million times. Dh does yardwork, but that is after he is tired of looking at the grass getting to long! He does keep the vehicles up to date but that is about it for his house chores....I stay at home now that I am retired so I guess I am expected to do pretty much everything and I am a little bitter about it ~
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:25 PM
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I do everything. He occasionally does yard work after I've nagged him enough about it. In our early days of marriage this drove me nuts and we fought ALL the time..until I finally just let it go. It still bugs me sometimes..but he does go to work 12 hrs a day most days and I stay home.

If I ask him to do something he will but if I came home to find he had voluntarily cleaned something I might just die from shock.
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nikkiARNGwife View Post
If I ask him to do something he will but if I came home to find he had voluntarily cleaned something I might just die from shock.
Ditto!!!
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:45 PM
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My older daughter (15) is in charge of unloading the dishwasher and helps me cook most of the time. My son (16) mows the lawn most of the time and is in charge of trash.

Of the other chores, my husband loads the dishwasher. He doesn't like how the rest of us do it, so he does that. He works 12 hour days but has most Fridays off so about once a month he'll deep clean our living room (before he sits on his butt and watches movies all day).

I do everything else. Laundry, cooking, bathrooms, kitchen. I work full time during the school year. Usually in the summer, Dan will quit doing even his very few chores because I'm home and should pick up the slack. I'm teaching summer school this year (to make extra money for family vacations) so we'll see what that means for our house.

The whole family goes grocery shopping. My husband actually enjoys it. There are some times I'll go do it by myself and that's OK, but if I'm heading out and he's home, he'll go with me. I spend less when he's not with me.
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:48 PM
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i'm going to be truthful. dh does a lot.

both of us
do laundry and put it away
cooking - he's better than me - used to be a chef

dh
vacuums
mops
general straighten up
all yardwork
washes cars
pays bills
fixes things
handyman projects
renovates

me
bathrooms
dusting (only when company is coming)
grocery shop
anything that has to be bought
all appointments
homework/school needs for kids
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Old 05-21-2011, 06:55 PM
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I do most of the stuff inside, except the dishes, I hate the dishes.

He does most of the stuff outside, though we share lawn mowing since it's a tractor.

I cook 5 days a week & meal plan.

He cooks once a week. (we go out or get take out the other day)

Maintenance varies. I set up & take down the pool & keep it clean. He moves the chicken pen around & cleans it out.

Repairs to the house are mostly him with me keeping the kids out from under foot but now that they are getting old enough to help we all pitch in.

We each deal with our own vehicles

I deal with all the bills.

He hangs or installs stuff.

He does as much with kids now as I do. Naturally I did more when they were babies & toddlers but still, bathtime & bedtime have always been his deal & he changed diapers & took them out for a few hours on the weekends to give me free time.

I am truly blessed to have married a man who was raised by a stay at home dad. It's just normal to him to help out with cooking & cleaning & taking care of the kids.

I work from home less than 10 hours a week on average & he works 50 hours a week on a slow week, on a busy week it can be 80 hours & involve overnight travel.

It just sort of evolved this way over time. We've been married for 17 years & the kids are 8 & 7.
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Old 05-21-2011, 07:01 PM
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DH works, so I of course, have to do everything else. *eyeroll* He used to mow the lawn but now that he goes away during the week a lot, if it's not nice out during the weekend the lawn won't get mowed for a long time, so I have started doing it as well as all chores and pay the bills, cook, get groceries, etc. The only time he does any chores is when he's pissed about something.

ETA: He doesn't really do anything for the children either. I help them take their shower, feed them (as in he gets his on plate of food while I get my girls food and my own), put them to bed every night and take them to school functions, birthday parties, etc.
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Old 05-21-2011, 07:05 PM
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Dh and I both work full-time and I'm happy to say the chores are pretty even for us. I take care of the bills. We live in an apartment so there's no yard work or maintenance. When we get a house, I know I will be the one mowing, because he'll let it get way too long for my liking! We usually go grocery shopping together, unless I need to have some "me" time and go out by myself.
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Old 05-21-2011, 07:52 PM
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my youngest does not do alot. It is a chore just to get him to clean his room. My older son helps alot. He helps his dad with working on the car because my husband cant really do much anymore. My older son and I do most of the yard work. My husband cooks and washes dishes. I do all the other housework inside. My husband does help some with the other stuff inside as well.

ETA:Both my husband and I do household maintenance type stuff and I handle bills unless I ask my husband to go pay a specific bill.
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Old 05-21-2011, 07:58 PM
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We both work outside the home and the "chores" are pretty even, except for the cooking, which I do all of, and the outside work, which he does all of. I pay all of the bills and we both take care of our own vehicles. Laundry, dishwasher, straightening we both do nightly. I do get the wonderful task of cleaning toilets, but he cleans up after the pets, so that kinda evens out. Our DD (3 yo) has to pick her toys up every night before she goes to bed, and she's still at the point where she's very eager to "help" with our everyday chores. We'll see how long that lasts.
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Old 05-21-2011, 08:06 PM
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My DH works a big day. I'm a SAHM. So I do all the daily house stuff: laundry, shopping, cooking, etc... He will do dishes some nights if it fits into the flow, but I always assume I will be doing clean-up, unless he just starts. I'll admit I enjoy all this stuff.

He does the yard work, car-maintenence and big household maintenance (like fixing broken furniture etc..)

The main thing for the both of us is SIMPLICITY. If a thing is just taking up to much energy then we let it go. We changed a flower bed into a piece of grass last year. Which is so much less maintenance AND provided a nice soft spot for picnics. Same with clothing. If I can't throw it in the washer & dryer I don't by it. I also have dishes that go in the dishwasher and are not uber heavy, so anyone in the house can do the dishes!
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Old 05-21-2011, 08:10 PM
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Oh...almost forgot. DH is the money guy. He does all the paying bills & investing stuff. I just spend it LOL!
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Old 05-21-2011, 08:23 PM
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I do the majority of the inside house cleaning, everyday stuff, cooking, bills, that sort of thing.

He does the outside chores and dishes.

Laundry we both do, he actually does more because he spends more time in the basement than I do, that's where the machines are.

And we share with the kids too, we take turns doing baths and we swap kids each night for bedtime. If I have a shoot he puts both kids to bed.

Neither of us are neat freaks, so my house is cluttered a lot of the time and I hate it, but I have to be in a cleaning mood. LOL!
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Old 05-21-2011, 09:22 PM
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I have to be honest, too... my hubby does a lot around the house... I grew up in a house where my mom did EVERYTHING and my dad did very little... a lot of resentment built up and they are now divorced... so, for me, I didn't start out being super housewife.

DH does:
dishes/kitchen clean up after I cook
all outside stuff... yard work and snow removal (unless he is traveling I will do snow removal - shovel, I don't use the snowblower)
does Jake's bedtime routine (teeth brushing, bath, bookreading, pjs, etc)
all bills and financial planning (he is a control freak, so he wouldn't have it any other way)
maintenance - taking the cars in... calling for other maintenance items.... takes care of our computers, etc.
Runs most errands (I do the mass shopping for food and household stuff - he does the one offs like getting a printer cartridge, etc)
And anything else I ask him to do...

Me...
housework (uhm, yeah... scrapping tends to compete with this...)
99% of the cooking and food shopping (DH will pick up one offs on his way home from work)
homeschooling and running with J to his classes
childcare... including calling doc, etc for him...
"cruise director" for activities we do as a family
gift shopping for everyone in the family...
hosting/planning majority of get togethers for the whole family throughout the year... this isn't just for our family... it's like hosting for my FIL's band - even though FIL is paying for everything... I have to do all the cooking/entertaining...

50/50...
laundry - whoever realizes that the load is done and needs to be switched out for the next batch.
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Old 05-21-2011, 09:26 PM
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I'm a SAHM, and DH is gone 7am-7pm Mon-Fri. He pays bills and does his own laundry. He's a picky eater, so he cooks for himself about 50% of the time (but I still have to cook for myself and the kids). We pay someone to do yardwork because with DH's allergies, he can't do it. I'm supposed to do everything else.

The reality is that DH has a lot less tolerance for mess than I do, so if things are messier than he can stand on the weekend he pitches in to help. The more on top of things I am, the less he's willing to do. Our main bone of contention is that DH is gone for almost all of the kids' waking hours during the week. He spends 45 minutes to an hour helping out with bedtime, and that's all he sees the kids for. So I think that on the weekend the division of labor should be different--he should take on more of the kid-care leaving me able to tackle some of the other chores I never get to, like decluttering the basement. He isn't on board.
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Old 05-21-2011, 09:34 PM
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my dh works construction which means, he's not around for 9 mo out of the year from about 6 am until 6 pm or later 6 days a week. i stay home with the kids, so that means i do the majority of the housework. i do dishes, mop, do laundry, and all things 'kid' (bedtime, mealtime, baths, etc.).
dh does do the yard stuff and fixes the major things that need fixing (he won't let me touch his tools...bad things happen when that occurs). he's also the bill payer (by his choice, not mine).
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Old 05-21-2011, 09:50 PM
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We have no system.
  • DH do the dishes in the morning everyday.
  • I do the other dishes (we don't own a dishwasher b/c here is too hot and we actually appreciate any opportunity to play with water - true story - so this is a lot of work)
  • I clean the house (vacuum, dust, declutter, clean bathrooms and the kitchen - here where I live we actually wash the bathrooms and the kitchen with a hose or buckets of water and soap, so it's hard work too) on weekdays. I do at least once a week. I'm a cleaning freak.
  • I also cook on weekdays (weekends too, depends on my mood for cooking. But we go out to have lunch and/or dinner often and sometimes we order pizza, if the weekday is particularly busy or goes all messed up)
  • Garbage is a DH's job.
  • Laundry is my job (eew).
  • I don't do the ironing even if somebody pays me $$$$$ money. DH did it for many years, but now we just walk around all wrinkled.
  • Backyard is a DH territory.
  • On weekends DH helps me A LOT with cleaning the house b/c he loves me so much (aka he doesn't want to deal with my bad mood and mumblings during the weekend)
  • DH pay the bills 'cause I don't stand in lines. EVER. Specially inside banks.
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Old 05-21-2011, 10:05 PM
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I stay home, so I do most of the daily stuff around the house and 95% of the kid stuff. DH vacuums on the weekends, takes care of the yard (and he's awesome at it!) and does most house/car maintenance.

I do wish he'd help out more with the kids, especially at bedtime, but it is what it is.
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Old 05-21-2011, 10:16 PM
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If I cook, DH does the dishes. It's pretty rare for him to cook, maybe once a month, unless I ask him to grill something. We have three kids, 2, 4 and 7. He does baths for the younger two, and puts the older two to bed. I put my youngest to bed, and she will throw a fit if DH even suggests he will do it instead. lol I don't lift a finger on anything involving the yard. He mows, weed eats, trims, plants the garden, etc. In the house, he takes care of any and all bugs and fixes things.

I pay bills, do 99% of the housework, do the laundry, go grocery shopping, take kids to/from school, do homework, etc. If I do ask him to help, he is generally willing. Because he is pretty involved with the kids' bath and bedtime, I'm normally happy to do everything else esp. since I don't have a job outside the house.
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Old 05-21-2011, 10:34 PM
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I'm another one with a husband who does a lot around the house. Honestly, he does most of it after working a full time job.

He does:
Laundry
Dishes
Vacuuming
Sweeping/mopping
Yard Work
Car Maintenance (aka taking it in for oil changes)
Some Cooking

I do:
More cooking
Bills
Lots of supervising

JP & D:
Clean rooms
Empty/load dishwasher
Set/Clear table
General pick-up/clean-up of living room/sunroom
Bathrooms (JP)
Garbage (JP, though Devin helps on occasion)
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Old 05-21-2011, 10:53 PM
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DH and I both work outside the house so we share pretty evenly in the work around the house. We both do dishes and cook. Other stuff is divided:

I do all the laundry, because I don't trust him to do it right! I also do most of the "fix-it" kinda stuff because DH is hopeless with that. I probably do slightly more cleaning-type stuff, but he does garbage take-out and grocery shopping (and makes the kids' lunches which I hate).
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Old 05-21-2011, 10:59 PM
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I do most everything, but I'm okay with that because what he does do is all stuff I hate doing, lol. He cleans out the litter box, takes the trash out to the road every Wednesday, mows the lawn and stuff like that. He also does quite a bit of cooking too. He is gone from 6 to 5 everyday and does so much for our family. I stay home, so I'll happily take care of cleaning up and taking care of most things
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Old 05-21-2011, 11:11 PM
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DH stays home so he truthfully does WAY more around the house than me. Interestingly, we have different "priorities", which makes things really work well

Me:
  • work full time
  • get kids out of bed and dressed
  • take daughter to school (unless she rides bikes with daddy!)
  • help finish dinner if it needs it (or at least entertain kids so he can finish)
  • do bath time/bed time with kids
  • I take the kids 100% of the time on the weekends. We do lots of family stuff, but I don't make a single plan that doesn't involve both of the kids. This gives DH lots of "him" time (working in the garage, tinkering, golf, whatever).
  • I straighten up the living room/dining rooms (i can't stand clutter in those rooms)
  • I sweep the floors every day
  • I make the kids pick up their stuff, too (their own shoes, backpacks, etc). He's too lenient about that during the day

Him:
  • make kids lunches
  • fix breakfast
  • watches 4 yr old all day
  • provides food loosely labeled "dinner"
  • all bills!
  • car stuff - repairs, registrations, etc
  • laundy
  • kitchen
  • house stuff - everything - repairs, taxes, ,bills, etc.
  • kids dentist appts and checkups w/doctors


    our process works sooooooo well. Even though our roles aren't traditional, we have roles. And we never fight over stuff. he knows my job can be demanding at times and never nags, and at the same time, I have NO LIFE outside of work so ever minute I'm home I happily offer to let him have "HIM" time (time off to do his own thing).

    Life is good

Him:
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Old 05-21-2011, 11:19 PM
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DH is unemployed currently and a neat freak so he does lot more of the household chores than I do. Sometimes I do some of the things under DH's list of to do's, especially if he's recently had a medical procedure.

Shared:
Laundry
Cleaning kitchen
Emptying/loading dishwasher
Sweeping/mopping
Feeding/dosing dogs

DH:
Vacuuming
Dusting (I have severe dust allergies)
Cleaning bathroom
Taking out trash
Bill paying
Blowing/trimming grass (after mowing)
Grooming dogs (brushing teeth, brushing hair, etc.)
Household/computer maintenance


Me:
Cooking
Grocery shopping
Lawn Mowing
Taking in trash cans
Poop scooping
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Old 05-22-2011, 07:30 AM
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We are a little reversed here....

I do:
Cooking, Food Shopping
Laundry
Most of the Cleaning
Majority of the other shopping
All computer related work/maintenance
General house maintenance

DW does:
All money business
Bath routines for the girls
Lunches and other things to "get ready" for the school day
All of the outside "business" like calling places, making appointments

We share:
Responsibility of the girls
The knowledge that while this is the "usual" we are always willing to help the other out.
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Old 05-22-2011, 07:42 AM
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My husband does so much...I'm almost embarrassed...but I work two jobs...one full time and one part time...I figured since I spend most of the money-I should earn it...

He does...
Dishes and all the other "inside" chores
Vacuum/sweep/mop
Most of the shopping (groceries)
Trash
Yard Work
Bed-time routine
and anything else I ask...honestly-the man is a prince...

I do...
All the money stuff
AM morning routine (he works third shift so I get days and he gets nights)
Shopping (household essentials mostly non-food)
Any type of "outside the home business"...appointments and the likes...
We do...
Laundry
General daily upkeep of those house
Cooking

Together we share in the general responsibility of raising our boys...he would never look at me and say "deal with that" and I in turn would never look at him and say the same...He never allows the boys to be disrespectful to me...and the same goes for me...These kids know we are in it together and that we are a united force...although I admit that Daddy is slightly easier to pushover...since he is rather clueless to the outside running of the family and my teenagers LOVE to take advantage of that if at all possible. They especially love to do this when I'm at work (my second job), and Daddy is left in charge of the "free time" they have.
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Old 05-22-2011, 07:47 AM
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We both work full time and I am supposed to be at work about 6:45 AM, but since dh takes the kids to day care, I have to stick around the house until 6 to wake them up and get them in the shower/dressed/fed (because he doesn't handle that very well) until I can HOPEFULLY leave for work at about 6:25 - which means I get there about 7.

Luckily, I have someone come clean the house every other week because I just can't keep up. Don't get home til about 5 PM after picking up all the kiddos, etc.

Me:
* all laundry (if dh needs something clean, he'll wash just that thing )
* pay all bills & mortgage
* schedule all doctor's appointments and take kids (even have to schedule
dh appointments cuz he won't do it)
* make dinner 5 nights/week
* all grocery shopping
* take out trash - although he usually manages to put the can out once a
week on trash day
* we share dishwasher responsibilities
* intermittent cleaning between maid visits

Him:
* fixes things, although typically quits in the middle and moves to something
else
* does dishes when I cook
* takes kids to school in the morning
* pays the neighbor kid to mow the lawn
* says he's going to take out the trash, but then manages to get out of it
because I have to do it when you can't close the lid anymore!

It's lovely
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Old 05-22-2011, 07:49 AM
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Tony works shift work (he's a cop) and many times works longer or has to go in earlier than he planned. He also is on call a lot.

I do the bulk of the indoor cleaning, because I'm home. I would feel like a dolt asking him to say, clean the bathroom, when he just worked 12 hours, if I was home all day, kwim?

He does the chores I can't stand and a few others:
-unloading the dishwasher in the morning
-mop/sweep floors once a week or so
-outdoor stuff like mowing grass (though I do this sometimes too)
-any building/woodworking type things
-house maintenance

I do:
-most of the cooking
-all bill paying/money
-all laundry (I hang it outside to dry)
-bathrooms
-bedrooms
-dusting
-lunches, etc for school
-make appts for kids (dentist, etc)
-any big sorting/cleaning project (like organizing basement)
-Christmas shopping/wrapping/decorating (big project when you have 3 kids LOL)

We both do:
-food shopping (Tony's a sucker for a deal, so he actually goes more than me, because I just buy whatever, regardless LOL)
-vaccuuming when it's needed
-bed time routines
-kid's parties and other functions
-taking kids to appts
-taking out garbage
-helping kids with homework
-computer upkeep

In the winter, when I'm coaching skating, we just kind of play the "whoever has time" game LOL. But it all gets done. I have a routine I follow in terms of days things are done.

ETA I feel so blessed for my husband's help. I mean, we all have lazy days where we don't feel like doing anything, so we tend to pick up each other's slack on those days.
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Old 05-22-2011, 08:18 AM
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My husband does a ton. He helps me so much. He will happily do anything I need help with, but there are some things that are just his jobs. Our girls clean up after themselves and help set and clear the table. They usually help me clean the bathrooms as well.

Dh:
Takes out trash
Sweeps/mops
Cleans shower
Yardwork (which I would do and don't mind, but I can't do it if he's not home because of the kids so if we're both home, it makes more sense for him to do it... plus, I can't do the edging, I stink at it)
Put away leftovers after dinner
Grocery shopping

We both sort of do dishes, laundry, bedtime, money things... and we have 3 bath days a week for the kids and one day is his.

I do:
General cleanup (all day every day right?)
Bathrooms
Vacuuming
Dusting
Cooking (though he willingly do it every day if needed him, but I usually don't want to wait for him to start when he gets home)
Taking care of the kids all day
Get up with baby during the night (not that he can do this since I nurse... but still!)

I feel extremely lucky to have my hubby. For the past school year he has been teaching early morning seminary every school day and I have had to take over some of his responsibilities and it's been rough! Especially having a new baby! But it's over and I'm so glad to have his help again!
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Old 05-22-2011, 08:54 AM
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I stay at home and DH is a paramedic, so our schedule is odd, His shifts are between 12 and 16 hours, he has on call shifts, and rotating days off. Sometimes he's here for days, sometimes we don't see him for days.

DH does most of the grocery shopping, if he's off, he usually cooks. He does most of the yard stuff, although I'll help if I'm told exactly what to do. He cleans ceiling fans, the fish tanks, swaps out filters and takes care of the cars.

My kids have chores and they have to keep their rooms and bathroom clean. They do trash,recycling, sweep the porch, poop patrol the yard and have dish duty in the summer. My oldest does her own laundry, I do everyone else's.

I pay the bills, do most of the non-grocery variety shopping, I meal plan. I do most of the actual cleaning, organizing, decluttering. I'm not exactly a neat freak but I have to have a certain level of clean and tidy or I can't function. Everyone is expected to pick up after themselves.

My DH does all the parenting I do.
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Old 05-22-2011, 08:56 AM
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Ours is basically DH is responsible for the outside (plus trash & kitty boxes), I'm responsible for the inside. He'll chip in to help with inside chores if I'm overwhelmed or am gone (as I have been this week with funerals and hospital visits), and I'll help outside if we're working on a big yard job, etc.

ETA - the kids have their own set of chores that they do, too.
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Old 05-22-2011, 08:59 AM
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I do everything. Including the yard work.

Although, he did mow the back yesterday, third time EVER.

To be fair, I'm home all day and he works. But also to be fair, there are more than 40 hours of house/kid stuff around here in a week.
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Old 05-22-2011, 09:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Angie4b1g View Post
I do everything. Including the yard work.

Although, he did mow the back yesterday, third time EVER.

To be fair, I'm home all day and he works. But also to be fair, there are more than 40 hours of house/kid stuff around here in a week.
YES. This is a never ending argument between me and DH..he just doesn't get it at all..that yes he works all day but when he gets home..he's off..I'm never off. Ever. Maybe for the 45 minutes after I get the kids in bed before I pass out from exhaustion but that's about it.
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Old 05-22-2011, 09:29 AM
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DH:
takes care of the trash
vacuum the floor
does the dishes
pays the bills
take care of the computer stuffs, Internet, etc.

Me:
cleaning everything
laundry and everything that follows
tidying stuffs
reminds DH to do his chores lol

together:
do grocery shopping
change bedsheet
cooking (50/50)
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Old 05-22-2011, 09:41 AM
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Joel and I both do everything. We don't have a set system, but it usually gets done by one of us. Some weeks I don't feel like doing squat. And he picks up the slack. Other weeks it's flip flopped. Some weeks neither of us feel like doing anything and it gets messy but we get it back under control the next week. We both have the attitude as we both work stressful jobs so it's okay if our house isn't in perfect condition all the time. Thank goodness he feels the same way! LOL

ETA: In the summer I do most everything since I'm off and he's not. I feel bad making him do stuff when I'm home all day having fun. I keep trying to tell him that if he'd just let me stay home & not work, he'd NEVER have to do housework! LOL
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Old 05-22-2011, 10:57 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin View Post
Ours is basically DH is responsible for the outside, I'm responsible for the inside.
This is us, except, DH usually does the dishes (he likes to do them RIGHT after dinner) & folding/putting away the laundry (I hate laundry & don't care if I need to pull it from a basket...he doesn't like searching for his clothes, you know...jeans & a t-shirt)
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Old 05-22-2011, 11:35 AM
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I'm another who got lucky with my DH. He grew up with his mom doing everything while his dad did nothing and he saw how hard it was on his mom, so he pitches in a lot.

He does dishes most of the time, all yardwork, makes sure the trash gets to the curb, helps with the kids' baths, gets the boy up for school in the morning and takes kids to the doctor/appointments (I don't have a car). He also hangs anything I ask him to and changes the lightbulbs. I'm not safe on ladders.

We split cooking duties, literally. If I cook the entree, he does the sides and if he cooks the entree, I do the sides. So everything's on the table at the same time and no one burned anything. We both clean the bathrooms as needed.

I do the laundry, unless he needs something specific washed and I don't have time. I do most of the vacuuming, dusting and tidying up. I pay all the bills, balance the checkbook and help with the kids' homework.
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Old 05-22-2011, 11:37 AM
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This is all good insight! You've all just saved my DH! LOL

I was having a day yesterday. I *feel* like I am the only one that sees what needs to be done inside this house and it's getting on my nerves. Why can't people clean up after themselves??!! I like a clean house. Not immaculate, just clean/tidy. I like order.

So the kids have their daily chores, including unloading the dishwasher, vacuuming, dusting the living room and tidying bathrooms. Then on other days, they take out the garbage, recycling, kitty litter, etc.

DH owns his own business, so he can be home lots, but he can work long, hard hours as well. I own my own business, I am an in-home child care provider, so while I am home every day, I am still working and caring for 5 children during the day (2 babies) and then the girls also when they're home from school.

So here's the lists...

Me:
mine/kids laundry
dishes/kitchen clean-up throughout the day
supervision/help with the chores
washing the floors
changing the bedding
kitty maintenance
90% meals
98% bedtime routines

DH:
all "man" maintenance of the house and yard (although I can and will do some)
paying bills/finances

We share:
gardening/mowing lawns
running/driving kids

So really...I guess it works out. DH does help out a lot around the house and sometimes it comes and goes in spurts. He leaves his clothes laying everywhere throughout the house, paperwork/coffee mugs/keys and other junk gets left in MY workspace (kitchen counters) and sometimes you know, it just gets to me.

Anyway, thanks for all your answers.
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Old 05-22-2011, 11:59 AM
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It's true, that being a SAHM is a 40+ hr a week job, but in reality, parenting is a 40+ hr a week job. Both my wife and I are teachers, so we are out of the house all day working, but that doesn't mean that when we get home we are "off." In fact, we have all of the usual "mom and dad" stuff to take care of, on top of the extra job stuff like planning lessons and grading papers.

I think that the bottom line is...whatever works for you and your partner is the best option. It's no use trying to make things fit for what works for other people. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
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Old 05-22-2011, 12:05 PM
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He leaves his clothes laying everywhere throughout the house, paperwork/coffee mugs/keys and other junk gets left in MY workspace (kitchen counters) and sometimes you know, it just gets to me.
My DH does this too. Especially shoes. I decided that I would rather pick it up than get upset or angry. (I don't like feeling that way). Sometimes I put them away, but sometimes I just stick them in his 'box' !!! Sometimes there's a lot of *stuff* in his box!
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Old 05-22-2011, 12:13 PM
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My DH does this too. Especially shoes. I decided that I would rather pick it up than get upset or angry. (I don't like feeling that way). Sometimes I put them away, but sometimes I just stick them in his 'box' !!! Sometimes there's a lot of *stuff* in his box!
My DH has a "box" too and there's lots of stuff in there as well. LOL At least it's all in one place.
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Old 05-22-2011, 12:49 PM
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I'm going to respond even though I'm widowed.

For 20 years I did most of the housework and DH did everything else, BUT he was deployed a lot and I never minded doing it. When he was home he still worked on base during the day, so I still did the majority of the housework.

Once DS was old enough he took care of trash/yard work/and maintenance issues. DS also knew how to run a vacuum, broom, mop, washing machine and dryer by age 10 and loved to cook. I did take care of bills and stuff because when he was deployed or away on special assignment for a week or two it needed to be done. When he was home he was a HUGE help with DS in the child rearing days (DS was 15 when DH was killed). I didn't have DD until DS was 13 so it was one child at a time. DS learned from his father and was a huge help with DD when DH passed (she was only 2-1/2).

Now that it's just DD (almost 11) and I, she does a lot. She does laundry, vacuums, dishes, sweeps, mops, bathroom duty, dusts, mows lawn, trash duty, etc. We pretty much split everything up - if she mows, I vacuum. If she does the laundry one day then I do dishes that day, etc. She helps me cook but I handle the money - LOL. We both pick up after ourselves daily - no clutter piling up because it drives us both batty.

I agree with the statement that every family has what works for them, but if one person feels bitter or overburdened then it might be time for a family meeting - LOL.
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Old 05-22-2011, 01:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angie4b1g View Post

To be fair, I'm home all day and he works. But also to be fair, there are more than 40 hours of house/kid stuff around here in a week.
totally THIS!!! and I am a full time student and retired so it is not like I am NOT contributing to the household income...I just wish he was more willing to do things without being asked a million times...I ven mowed the front yard the other day and he told me "just don't mow anymore"......sweet...I didn't want to do it anyway!!!
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Old 05-22-2011, 03:24 PM
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My hubby (who works 50 to 60 hours a week) really does a ton around our house!! Here is just a quick breakdown of what gets done:

Hubby:
Makes breakfast every day
Usually cooks lunch and dinner S & S's.
Does all the lawn work (with one exception)
Does a lot of the home repairs
Maintains all vehicles
Does his own laundry
Pays the one or two bills that aren't direct debts
He puts the 2 older boys to bed
Puts the garbage out on Mondays

Me:
Cooks lunch and dinner M-F.
Mows the grass on Wednesdays.
Washes the breakfast and lunch dishes.
Sweeps the kitchen after breakfast
Mops the kitchen
vaccums
Makes our bed and small kids beds
Meal plans
I put the baby to bed cause he still nurses.

Both:
Homework
School projects
Running kids here and there (although I usually do about 90% of this if it's before 6PM. HE usually does anything after 6PM.....like pick ups. Also when the two littlest ones were really small he did like 90% and I did like 10%)
Baths for the small kids

Oldest DD:
Does dinner dishes
Makes her own bed
Folds and puts away her laundry
Cleans the main bathroom
Puts herself to bed

DD #2:
Makes her own bed
Folds and puts away her own laundry
Sweeps the kitchen after dinner
Cleans the kids bathroom
Takes garbage to the cans (not out the street)
Puts her self to bed

Oldest DS:
Makes his own bed
picks up living room toys at end of day
Takes the recycling out and to the curb on Wednesdays

We leave most of our "deep cleaning" for the weekend and we all share that. We also all grocery shop in the weekend too.
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Last edited by mummytothree; 05-22-2011 at 03:27 PM.
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Old 05-22-2011, 03:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by paperboutique View Post
He leaves his clothes laying everywhere throughout the house, paperwork/coffee mugs/keys and other junk gets left in MY workspace (kitchen counters) and sometimes you know, it just gets to me.

Anyway, thanks for all your answers.
I have since read that he has a "box" you put stuff into but I thought I'd give you another good tip and I actually started this because of my kids leaving stuff laying around...I always felt like I was nagging them (and they felt this way too) when I would have to tell them 3 and 4 times to pick something up and put it away.

But I read somewhere (who knows I wander the internet so much and I actually might have read it her at SSD) to purchase a dry erase board and when you are going about your day and you come upon an article that does not belong...write it on the board for example I do this:

DD #1:
Green sock on basement step
Book on kitchen counter
Clothes in dryer

DD#2:
Clothes on wooden rack
Littlest Pet shop in bathroom
purple shirt in mudroom

DS #1
Legos on couch
shoes in laundry room
belt in bathroom

Then when they get home they look at the board and put the stuff away and when it's done they cross it off...then I don't have to nag them over and over and they can feel like they have some control over when it gets done!! But this could work for your hubby too!!!

It saves a lot of fights in our hours...especially with the 13 and 9 year old girls!!!
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Old 05-22-2011, 04:25 PM
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Elizabeth that is an awesome idea with the dry erase board!!!!!
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Old 05-22-2011, 07:51 PM
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Jeff's in construction so I get a lot more help during the winter than I do the summer/spring.

I do: laundry, trash, bill paying, dishes, general cleaning and 85% of kid stuff

He does: yard work, all car work, vacuuming and he does J's hair cuts and he does baths for the kids

We both grocery shop.. but it's cheaper if I go by myself. He's worse than the children
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Old 05-22-2011, 08:33 PM
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I'm not really sure how our system started. We've been married 16 1/2 years - it just kind of evolved?

Dh washes the clothes - I fold and put away.
We trade off cooking and doing dishes. Whoever cooks, other one does dishes.
I generally do the dusting, dh likes to vaccuum.
I pay the bills and let the dogs out, dh takes care of the mowing and yardwork.

Ds is 8. He was given two chores this year... remind mom to get on the treadmill every night and make sure the dogs have food. Let's put it this way... I haven't lost any weight yet... and the dogs would have starved if we relied on him.
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Old 05-22-2011, 08:44 PM
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Quote:
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We both grocery shop.. but it's cheaper if I go by myself. He's worse than the children
It's just the opposite here, Tony goes and seems to be able to get like 20 bags for 50 bucks, and I get like 3 LOL. He's way better at finding (or even caring about) bargains, so I let him do it when he wants to.

Our grocery store is almost right next to where he works, and it's 10 minutes from our house. So if we need something picked up, he'll grab it on his way home from work.
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