The Birds and the Bees :D............

[cindys732003]

How much do your kids know and what age are they? I think should be discussing more with my dd (9) but I know that once I start, she will ask question after question.....I'm so not ready for it LOL!
What have you told your kids?

[AmberK]

well, my kids are 7 and 5 and they haven't asked so we haven't talked about it! Not sure what I will do when they do ask. Although I remember a book that my mom gave me to read that explained things. Not sure if I will go this route or not. I will be interested to see what others responses are!

[SmallMoments]

Luke's 8.5. He knows how a baby is made- but in simple terms. And he knows how it happens. And, after this week, he knows what periods are. LOL

At Target- "Mom, what are THESE?" Points to tampons. Me: *sigh*

We're pretty open about things, though. I figure if he doesn't hear it from us & he's curious, he'll find out from somewhere else. And I want him to hear it from us.

[Darcy Baldwin]

My oldest knows just about everything. We always answer questions with need to know info, and never offer more

My youngest, at the same age the oldest was when he started asking questions (around 8-9), is happily oblivious to all of it.

Kristin - I'm sure you might have heard this story - but when I explained it to Connor....and showed him a visual with my hands of the mechanics of it, but didn't explain the umm' boom' thing. He wanted to ask one more question and I was afraid it was going to be more than I was ready to go into..and he said... it's just like Legos, isn't it!?

yes, son, making babies is just like playing legos. That's why you can't play legos with your girlfriends anymore :P

[mariewilcox]

Well Cheyanne is almost 12 and going into 7th grade so she pretty much knows it all, although she hasn't started her period yet and still freaks out when I mention it She is one of the last of her friends to start so I suspect it won't be too much longer.

She really has never asked many questions over the years so I've had to explain things as we go. Like the time she asked me if she could get pregnant by slow dancing with a boy After 6th grade biology she now knows how everything happens.

[Misty Cato]

My son at 7 knows all the basics. He was coming home from school with such crazy stuff he was hearing from friends that we just decided he needed the full story from us so he could discern fact from fiction with his friends.

My husband and I come from two different backgrounds. I grew up with a simple 'families' book that included information about boys and girls and how babies are made that sat on the bookshelf alongside my ABC books. I didn't even realize it was a 'grown-up' topic until my grandma came to watch me one day and I brought her the 'families' book to read and couldn't figure out why she made me pick another book, lol!

My husband grew up receiving no information from his parents. So we've kind of struck a middle ground with the kids.

[SmallMoments]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

Kristin - I'm sure you might have heard this story - but when I explained it to Connor....and showed him a visual with my hands of the mechanics of it, but didn't explain the umm' boom' thing. He wanted to ask one more question and I was afraid it was going to be more than I was ready to go into..and he said... it's just like Legos, isn't it!?

Luke said the SAME thing!!!!!! LOL Oh my word- that's hilarious!!!!

[taracotta7]

Landon is 7 and starting to ask questions. I just answer the question honestly and don't give more details. IF he wants to know more, he will ask. I just go little bits at a time with what he is comfortable with.

True story.......
L:Mom, what is that? (pointing to a tampon)
Me: Well, it is for girls to use.
L: For what?
Me: When girls are teenagers God gives them a menstrual cycle and they need those to keep themselves clean. (freaking out that I said menstrual to my boy!)
L: Awesome. and God gave boys motorcyles! *walked off so proud of himself for KNOWING something*

I was dying laughing. I was so thankful that the discussion didn't go farther but so glad I have this gem of a story to remind him (and his future wife) of when needed! LOL

[Freckles]

My dd kept asking what sex is. I explained it's making babies. I said it happens when 2 people love each other very much and they hug a lot, and then dad gives a seed to mom, so a baby can grow in her tummy. I didn't explain the rest and was afraid she would ask more details, but that seemed like a satisfying answer for her. She was 7.

[marlathrall]

My baby sister is 9 and got the talk the last week of school this year. She's no where needing to know, but my mom didn't want her not to be there with all her classmates. She came home and told my mom she was "shocked!" I have no idea how because she has three older sisters and we all very open about our bodies. lol. The next couple of weeks she asked lots of questions and I tried to answer very openly but it was weird.

[Paula]

Well, I told my kids when they asked. I explained it in very simple terms and they seemed happy with it. When my girls were 9.5-10 I explained to them about menstrual cycles because I got mine when I was 11 and I wanted them to be prepared. My mom didn't tell me and when it happened, I thought I was dying of some disease. LOL

[YepBrook]

My son is 6 and still blissfully unaware about the birds and the bees. He has learned, though, that marrying his sister is not an option. haha. I'm not looking forward to the talk, though. He already tells me that his p---s is the most important part of his body. LOL!!!! I asked him, "more than your brain???" and he seriously had to think about it before he said... "well, no, my brain is very important! But my - is important, too."

[marlathrall]

Originally Posted by YepBrook

My son is 6 and still blissfully unaware about the birds and the bees. He has learned, though, that marrying his sister is not an option. haha. I'm not looking forward to the talk, though. He already tells me that his p---s is the most important part of his body. LOL!!!! I asked him, "more than your brain???" and he seriously had to think about it before he said... "well, no, my brain is very important! But my - is important, too."

Haha. I love that. I hope you've scrapped that conversation because his future wife will love it.

[Ginger_79]

No kids here. But I learned first from my mom. I think I was maybe 7? Little younger? Then later from a very innocent, biology lecture at primary school. My experience is that kids at a young age are more interested in the whole baby making, how does it work thing than sex as..you know...sex.
So I don't think the topic is a problem at a young age. I actually believe it gets harder, if you wait for this in between age, when they can sense there is more to it. At young age they except the whole "When two people love each other and want to make a baby" thing just right. It's something far away adults do. I suspect the older they get, the more awkward it will be.

[ripal]

Originally Posted by YepBrook

My son is 6 and still blissfully unaware about the birds and the bees. He has learned, though, that marrying his sister is not an option. haha. I'm not looking forward to the talk, though. He already tells me that his p---s is the most important part of his body. LOL!!!! I asked him, "more than your brain???" and he seriously had to think about it before he said... "well, no, my brain is very important! But my - is important, too."

Did you know that the 'cup' was invented 100 years before they invented the helmet? Boys/Men got their priorities!!!

[maryinaz]

My boys really didn't ask much early on. In our school they have human growth and development programs and each year they got a little more information. I always reviewed all the information they were getting each year to make sure I thought they were ready for it. And then before and after made sure we were open to answer questions.

Saying all that, I have all boys and they mostly feel more comfortable going to their dad with questions as they get older. Although I'm the one saying to my oldest 2 when they head out the door "No drinking, no drugs, no sex!" LOL

[Darcy Baldwin]

Originally Posted by maryinaz

Although I'm the one saying to my oldest 2 when they head out the door "No drinking, no drugs, no sex!" LOL

Aww mom, you take away all the fun!

[breakingbrie]

My girls are 6, and don't know what sex is. Now that I think about it, I don't even think they know the difference between boys and girls... They know they grew in my belly, and the closest they've come to asking how I got them in there, lol, was one random question at the dinner table. Caitlyn was just sitting there eating, and then asked 'why did you eat us when we were babies?' She thought that's how they got into my belly. I didn't go into it at all at the time, so I'm sure it'll come up again soon, if she's already wondering.

[jaylensmom]

Oh this thread is right on time...My son (7) asked me the other night how do babies get in mommies stomachs...I told him God put them there...Not good enough for him...He said he knew that but how does it happen...Ummmm dumb mommy hear couldn't figure out the right words so I told him that I would have to think about how to explain it so it made sense to him...I know he'll be asking me again because the boy never forgets anything...

[Jenn Barrette]

Ava is 5 and asked how babies get into a mommies tummy a few months back and we explained it to her. She didn't ask to much about it after we explained the mechanics of things. She is still at the age that other bodily functions are more entertaining than the whole sex topic. LOL

[jessica31876]

on a need to know basis as they asked but questions started for us with my daughter when I was pregnant with her youngest brother.

And FYI Tara Id gladly have been given a motorcycle over a menstrual cycle LMAO

[Sarah8914]

I really really don't know what to do.

This book is really good though Cindy.
How to Talk to your Child About Sex
I checked it out from the library and might purchase it. They have really good questions and answers that may come up. They also recommend telling them at age 8. My dd will be 8 this fall and I can't imagine her knowing any of it. But after reading the book, it does help me have a better perspective.

I grew up in a family where we NEVER talked about any of that. Not even when I was getting married (we wait until marriage). Never. So it's kind of awkward for me to talk about still. But I don't want it to be that way in our family. I want it to be very open. Part of me wants to wait until she comes home and shares something she heard at school--but I also don't want that something to be way too much and incorrect. So I am just so torn. I want to be the one to teach her. I just don't know when would be best.

Good luck!

[jessica31876]

One thing I can tell you for sure is keep it honest and keep it ongoing. Dont try to tell them everything with one discussion. And use things around you as conversation starters. Like if you see she is developing and needing to go get a training bra for instance. It is a perfect time to talk about developing into a woman in my opinion. When a young lady starts her menstrual cycle it is a good time to talk about why she has the cycle and what her body is doing. I know with my kids they asked questions all the time and I just answered them. When they started getting older (teenagers) I talked a little less about the science of what is happening and a little more about feelings and our (my husband and I) values and the consequences of becoming sexualy active. I did not want my kids hearing it from their friends which Im sure they still did and I did not want our school system to teach my children THEIR values. I can also tell you it is not nearly as bad as you probably feel it will be.

[KyRainbow]

At 14 my daughter is fully informed, including things like condoms, STD's and pregnancy. It was the most awkward conversation for me, ever, but with kids maturing so much faster now than they did when I was a kid, I felt that she needed to have the facts. (She was 12 at the time.) The conversation actually started about the menstrual cycle, because I wanted her to be prepared, and she started asking questions that led to a full on discussion.

ETA...I also laid out my expectations/beliefs/values regarding sexual activity. And, though there are some who frown at me for it, I did tell her that if she ever DID become sexually active (despite my preference that she not), I wanted her to feel comfortable enough to come to me about it, and that I would make sure she was protected from pregnancy and STD's. Honestly I figure that if she IS going to have sex, I'd rather know she's safe by providing her with birth control, than let there ever be an excuse that she was caught in the moment without any protection.

[kim21673]

My oldest...well, he knows EVERYTHING unfortunately........sigh

Two of the boys know that mommy and daddy made a baby and the baby grew in my tummy. They know that mommies have girl parts and daddies/boys have boy parts...they do know correct terms and the differences. They know about periods because they constantly walk in on me when I use the bathroom and know what tampons are fo. The two middle ones are almost 6 and 4.5. They also know how the doctor gets the baby out of mommies....that wasn't a fun conversation!! I sure hope I have a few more years until I have to have the talk...and then I will direct them to daddy!! LOL

Oh...and they know that if they touch their penis they can make it grow! LMAO Oh the joys of boys!!!

Derek could care less...he's only 19 months! LOL

[jessica31876]

Sally that is exactly what I did too. I also let her know the health dept will give you free condoms without any questions so there would be no excuse. My son was not dating yet so we never had that talk but when my youngest starts dating it will be the same thing I tell him. Come to me and Ill get them or go there and you can get them yourself. (Still told them I wanted them to wait until they were in a mature loving relationship and not to feel pressured to do anything just because everyone else was)

[Sherri Tierney]

My daughter knows more than most kids but less than others. We're kind of in the middle. She has been given straight answers to questions she has asked. I don't go overly in to detail unless I can tell it is warranted.

I am the one that gave my step-son (then 10) the talk. He was here when we lost our first baby and that led to a lot of questions about the development of babies (since we lost ours at 20 weeks I explained that he wasn't able to live outside of the womb yet) and that led to how babies are made because he very much wanted us to make another one right away. I can't remember the book title, but I checked a great one out from the library that answered all the questions very thoroughly and very matter of factly. I remember him asking one day in the grocery store 'when will you be ovulating next?' I was ready to die when he continued saying 'I want another baby you know!' LOL

We have always been really open with things but not overtly open to the point that we give kids more info than they are ready for, you know? We never used any slang words for body parts or any of that. I remember Caitrin blurting out to one of my friends in Walmart "you're a girl so you have a vagina just like me and my mommy do" She was about 2.5. LOL

[pewtertm]

Rachel, at 6, knows nothing about it. She's pretty immature so I'm glad we haven't gotten to that conversation yet.
That being said, she'll probably get the basic talk when she turns 8. My mom, my aunt, and I all hit puberty at 8 or 9...and Rachel's body type is similar enough that it wouldn't surprise me if she falls in line with the other girls in the family. So I definitely want to discuss things with her before she gets there herself.

[LoriJ]

My girls are 5 and 7 and they also know the mechanics of the whole thing. My 5 year old was asking a lot of questions and was not happy when I kept changing the subject so last year I sat them down with the aid of a book (not a great book but it was all I could find) and told them all the scoop. Bella my oldest was facinated with what a penis looked like - God help me when she is a teenager! And Lexi the younger one with all the questions just kept looking at the page of the woman giving birth and then said very slowly and clearly, "if that is how babies come out, I am NEVER having one!" They haven't really asked a many questions since.

[Ramona the Pest]

I've done the talk for 3 kids so far, all starting around the time they were 9-11. My first 2 were boys and I even went to their maturation program at school, with their dad. We all talked and still do talk very openly about things. When I talk with their sister about bras and tampons, we don't shield it from the boys, even though they act mortified. I figure that they will have wives some day and should understand now. The last thing I have ever wanted was for any of them to feel embarrassed or ashamed about something so wonderful and special.

With my daughter, when she was 8 or 9, I bought her the American Girl book about self. It covers great things about hygiene, body changes, everything. She loved it and learned so much just from that. It doesn't do any of the in depth stuff, but when she was ready for more, I was surprised how well she was prepared because of this book. I also loved that the book taught in great depth about respect for body and self-great lessons to build on!

[tsbegley]

We had an in-depth talk with my daughter a few months ago....she's 9.5. She is starting to develop (holy hormones, Batman! I thought that stuff started later!) and knew she would start hearing stuff at school soon. I got the American Girl book The Care and Keeping of You.

So we go through all the mechanics and she's basically horrified.

Two days later we are sitting at the table eating dinner and a friend of my husband was eating with us. We were having a discussion about funny sounding words. My daughter pipes up and says, "You mean like....p...p...penis? That's a funny sounding word."

Thankfully my husband stayed calm because I literally had to bend over in my chair so she wouldn't see me laughing. And my husband's friend was taken off guard, to say the least.

It was priceless.

[maryinaz]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

Aww mom, you take away all the fun!

That's what moms are for when they are teenagers, right?

[lovely1m]

My son is 5 so I haven't had to discuss much, but after a friend's mom had a baby he kept asking me how the baby gets out of the mommy's tummy. I just answered, "With a lot of work." That's all we have really gotten into so far.

[mariewilcox]

Originally Posted by maryinaz

Although I'm the one saying to my oldest 2 when they head out the door "No drinking, no drugs, no sex!" LOL

Hahaha - this was me whenever Christopher walked out the door on the weekends! I would take another boy over another girl any day!

[rach3975]

My oldest boy (8 years old) knows that the dad puts a seed in the mom's body to grow a baby, and he knows what body part the man uses. That's all he's asked so far, and he isn't old enough for me to feel a need to volunteer info he isn't asking for. If he doesn't ask, I don't know when we'll talk about more. Probably depends partly on when he starts puberty or if he's hearing things through friends or classes.

My 6 year old may know everything my oldest does. He was around during most of the conversations, but he wasn't as interested. My 3 year old knows the correct body parts and that a dad and mom make a baby together.

[LJSDesigns]

Well, I had the talk with my son for the first time when he was around nine. By the time he was 12 we had the safe sex talk. Now my BF, who is a male, and I constantly argue about the sex talk for preteens. I think you need to tell them how to protect themselves and their partner from disease and pregnancy and he says you need to tell them not to have sex. Really, when has that ever worked? lol I think he is just more embarrassed about it than I am. I have always told JT that sex is natural and beautiful but needs to be taken extremely seriously.

My parents sheltered me way too much when I was younger and I wanted to be sure my son was better prepared than me. The pressure to have sex can be extremely intense for teenagers.

[lee69]

My daughter is 9 1/2 years old and a few months ago I gave her the book "It's Not the Stork" from Chapters. We read it together and now she has had that book in her night table to reead. There is a couple of age categories for the book and we have them both. I wanted her to learn it from me and especially be prepared for her monthly cycle! (Yikes)

PS - LOVE, love your templates!!!

[JulieB146]

I remember buying a book at Target for girls about their changing bodies--I figured my daughter would be able to anchor her questions about that and ask me for more detail later, if she felt the need. She was about 9 or so when I gave it to her? My mom gave me a book, too, when I was a kid, but NEVER actually talked to me about stuff. She was totally embarrassed about it, and awkward.

So, over the years, my now 15 year old & I have had talks here and there when she wants to know. She shuts me down when she doesn't want to hear anymore. And fortunately she trusted me enough to tell me when she and her boyfriend started having sex. I'm lucky in that my next door neighbor has a decent relationship with her daughter, and my daughter wants the same thing. However, we have not told her father. It's the ONLY thing I'm willing to omit.

My eleven year old son, on the other hand...forget it. I have NO idea what he knows or doesn't know, or even if he cares at this point. Right now, the computer is his main love. We'll see what happens in middle school next year, when he meets girls who are as into computers as he is! I have tried here and there to give him off-handed information. I think my husband is going to have to have The Talk with him sometime soon.

[kristijoy]

My son is 5. He knows that girls and boys have different body parts. He knows that Mommy's carry babies inside of them and nurse their babies with breasts. So far we've used the real words with him for everything. He hasn't asked yet about the mechanics, but I'm sure he will someday. My husband is very frank with him. Sometimes I hear them in the other room and their are having a 'guy' discussion!

And Darcy...regarding the legos. I have an engineering background. Some of the technical terms that everyone uses for engineering parts (cables, connectors) are 'male' and 'female'. I had to catch myself from referring to the wooden train track connectors as male and female!!

[kristijoy]

Originally Posted by Loriebug66

Well, I had the talk with my son for the first time when he was around nine. By the time he was 12 we had the safe sex talk. Now my BF, who is a male, and I constantly argue about the sex talk for preteens. I think you need to tell them how to protect themselves and their partner from disease and pregnancy and he says you need to tell them not to have sex. Really, when has that ever worked? lol

My Dad was great. He said "protect yourself". He wasn't going to pretend to be more 'moral' than he himself was.