Less guilt...more scrap

[Darcy Baldwin]

I'm posting this here because it's something that I've been struggling with a long time, and I feel a lot of others do, as well. The 365 project really helps contain some of the issues, but I'm not a 365 photographer (though I may be talked into a 52 week photographer next year). The pressure to scrap everything sometimes makes me stop scrapping.

Less Guilt - More Scrap!
from Somewhat Muddled Musings

It’s okay not to scrap every picture.

Really, it’s okay.

I started scrapping about 7 years ago, and felt that I had to capture every single moment we got down on film, plus those we didn’t. I had scrapper’s guilt if I ever thought to toss a photo (not a bad photo, but a photo of ‘something). I’ve done pages and pages of photos of things I was never attached to, in hopes that I was being the good mom and capturing every single moment of my sons’ lives, making sure to leave nothing out, for fear of doing it wrong, or being a bad memory keeper.

Because I’m having memory problems as an adult, I’m fearful that when my boys begin to really be interested in their history, I’m going to have forgotten stuff (the same way my mother did). So memory keeping to me is two-fold. It keeps me occupied now with a craft and an outlet to create and keep our memories, as well as a lifesaver for me down the road if ever we need it.

But this week I realized..it’s okay if I don’t scrap that page about them being at the park for the 3rd time this month. Or the 4th TKD tournament where they were only there to help out, weren’t really competing. Or the 100th time we did something for school and I can’t seem to not get it on ‘film’.

And then I had a realization. I’m only getting down part of their life. There are parts of their life with their Dad that I’m not around for because it’s their special times. I’m just not going to be around for everything, and I can’t make up by scrapping every single thing that I ever take a photo of.

That doesn’t mean I want to give up scrapping – not by any means! But it does allow me to be a little freer in my creativity. It does allow me to be more meaningful. It does allow me to take those moments and cherish them on paper, and spend time on them..not feeling the need to rush because I have 40 more photos of that same event to scrap. I can use those photos that I’m not scrapping to illustrate other memory pages that I don’t have photos for but want to capture the memory. For me, the memory is as important if not more important than the photos. The stories last in their hearts longer than the photos can stay in their heads. It’s so very important for me to be sure they have their stories, and I’m grateful if I have a photo to help illustrate.

So today I jump into a new era of scrapping for me. I’m diving into the stories more, letting the guilt slide from my shoulders another few centimeters, and finding a new joy in my chosen hobby…less guilt, more scrap!


I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[newfiemountiewife]

I've long given up on scrapping "everything". My son was 7 before I started scrapping (the other two were 5 and 3), so it's difficult for me to scrap with the "now" stuff and the "old stuff" at the same time.

I tend to scrap for my CTs mostly, but at the same time, try to capture just every day moments, the best I can. I find more joy in those pages, where it was just them having fun outside or whatever. I actually haven't scrapped very many of their birthdays or Christmases, for some reason. I just want to capture who they are as people, the things they loved. That's what's important for me.

[ColleenSwerb]

I feel "behind" and I don't even have kids. I haven't scrapped our trip to Mexico, or barely any of our wedding or honeymoon or the countless other projects and albums that I want to do. I've never had the mindset of having to be "caught up", and it's only been in the last year or so that I've realized how freeing that is for me. So many people scrap to get caught up and don't enjoy it as much as they could or should. I hope that I don't ever feel the pressure (from myself of course) to scrap the same thing 2 or 3 times for each of my kids, or to make sure everyone has an equal number of pages, or to try and figure out what page goes where or who gets what album. I hope to keep digital copies of everything and when my kids are old enough, they can print what they want. I don't need that pressure to make it all perfect for them. They'll be able to handle that sort of thing on their own I think, when the time comes.

Welcome to a new era Darcy I hope you enjoy it!

[DawnMarch]

I totally agree. I was thinking about this the other day when we were heading out to go bowling and I was debating whether to bring my big clunky camera. I decided NAH, I've scrapped us bowling a couple times and do we really need 3 full spreads of us bowling when it's something we do maybe twice a year?

[MamaBee]

it is something that I battle with, too... I want to scrap the everyday that I forget to scrap the very basic things like birthdays and holidays. I need to find a balance to do both... I also have to stop being such a perfectionist on my pages on my non-CT pages... and just scrap to get the story down... but no, every page has to be perfect! ugh!

[Darcy Baldwin]

I'm going to say this as a huge shocker..coming from a designer. It was so freeing to get off CT's

At least the CT's where I felt I was having to perform and couldn't scrap my memories in my style. Pages became mine, again

Col..thankfully, I'm like you - the boys can divvy up those books when I die. I scrap for me, honestly, and hope they'll find use out of them later. I know they enjoy them now, but they're really for me. In the future, they can just divide and copy

[MommaTrish]

I never came in to this wanting to scrap every single moment. Matter of fact, most times I don't even scrap holidays. They'll have those pictures and really unless something big happens, to me, it's just not something I feel I have to scrap. I much prefer just everyday sorts of things.

[MommaTrish]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

I'm going to say this as a huge shocker..coming from a designer. It was so freeing to get off CT's

At least the CT's where I felt I was having to perform and couldn't scrap my memories in my style. Pages became mine, again

I thought I would HATE it when I dropped all my CTs to just be on one, but I love it so much more. I get more pages for me done and don't feel like I have to scrap things I normally wouldn't.

[aggiefamily]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

I'm going to say this as a huge shocker..coming from a designer. It was so freeing to get off CT's

After being off of CTs for a long time and not really scrapping at all, I joined a couple teams just for the motivation. Getting to use great products is a bonus!

For me the pictures capture the memory. The scrapbook page is just the icing on the cake. I don't need a layout for every single moment of our lives. I am not capable of scrapping every moment. My brain does not work that way. My layouts hit the high (and low) notes and help me express the moment in ways I never could in spoken words or in a photo. But no, I don't stress about what I have not scrapped.

My main goal is to keep taking pictures and get those in albums/books. Every year I make a year in review book for the grandparents. I print 2 extra that will be the boys one day.

[Stacey42]

I've been going on this premise for awhile now. And at the begining of the month I decided I don't need to photograph everything my kids do. I've been to 4 'events' so far this month with no photos at all. It's a weird combination of guilt & liberation, leaning more toward the liberation.

Now, that said we are making fossil cookies with the dinos today and I will be taking pics and probably I will be scrapping it. But 1 out of 5 is an improvement.

[newfiemountiewife]

If I didn't scrap CT pages, I probably wouldn't scrap LOL. I just kind of need that push, but that's just me! I could be on 10 CTs and keep up, but if I had to scrap 40 pages a month of stuff I wanted to, I know I couldn't do it. I work better under pressure

[luckyme]

I scrap about 20-25 pages a month for me (not good enough to be on CTs, haha!). I really don't feel bad about not scrapping everything. I just scrap what I feel like it. Sometimes it's something that happened this week, sometimes it's something that happened four or more years ago. I use pictures to jump-start most of my pages -- so I let my cursor drop somewhere in my pics folder and see which ones jump out at me and inspire me to scrap. I take a lot of pictures though for different reasons -- it could be a moment that I know I want to capture (like my daughter's 1st day of school) or it could simply be the light is really nice and I want to practice with my camera. But I have no expectations that they'll all be scrapped! *shudders* I'd never leave my computer if that were the case, haha!

[KateD]

I don't keep photos in an album, so for me the scrapbooks are our photo albums. I totally used to stress about documenting everything and I really don't anymore. I had been planning to do a set of family albums and books for both of the boys, but now I'm just happy to get the family albums done. I'm not sure if I'll print out an extra photobook for the boys, or just keep the digital files so that they can print what they want when they're older. I'm leaning towards printing three copies of each yearly book, because it really is a record of our life as a family and how we all fit together. That's how I feel today, tomorrow I could feel differently...

[g8rbeckie]

Originally Posted by MommaTrish

I thought I would HATE it when I dropped all my CTs to just be on one, but I love it so much more. I get more pages for me done and don't feel like I have to scrap things I normally wouldn't.

DITTO...I loved all the designers I used to CT for, but having kits that I had to use each week dictated what pics I could scrap.

Also, I was going to say that we burn CDs with all the pics from the year to a disc, and I then put that disc on a page in the album. So ALL THE PICS ARE THERE!! sorted chronologically in folders, so the kids can see all 1,423 pcs from Christmas if they want to

So I totally just scrap based on what I feel like scrapping, nothing more - nothing less

[nun69]

Originally Posted by newfiemountiewife

If I didn't scrap CT pages, I probably wouldn't scrap LOL. I just kind of need that push, but that's just me! I could be on 10 CTs and keep up, but if I had to scrap 40 pages a month of stuff I wanted to, I know I couldn't do it. I work better under pressure

this is me!!! but I also scrap the everyday and the holidays...but I pick the holiday pics that I want to scarp I didn't really scrap alot of Christmas morning pics but I scrapped pics of the kids decorating the tree...I am trying to keep up with my P365...I am a little behind, but I do what I can and I keep on going!! If I catch up, then I will...if I don't then I don't The best part is seeing my teenager interested in my pages and saying "mom can you do some pages of me and so and so"...

[luckyme]

Originally Posted by nun69

The best part is seeing my teenager interested in my pages and saying "mom can you do some pages of me and so and so"...

I LOVE when my daughter asks me to put such-and-such in the scrapbook! Totally makes my day. I also love to see her flipping through my printed scrapbook albums. I enjoy the process of scrapping for myself, of course, but there's something so sweet about seeing my own kid's going through them and chatting about things we've done together.

AND sometimes even my DH will ask for a page about something he did. Love that! We're all fairly equally represented in the scrap albums...

[MamaBee]

Originally Posted by newfiemountiewife

If I didn't scrap CT pages, I probably wouldn't scrap LOL. I just kind of need that push, but that's just me! I could be on 10 CTs and keep up, but if I had to scrap 40 pages a month of stuff I wanted to, I know I couldn't do it. I work better under pressure

LOL...this is totally me, too! It's a double edge sword for me... I notice that if I don't have a CT requirement, I go days without scrapping... and then I'm crabby. Now, I need to have someone put the pressure on me to scrap my vacation albums...

[newfiemountiewife]

Originally Posted by MamaBee

I notice that if I don't have a CT requirement, I go days without scrapping... and then I'm crabby.

This is me exactly! LOL!

[ColleenSwerb]

I already know that I'm not going to print copies of yearly albums for my kids. Since I'm already a scrapper, by the time they move out and go to college they would have at least 18 albums. I know that *I* wouldn't want to have 18 albums of myself to lug around from place to place after college. That's why I'm confident I'll keep the digital copies and they can divy up the rest. They'll each get a 1st year/Baby book of their own, but otherwise I'm not gonna stress about it. I feel bad when people post in the forums asking how many books to print, or how to divy up pages or what books to make for their kids. Yearly albums are for me, just like scrapping is for me. They just get the benefit of it later on down the road, kwim?

Also, quitting my CT's was totally freeing for me too, especially as a hybrid artist.

[heathergw]

Originally Posted by MamaBee

It's a double edge sword for me... I notice that if I don't have a CT requirement, I go days without scrapping... and then I'm crabby.

this is me too... although, the portfolio helps

I find that I'm still scrapping for myself with my CTs... I just usually edit the pics to fit the kit instead of finding pics to fit a certain theme... that's the nice thing about the designers here, the kits are sooooo full that you can easily get away with scrapping a page that doesn't fit the theme of the kit, KWIM?

oh and telling the story... that's the biggest change I've made in the last few months... I enjoy my pages and enjoy scrapping so much more if I add the story somewhere on the page... if I don't then I feel like something's missing and the story really is what I want to remember and make sure I share with my kids in the future, not necessarily the pics.

[ColleenSwerb]

Story telling is soooooooo important. In the last few months I've really made a point to try and do more story telling pages, and less pretty/fluffy pages.

[KateD]

[QUOTE=g8rbeckie;715045]Also, I was going to say that we burn CDs with all the pics from the year to a disc, and I then put that disc on a page in the album. So ALL THE PICS ARE THERE!! sorted chronologically in folders, so the kids can see all 1,423 pcs from Christmas if they want to [QUOTE]

We keep all the pics, too, and I'll probably put the DVD's with all of the year's pictures (and completed LOs) in the back of the printed photobook. Disks can go bad, though, and I just can't feel comfortable that I have a memory safely recorded until it's printed out on a page. Of course, fire and flood can destroy the printed books, so nothing is really safe... I really need to do the best I can to protect the memories and let go of all the worrying...

[profiler_mar]

I so agree with all of you....I scrap what I can. But I fear when I have my own kids I will think I have to scrap every moment. I think I am getting enough practice with my nieces though and I will not be so obsessed. I hope! Bwahahahaha!

[scrap2day]

You won't regret concentrating on the stories. That's the way I scrap now and I love it. I find it much more meaningful and my photos end up being the 2nd thought.

I also love hearing that some of you are so happy that you quit your CTs. I had once thought that would be a goal for me but I don't have an artistic eye so I'm never really going to get there unless I was only using templates...and even then it's probably a stretch.

I'm working on p365 but I'm not doing it every day. And frankly, we went on a five/six day vacation where we drove through multiple states in one day plus hit an amusement park twice and zoo twice and I included the best pictures from that trip to cover about 2 1/2 weeks. The perfectionist in me is fighting it because it didn't happen on exactly that day but I love the pictures and frankly the days surrounding were probably taken up with laundry and unpacking and catching up and I have enough of those pics.

Oh cr*p. I'm just realizing that I threw out the soda cups this morning that were lined up on the kitchen counter. I was wondering why they were still there. Now I remember that in the car on the way home I said that I wanted to take a photo of the cups for p365 because it was the first time I had a burger at a Five Guys since I lived in PA -- and I didn't want to whip out my camera last night at dinner. LOL!

So, if anyone has actually read this book that I've written and is still here, I would definitely recommend doing some form of p365. Even if it is just capturing highlights of your year week by week or month by month. It is really fun to go back and look at some of my p365 pages and realize that I had already forgotten some of the things that happened this year.

[nun69]

I totally LOVE the idea of making a CD/DVD of all the pics throughout the year and puttin gthem in the back of your printed album/paper scrapbook!

I also paper scrapbook chronologically and LOVE it...but I only do yearly family albums and vacation albums and those are for ME! When I die the kids can fight over them!!! I will probably let them go through and pick the digital pages that they like and print them their own individual albums, but other than that...naahhhhhhh I'm good I do also print and put pictures in photos albums [like Vegas, family vacations, etc] because my kids really like to look through their photo albums...but when I organized my new scrap room, I have probably 30-40 photo albums and they are really only from the oldest 2 kids {and our tour in Sicily} and they are 17 and 9 now! My littelst is 3 and I only have pictures printed of him until he was about 6 months old! So I only print what I want to cronologically scrap now and keep on going

[Darcy Baldwin]

Originally Posted by ColleenSwerb

Story telling is soooooooo important. In the last few months I've really made a point to try and do more story telling pages, and less pretty/fluffy pages.

They don't have to be mutually exclusive

[ColleenSwerb]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

They don't have to be mutually exclusive

I meant pretty/fluffy in the journaling sense, lol. My bad. Less "I love you sooo much" and more "these are the little things you do that make me love you", or "you do this and it drives me INSANE but I love you anyway". LOL! KWIM?

[jacinda]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

I'm going to say this as a huge shocker..coming from a designer. It was so freeing to get off CT's

At least the CT's where I felt I was having to perform and couldn't scrap my memories in my style. Pages became mine, again

Ah, see, now with me, I only apply for CT's where I'd actually use their designs anyway. Darcy's fonts, Kristin's kits, Cindy's templates - these are all designs I bought and used before getting on their CTs. Every one of my CT pages is exactly what I want in my family's albums. I don't have time to make pages that mean nothing.

[sprauncey1]

I have to say that I do good with this for a while and then I regress. I guess it is a factor of my personality. I like completion, I don't like things partway done. The Library of Memories way drove me nuts, but at the same time I know I can never be caught up by scrapping every photo either. I do say that when I want to get a page done with basics only there (photos, story, etc) I pick up one of my templates from Janet or even (cough cough) Darcy or a simple freebie and get it done. Sometimes simple is best. Other times I want the grandeur of the layered, cluster page and pull out my Cindy or other fabulous cluster template. And sometimes I don't scrap at all. I think after 6.5 years of digital scrapbooking I have learned that it all ebbs and flows and as long as I don't stop making memories and enjoying the now...it is all going to work out.

[HeatherB]

I'm with Jacinda - I only CT on teams whose products I love and use. And I figure only 1 page out of 40 would be something I scrapped because I had to, and not because I wanted to.

I've been scrapping the stories behind the photos. I have a terrible memory and I don't want to end up with a box full of photos that don't mean anything to me in 20 years (forget that - they won't mean much in 2 years my memory is so bad!). My dh lost both his parents when he was a teenager, and all he has from his childhood years is a bunch of rather meaningless photos in a box and no stories at all to go along with them. It is really sad.

And my boys aren't going to want to look at a bunch of fantasy pages with them inserted into crazy scenery. One or two pages maybe (I scrapped them into some of their favourite made-up bedtime stories), but certainly not page after page after page. But that's just them - I know a few friends who have girls that adore the whole concept of seeing themselves written into stories. So since I'm scrapping for my boys as much as for me - that focuses me on scrapping more real-life and less art journaling or fantasy. It's not more important, it is just more relevant to my guys, kwim?

As for the guilt - I figure I'm not going to regret that I only got photos from 200 days out of 365. What I would regret is giving up entirely because I couldn't do all 365.

I keep a folder Photobook2010 where I copy the best of the best photos as I transfer them from my camera. At the end of the year, we'll write this to DVDs to give to family for Christmas gifts, and save copies for both our boys. We did this for 2009 and it worked out well. Plus makes it easier to find the photos when I get around to catching up on Project 52!

[monsu]

Interesting thread, Darcy, and obviously one that we can all relate to!
I don't have children, so I don't know who will be interested in my pages in the future.
This means I just scrap FOR ME!!
I personally like the extra motivation CT's give me, especially if they complement my style!
I used to be a member of a store CT, and I left because there were several designers' products that were hard for me to scrap with!
Now, if sometimes a product doesn't 'speak' to me, I tend to create a hybrid card. That usually works out fine!

The best tip I ever recieved about feeling 'behind' was, Scrap the NOW, beacuse that's what you remember best. If you want, you can always go back in time.
We will never be able to document EVERYTHING, so why stress out trying?