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  #1  
Old 05-20-2009, 04:08 PM
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Default SAHMs: How long are you home alone with the kids?

My DH leaves at 7am, and he's home around 6:30. By the time he changes and takes a few minutes to eat something, it's more like 7 by the time he's ready to join the family, and the kids are usually asleep by 8. He leaves about the time we wake up, and in the evening he's with us for cleanup, snack, and bedtime. I'm bored--I find myself wanting to read or scrap when I should be playing with the kids or getting something done. It's happened before and I know I'll snap out of it within in a few weeks, but it got me wondering how long other moms are home alone with the kids.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:10 PM
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DH goes to work at 6 am and gets home around 5 pm. The boys wake-up at around 7-7:30am and they got to bed 7-7:30pm. But when DH is home he is FULLY engaged and he does their baths. I can't complain really, but some days do feel longer than others.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:18 PM
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My husband has made a deal with his boss a few years ago and switched his work hours so he can be home more. My hubby works from 5am-4pm and is home by 4:30pm. It doesn't come without sacrafices because he sure gets tired and wants to go to bed by 9pm.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:18 PM
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DH leaves the house around 6 (sometimes earlier than that) and is home by 5:30pm. Once my DH is home he is very engaged with our son. Caleb gets up around 7am and naps at 1:30. Sometimes I feel like you, where all I want to do is scrap and not really play with my son. I am glad I am not the only one who feels like that.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:24 PM
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Mine leaves around 5:30am and gets home anywhere from 4:30 to 9:00. LOL! Everyday is different. Right now the days are fine. I know when school gets out the days will seem like they drag on and on.

But on the weekends I get all the free time I want. So I try not to complain. Too much.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:24 PM
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Dh leaves the house at 8am, and gets home around 5.30pm. Ava goes down for the night at 8 - 8.30, so he gets about 2.5 - 3 hours of playtime/parenting with her a day.

When he gets home, its a unwritten agreement that he's the parent, and I can do my own thing. I usually make a meal, but he does the bathing, playing & discipline during the evenings. It works out good for us .
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:28 PM
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Mine goes all kinds of times, sometimes he works 8 am to 6 pm, sometimes it's 4 pm to midnight, sometimes it's 7 pm to 4 am...all in one week. It really varies.

He does his best to help with the kids when he is home, but yes, sometimes I just want to tune out and go scrap or goof off. Especially when it's been many days in a row that I'm home alone with them. I get bored playing Little People, ya know?

But he's a cop, and this is what I signed on for, so I'm used to it now.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:36 PM
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Mine leaves for work at 6 and comes home at around 5. Some days (like today) feel a lot longer than others. When he gets home he cooks dinner (most nights) because he actually LOVES to cook. And I love that he loves to cook because it's not always my favorite thing. I do the cleanup and then we play with the girls together. We usually split up bathtime and bedtime. All in all, I can't complain (doesn't mean I don't occasionally, lol) - especially since I don't have to go to work everyday. It's a hard job being a parent, but I feel so blessed to be able to stay home with my girls

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Old 05-20-2009, 04:40 PM
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Wow lets see...The first 10 years of my marriage my husband worked so much I told him why do you bother to have a family.....Now in the past 3 years its gotten sooooo much better. He leaves anywhere from 7 to 8 am and gets home by 7:30 or 8 at night. Sometimes he still has his "late" nights where he has to be there til 10 or midnight But yeah I have done most of the child rearing and parenting in this family.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:45 PM
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My DH leaves before I even wake up..he's out the door at 5:30 every morning.

Our high schooler leave at 7:00 (I do NOT get up with him anymore).

Our two youngest (almost 3 and 2) wake up anywhere between 6-7 but they play in their room until 7:00am. So I have the angels from the time they get up until DH gets home which is typically around 4:30-5:00. Sometimes earlier, sometimes later...it just depends.

I work on Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday evenings once DH is home to watch the boys.

He usually helps with dinner if he is home in time but sometimes I get irritated that I am still the parent doing everything when he gets home. He sees them about 2 hours a day b/c their bedtime is 7:00. There are days that I wish he would just volunteer to give them a bath if it is my night to do so...my alone time doesn't start until they kids go to bed and by then I am too exhausted to scrap!

I *try* to give myself two hours in the morning to scrap...the boys are playing, bugging me, watching TV, etc...but I do get a few LOs done in that time. I also try and get something done while they are napping but that is usually when I shower and catch up on house keeping.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:45 PM
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My hubby works 3 on, 3 off, and he's at work by 6:30 am and not home until after 7, sometimes 8. He just got done with a training class that was 6 weeks long, and he was gone 5 days a week in another town.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:51 PM
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Andrew leaves between 8:15 and 8:30 every day, basically once the boys are off to school. They get home around 3:30 (except on Monday--they're home by 2 then), so I am alone with them for 2-4 hours on a normal day.

I'm the first to admit that I'm 1) very blessed and 2) quite spoiled. Andrew is extremely hands on with the boys and the housework. He does at least 90% of the work around here, something he set up from the start. He says there's no better way to get something done the way you want it done than by doing it yourself. I'm all for that.

Even with that, there are days (today for one--but he's on a business trip right now so I get no break) where all I want to do is crawl into my hidey hole and pretend there's no one around but me.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:52 PM
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Jay is gone by 6:00am and home around 7:30pm usually. L.J. wakes up around 7:00am and goes to bed between 8:30-9:00 (mainly because it's the only way to get "face" time with Daddy). Once Jay is home he does the showering, reading to L.J. before bed and then they usually fall asleep together on the couch. We NEVER eat together during the week which I hate, but it comes with him being the boss and me not having to work I guess. Luckily L.J. is in school 3 mornings a week or I would go nuts and he would watch too much TV. LOL
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:54 PM
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Oye. Well, DH works construction so it really varies. Right now he's leaving about 6 AM and is home anywhere from 5:30 till 7 PM. He's not working Saturday's yet but I'm guessing he will after Memorial Day. Usually around June or July he works STUPID hours. He gets the occasional midnights but he normally works 6 AM till 6 or 7 PM. He's laid off normally from November/December until March-ish. He gives our older daughter a shower at night while I get the "baby" ready for bed. He normally gets about an hour or so of "quality" time with us before the kids go to bed.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:58 PM
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He leaves around 8ish so he is here for breakfast, getting ready for the day. ... and he gets home around 6:30-7. He now has Karate 2-4 nights a week though and that is either @ 7:30 or 8:15.
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Old 05-20-2009, 04:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by emmasmommy View Post
Oye. Well, DH works construction so it really varies. Right now he's leaving about 6 AM and is home anywhere from 5:30 till 7 PM. He's not working Saturday's yet but I'm guessing he will after Memorial Day. Usually around June or July he works STUPID hours. He gets the occasional midnights but he normally works 6 AM till 6 or 7 PM. He's laid off normally from November/December until March-ish. He gives our older daughter a shower at night while I get the "baby" ready for bed. He normally gets about an hour or so of "quality" time with us before the kids go to bed.
This is my life.

Jeff is in that same line of work.. although I am not a SAHM. I shouldn't be in this thread, sorry.

Jeff leaves at 5 am, and gets home around 5-6ish normally. He does have a 2nd job, he works nights 2-3 days a week and then all day on Saturdays and every other Sunday.

During the winter, he's full time at his 2nd job.
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Old 05-20-2009, 05:14 PM
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Nick leaves at about 5:30 am (we all wake up at the same time so we spend a little time together in the am), then he gets home around 2:30, about the time my son (and sometimes myself!) are waking up from naptime
So we have from 2:30 til 9 together- though my son goes to bed a little earlier than that. When the baby comes, I wonder how the routine will change! It'll be interesting to see- but I really hope that my son's wake-up time changes! I'm praying I can get him to stay in bed until at least 7 am! 5 is WAY too early for me!!!! Sometimes, however, he tries to wake up at 4 am!!!! I refuse and make him stay in bed! lol!

I do work, but I work from home (running my own digi-shop) so I get to make my own hours! I usually "work" when my son's sleeping and after Nick goes to bed til I go to bed. I've been so tired lately from being pregnant, that I've been slacking lately though! I hope that changes soon, too! Maybe I'll get the baby & my son on the same sleep schedule and I'll be able to work then!!!! I hope!
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Old 05-20-2009, 05:17 PM
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Brian leaves about 6:15, but is home about 4:00 every day - he's a teacher. He's really good about helping in the evenings when he gets home!
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Old 05-20-2009, 05:23 PM
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my kids leave at 7:00/8:10/8:35 (three kids leave at three seperate times) after they leave it is just me and my husband here (he is not able to work anymore because of two bad car accidents). Before when he worked he left at 8:00 and got home around 5:30-6:00.
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Old 05-20-2009, 05:23 PM
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DH works from home with me... so I'm not home alone with Allie a lot. It's nice having him home.... but sometimes it feels like I have 2 kiddos to take care of.
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Old 05-20-2009, 05:29 PM
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Brent leaves for work at 8am and gets home at 5. He does about 75% of the cooking, but he really doesn't help much with the kids, which I do complain about quite a bit. I mean I know I'm lucky to be able to stay home with the kiddos, but I do get overwhelmed sometimes. Especially when he has band practice (which he usually does once a week). Now that the weather is warmer, he'll be gone to gigs and jams a lot more often and we don't have a regular sitter other than my Mom...so that means I'm stuck at home with the fartblossoms ALL the time. There are days (like today, actually...see photo below for one of the reasons) where I just want to run away and take a break! I truly wish he helped out more, and I've asked him to, and he does ok for a while, but then it's back to the same old routine. So frustrating! I'm hoping it'll get better as the kids get older - like when my daughter will be old enough to babysit in a couple of years!

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Old 05-20-2009, 05:37 PM
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I am pretty lucky. My hubby does shiftwork which has its good and bad points. More good than bad though I think.

He works 2 days, 2 nights then 4 off. He works 12 hour shifts and has to go early to catch the bus to work. He leaves the house at 5:45 am and doesn't get home until 8 pm. Sometimes those days feel really really long (especially in Lucas's early days!) His night shifts are the same just leaves at 5:45 pm and gets home at 8am. He doesn't go to sleep until around 12-1 on his first night shift. Sleeps usually the morning of his 1st day off. So even though he is gone alot he is home just as much. One real downside is family dinners are usually crazy and not with him unless its his days off. He doesn't like to eat before he goes to work on his nightshift and obviously waiting with kids until after 8 to eat just isn't realistic.

He really is awesome with help though even with the long hours he puts in. He usually puts lily to bed on his dayshifts as its their only time they get to spend together those days. When Lucas was younger his bedtime was 7 and so on his dayshifts they wouldn't see each other at all, bed for him is an hour later now though so they play/cuddle for at least a few minutes now.

I'm so used to this sort of life/schedule though since my dad was a shiftworker all his life too.

Then on his days off its nice having 4 instead of 2 (well 3.5 technically since he has to sleep a bit on his first day lol)
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Old 05-20-2009, 05:39 PM
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My DH leaves for work at 6:30PM, and gets home about 5:30AM. If he goes straight to bed, he'll sleep until about 2:00PM; on the days he stays up till about 9:00AM, he sleeps until around 5:00PM.
During the week, for the most part, it's like he's either at work or asleep, and doesn't help much at all. He's good at helping on the weekends though...but I need my 'ME' time!!!
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Old 05-20-2009, 05:39 PM
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I can't complain, DH leaves around 5:15am and is home around 4pm. When he gets home it's all hands on and he does most of the entertaining for the kids after that time and will cook too.
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Old 05-20-2009, 05:45 PM
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Monday to Friday:
oldest kid out the door at 8, the two middles out the door at 8:15. I am out the door at 8:45 - Des gets up to be with the youngest while I am at work.
I get home around 12:30 from work (I work 9am-noon). Quinten, Des and myself have lunch together, and just chill until Des leaves for work around 1:30pm.
Des works 2:30-11pm, so I have the kids by myself from the time he leaves until they go to bed. During the week, the three older kids don't see Des, as he is at home when they are at school, and he is at work when they are home.
I get to help with homework, make dinner, clean the house, make sure the kids do their chores, have their showers, and get to bed - all on my own.

Weekends, we try to spend together, but the kids always want to be with their friends. lol
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:12 PM
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I'm lucky. He works mainly from 8:30 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. So he leaves at 8:00 a.m. and is back around 5:30 p.m.

Sometimes, he works other hours, like 5 a.m.-1:30 p.m. or 1:00 p.m.-9:30 p.m., but it's kinda rare.
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:14 PM
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I can't believe how many leave the house before 6!!! wow!!

Well, dh only works about 15 minutes away (at most) so he leaves a little before 8 and gets home by 5:30 usually. And he comes home for lunch 3-4 times a week too (which is a nice break for me). When he comes home, he'll watch the girls for me to finish making dinner, he cleans it up and plays with the girls until bedtime. And most night, he puts them to bed because I have to take care of Sadie (2 months).
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:23 PM
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:30 PM
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Interesting thread. My boys are 2 and 5 and I've never been a SAHM before now. I am lucky that my DH is a teacher, so he leaves at 7:15am and is home by 4pm, unless he's playing racketball and has lots of vacation time. I'm really worried I'm going to go stir crazy. I'm a total busy body.
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:41 PM
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My dh leaves about 8:30 and is home at 5:30. He does bedtime for the kids so I don't have to - it's very nice.

One comment....just because you are with your kids all day doesn't mean you have to entertain them every second. It's perfectly ok for you to take some time for yourself.
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:50 PM
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I am home alone with the kids and without a car for at least 14 hours every 4 days. Then he has 4 days off in a row each time....then works 4 more days....etc.
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Old 05-20-2009, 06:52 PM
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My DH is a teacher so most days he leaves around 8:15 (unless he has a staff meeting then it's earlier) which is the same time I leave to take the girls down to school. My oldest is in 1st grade so she's gone til almost 4pm while my middle kid is only in am preK so she's back @ 11am and then the 2yo of course is here ALL day long. DH usually gets home around 5:30-6:00 depending on what he has to get done in the classroom after the kids leave. He is usually pretty good about helping out with the kids once he's home until the girls go to bed around 8:30 and Kyle about an hour after that. The girls last day of school is tomorrow so after that all three will be home until mid-August and DH's school will be out at the end of next week so he'll be home until he has to report back to school in early August.
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Old 05-20-2009, 07:16 PM
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I'm a part-time SAHM - I work M-F from 8:30 to noon and then I'm home with the kids each day after that. Dh usually leaves for work at the same time as me but he doesn't get home until between 6:30 and 7:30 in the evening. And he farms "on the side" so that means that when it's light outside, he's out there. During the summer I can plan on him going outside shortly after dinner and not coming back in until at least 9:00. Weekends during the summer he's outside from 9:00 am to 9:00 pm. So basically, a LOT of the time it's just me and the kids at home. lol I refuse to entertain them 24-7 and they do a pretty good job of keeping themselves moving from activity to activity.
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Old 05-20-2009, 07:21 PM
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I stayed home with my son for the first 2 years of his life. My dh's schedules changes a lot and he can go on the road for months at a time or be home all day. There were many, many days I didn't want to do anything but sit around and scrap and do nothing else. I, too, got bored. I don't know if you can, but I would try to get out for an outing almost every day. The zoo, the park, the indoor play areas or the train table at Barnes and Noble. Just something.
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Old 05-20-2009, 07:21 PM
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DH and I are very alike - we want to do our jobs to the best of our ability - and as the bulk of our earned income comes from his direction, I have no room for complaint or argument.

That said - DS and I are together for 17-20 of the 24 hrs., 5 days a week, and DH does his best to not go into the office on the weekends. And yes, I pray constantly my lack of patience/spending that much time with me does not warp the kid.

I've adjusted our schedule - our son's bedtime is much later. Why make it 7pm? He goes to bed after he has had a chance to spend time with his dad, have his dad give him a bath and a story. And if the next morning we start the day at 10am, so be it. I tend to push classes, play dates, until later in the mornings, encourage naps; and will aim for later preschool and kindergarten.
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Old 05-20-2009, 08:10 PM
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we are all up between 6:30AM and 7AM. Dh and the girls get ready and DH fixes breakfast and then puts the girls on the bus at 8:20AM and he leave for work then. It's me and the 2 boys till about 3:45PM when the girls get home. DH can get home anywhere from 5PM till 8PM. Most nights he is home by 6PM. So anywhere from 8.5 hours to 12 hours I'm home with the kids. After he gets home it's dinner and usually playing with the kids. Then at 8pm he puts the girls to bed and I put the boys to bed.
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Last edited by mummytothree; 05-20-2009 at 08:25 PM.
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Old 05-20-2009, 08:20 PM
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It just depends. During busy season, he travels some (like now) and it's hard. He can be gone for a week (M-F) at a time. Sometimes it's only for 3-4 days. If he's not traveling, he leaves home around 7:30 and gets home around 6. He's a governmental auditor and travels all over the state. I have it made during off season, though, b/c he's home a lot--he works from home some and plays from home some. When he does go to the office, it's usually only from like 9-4.
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Old 05-20-2009, 09:16 PM
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oh and I forgot to say that my DH typically works 6 days a week.
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Old 05-20-2009, 09:30 PM
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Mine leaves around 7am and comes home around 5-ish. But he usually goes straight to the computer or straight to the kitchen to start dinner.

It's really hard for me... mine are 2 and 10 months, so they're constantly on me alllllll day.
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Old 05-20-2009, 09:32 PM
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My husband works out of town. He leaves early Monday morning and is home at the earliest Thursday night. He usually gets home Friday morning and sleeps that day because he has worked and drove through the night to get home. Some weeks are good and some are bad.
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Old 05-20-2009, 09:35 PM
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Since May 20 last year up until next Wednesday...I've been with my kids alone 24/7 7 days a week lol. Yeah..it makes for some seriously LONG days. But he's in Mississippi, and he's comin' home!!! lol
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Old 05-20-2009, 11:08 PM
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My kids are up early (5.30-6am) so I head out to the gym at 5am and am home just after 7am. DH feeds the kids and gets them dressed so they are all ready for me to come home have a shower and take the eldest to school at 8am. DH leaves within minutes of me arriving home. DH then gets home usually no later than 5.30pm and we all have dinner together. He then showers/baths the kids while I clean up dinner. All the kids are in bed by 7.30-8.30pm.
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Old 05-20-2009, 11:15 PM
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He leaves at 6 AM on Monday and gets home at 7 PM on Thursday evening. Not the easiest life but we've been doing it for a year now and I'm getting used to it.
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Old 05-20-2009, 11:42 PM
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My DH is deployed to Iraq and has been since last July. He is due home in August. I am thankful that my kids are not little anymore. I am not sure if I could handle 3 small children with him being gone for a year. It is hard enough as it is. My kids are 10, 14, and 17.
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Old 05-20-2009, 11:46 PM
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DH leaves anywhere between 7 and 8am during the "off-season" and gets home between 6 and 7pm. During "busy season" he could leave as early as 6:30am and won't come home until between 10:30 and midnight. He's an auditor for a Big 5 accounting firm and so he has one REALLY busy season a year and maybe 2 more kinda busy seasons depending on clients

It was so nice when we were renting the apartment attached to my inlaws' house because I could take JT there to visit and have some grown up talk. However, I've survived 2 REALLY busy seasons since we moved a year and half ago. I just scrap a lot at night after the kiddos go to bed. JT is up around 7am and Isabella is usually up by 8am. They both go to bed around 8:30pm.
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Old 05-20-2009, 11:51 PM
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I have am home alone with my three kiddos all through the week. Hubby is out on the road weekly and home on the weekends.
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Old 05-20-2009, 11:52 PM
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My hubby is a truck driver so this varies. With his newest job he still goes out of town but not as long of hauls as his previous job(s). But IF we happen to get lucky and he is home he is usually up and gone before we get up and he usually isn't home until an hour before he has to go to sleep to get up to do it again.
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Old 05-21-2009, 03:23 AM
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My husband leaves to drop my daughter off at school and head to work at 7:45 and he is usually home by 4:30...
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Old 05-21-2009, 07:59 AM
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DH generally leaves around 7:30a & gets home at around 6:30p most nights & takes over parenting as soon as dinner is over. The boys are in bed around 8pm. He left this morning at 4:30a & probably won't be home until after 9p, that happens a couple times a month.

It got easier on me once DS1 was in pre-k 3 mornings a week and I had a little breathing space but those first few years were hard. One thing I did was accept I did not have to be playing with the kids all the time. They could entertain themselves in the room with me for 30 minutes while I am on the computer.
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Old 05-21-2009, 08:45 AM
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