#1
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I don't know what to do.
My mom's dog, who is now my dog, is about to turn 15 years old. He can't see much any more and he has nerve damage in his spine (he's a long dog and it happens when they get older) which means he can't walk very well if at all. I have been carrying him everywhere for about two years now and he seems okay with it.
Lately I've noticed that he whimpers when he is moving in his sleep and he sleeps more and more each day. He's harder to please and can be snippy with the other dogs. But he is still eating well and his plumbing is working regularly. Unfortunately. since he can't hold himself up, if he goes potty when I am not there, he gets it all over himself. I've put him in a diaper to help with peeing, but a diaper won't help with #2, so I am bathing him just about every day. He doesn't seem to mind it, and I don't mind it, but I wonder if it is fair to him. I know I wouldn't want to sit in my own mess every day. So how do you know if a dog is suffering? I know a lot of people might say if they can't walk they are suffering, but having had a father who could not walk, I don't equate that with life being over. He seems content to be carried and actually "calls" me when he needs something. I have to figure out if he is hungry, thirsty or needs to go outside, but he lets me know that something is up and he needs help. If he is still eating well and going to the bathroom, and lets me know when he needs to go, is he still having a good life? He still loves to cuddle and sleep on my lap, loves having a treat and sitting in the sun. Is that enough? I love this dog and I don't want to put him down, but I don't want to hold on to him if he is suffering. Has anyone had experience with this? What are the signs that I should be looking for? I really don't know what to do to be fair to him.
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#2
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Oh lorie, I’m so sorry, this is so hard! I think if you are both still ok with the daily bathing and carrying, you should just keep going. When something changes and he isn’t happy anymore, you will know. With our dogs, they stopped acting like themselves, like they’d already given up, and while it was a tough choice, we knew it was the right choice. Prayers for you!!
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#3
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Lorie it is never an easy decision to make, sending big hugs your way. As someone who has been owned by different dogs over many years, I can tell you it never gets easier.
When my Gilly was 13 and not doing well I had 'the talk' with the vet and he put it so eloquently and referred to my boy as 'vintage' rather than old, with his kind blue eyes and soft-spoken voice Dr. Steve said to me 'Gilly will let you know when it's time to let him go.' I profusely denied this stating I was selfish and would keep him until he passed on his own. Again, gentle Dr. Steve said 'unfortunately many times our beloved pets do not go on their own, they hang on because they know you need them, we have to give them permission.' Denial stayed with me as I loved that stubborn 'vintage' boy who had a legitimate reason for not listening to me now as he was deaf. One night laying in bed I went to the end where he always slept and look him in the eyes and asked him if it was 'time'. . . .he looked at me thumped his tail and licked my nose. I burst into tears but made the appointment the next day. A few days later I almost cancelled that appointment as the morning of he was like his old self again but I had a feeling he knew. Hard but I know it was the right thing to do as his body was giving up, he had lost 20 pounds and was throwing up what little he did eat and even drinking caused huge coughing spasms. My powerful 75 lb boy was only 55 lbs when I let him go. Sorry for the novel but it was the only way I could explain my experience. After all that, there is no easy answer, do what your heart tells you and take your cue from your little guy, he will let you know.
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#4
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Oh Lorie my heart breaks for you at this time. I know with Laddie I put it off because euthanizing our girl Bailey had been so hard on me. Key word “me” I wish I hadn’t been so selfish with Laddie and had let him go sooner as I am sure his last night with us was probably agony. It’s never an easy decision but think of it this way if it were you would you want to live that way? ((( hugs )))
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#5
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Hugs. It is such a difficult process to go thru with our aging pets. I know when my Sandy (golden retriever) started to lose weight, started sleeping more and couldn't support her hind legs well, the vet said her time was approaching but left it up to us to decide when that would be. He said as long as she was eating and elminating, we could take some time. But he warned us that dogs don't show pain like we do so if the eating lessened and she seemed more lethargic, then it would be time. I am grateful for the extra months we had with her. In the end, the decision was made for us as I noticed a bit of blood in some spit-up she did so we brought her in that afternoon.
My heart goes out to your family, it is such a hard time and even harder when you aren't sure when and if you need to make that decision for him. I think you will know when it is time though, you are watching and aware of any changes happening. Enjoy each day in the meantime.
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#6
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Oh no! That is so hard. I don't have much for advice, but just know that whatever you do, you know you are putting his needs first & no one would fault you for that!
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#7
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It's a hard decision to make or even face when you are talking about a beloved furbaby. I know you will do what is right by them and your family!! In the meantime you have my prayers and my love as you search for the answers you need
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#8
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So sorry Lorie... it's so hard. Sending you (((HUGS)))! I'm hoping your dog will let you know when it's time.
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#9
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Lorie,
This is really hard, but have you thought about talking to the vet? Is he been going to the same vet the last 2 years? Does he go frequently to the vet? You are being so courageous and loving thinking of his quality of life. Vets usually will tell it to you straight. When we had to let go of Kramer he was 16 and it PERFECT health but he had doggie Alzheimer. He would forget how to walk, go up the stairs or even how to turn around when he found himself at a corner between two walls. We did try alternative medicine with him for about a year or so and it would work for a few weeks and then we had to change to something new because it would stop helping. If you are economically able maybe try that. HUGS! |
#10
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Lorie, I don't have any words of advice, but know I'll be sending lots of warm thoughts to you. Such a dilemma for you! Hang in there - I'm sending hugs!
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#11
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Thanks for all the kind words and advice. Today we have had a good day and when we have good days, I think he is holding his own. He was very snuggly and loving.
I've taken him to the vet and he said much what you all have said, that I will know that it is time. I am just afraid I won't. Letting go is hard.
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#12
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I'm so sorry, Lorie. That's such a hard decision to make. I agree, that if he is okay with being carried and bathed, then he isn't really in pain from it. My prayers are with you
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#13
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Quote:
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#14
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Lorie...I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. I'm sure you want to have him as long as possible since he was your mom's pup. I imagine that makes this decision that much harder.
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#15
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Lorie, I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. We've been there too! Our 1st dog as a family was a wonderful dog, Max! We had him since he was about 1 or 2 years old. He grew up with my girls. But as he got older, he started having more issues. He wasn't walking, and when he did, it was very stiff and slow. He didn't seem to be in pain, but it was definitely a different "life" than he was used to. He had lived a very active life, and to just lay around and not walk as much as he had before, we knew he was failing. We ended up putting him to sleep rather than having him get too far gone where he was in constant pain. It was a hard decision to make, but the one that was for the best.
It is your decision. You know your pup better than any of us. We can't quite answer this for you, it has to be a decision you come to terms with and feel at peace with. You need to do what is best for him. Pets are different than people. They don't make nursing homes for pets to help them when life gets tough. God made them to take care of themselves (to an extent). You will make the best decision for him and your family. ((hugs))
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#16
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Sending you my positive thoughts as you go through this. You will know when the time is right.
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