Would you be offended if.......

[mummytothree]

I told you I wasn't comfortable with you driving my child home!?!?!

My oldest DS (6.5) was invited for a playdate tomorrow and they wanted it from 11 to 2. I told DH no (it was being set up through him) because I wasn't waking the littles from their nap to pick him up. I told him to suggest 10 - 12 or like 3 -5 and the reason being the kid's naps and my wife isn't comfortable with others driving our kids around and she needs to be able to pick him up. DH said he wasn't gonna say that because he thinks it would offend them!?!?!

I told him tough crap...if someone would get offended because of that I don't want my kid hanging around them in the first place!!! I thought it was ridiculous!!!

I would never ever get offended if any other parent said that to me. I mean it's their kid, they can do what they want with them!!

Thinking I might make this a poll so you don't have to tell me I'm crazy to my "face", you can do it anonymously Believe me I know I'm crazy!!!

[Darcy Baldwin]

I don't think I would be offended, but I would wonder what I had ever done to make you think your kids wouldn't be safe with me in the car, ya know?

[MamaBee]

Well... people are easily offended these days, but I wouldn't be... as a mama, I can understand the desire to control who drives my child home... if something happened, you would have to live with that. For me, only the grandparents...well, not my hubby's parents - I will not let J be alone with them (they drink a lot and my FIL in just plain clueless)... so only my dad, my mom, and step dad are allow to drive with my son in the car.

If others can't respect your feelings, then that's their issue.

[carriesmom]

I agree. I wouldn't be offended. I'm weird about my kids too and I really only like them being the car with certain people. I am assuming from your post that there is a specific reason you don't want them driving your kid back. Tough cookies if they have a problem.

[Megan Turnidge]

It might bother me if it seemed that you didn't want *me* specifically to drive your kids but it would not bother me at all if I knew you just weren't comfortable with *most* people driving your kids. So I'd word it in a way that's not targeted at her driving per say... (even if you aren't just comfortable with her specifically)

[adrianka]

I sure wouldn't be offended, as I don't have a driving license. *wink* Sorry for the silliness, just couldn't resist. :-)

[jessica31876]

I said other...my reason for this is if I was ok with them having him over without me there for two or three hours I would think it would be ok for them to drive my child home as well. I think each parent has their own degree of comfort in certain things though...like I hated my kids spending the night at other peoples homes and they rarely had sleepovers as a result. Just not something I was comfortable with.

Usually when I or my husband had to say something where we thought it might upset someone we were friends with like with what you are talking about we would just say that isnt a good time for us could we do it from xx-xx instead? And just not elaborate. No reason why they need to know why it isnt good for you KWIM?

ETA:and Id be sure to tell them call me if there are any problems and Ill come and pick him up or else Ill be here at this certain time to pick him up.

[Chantal Miller]

Originally Posted by adrianka

I sure wouldn't be offended, as I don't have a driving license. *wink* Sorry for the silliness, just couldn't resist. :-)

That's exactly what I was going to say

[jessica31876]

oh also wanted to add I live in a really rural area and most of my kids playdates were within blocks of my house. Id probably feel differently if they had to drive in heavy traffic or were farther away.

[neeceebee]

I would not be offended. Every parent has things that they really care about -- and if being in a car with someone is an issue for you. It's no biggie.

[SweetMelissa]

No I wouldn't be offended. In fact I rarely let others drive my kids around & if I do then I have to install their car seat and make sure they can properly buckle them in (my kids are younger).

[julia]

I'm a car safety nazi so no, I wouldn't be offended. I took my son out of preschool for 1 day when they had a field trip because I didn't like the way they had set it up with busses etc. My son is also rearfacing even though he turned 3 in April.

[Stacey42]

I said other because it would depend on how well I know you. If you are just the parent of a friend of my kid's then I wouldn't be offended. But if you were a friend of mine I might be, depending on how well we know each other.

[Lauramarie]

I would not want anyone driving my child around either and I think many parents feel that way. No reason they should be offended if worded right, kwim?

[scrap2day]

Originally Posted by mturnidge

It might bother me if it seemed that you didn't want *me* specifically to drive your kids but it would not bother me at all if I knew you just weren't comfortable with *most* people driving your kids. So I'd word it in a way that's not targeted at her driving per say... (even if you aren't just comfortable with her specifically)

What she said. I would just emphasize that this is one of your family "rules". Families have rules that don't make sense to others all of the time. As long as it doesn't seem like a comment on her personally it doesn't seem like it should be a problem.

[mummytothree]

Just and FYI...it's not just them, it's anyone. I don't let my kids in other people's cars, period!! I don't even like my hubby to drive them around without me. Not because I don't trust him...I just have this over whemling need to CONTROL EVERYTHING. They do go with him and I never say anything (because I know he would risk anything and everything for them) but I do worry the whole time!!!

I just don't understand...even if it was just that particular person. They are my kids...if I don't want you driving them that's my business! Maybe I saw their hubby at the bar and then drive home tipsy. Maybe I see the mom talking on the phone all the time or texting while driving. Maybe they don't buckle their seatbeat or their kid's aren't belted in. I'm gonna do what I have to do to protect my kids...if that offends someone that's their problem not mine!!

Oh and we aren't really "friends", I've talked to the dad 3 times and the mom twice. But even if we were really good friends I would think they would be even more understanding then most.

And I've actually never had anyone question me on this when ever it comes up with me, I just say "What time should I drop them off and what time should I pick them up." I don't leave room for negotiations!!

[newfiemountiewife]

I don't know....but if I left my child in your care for a length of time and trusted you enough for that, why wouldn't I trust you to drive them too (if you were told car seat situation ahead of time, or if I left the seat with you to use)? Presuming they don't have a criminal record or been on Canada's Worst Driver or something LOL

[brooke22]

I definitely wouldn't be offended.
Cars are dangerous, and while I dont mind my daughter being in someone elses car I can understand why other people aren't comfortable with it.

[maryinaz]

When my twins were in Kindergarten, a mom near us wanted to carpool and I just said no. I usually do the "I know, I'm weird, but I like to drive my own kids" type of comment.

But just wait until they are close to driving/driving and they want to ride with their friends. Now THAT is scary.

[nun69]

I agree wtih Darcy. I would wonder what I had done wrong. I am a very safe driver and my car doesn't even get started without everyone in a carseat{age and law requirements} and their seats belted....and I have been driving for over 20 years~

[jessica31876]

yes or riding WITH them when they drive...even scarier!! LOL (not really after you get used to your baby being old enough to drive but the first few times I was a nervous wreck)

Originally Posted by maryinaz

But just wait until they are close to driving/driving and they want to ride with their friends. Now THAT is scary.

[AmyG]

Originally Posted by mturnidge

It might bother me if it seemed that you didn't want *me* specifically to drive your kids but it would not bother me at all if I knew you just weren't comfortable with *most* people driving your kids. So I'd word it in a way that's not targeted at her driving per say... (even if you aren't just comfortable with her specifically)

^that

[deepounds]

I put "other" . . . and I agree with Darcy & Angie. If I knew you didn't want ANYBODY driving them, it wouldn't be an issue. But if I felt like you meant me specifically, I'd definitely wonder why.

[taracotta7]

Nope. I don't like Landon being in the car with anyone other than us or my parents at this point(and I will even tell other people that when they ask to take him somewhere). He is 6. I let him go do things but I always do the drop off/pick up thing. I am even one of those moms that won't let him ride in a school bus. I may be a freak but I would REALLY be a freak if something happened to him. SO, that is just me.

[rach3975]

I voted other. I'm not 100% comfortable with other people driving my kids, but I let them do it because my kids sometimes go places with friends and their parents, and I can't always come along. (Too hard with 2 others to bring and naps, etc) So while I don't let other people take my kids far, I've made my peace with shorter trips because I don't want my fears to keep my kids from having age-appropriate experiences. So if someone else told me they preferred to drive their own child, I wouldn't be offended. But if I didn't feel that way myself or thought they meant just me, I might be offended.

[Traci Reed]

I honestly would probably be offended. It's your right to define rules for your children but If you trust me enough to watch em, I'd be probably offended that I wasn't't responsible enough to drive them home, especially if it's not far. I'm no more likely to be t-boned than you are, kwim? but that's just me and I go on the offensive when it feels like people are questioning my abilities.

[jorgies5]

I marked other. This is an issue I have struggled with myself. If you honestly feel your child will be in greater danger by having someone else drive them home rather than yourself, then no, you shouldn't allow it as a parent. On the other hand, if it is a control/fear issue (which I have personally struggled with), I have learned that you just need to let it go and you need to trust people. There are times when pure panic sets in when I send them off with trusted family and friends who I know are perfectly capable drivers and I don't calm down until I know they are safe. Sometimes I have to rely on other people to get my kids places because I can't be in two places at once. Or when I send my 4th-grade son on a field trip on a 4-hour bus ride to visit the Grand Canyon with another 4-hour ride home. It is a horrible feeling, but I realize it is a control/fear issue on my part that I need to overcome, because I would hate for my kids to miss out on things because of my issues.

Whenever I drive other people's children around, I seem to go overboard to make sure they are buckled properly and drive extra careful, so I would probably be in the same camp as Darcy and wonder why someone wouldn't trust me.

[scrappurple]

I might be offended, because I am a normal, safe person. BUT I would totally understand!

[emmasmommy]

i picked other. i probably would be offended, just because i would take it personally...but that being said, unless i knew you personally, i probably wouldn't let you drive my child around. hypocritical, but honest.

[MommaTrish]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

I don't think I would be offended, but I would wonder what I had ever done to make you think your kids wouldn't be safe with me in the car, ya know?

Ditto

I've had to drive the boys' friends around a lot, and their friends' parents have driven them around also. It would never occur to me to say no someone couldn't. I mean I think the only person I've ever told no is my little brother. I told him that he couldn't drive them anywhere until he'd been driving for a year.

[profiler_mar]

I said other since it would really depend on the situation, but overall no I would not be offended and I don't think you are crazy!

[Andrea G]

Originally Posted by mturnidge

It might bother me if it seemed that you didn't want *me* specifically to drive your kids but it would not bother me at all if I knew you just weren't comfortable with *most* people driving your kids. So I'd word it in a way that's not targeted at her driving per say... (even if you aren't just comfortable with her specifically)

I agree with this!

[SeattleSheri]

It depends on how it was delivered to me. I wouldn't tell someone I didn't want them driving my kids, I would just tell them I prefer to pick them up and not give a reason why. It may sound like semantics, but it's an important distinction to me. I could definitely see why someone would get offended, since the insinuation is that you don't trust them. BTW, I've never let anyone drive my kids either.

[Angie4b1g]

Originally Posted by Traci Reed

I honestly would probably be offended. It's your right to define rules for your children but If you trust me enough to watch em, I'd be probably offended that I wasn't't responsible enough to drive them home, especially if it's not far. I'm no more likely to be t-boned than you are, kwim? but that's just me and I go on the offensive when it feels like people are questioning my abilities.

This + I probably wouldn't invite your kids over again. I have plenty of friends with kids who don't make me feel like I can't be trusted, I wouldn't go out of my way to have play dates with ones who don't. KWIM?

But, like Sheri said, if you worded it right so that it wasn't a "I prefer you not drive my kids" kind of statement, that might be different.

[maggie965]

This is me too, I think my son was about 12 or 13 before I let him ride with someone else or do a sleepover, and that was only because he had a phone. My daughter is 10 and she is rarely in the car without me and only has spent the night at her older brother's because my granddaughter is the same age.

Margaret

Originally Posted by Stacey42

I said other because it would depend on how well I
know you. If you are just the parent of a friend of my kid's then I wouldn't be offended. But if you were a friend of mine I might be, depending on how well we know each other.

[Sarah8914]

Originally Posted by Angie4b1g

This + I probably wouldn't invite your kids over again. I have plenty of friends with kids who don't make me feel like I can't be trusted, I wouldn't go out of my way to have play dates with ones who don't. KWIM?

But, like Sheri said, if you worded it right so that it wasn't a "I prefer you not drive my kids" kind of statement, that might be different.

Or even taking "you" out of it and just saying "I prefer to drive my kids."

[Kjersti]

Yes - when I'm babysitting/or have playdates I love to pile the kids in the car and go to a movie, to pizza, or to the park!!! If I was stuck at home I'd go nuts!!!

[Paula]

Originally Posted by Traci Reed

I honestly would probably be offended. It's your right to define rules for your children but If you trust me enough to watch em, I'd be probably offended that I wasn't't responsible enough to drive them home, especially if it's not far. I'm no more likely to be t-boned than you are, kwim? but that's just me and I go on the offensive when it feels like people are questioning my abilities.

This!! I mean if you are going to entrust me with your kid, then you should at least trust me 100%. Not just in my own home.