Not exactly that magical feeling I was anticipating.....

[ColleenSwerb]

Well, I finally, for sure, felt Swerbaby move this morning. After 10 days or so of "was that baby? I think it was baby, but it could just be muscle spasms or something...." I felt a definite body part pushing against my belly and my hand this morning.

And it freaked me the eff OUT!

And then 15 minutes later I had to run to the bathroom and get sick. And then again about an hour later. And then I had to go to a seminar/workshop all morning to continue collecting unemployment, which was a complete waste of time. And the LAST thing I wanted to do when feeling so awful. And I've felt awful all. stinking. day.

I feel kinda guilty. I always thought or assumed that when I felt the baby it would be some magical bonding moment that I would always treasure. Not a moment that I would freak out and be almost/kind of upset about. I just wasn't expecting to feel a foot/elbow/knee/whatever pushing against my belly like that. I didn't feel flutters. I didn't feel anything cutesy, it went from nothing to an alien in my belly trying to escape.

[Darcy Baldwin]

It'll get better Some nights - it'll be a game of tag . you push in...he/she pushes out..in a different place each time.

[lauren grier]

it's ok.. it totally weirded me out too.. it never felt cool- it felt like as you described, something was trying to escape. lol

[haydensmommy217]

I agree with Darcy it will get better and when your farther along you'll be able to see a hand print or a little foot or his or her bottom, But it will get better, it did feel like an alien trying to get out when i was pregnant with my son.

[Libby Pritchett]

Aww, I'm sorry it wasn't more magical for you, Col! I absolutely love the feeling, and sometimes I will lie on the couch and just enjoy the movements/kicks. The other night, I was cuddled up against Jeff in bed, and he actually felt her kicking his side through my tummy. We both thought it was awesome.

I hope you were just having a rough day and that it'll start to be more exciting for you! *HUGS*

[nikkiARNGwife]

Aw I'm sorry it wasn't as great as you expected..but I bet you'll like it more and more...it's really the ONLY thing I liked about being pregnant. Until towards the end..when they're really big and then it starts to be pretty uncomfortable when they're rolling around in there lol usually when you're trying to sleep.

[ColleenSwerb]

And now I'm like, an emotional mess for admitting this to the world, lol. ::sigh::
Pregnancy is just not like anything I expected. I don't know why this is throwing me for such a loop. I'm happy that now I can feel him and know that everything is ok in there (not that I was very worried in the first place).
I know that once I get used to it happening more often, I'll grow to enjoy it and look for it to make sure everything is ok, and maybe even possibly love it. I just feel AWFUL that I felt so horrified by it this morning.

[Kat Stokes]

You two are not helping..... I'm at that "oh, maybe just one more" phase but DH says NO. Of course this is after he commented three weeks ago that he'd love to have a little girl. My clock is ticking again............... SIGH......

ETA: Col, do not feel bad. Some women never experience that "wonderful" pregnancy but you will love your baby no matter what. Don't stress over it. Just try to enjoy what you can and say "tomorrow will be a new day" to what you can't. <3

[scrapweaver]

Originally Posted by ColleenSwerb

And now I'm like, an emotional mess for admitting this to the world, lol. ::sigh::
Pregnancy is just not like anything I expected. I don't know why this is throwing me for such a loop. I'm happy that now I can feel him and know that everything is ok in there (not that I was very worried in the first place).
I know that once I get used to it happening more often, I'll grow to enjoy it and look for it to make sure everything is ok, and maybe even possibly love it. I just feel AWFUL that I felt so horrified by it this morning.

Dont feel awful - it's totally normal! Being pregnant entitles you to lots of things, like being emotional and freaking out over stuff you never thought you would, also being able to eat weird combinations of food that make other ppl sick . . there's good and not so good, but in the end it will be VERY GOOD

[Julie Billingsley]

LOL Col, you tickle me Soooo many things about parenthood will horrify you at first and then will charm you later. Don't worry, you are normal!

[lovely1m]

I didn't even realize until my pregnancy was over that I had felt his hiccups often. I just figured he was kicking really rhymically. lol Don't worry, pregnancy is differnet for everyone. Some people never really enjoy it. I always think I had a fabulous pregnancy until I start discribing some of the things I went throught. I think it was just perspective. lol

[Misty Cato]

Col - I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse, but I hated every single part of being pregnant. Seriously - all of it. I adore my kids, love being a mother, am so glad I will never go through pregnancy again. And compared the stories I hear from others, my pregnancies were fairly easy.

Whatever you feel, whatever you think ... it is ok. Even if you never have a magical pregnancy moment, you are going to be a wonderful, loving mom.

[rachaelsscraps]

aawww, but the baby's just stretching! Sorry it was a weird experience for you, that happens to many mamas I'm sure.
I never got to feel my son's movements as flutters either- I felt him move just once, and he was really kicking his daddy when we were hugging! lol. (since he was born early I didn't get to feel any other movements, just that one)... with my daughter it was crazy. She wiggled, kicked, and always had one foot pressing right under the ribs on my right side. It didn't hurt, but it was constant pressure. I could literally see her foot and I knew how big it was! lol. When I rubbed where her foot was she'd kick a little like I was tickling her or something.

[Lyd]

The early movements kind of made me feel sick as well. And, the later movements sometimes hurt. And, just wait till you get a good swift kick in the bladder. Yeah, that's always fun.

It'll be okay Col. Just like all the girls say - even if you never enjoy anything about your pregnancy, you'll love that little baby and be a great mom. I didn't enjoy any of my pregnancies, and this last one was particularly blah. But, I sure do love all my kiddos and can't imagine life without any one of them.

[hollyxann]

I'm sorry it was exciting for you. Although I will say that a few times it really weirded me out too.

It's really weird when you are standing there and someone else notices. Or you can tell which side the baby is on more.

Oh and wait til you are sitting calmly in the bath, relaxing, and then all of a sudden the water moves as if it were an earthquake.

And then the foot in the ribs....that soooo uncomfortable.

I still have no idea how Kennedy fit inside me...but I do know why I was so uncomfortable so fast. She was 6lb 15oz and 19 1/2 inches long. I am only 4'9" tall. And weighed 92lbs when I got pregnant, topped out at 130lbs.

[Megan Turnidge]

Awwww. I'm sorry it wasn't the way you expected! I had easy, good pregnancies, but I just HATED being pregnant. I didn't really enjoy movements except for the fact that they reassured me baby was okay. I was a really grouchy preggo, but that absolutely did not affect my bonding with my babies. I love them so much, sometimes it's overwhelming!

[Teresa]

Awwww....so sorry it felt strange, but I honestly think it's totally normal! I felt the "alien-like" feelings too (heck, I even scrapped a page with aliens on it and my growing belly, LOL). I had times where the motion almost made me sick, or I had to sit down or force myself to think about something else. There will be PLENTY of time for bonding...and magical feelings...and all that jazz, I promise!

[maryinaz]

Awww Col - I sure hope you get over all the sickness soon! That has to be throwing a damper on things.

I didn't mind movements, but hiccups were annoying. Especially when I had my twins and they got the hiccups at the same time.

[origami]

My kids thought that my bladder was a trampoline! LOL!

As your pregnancy goes on, you'll find those little kicks reassuring, but I think it's normal to find them disconcerting at first.

[Giseli Freitas]

(((HUGS))) Colleen. Don't feel bad about it. How you were suppose to know about that feeling before, right? What you're feeling is pretty normal IMO. I can tell you, I often felt a big disconnection between what people said to me things would be like and what it really was to me.

[LenaGardner]

I wouldn't worry about bonding, you'll be fine, sweetie! I'm sorry the movement creeps you out...that is completely understandable! And don't ever feel guilt for the way you feel, there's nothing to judge!

[breakingbrie]

Everybody's pregnancy is different! I was terrified of being pregnant - When I got pregnant I was in the place where I thought I never wanted kids. It didn't seem magical to me at all!! Having 2 of them in my belly always fighting for room was not fun lol, and yes, kinda creepy to feel and see body parts pushing out of me. ...At the time seemed more alien than anything. I had a super easy pregnancy though, symptom wise - no sickness or discomfort at all, and from reading your threads, it sounds like you're not, and I hope it does get easier for you (hugs)

But I didn't enjoy it, or really want to be pregnant. It took me a bit to feel connected with them. Because of that I don't have a single pic or journaling from my pregnancy, and I really regret that now. I think it's good to talk about it, however you're feeling, and get it out, journal it. You'll have some good stories to tell, and you can laugh about it later

[Angie4b1g]

I always found it super annoying. Which, now that I think about it, is how I feel about the kids that resulted, too. I guess it was a sign.

Especially the hiccups.. oy that drove me nuts.

[Lukasmummy]

To be honest I have been pregnant 6 six times, had 4 kids and never got that "magical bonding" thing. I kind of think each one sucked more than the last and I am glad that there won't be anymore now. The movements got earlier every time and annoyed me more every time. I often wished they would just quit moving for a little while and leave me alone. Mine moved a lot though Leia and Logan quite often did a couple hundred kicks/pokes/flips in an hour and it drove me insane lol. I couldn't bond with Leia at all when I was pregnant but when she was born I fell in love with her so hard it scared me. Hugs Crystal xx

[kim21673]

((Hugs)) Don't ever feel guilty about not enjoying those first movements or think you are not bonding!! Your feelings are completely normal!!!!!

I had 4 rough pregnancies and had fears of losing my little ones during the whole pregnancy so those kicks were the only thing that kept me going.

[ColleenSwerb]

Originally Posted by Misty Cato

Col - I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse, but I hated every single part of being pregnant. Seriously - all of it. I adore my kids, love being a mother, am so glad I will never go through pregnancy again. And compared the stories I hear from others, my pregnancies were fairly easy.

Whatever you feel, whatever you think ... it is ok. Even if you never have a magical pregnancy moment, you are going to be a wonderful, loving mom.

That helped a lot Misty, thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you to everyone, really. It helps to know that I'm normal, and that it's ok, and that not everything is rainbows and butterflies and that THAT is totally ok too.

Still being sick probably isn't helping, you're right. It's hard. I'm accepting the fact that I'll probably be sick for the entire time. My body may have been built for making babies, but it certainly doesn't like the process. And that's ok. It is what it is, and I can't change it. I can just take it day by day, and hope that tomorrow will be better.