Feeling Overwhelmed

[xboxmom]

I don't really like to post much about personal issues...but man I am just feeling so overwhelmed.

This last week especially it started out Wednesday night. Our neighbor is a food critic and writes a column in the Seattle Times as well as owning his own business to translate English into Spanish for companies like Starbucks. Anyway he had invited us to a dinner that he was speaking at. It was awesome and my husband and I quite enjoyed it.

Then Thursday was a Brewers night for Sierra Nevada at our local pub we go to frequently....And the Owners are good friends of ours and he almost begged me to come work for him as they have lost their really good bar tender and one of their waitresses due to them going back to college. (I just finished a 40 hour mixology class.)

Friday we had a Birthday Party for a friend of ours that was turning 40. It was at down town in Seattle and honestly the company wasn't that great and honestly I wished we had passed on this one.....

Saturday I had my annual wine party with over 30 people not including my husband and I in attendance. So all the prep for that and clean up til 2 a.m.

And last night we had a trial run with our food critic neighbor for our Thanksgiving feast I will be having on Thanksgiving. This thing took forever to work with him to prep and cook, and get the house looking normal again after a party the night before.

And now today I have carpet cleaners coming. Seriously I am exhausted! I just want to crawl back into bed and feel like I totally bit off more than I could chew last week. And its not over I still have to prepare for another huge thanksgiving feast in 10 days! I am freaking out! Seriously I think I need some Xanax (I don't own any) But I am freaking out and sooooo tired.

If you made it through that you are probably as exhausted as I am and I thank you. But does anyone have some helpful hints or short cuts or something to help ease my exhaustion and sanity for the next huge dinner I am hosting in 10 days?!!?

[chloe]

Ugh, you have a lot on your plate(s) indeed, pun intended! My only advice would be to delegate as much as possible so that you can focus on what is really important. And remember: the rest can wait. (((hugs))) and sanity vibes!

[taracotta7]

Bless your heart! ((HUGS)) I would totally delegate what you can. It does NOT have to be perfect.......Thanksgiving isn't for people to come over and judge your house and food. It is about being together. Take some deep breaths. Maybe you need some "me" time to unwind a little so you can be ready to go for the next big thing on your to do list. Take a bubble bath, go to a favorite book store to relax and look at books or maybe dinner with a girl friend. Whatever you choose.......I think you need a little break.

[Ginger_79]

Well, first off coming from a scienific background I would strongly suggest to NOT take any Xanax. Unless you have a real psychic disorder for which it should be used.

Second, I believe you need a blanket, a DVD, icecream and a good portion of: Now me! attitude. Just ignore it for one evening. Tell everyone you're exhausted and you're having a night of pampering yourself. Then go to sleep and rest.
Don't freak out, you will manage even if you don't do anything tonight. And nobody is pushing you to perfection, but you yourself. You probably won't get anything done effectively in this state of mind. So just forget it for a bit.

And after your mini break remember why you wanted to do the dinner in the first place. And then use good pre-done stuff, that helps saving time. Like a tomato sauce base or things like that.

Oh, and HUGS

[adrianka]

I second Inga. Don't take Xanax. It's meant for treating anxiety disorder. And it's addictive.

I can totally see you're overwhelmed! I'm overwhelmed when I go out in the evening twice in a row (and I mean just going out, no wild parties, this lady is now old and tame).

You can do it. Just calm down, get some sleep, go through the things you need to do, make a plan. Keep repeating to yourself that you can do it and that everything will be just fine. Wish you luck!

[xboxmom]

Thanks girls. I think I just needed someone to tell me it's ok. Though I tell you all, I don't think (as much as I love my neighbor) that I ever want to cook for a food critic/ex chef again. That was like WAY too much pressure on me. He was very sweet about everything but in the back of your mind you are thinking I wonder how he really feels about this food? LOL I know crazy stuff but it's what I was thinking the entire time.

I am not worried about how people will feel about the food on Thanksgiving I am just worried I wont get everything done in time. We have over 30 some odd people that come (i do have each couple bring something) but it's just a lot of turkey to cook.

Thank you ladies again for telling me it's gonna be ok and I can do it! Much appreciated!
*hugs*

[adrianka]

I'd sure freak out if I had to feed 30 people. But think how proud you will be of yourself when you manage it. :-) You have my admiration NOW.

[Ginger_79]

I once knew a psychologist and the number 1 question she got asked all the time was: "Are you analysing me now?"

Her answer was: "God no, I'm out of work right now. No need to do it, when you don't have to because it's your patient. And way to exhausting."

He probably is used to everyone being overly nervous about food cooked for him. And I bet he finds it exaggerated. Remember, you can do other things he can't. No need for you to beat him on his own specialty. Heheh, does he have kids btw? Because then he will learn the harsh lesson, they ignore all the fancy food cooked for hours. But celebrate you best mom/dad/whatever for fishfingers and fries.

[xboxmom]

LOL good point Ginger. No he does not have any kids.

Yeah, my prepare a meal for hours and actually enjoying cooking went out the window after my second child was born...Now that I have 5 kids I really try and cook stuff that is microwave friendly and things that take less than 30 mins to prepare or food that I can throw in a crock pot or the oven and just walk away.

[Ginger_79]

We have this steam cooker from Tupperware for the mircowave. It's awesome! It's healthy and easy and I don't have to keep an eye on it. I use it for potatoes and veggies all the time.

Oh and good tip for lazy cooks: making pudding in the microwave. I love pudding made from those powerds you boil in hot milk. But I hate the stuff sticking to my pots like glue. Maybe I'm a hopeless cook? But I can NEVER boil milk without at least a bit of milk surface sticking to the bottom. So I started boiling it in those measure bowls made for the microwave. Super easy. Measuring, no sticky pots, then throw in the pudding powder, short round again, stir and done!

[xboxmom]

heheh yes the microwave is my friend, I seriously try and cook everything in it!

[aly321]

Life is exhausting and overwhelming! I can't believe what a party animal you are lady! Good luck with your feast. I am sure it will be WONDERFUL!

[xboxmom]

heheh Thanks Aly, I am sure its gonna be ok...It's just a bit over whelming to think about it. I took the whole day off besides the carpet cleaners cleaning away, at least I just have to write a check for that. heheheh

[julifish]

The Planner in me says to start with Thanksgiving dinner and plan backward what you think you have to do. It's going to be a long list so delegate it out! Let the kids clean things they are good at cleaning (or better yet, spring for a maid - by BFF does this once a year just before her family comes for thanksgiving). Ask a guest to help with this and that the day of...if you have a list it's easy to say what needs to be done when someone asks.

It does no good to clean the house now...so just keep it up as you go along. Is there anything you can say no to between now and Thanksgiving? If so then say no and don't feel guilty! Don't forget to plan some time to breathe. Holidays are meant to be fun not a marathon. I live your same life everyday (minus 3 kids) but I'm constantly on the run. I always set my expectations and standards too high and stress myself out. I'm finally learning what good enough means and boy does it feel good. So maybe you could try the this will be good enough approach and it will help ease the stress.

[nun69]

you go girl!!!! but I agree with Juli on the delegating as much as you can! I am so glad I went back to work because I get more out of my teenager NOW than I EVER did!!!!

[Teresa]

Lists, lists, and more lists. That's the only way I ever get through times when I'm overwhelmed! In this case, I'd also say just try to take things in stride and simply enjoy those people you'll get to spend your time with next week despite the chaos of preparing for them to "invade" your house. I really wish I could be so lucky to spend Thanksgiving with my extended family...so while it might seem crazy, I really envy you!

[xboxmom]

Thanks Juli, Angie and Teresa. I will definitely be making my kids work hard at cleaning up. The carpets turned out amazing and it was so nice to just hire some one to come clean them all...I always wonder why it always takes me sooooo long to get them cleaned when its so nice after they are done....

Oh, Teresa, I wish it were family but it's actually just all the orphans from my husbands work who do not have family to go home to either. It's nice though and we always consider everyone that comes our family.

[Shawna Clingerman]

First of all - like i said in the other thread - I'm totally having party envy! My life needs a bit more grown up stuff i think!

But, really, all joking aside, I thought i would just say that I find it amazing, that reguardless of what type of lifestyle we live, being a mom, a woman... it is just overwhelming as a whole. It is easy to think oh if only i had this or that (or if only i didn't!) - that that would some how magically make life easy... but the truth is, living up to your own expectations of yourself can almost always be overwhelming, I think as women especially. It is amazing the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve that "perfect" status...

Anyway, that is my ramble, I just wanted to say, I understand, and I think it is amazing how much you are trying to accomplish there... just remember, to be kind to yourself, and to take a few minutes to actually enjoy the results of your hard work.

[xboxmom]

Thanks Shawna! I am my worst critic that is for sure. I think we all are. Gotta start on that thanksgiving list now....