Rambling

[AnnieBananie]

When you grab a hold of me,
You tell me that I'll never be set free...
But I'm a parasiiiite...
Creep and crawl, I step into the light.
Two pints of booze, tell me, are you a badfish too?



Savvy?

[ColleenSwerb]

I'm guessing that's a song. But I have no idea. So I'm gonna ramble too.

I'm cranky. I hate my future brother in law right now. I even hate Jordan a little bit right now.

1st monday back to work BLOWS.

[AnnieBananie]

I too am hating my man a lil... he's like one retarded comment away from a kick to the groin. Literally.

[ColleenSwerb]

Omg tell me about it. Jordan's already hit that point today, but he's upstairs and I'm too lazy to go up there and kick him. Plus, our CEO might frown upon that sort of thing.

Jordan doesn't understand that the tone of words is important. His tone often says "eff you, you're a freaking moron" and he'll be like but I didn't yell, I didn't say that, and I'm like yea you didn't HAVE to say it.

[AnnieBananie]

FOR. REAL. I feel ya. DH is in the doghouse for tone issues too. He's been REALLY bad about treating me like a child lately... as if that's not bad enough, he does it IN FRONT of the kids too so now DS has been trying to talk to me the same way. I told DH not to talk to me, look at me, come NEAR me until he can figure out how a WOMAN IN 2009 is supposed to be treated.

[AnnieBananie]

Oops I was gonna say too... mmyeah, better not get yourself fired for ball-kicking.

[ColleenSwerb]

Boy do I feel ya Annie. And Jordan doesn't understand the things that upset me, no matter how many times I explain it. It's mind boggling sometimes.

[AnnieBananie]

Men.

[iJenny]

Jeff used to (and still sometimes does) talk to me in a VERY derogatory way. Like I was either a child or an idiot, or both. And then Cameron, our oldest son, started talking to me with the same tone. Jeff would get on him about, "you don't talk to your mother like that" and I simply said, "well, where do you think he learned it, Jeff?". He finally started to get the point. Cameron treats me the exact same was Jeff does and he's finally cleaned up his act a lot (with the help of lots of counselling and stuff lol).
So, I guess I'm just trying to say "I feel ya, girls". It sucks to be talked down to and then to have them play dumb like, "what? I didn't say anything!".

[heatherdumas]

Aw! Ladies I feel ya! My DH ( which for the first several months in these forums, I swore meant dick head) escalates his moronic tone often. He used to aim it at me. So I filed a restraining order and got a divorce lawyer.
Okay, extreme. But that was a few years ago. We have worked out most of our problems. He rarely uses his jacka** tone with me anymore.
But when he is stressed (which is a lot lately) he uses it on my son. We have twins together, but I have from my first marriage. And I have to tell ya, I divorced the first one for taking his bad mood out on my son. My son is a pain in the toosh. Granted! But he is MINE. And I love him. And he is really a good kid, just annoying.
Now I am rambling. But what I want to know is... when he uses the tone with you, does he still expect..you know.. affection?
My DH doesn't seem to get that if you offend my child you offend me and I don't wanna be all lovey with you.

[AnnieBananie]

OMG Heather, YES! DH almost always tried to get some and I'm always like "Poser, what?... Mmno, I don't have sex with my daddy... try treating me like a wife and maybe I can act like one."

[ColleenSwerb]

Usually Jordan is smart enough to not try and get loving after an episode like that. But on the one occasion he did, I made damn sure he apologized for being a jerkoff and KNEW what he was apologizing for. Hasn't done that again since.

I'm mostly frustrated with my FBIL, which bleeds into being frustrated with Jordan because he won't kick him out. But Jordan was being a jerkoff in his own right today.

Of course I just realized that a friend of mine is making us dinner on wednesday and it's not a family dinner. It's a me and Jordan only dinner. Which means Jordan needs to ask Joey to get the eff out of the house for a few hours that night. So I'll have to be nice tonight to ask him to do that. For ONE NIGHT I want to enjoy a nice dinner with my future husband in our home ALONE.

[AnnieBananie]

Yeah Col, I'd be beside myself trying to deal with FBIL if I were you... you're a gem in my book, that's FOR SURE!

[ColleenSwerb]

Thanks Annie. That's what everyone says. Except of course Jordan.

I got really upset yesterday morning (with Joey), and Jordan just sat there, like "what do you want me to do?" ::sigh::

[AnnieBananie]

WTF, it's HIS brother... GAH, if it's any consolation at all, DH is the same way about his family... they're CLEARLY first and I'm second.

*BALL KICK!!*

[ColleenSwerb]

I think that's the part that hurts me most at this point Annie. That I'm second. That it doesn't matter that I'm CLEARLY unhappy with the living situation, because he's family. It doesn't matter that I've put up with it for the past 6 months, if he needs to stay here for 6 more.

[AnnieBananie]

((hugs)) Here's hoping it gets better...

[ColleenSwerb]

It won't until he moves out. But thank you hon

[AnnieBananie]

Then here's hoping he meets a rich girl, they shack up, and he rides off into the sunset like some sort of strange, free-loading cowboy.

[LeeAndra]

BTDT.

J. and I got in a huge argument Tuesday night in the parking lot of Macaroni Grill. I was crying so much that I asked him to drive me home. He went out to get something to eat, I guess, but I went straight to bed in the guest room.

I got a very apologetic email Wed morning at work and I came home to flowers (roses + something else) which were pink AND yellow 'because [I'm his] lover AND friend' and a dled Josh Hoge CD I'd wanted since we went to his concert a couple weeks ago and a card with a nice handwritten message inside.

They can be taught, but it sure sucks teaching.

[heatherdumas]

Originally Posted by BrodoNY0123

It won't until he moves out. But thank you hon

So don't get married until he moves out.

I don't want to be pushy, so I apoligize in advance. But if it bothers you so much and Jordan won't do anything to make it better, it may be time to re-evaluate the whole marriage thing. Forsaking all others means ALL OTHERS!!! That includes future in laws.

[ColleenSwerb]

It's ok Heather, no worries.

I've pretty much put my foot down and told Jordan that I will not tolerate Joey living with us after the wedding. I refuse to come home from our honeymoon to him still living in the house. Nothing needs to be done right this second, but if in a few months Jordan doesn't talk to him, I'll have to suck it up and tell him to get out on my own.

I also don't completely trust Joey to tell the truth about how much longer his contract will extend. So come this summer, come hell or high water, he'll be moved into his own apartment.

[heatherdumas]

I am a tough love kinda girl, hence the previously mentioned restraining order and divorce lawyer. I was walked on in my first marriage. I was treated like a sub-human. So I get all "momma bear" when I think someone is in a tough situation.
I am glad you have already talked to Jordan. I think in-laws and "friends" are the toughest obstacle in any relationship. I hope Joey moves on quiety and soon.

[ColleenSwerb]

I definitely understand the tough love attitude hon. I'm usually the first to dish that out to my friends, lol. We just have some time still, before tough love becomes necessary I think