S/O 'Once When I Was Pregnant, I...'

[lauren grier]

oh and I have so many lovely barf stories..

like the time, I was driving home from work, and stopped and got myself a coolata, downed the whole thing.. then had the sudden urge to hurl on the highway, and barfed it all back up into the cup- thankfully it fit. gross.

or the time we went out to breakfast, I ate a huge meal.. then barfed all in their bathroom - they only had one stall- and the toilet clogged.. with my puke floating around.. and I had to walk back out and tell one of the waiters that it was backed up and apologized profusely for the vomit everywhere.

mmm. yes. I dont' miss that

[AnnieBananie]

When my mom had my baby sister (I was 19 and my mom's birth partner because her boyfriend at the time was "busy" glare)... her (my sis') head blocked most of the amniotic fluid so when the head came out, the doctor got SPRAYED with it! EVERYWHERE! It was dripping from his Ned Flanders mustache and everything. I was trying so hard not to laugh hysterically because my mom was mortified. Doc goes "That's the reason we wear face shields and gowns" ROFL!

[lovely1m]

Well, since every is sharing the poop on table stories, here's mine. When I went into labor, I had a fantastic nurse, she was seriously wonderful. When I was getting close, she had me start pushing. After a little bit, she jumped up and grabbed the paper I was on and kind of cleaned things up, I assumed I had pooed a bit, but she was staying the fantastic nurse and taking care of things without telling me and not embarressing me. Then before my son was born, she got off work and another nurse came in. She was not a great nurse, I mean she still did her job well, but she just wasn't the nurse the first one was. She hardly talked, didn't seem as into the whole thing. Later I asked my dh if I had pooed when the first nurse cleaned me up and he said, yes, a little bit. Then proceeded to tell me that I did again later with the second nurse (I was pushing for 2 hours) and she didn't clean it up for like 15 minutes. She just left it there. I was horrified and so embarressed then. I mean, seriously, why would she just leave it there?!?!

I also called the great nurse by the wrong name. In the middle of a contraction I called her Sara. It wasn't even close, though I asked after the contraction, wait, what was your name. lol

[KristinCB]

Well, gosh. This makes me feel so much better! haha. My story doesn't sound nearly as embarassing now I don't really remember much about my pregnancies. I hate HATE being pregnant so pretty much block those 9 months out of my life.

After I had Lily I went to have a shower while hubby went off to the nursery with the baby to get checked out etc. I can't remember why they all left me but they did. Anyways, before I got up to have the shower the nurse told me to just wait and she'd help me up, I didn't think she needed to, I felt I could do it myself (I had an epidural so my legs were still sorta numbish) anyways lol she wanted me to wait so that she could sorta stop all the blood and such taht was still left in me that proceeded to spill all over the floor as soon as I got up. oops

So then I go have my shower while thats all getting cleaned up and after I am done I am having a heck of a time getting those maternity panties put on as I still have a cathedar in. So I look out the door see who I think is a nurse and ask her if she could help me get dressed. She sorta looked at me funny but thats what they do right, they are nurses they deal with all kinds of things. So she comes over and helps me get dressed and thats all good. It was only a little while later where I finally clued into the fact that she was a janitor.. not a nurse. LOL

[lauren grier]

hahah kristin I just giggled @ the end

[Voodoo_Bryn]

me too, La, I giggled, too

I pictured the janitor from Scrubs, haha.

[scrapperjade]

My stomach hurts, and i have tears rolling down my cheeks!!! This thread is SO funny!!! Seriously La, your barfing your drink back into the cup made me laugh soooo hard!! Ouch, haha!

[Coila]

These are so funny! Pregnancy is so embarrasing!

I just have a couple that are kinda funny. My water broke at 3:00am and really badly. But it was on the toliet so that worked out well. I didnt want to call the doctor since it was so early so I told my husband I'd call later in the morning but he looked at me crazy like so I called. My doctor told me I had two options. 1. I could put a cork in it or 2. I could go to the hospital but he recommended option 2! He always made me laugh! He was a great doctor and the same one that delivered my husband in 1982. He retired last year though and won't be delivering my next baby

But once we get to the hospital my water seems like it broke all over again and I waddle into the birthing suites and the admitting girl called the nurses and told them she had a lady here who's water grossly broke. I knew what she meant but I was thinking it was pretty gross!

And the last little thing... after I got my epidural I ended up kicking my doctor in the face when they were flipping me over! Funny stuff

[Rae's World]

These are so funny!!! I am dying here!!! I wish I had some funny ones. BUt not really.

The bet one I have is when I was in labor with #2. He came in exactly 2hrs from the time I got to the hospital. It felt like a mac truck was trying to dive it's way out!!! Anyways, I was not able to get the epidural and it hurt sooo bad!! I was screaming, very loudly. I wanted to punch the nurse but i didn't, but I do remember them closing the door and someone saying that I was frightening the other first time mothers.

[clearskies]

A bite of KFC mashed potatoes. A couple of Skittles. A bite of KFC mashed potatoes. A couple of Skittles. Repeat.

...actually it sounds kinda good right now...

[pbumbaca]

I threw up every day for 9 months. But it was one of those sicknesses where I didn't always throw up I just had dry heaves most of the time so I didn't lose any weight. I actually gained a TON because if I ate constantly I didn't feel as sick. BUT I never knew if it was a false alarm or the real thing so they joked they would move my desk to the bathroom because I had to run there so many times during the day. Then finally a co-worker went on a trip, came back and hung an air sickness bag in my cube marked Pam's Pregnancy Survival Kit on it. LOL!

Then at the end when I was 2 weeks late and had to be induced after 24 hours of labor and throwing up through most of it they decided to wheel me into the OR for the C-section. I told them I needed something to throw up in and they said oh we'll get you something in the OR, we need everything steril in there. So we get in there and I say I'm gonna hurl and they can't find a bowl or anything so the nurse said, go for it. I puked all over the OR table and floor. So much for steril huh?

[Sari]

Originally Posted by SamaraGugler

OMG!!! I laughed SOOOOO hard that I had to use my inhaler....

You and me both. This thread is a riot!

I had the same involuntary poo problem after having DD. Luckily I was at home at the time! These things are normal but nobody tells you that ahead of time!

This one is recent from having DS. While having him and doing the last final push that got him out, he came out so fast and hard that a huge gush of amniotic fluid shot out too and got my OB, DH and even reached as far as my neck! I was mortified but also had to laugh at the look on DH's face and the big jump he made to try to get out of the way. LOL

[jorgies5]

Oh, this is still very fresh on my mind since everything happened this month.

very familiar with sharts...

About a week before I delivered, I woke up in the middle of the night feeling two small gushes. I honestly couldn't tell if it was pee or amniotic fluid. So to be safe, I called my doctor and he told me to go to the hospital. I asked him if I could just wait until the morning and he said no. So I called my neighbor at 1:00 am to come over and stay with my kids. Long story short...it was not amniotic fluid and I had to come home and tell my neighbor she just lost 3 hours of sleep because I peed the bed.

And this was more embarrassing...after I delivered and was chilling on the bed while the doctor was sewing me up, I could hear this "popping" sound. It took me a few moments to realize it was me involuntarily letting them rip. I was mortified, especially since the doctor's face was right there. I don't know how the doctor kept a straight face the whole time, but I guess doctors probably see and hear it all.

[Paula]

Some of you have heard this, some haven't.

Picture it....a very eight month pregnant Paula in the waiting room of her OBs office. The night before, I had Mexican food that was GOOD but I am having pretty strong contractions.

The nurse calls me back to the room and when the doctor walks in, I start having a HUGE contraction. He says, "I think we ought to check if your dilating with these contractions." So, I get ready for the said procedure by stripping down and putting on those oh so lovely gowns that every doctor's office has. LOL

He comes back in, I get my legs in the stirrups, he goes down to check, and I let out the LONGEST and LOUDEST fart that I believe I ever did. I swear that baby must have been at least two minutes! LOL

So, once it's over he asks me if it's ok to check and I tell him yep, dying of embarrassment. So, he goes back down and guess what?? I DO IT AGAIN! LMAO

After the second time, he successfully determines that I was three centimeters dilated and 100% effaced, but his getting there was rather gross and MIGHTY stinky. LOL

[Priscilla]

about 2 weeks before my c-section, I stopped off and DH's office so he could come with me to my appointment and I went to pee and before getting on the toilet peed EVERYWHERE ... however I hadnt had ANYTHING to drink and it was crystal clear and odorless so I thought my water broke .. doc did a swab and all ... just pee

[nun69]

these stories are HYSTERICAL!!!

I think I lost some of my senses when I was pregnant with DS#1 {baby #2}....here is the story...
we were in a store called Auchan {in Sicily it is = to Wal-Mart}...but they have little stores on one side like a camera store, clothes store, nick nack shops, etc...so I tell DH and DD {7 at the time} I want to look at the cameras...but I really don't want to go in the store just to kind of "window" shop...well keep in mind the store front is completely glass from ceiling to floor...so I want to look at this particular camera that is on a shelf at the front of the store...I start to look a little closer and BAM, yep I smacked my head right on the glass...here is the best part..there is an Italian couple standing right next to us and they are not sure whether to laugh or not at the pregnant American girl, right....well, they turn and see DH and DD LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY and then they start busting out laughing...and too this day, I have NEVER heard the end of it from DD or DH and it has been over 8 years

[Priscilla]

BTT

anyone else?

[dabittymama]

Ok I am almost 8 months prego right now and reading all of these is going to make me pee my pants with laughter!!!!!!!!!!

With my first DD when I was still working full time as an ER nurse I puked all over a patient. In my defense he had just thrown up blood all over me.... We both felt pretty bad for eachother.

I also passed out at work once on a patient because I was so dehydrated from puking the night before and all morning. Its sad when she put the call light on so someone could come and get me...her nurse.

With #2 and #3 I hardly work so I've been good for both of them!!!

[CA Dreamer]

I have a friends story:

...My friend Lisa went to the mall to shop and when she went back to her car, she got in the passenger seat to wait for her husband. She waited and waited and was really getting ticked... then, she remembered that she drove herself to the mall!

[ditzyscrap]

Haha, I thought of another one...I can't remember which kid I was pregnant with, but it was probably Natalie.

So...I go into the lab for my monthly urine test, by then I was QUITE big and reaching around my belly to hold the cup was getting kinda difficult. Well anyway...I peed in the cup and then while trying to get the cup back out, I dropped it...IN THE TOILET. I was laughing so hard and had to go out and ask the nurses if I could still use it (obviously the answer was no). Worse was that I had to tell my MIL that we had to go out for coffee or something and then come back to the lab to do it again because I dropped the stupid cup. I'm sure all the people sitting in the lab didn't want to know that I dropped it, lol...how embarrassing!!