Alright girls, I'm getting desperate.

[joelsgirl]

My day started at 2 am last night. That's when I woke up to feed Max, who is 11 months old. As soon as I laid him down, though, he woke up crying. I'm trying to teach him to sleep on his own because he's been doing this a lot lately {waking up as soon as I lay him down}. So I let him cry...til SIX O'CLOCK this morning. I felt like a terrible mother {clearly no longer qualified for MOTY}, butI kept thinking, I've endured this long, I'll give it a few more minutes.

All morning, crying. He was up from 6-8, but when I walked him through the new bedtime routine {which i did yesterday, too, and didn't work; he only napped on the way to pick his brother up from school.} he cried again from 8-10. I let him get up and play from 10-11:30, cried from 11:30-12:30. At 12:30 I lay on the bed with him on my chest and patted his back till he went to sleep, but sure enough, as soon as I got up...the crying started again. Just now at 2 I nursed him to sleep, because he has now been awake for TWELVE HOURS, but he was awake and is crying as I write this.

WTH? Can the kid really not cry himself to sleep? His brother went from crying for an hour to crying 5 minutes in THREE DAYS once we started him on the bedtime routine, but this little bugger refuses to sleep. He's like the epitome of Joel Turner...er, I mean stubborn.

Surely somebody has some advice for me. Nursing him to sleep isn't working, but putting him in the bed sleepy but not asleep isn't working for me either. What do I do?

[Megan Turnidge]

Oh, sweetie! That sounds so frustrating! I have no advice, but just wanted to tell you that you can do it!

[brooke22]

Im so sorry, it must be horrible for you.
I did controlled crying with my now 3 year old and had no problems at all so I really dont know what to tell you.
I hope you can get him sorted out soon, you'd think after 12 hours he would be exhausted.

He's not sick or anything is he??

[joelsgirl]

{sigh} that's what my mom said..."OH, poor baby! He's sick, Kellie."

KISS MY BUTT, FAT HEAD. That's what i wanted to say to my mom, not to you, dear, because I was chatting with her on the computer and she was looking at him acting totally normal, chattering, smiling and OBVIOUSLY not sick, where as you are not staring at him but are just asking a logical question, but no, definitely not sick.

ARRRGGGGHHHHH. My 3 year old did so well with this; I just don't know what to do. Now I'm just desperate to get him to sleep, but he will not stay asleep no matter what I do. I just don't at all know what the best option is at this point.

Darn I wish I lived in a house and not an apartment and could go sOMEwhere I couldn't hear him cry.

[NettieB]

I feel your pain! I went through several different books from (spelling is all questionable here) Brazelton to Farber to Pantley to Weissenbluth - and DS still slept in fits and starts and only in my arms.

Literally stumbled across this site http://www.sleeplady.com/ bought the book, and within two weeks, he was sleeping so much better! Good common sense, and she goes up to toddlers and beyond. HTH!

Hang in there, mama!

[AllieP]

We had the same problem with my oldest. He was so stubborn about sleeping! I would just say to keep it up. It'll be killer for a few days, but at least with my son, it was tons better within a week. Those first few days though, I didn't know if he would ever stop crying. I'm so sorry! Good luck!

[Andrea Gourley]

Can you sell him on Ebay?

Mail him in a box to your Mum?

Sorry sweetie, I have no idea about kids but it all sounds grusome

[mommy2aria06]

My daughter was just like that!! People would talk about crying it out and I would be like she would just cry all night. Seriously, this girl can cry for a long time! Suddenly she just started sleeping on her own although I still had to nurse her to sleep. Recently she started sleeping when I just put her in her crib- she can finally put herself to sleep! I have no advice for you because with my daughter she started doing it when she was ready but I completely understand how frustrating it is!! and good luck!

[mrs_jb]

I'm no expert Kellie, but I've done the CIO thing with three kids, so I have some experience. My first thought was, he's over-tired. I would maybe try to work on just nighttime or just naptime first. I've often found that once you can get nightime in line, naptime will will flow much easier.

Are you putting him down initially for the night awake or asleep? Maybe the problem is in trying to let him CIO in the middle of the night. I'm wondering if he put himself to sleep at first, it that would be easier for you.

BIG BIG Hugs!!! Sleep issues are the worst and I know how frustrating they can be!

[Jennifer]

I have no advise, but could have written your post about my DS (now 5). It's terrible and horrible...I have the worst memories of that stage, but eventually it gets better. I'm so sorry you're going through it. Sometimes at it's worst, I'd hop in the shower, just for a few minutes, to escape the crying.

[SamaraGugler]

Are you sure that your sure he's not sick?

My kids always acted normal when they had ear infections. As soon as their heads hit the bed they would cry forever.

We tried two things...

Set a large book (actually two) under one end of the mattress to elevate it.
&
Ran a humidifier.

What about white noise?

[my3hens]

LOL Andrea!

Oh sweety hugs, we actually went through this with Noah for a couple months and it was getting to the point that if i even got out of bed (he was cosleeping) he would wake out of a dead sleep and start crying for me. He is another one that just seems to be terribly determined and its heart wrenching. I completely understand how you were feeling last night! Fortunately Noah kinda grew out of it and now he is completely off the boob and sleeping in his own bed in a room with his brother, sweet relief! It will be sooner then you think love!

[AddictedScrapper]

Ohhhh I've been there. My oldest DS was TERRIBLE in every sense of the word.

CIO NEVER worked for us, he would cry/scream for HOURS. He had Colic (or at least I'm thinking he did because I researched everything under the sun and nothing else seemed to be it). It's a wonder I even had another baby a year and a half later, truly. It was HELL on earth.

I am no help because I never found a solution, he just outgrew it at about 5 months old. It really was the longest 5 months ever. No one understands me when I try to explain it unless they went through it too.

I sure hope it passes for you soon, seems like he's a little old to still be doing that. Just try and sleep when he sleeps/naps, it will help to keep your sanity!

[joelsgirl]

Originally Posted by mrs_jb

I'm no expert Kellie, but I've done the CIO thing with three kids, so I have some experience. My first thought was, he's over-tired. I would maybe try to work on just nighttime or just naptime first. I've often found that once you can get nightime in line, naptime will will flow much easier.

Are you putting him down initially for the night awake or asleep? Maybe the problem is in trying to let him CIO in the middle of the night. I'm wondering if he put himself to sleep at first, it that would be easier for you.

BIG BIG Hugs!!! Sleep issues are the worst and I know how frustrating they can be!

So Jac, what you're saying is that I'm not going to ruin his night time routine if I still nurse him to sleep for naps? That would really be a blessing because girls, LISTEN UP

IT IS ALMOST 9 PM MY TIME AND THAT BOY IS STILL NOT ASLEEP! He fell asleep on the way home from dinner for 10 minutes; soon as I put him in that crib, the tears started flowing again.

[AddictedScrapper]

It could "maybe" be separation anxiety. Did he ever sleep in your room with you?

Originally Posted by joelsgirl

So Jac, what you're saying is that I'm not going to ruin his night time routine if I still nurse him to sleep for naps? That would really be a blessing because girls, LISTEN UP

IT IS ALMOST 9 PM MY TIME AND THAT BOY IS STILL NOT ASLEEP! He fell asleep on the way home from dinner for 10 minutes; soon as I put him in that crib, the tears started flowing again.

[joelsgirl]

Originally Posted by SamaraGugler

Are you sure that your sure he's not sick?

My kids always acted normal when they had ear infections. As soon as their heads hit the bed they would cry forever.

Okay, now Samara, even if I *am* wrong, I will never be admitting it to my mother, are we clear? But he HAS been pulling at his ears for the past few days; I even took him to the dr about it the other day, and he said, "there's a lot of wax in there, but it doesn't seem infected." Which consoled me at the time but now of course is seeming like a pretty shady answer for a doctor. Maybe he *does* have an ear infection, which would explain why he sleeps in the car seat or the sling but wakes up every time I put him in that darn crib...

{sigh} maybe i'll put off the sleep lesson till after I take him to another doctor. First. Thing. Tomorrow. Morning.

AND I SWEAR ANYONE BREATHES A WORD OF HIS DOCTOR VISIT TO MY MOTHER AND I'LL KNOCK YA DOWN.

[SamaraGugler]

You got it... it's our little secret!! LOL

[mrs_jb]

Originally Posted by joelsgirl

So Jac, what you're saying is that I'm not going to ruin his night time routine if I still nurse him to sleep for naps? That would really be a blessing because girls, LISTEN UP

IT IS ALMOST 9 PM MY TIME AND THAT BOY IS STILL NOT ASLEEP! He fell asleep on the way home from dinner for 10 minutes; soon as I put him in that crib, the tears started flowing again.

Here's what I've always found... sleep begets sleep. The most well rested he is at night, the BETTER he'll sleep for you during the day. I've always found the naptime seems to echo nightime. HOWEVER, the other thing is that for kids, night sleep and day sleep are two different things. They are two different learned skills for them.

I think trying to tackle both at the same time is REALLY HARD. Because you land in the situation you are in now where they are exhausted and you are exhausted and you just give up.

I think right now, I would get him to sleep however you can, just to get him more rested and then start again tomorrow. In my experience with CIO, how tired they are when you are trying has the biggest effect. If you can catch him at the right time, sleepy but not exhausted, then things might go so much smoother for you. I also took the advice from one of my books, and started putting my kids down at night SUPER early (like 6 pm) until they were on a better sleep schedule. I thought the idea was crazy, but the first few times, they slept LONGER than ever before.

I could go on and on, I'm sleep obsessed, LOL! But let me know if there is any other way that I can help you!

[mlewis]

Oh, that's so frustrating!!

Our pediatrician recommended Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and it worked wonders for us!

And we'll never breathe a word of the doctor's appointment to anyone! LOL

[Zoe Pearn]

((HUGS)) You poor thing! I have to say I've been really lucky with my Josh, he's slept through the night since he was six weeks old... so I can't really give you any advice on the CIO thing. BUT, I do know that there was a period of a week or so where he was doing exactly the same thing and I put it down to teething. Then one morning he woke up and was SOOOO hot, really bad fever, he was limp and lethargic, and it ended up that he had an ear infection. Apparently they come on REALLY suddenly with no warning at all. And the Dr said to me that it's worse at night time because the pressure changes with the cooler air, and also when they lie down as you said... As soon as the ear infection was sorted, he went back to his normal sleeping routine. Maybe (hopefully) it's something like that

I know with Josh, I've just always let him put himself to sleep, and I've never had any trouble with him (he's almost 13 months old now). It's weird because most bubs who want to sleep want a cuddle, but not Josh - LOL! He's like "go away Mum! I want to lie down on my own", gets cranky with me, pushes me away, whacks me around the face a couple of times - LOL - and he puts himself to sleep. I have to say I'm dreading having a second kid... doesn't everyone say that if you had the second one first, you'd never have kids or something like that - LOL!

Hang in there sweetie! I know you must be so tired and stressed... I hope it all works out soon for you!! ((HUGS))

[jessica31876]

The only advise I have is to A.give him something to hold onto that smells like you. (sleep with a receiveing blanket for a night and let him hold onto it when you put him to bed) B.Make sure he is really comfortable when you put him to bed-not to cold/not to hot and have a nightlight in the room so it is not to dark C.Dont let him cry to long. Go in and comfort him until he falls asleep but dont lay down next to him because then he would feel you leaving. When he starts crying wait XX amount of minutes (like 15 or so I guess) go in there with him and comfrot him but leave again and try to cut those times down each time where you increase the amount of time you take to go in to comfort him and then make the time you stay in there less. He will eventually get to where he can fall asleep on his own when he wakes up

[Lukasmummy]

Lukas has always had problems with his ears, wanna know what the doctor always tells us to do? Olive Oil slightly warmed couple of drops into his ear and then a little bit of cotton wool to stop it running out and I know it sounds insane but it really does work. The only other thing that made Lukas scream when he was a baby was being constipated doctor recommended a teaspoon of orange juice diluted with water, I seem to remember the ratio being something like 4 parts water to 1 part orange juice. (((((hugs))))) I had two great sleepers apart from a few bad nights here and there when they were sick. Mark's nephew on the other hand was a complete nightmare when we used to have him to stay he used to be awful to put to bed (I guess it's an issue when the poor little guy was used to be shoved into a dark silent room and being left to scream himself to sleep, whereas Lukas needs noise is terrified of the dark and is always happier when there's someone else there lol.) I'd take him for you, I am up all night anyway but I to send him to the UK would cost a fortune Hugs Crystal xxx

[kscwgirl]

Sleep issues SUCK. My daughter still isn't "fixed" and she's 4 1/2. JJ is a freaking night owl though.. was up at 11 something last night telling me bye, that he had to go to work now. He's also fond of saying.. mama.. it morning.. at like, 11 pm. LOL No, dude, it's not morning.

Anyway. I'm sorry Kellie. I couldn't stand to let mine CIO, although we tried.

Maybe you could ship him down to Janet? She's in Indonesia, I think.