Do you have a Will?

[DawnMarch]

So, after years (decades, really) of procrastinating, I finally got a will signed last night. I REALLY should have done this sooner or at least when my kids were still minors. And especially since I'm a lawyer, I have no excuse. It's a weird feeling, though, seeing the signed document and thinking about when people will next be reading/looking at that document.

So, do you have a will? If not, why not?

[Kiana]

Not yet. I actually was thinking about this recently because I turned 45 this year and was wondering when is a good time to start this?

[tjscraps]

We've been thinking of it, even made an appt last year but had to cancel due to illness and haven't got there yet. DH is sick right now (requires pretty major surgery) so we really should revisit it

[bienejen]

I sure do. Having minor children, it was a must for me. After watching some friends go through some very ugly probate/family fights, I would encourage everyone to do it. Death does not bring out the best in people.

[DawnMarch]

Originally Posted by bienejen

I sure do. Having minor children, it was a must for me. After watching some friends go through some very ugly probate/family fights, I would encourage everyone to do it. Death does not bring out the best in people.

Yeah, I think anyone who has any contact with the probate system immediately wises up to the need for a will. That's what finally kicked us into gear.

[HavaDrPepper]

I've had one for 30 years even though I'm single with no children. When my parents did the paperwork to turn their house over to me legally, a will was part of the process. Not much to it except for the fact that if I passed before them, they could not be forced out of the house. Mom passed 4 years later but the will still applied to Dad. They would also inherit if I passed first.

When Dad passed in 2016, I updated my will because of the inheritance I received. I now had to consider what would happen to my "worldly goods" when I passed since I have no kids or spouse.

And, I'll just say that if you have any kind of investment accounts (401K, mutual funds, etc), make sure that they are set up correctly so that those named to receive the funds don't have to go through probate. Unfortunately, my father had one account that wasn't set up correctly and I had to go through probate just for it. The lawyer in NC handling probate wanted to include all his accounts in the probate but thankfully my lawyer in Ohio advised me about it. Handling probate in a different state is absolutely no fun at all.

[DawnMarch]

Originally Posted by HavaDrPepper

And, I'll just say that if you have any kind of investment accounts (401K, mutual funds, etc), make sure that they are set up correctly so that those named to receive the funds don't have to go through probate.

That is excellent advice. The only thing that made it to us from my dad's assets was a life insurance policy that didn't have to go through probate.

[bienejen]

Originally Posted by DawnMarch

That is excellent advice. The only thing that made it to us from my dad's assets was a life insurance policy that didn't have to go through probate.

Not to ask for legal advice as states vary, but in general, does having a specified beneficiary other than yourself/your estate, keep things like life insurance, investments out of probate for someone who does not have a will?

[stephc777]

We just did a really simple fill in the blank type will when our kids were very small. Once we had our third kid, we went to a lawyer and had an official one done settling issues like guardianship and financial trustee for our minor kids. We may update it again once all our kids are adults.

[immaculeah]

Years of procrastinating - this is me to a T! I remember wanting to do this many moons ago but it got put on the back burner. Are there templates out there for this or do I need to talk to a lawyer to start one? Any advice is appreciated.

[DawnMarch]

Originally Posted by immaculeah

Years of procrastinating - this is me to a T! I remember wanting to do this many moons ago but it got put on the back burner. Are there templates out there for this or do I need to talk to a lawyer to start one? Any advice is appreciated.

There are templates and computer software that can help. but it's important to make sure it is tailored to your specific location since the laws vary depending on where you are.

[DawnMarch]

Originally Posted by bienejen

Not to ask for legal advice as states vary, but in general, does having a specified beneficiary other than yourself/your estate, keep things like life insurance, investments out of probate for someone who does not have a will?

I think it can. Life insurance in FL is not subject to creditors and didn't have to go through probate. I'm not sure what would have happened if we weren't specified as beneficiaries --I assume it would have gone to probate to determine who it went to. But, as you said, it probably varies by state.

[Kimberly27]

We have one...husband and I both. We also have a power of attorney for my inlaws bc they have kept my kiddos every summer since they were 2. We gave them authority for healthcare and taking care of them in case we can't be reached. It has allowed them to take kids to ER without us being there. We had a small binder for my inlaws with doctors, insurance cards, friends names that we are close too and all of the neighbors. We live in a tight knit community/neighborhood. We are friends and talk regularly with them. Hubby and I went to Paris several years ago no kids and we did an Alaskan cruise, no kids so we needed to have all the ducks in a line in case something happens.

My kids are 11 and 17 so they have all the info on their phones now so they aren't as much work as they used to be.

[JoCee]

yes we do. after losing my brother 16years ago and with no will left I had to clean up the mess.. and it was a mess so please, if you don't have one, make one cos those left behind have to deal with it all on top of the grief of losing you and it is hell.

Even though our kids are in their 20's now we updated our will about 3 years ago because they were heading into adulthood so things needed to be changed. We also made one of our best friends the executor of our will as he has a brilliant head for business etc. we trust him implicitly but hope he will never be called into action.

[rach3975]

Procrastinated for years is us, too. We finally decided we needed to do it at the end of 2019. We had our first meeting with the lawyer and started the process, then came the pandemic. We'd planned on my parents being named as my kids' guardians, executors, etc. Their reaction to the pandemic (essentially refusing to leave their house except for medical treatment for 2 years) made us realize that there is no way we can have them in either role. Now we're kind of stuck, mostly on the guardianship issue. We really need to start working on it again and figure out who we can name as our teenagers' guardians.

[knittingbec]

We do, but are really overdue for an update.
My husband deployed to Afghanistan when our son had just turned 1, so it was part of the prep before he left.

[Stefanie]

We updated ours about 5 years ago - but since all the kids are over 21 years now it's probably time to update it again.

[lovely1m]

I have had one for years and update every couple of years, but that is a given being in the military. I last updated it right before my last deployment and had a couple of power attorneys for my son's care while I was gone, too, since I have full custody of him.

[DawnMarch]

Originally Posted by lovely1m

I have had one for years and update every couple of years, but that is a given being in the military. I last updated it right before my last deployment and had a couple of power attorneys for my son's care while I was gone, too, since I have full custody of him.

It makes so much sense that people in the military have wills. Does the military help pay for the fees to get the made?

[LJSDesigns]

After the mess I went through when my mom had her last stroke and was in end stage dementia, I made sure I did my estate planning last year. It covers the will, POA, DNR, Funeral Arrangements, Insurance, Bank Accounts, House, Cars and any and all other assets I have.

I have it set up so everything will go right to my son without probate or taxes. My lawyer gave me a card to give him with the instructions that when I passed, he was to call her and she would set everything in motion.

After the disaster with my mom, who would not make a will or do a POA because she didn't want anyone to be able to "control" her, the thought that he could have it all settled with a phone call was what motivated me and my sister to do the estate plan. (My sister doesn't have children of her own, so my son is her POA , etc. I always call her his other mother because she is very involved in his life, in a good way. LOL)

I had to go to court to get guardianship of my mom to make all her decisions for her once she wasn't able to and that entire process cost over $15,000 by the time it was done and we had her settled in a full time care facility. Estate planning was $900. Any way you look at it, that's a great deal.

I would definitely recommend doing at least a will, but if you have assets that you want to go directly to someone, doing an estate plan is a smart move.

[HavaDrPepper]

Originally Posted by LJSDesigns

After the mess I went through when my mom had her last stroke and was in end stage dementia, I made sure I did my estate planning last year. It covers the will, POA, DNR, Funeral Arrangements, Insurance, Bank Accounts, House, Cars and any and all other assets I have.

In 1996 after my mother's sister died, my parents decided to do funeral planning for themselves. My mother had emphysema so it was very realistic that she would not be around for a lot of years. They also traveled to FL every winter. I came home from work one day and they told me they had done it and hoped I wasn't mad. I started crying because I was happy they had. I'm an only child and my fear had always been that with their road trip to FL that they could be killed in an accident on the highway and I would have to handle everything for both of them at the same time. So having the arrangements and someone to call was a big relief. Just 5 months later Dad had to make that phone call because Mom passed away in FL the day after Christmas. The funeral home in Ohio found a funeral home in FL that would handle everything on that end and the arrangements to get her back to OH for the funeral.

About 10 years later I came home from work one day when Dad was here visiting. He said to me that he hoped I wouldn't be mad but he had gone to the funeral home and prepaid/made basic arrangements for my funeral. Mom had asked him to do that before she died. So my funeral was planned by my Dad!

When he died in 2016, I just had to call the funeral home, tell him the name of the funeral home in NC when he was taken and they did all the coordinating of getting him home to OH. And, because of the prepaid funeral insurance, I only had to pay about $1500 for the funeral which was about the cost of getting him from NC to OH.

I do need to go to the funeral home and change some of the details of my funeral. Like, I'm not even going to have an actual visitation. I just want a small service at the cemetery since I have no children/spouse. My cousins know that they should just have a big old party of their liking. I won't care since I won't be here!

Also, I did all the DNR, POA etc after Dad died. I also cleaned out all the junk in the house so my cousins don't have to deal with it!

[jaye]

We did a Will, POA, guardianship etc. when my son was a baby. We named a member from each side of the family as guardian as we knew the two of them would do right by our son, one lived in the US so we couldn't just name him as we are Canadian.

We are separated and have been since 2008 (I'm too cheap to get a divorce and it's not like I'm looking to get married again). As soon as I was able I changed my beneficiary to my son, for life insurance, pension etc. The will still stands though as I haven't changed it, I should probably update it though. That being said my ex and I have a pretty good relationship and he knows my wishes as does my son (now 24).

I should look into redoing it though.

[lovely1m]

Originally Posted by DawnMarch

It makes so much sense that people in the military have wills. Does the military help pay for the fees to get the made?

The JAG office does it for free for us.

[MamaBee]

Yup! We got our first wills before our son was born, and had writing in there for "future children"... we have been dragging our feet on updating it (our son will be 15 on Tuesday). Finally 2 years ago, my husband, as part of his benefits, could get legal stuff done for a flat fee. We finally forced ourselves to do it in Dec of 2020... and signed it on Dec 31. haha. That lawyer strongly recommended us to put everything into a trust because of having a minor. So that is what we did... which makes buying big things like our last car interesting - the car dealer did the paper work wrong and had to redo it.

[Memaw2Wm]

Will, Power of Attorney, Advance Medical Directive, HIPAA Release. My father is an attorney who specializes in Estate Planning/Administration and I've worked as his secretary for 43 years, so I'm well aware of the pitfalls of a death in the family. Inheritances seem to bring out the worst in people.

I also have all of my cash and retirement accounts set up to "Pay on Death" to certain beneficiaries. And most every year I drive my son nuts by sending him a letter with all of my financial info, healthcare instructions (just pull the plug buddy), and a reminder that I want to be cremated/cremains scattered and he's the beneficiary of my "death expenses" account.

[Sherri Tierney]

No. This is something I've put off for a very long time. I feel blessed that we actually made it this far without needing one. My children are now teenagers with one of them being a legal adult and I feel a little less concerned about assigning someone to care for the children. I know that my daughter would take care of my son for the few years he has left to adulthood. When they were younger the loose plan was that my sister in law and her husband would raise them but I never got it officially locked down and then some things happened that made me less than sure of that decision.

In the past year and a half my husband lost his father and his stepfather. Now he is dealing with an aging mother who has memory issues. He and his sister are taking turns visiting mom in AZ (we are in KS, sis in law is in PA) to help her get things taken care of concerning her husband's passing and her own affairs. It has made me think a lot about what we need to do.

[Ponytails]

That's something we need to work on. We've got some things set up financially, but we haven't done a will per se since before our youngest was born. Our best friends are supposed to be her guardian if anything happens (my older three are from my first marriage and so would have gone to their father, but they're all adults now.) It's time to update that as now my oldest is married and a mother in her own right, and our youngest, now 11, is very close to her.

But ya, it's time to update it all.

[helptheold]

This reminds me that we've got a will but we never signed and executed it as my husband got cold feet. Been sitting in my desk since 2017! Probably should get a new one done, his company will reimburse us for part of the cost which is nice.