So tomorrow's the day :(

[nikkiARNGwife]

Brian's been mobilized since the first of December and tomorrow is when he actually deploys. He's been home with us for the past week..they actually gave them more leave than we thought they would so we've been very lucky and happy to have some extra time with him.

He has to be there at 6 am so tonight we've decided to let the kids stay with my parents and I'll drive him down and spend the night with him before dropping him off in the morning.

I'm so dreading it. It's just the most awful feeling in the world to drop him off and drive away like that. I hate it.

But in a way I'm almost glad this day is finally here...now at least we can get this started and hopefully the year will go by quickly (though I doubt it).

[KristinCB]

big hugs to you nikki will you get to see him at all during this next year?

[kim21673]

((Hugs))

Oh Nikki, I am in tears for you right now just like I was when I read your blog post a few weeks ago. It just breaks my heart that he has to leave. Your family (and every other military family) are the most unselfish people. I pray for his safety and that his deployment goes quickly for you. I can't even begin to imagine what it's like for you to have to drop him off and say good-bye.

You definitely have my prayers!!
Kim

[NeverendingJen]

Oh Nikki...Big, big, BIG hugs to you. I'm in tears for you...I remember how rough that feeling is. I hope today goes by very very slowly, and then the next year flies by.

[taracotta7]

Nikki, I wish I could reach through this computer and hug your neck!!!!!! You can do this. You have proved this already. You have the strength and wisdom to endure and handle this. I can't imagine how much this sucks and takes an emotional toll on you.......just know that YOU can DO this. AND we are all here when you need a little pick up, vent session or some virtual hugs. Sending lots of prayers and hugs your way!!!!!! ((HUGS))

[emmasmommy]

you guys will be in my prayers for the next year nikki. i just can't even imagine. ever.

[seatrout]

Will be thinking of you and the kids. You are so brave.

[*Celeste*]

hugs to you nikki i'll be thinking about you today!

[nikkiARNGwife]

Thanks. He won't have leave to come home at all..so we won't see him again til it's over. I don't feel brave or strong much. This time my coping with it has been mostly avoidance..not thinking about it..pushing him away to some extent these past couple of months (without meaning to).

The hardest part is the kids...I can't tell you how heartbreaking it is to know that they won't see him for a year..Ella is 3 and when he gets home she'll be about to turn 4..he's going to miss SO much. And my little Avery..he breaks my heart with how sad he is that his Daddy is leaving. He's had an upset stomach all week...and I've had to pick him up from school twice this week and I really feel like it's all b/c he knows Daddy is leaving.

Gah...I'm a wreck today. I'm going from panicky anxiety to tears and back again. I swear I need a nerve pill or something.

[Lyd]

Ugh. My heart just breaks for you Nikki. Sending prayers that he will be safe and that you will have everything you need while he is gone. HUGS!

[Jengerbread88]

((hugs)) I'm praying for you!

[xboxmom]

Nikki I am so sorry your husband is leaving for the year, I can't imagine how anyone who has a military husband/wife can make it through. I really admire all the families that do this. Be strong and know that your digi family is always here to lend an ear. *hugs*

[digideb]

((((hugs)))) & I'm praying for y'all!
Can I just say "Thank you"? I don't think I could be a military wife. It definitely takes special people to be a military family! Y'all sacrifice so much! So, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

[kscwgirl]

I'm so sorry Nikki. I'm so sad for you. Lots of hugs and love.

[shastahun]

I've gone through 2 deployments, so if you need someone to talk to please feel free to PM me! So sorry your husband is leaving. I wish these deployments would stop. Most likely my husband will be deployed again this year as well. Hang in there! You are so strong and brave and you can do this! Is there a chance that he will be around a computer a lot and can Skype with you? That's what helped me while my husband was deployed. Skype was like my best friend.

[maryinaz]

I'm so sad and sorry for you and your kids Nikki, but we so appreciate his service and your sacrifices as a military family. This country could not function without people like you. I know it doesn't make it any easier though. Take lots of pictures and videos!

[heathergw]

I'm seriously bawling right now... I just can't even imagine... You have my sincerest prayers... I know that God will hold you through this and will always be there for you to comfort and guide and carry you through this hard time and I know that you will record those milestones and memories so that he can share in them with you guys when he gets home... And I will totally lift up Avery who is at an age where he really understands and I will pray for courage and strength for him, that he will not worry himself sick and that this year will go by quickly for him and for all of you... I just can't even begin to imagine how hard this all is for you and Brian and the kids!!!!

[mariewilcox]

I have no words of wisdom Nikki, but I know first hand what you are going through, so big HUGS!!! I always thought it would get easier with each one - the routine becomes easier, but the emotions certainliy don't. Just remember to be good to youself as best you can in order to be there for the kids.

[kristijoy]

Hugs Nikki. My heart goes out to you and your family. Hopefully the time will pass quickly!

[breakingbrie]

((hugs)) I'm so sorry!! Praying he stays safe, and I hope the year goes by fast for you - btw, I loved the ideas and activities you had posted on the blog a week or so ago! Those will be fun for the kids while their dad is away

[jacinda]

Hugs and prayers for you and your family Nikki. When my hubby deploys it's not usually longer than 6 months at a time. I can't imagine a year.

[glumirk]

*hugs*

[Nettio]

(((HUGS))) Nikki. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this again. I don't think I'll ever forget that feeling of dropping him off and driving away - I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It's making me tear up now just thinking about it.

And I totally understand about it being a bit of a relief - it means rather than counting down to him leaving, every day will be one day closer to when he'll be home again. Hopefully this year will fly by for you guys!

[Andrea Gourley]

Sending you hugs Nikki xxx

[Penny Springmann]

((((HUGE HUGS!!!)))) I'm so sorry he's leaving again! You and your family are in my thoughts! I hope this year passes quickly!

[BrattyMeg]

(((HUGS))) You are def in my thoughts and prayers!!

[emmasmommy]

i should stop reading this....
i'm crying all over again for you.

[Julie Billingsley]

((Nikki)) wish I could hug you and the kids. Military spouses and families make such a huge sacrifice for our world peace. It's heartbreaking. Hope the time flies by ((hugs))

[Giseli Freitas]

(((HUGS))) Nikki. I wish this year goes by fast for you and your kiddos. Lots of love and prayers on your way.

[marlathrall]

I couldn't do what military wifes do... No way; I'd go insane. I will be praying for you. Please know that you can always complain to us when things get hard.

[Kara]

Oh Nikki, I"m so sorry!

[eranslow]

Big (((HUGS)))! Will definitely keep you all in my thoughts and prayers!

[pomi]

((Hugs)) Nikki! You're in my prayers.

[cardinalskate]

I'll be praying for safety for your husband and peace and for time to fly for you and your family. You are brave and strong and I admire you so much. ((hugs))<<that just doesn't seem sufficient for what I really feel.

[ColleenSwerb]

Oh Nikki, I'm so sorry You guys will all be in my thoughts and prayers. I pray this year will go quickly for you.

[SweetMelissa]

Super hugs! Deployments suck. I hated dropping my DH off and then just walking away. Hardest thing ever to do.

I hope the year passes quickly. I'll keep him in my prayers.

[iScrap]

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you all for everything you do for this country. May God Bless your husband and all the troops and bring them home safely.

[LeeAndra]

I'm so sorry, Nikki. I had no idea that the NG deployed so often; it seems like you just got done with his last deployment. *hugs*

[lovely1m]

Hugs, Nikki.

[LJSDesigns]

Bless you and your family for your service. I can't imagine how hard it must be, but it is heroic of all of you. Thank you.

[MissKim]

Hugs Nikki. Thank you for the sacrifices of your family to keep my family safe.

[k23m]

huge hugs!! I can't imagine that...I hope the year goes by very quickly for you!

[sprauncey1]

Oh big hugs Nikki! Dropping off is {one of} the worst things. Actually when DH left to go to Kuwait before us, I didn't drive him to the Airport. I just couldn't handle it at the time with all that was going on for us. Because mentally even though you have NO CONTROL over him leaving, you dropping him off feels like you somehow do (irrationally). So big hugs for you today and the next few days. Wrap yourself up in your kiddos, take a break and just get through the next few days. It will get easier and then harder and then easier and then harder, YOU of all people know all this! Praying for you girl!

[nun69]

thinking about you....and after 20 years in the military I still never got use to it hoping this year goes by quickly for you, Avery and Ella....keeping you guys in my thoughts~

[Megan Turnidge]

I'm sorry, Nikki. I could not handle being away from my hubby for so long. (hugs)

[joelsgirl]

{sob} Hurting for you and your babies now. That's the worst part is how they'll grow and he won't be there.

[NatalieKW]

Hugs!!!

[scrap2day]

Sending hugs and prayers.

[Milmomma]

((hugs)) I'm sorry, and hope it flies by for ya!

[nikkiARNGwife]

Thank you all SO much for you kind words! He's gone now. I dropped him off at 5:30 this morning. We were able to have a nice night out last night just the two of us which we really needed. It never gets easier though..saying goodbye like that. I just got home about half an hour ago and just walking in the door and seeing things around the house that he left behind got me started all over again. 1 day down..310 days to go.