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#1
03-03-2014, 03:58 PM
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Vacations without kids
Hubby and I have never had a "real" vacation without the kids.. and we never had a honeymoon..
Part of me would really like to take a trip away just with him but then the other part of me would feel really guilty not taking the kids with us. So just putting a question out there.. do you take vacations away with just the two of you without your kids? Do you relax and not feel guilty or do you end up wishing you had the kids with you? 
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#2
03-03-2014, 04:11 PM
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Yes, and I think it's very healthy for our relationship. We will talk about the kids but we do not feel guilty for leaving them. They generally love staying with whoever watches them anyway.
I say go for it!
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#3
03-03-2014, 04:32 PM
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we haven't ever and we didn't get a honeymoon either, but we're planning to go on a trip just us on our ten year anni (in 3 years) so the kids will be old enough that i won't have to worry about someone changing diapers, getting up ten times a night with gemma, dealing with her crazy separation anxiety, etc. i'll worry less and enjoy myself more if we wait a bit longer.
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#4
03-03-2014, 04:54 PM
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We went to Vegas for a long weekend when I was pregnant with our youngest and spent another long weekend about five years ago. It was nice to get away just the two of us and not have to worry about the kids' schedule (i.e. we ate popcorn during a movie for a meal which our kids would never let us do). I didn't feel guilty about leaving the kids -- they stayed with my parents and had a great time -- and we had fun, too. Not more fun than we have when the kids are there, but we had fun.
Now we're at the age where our kids are choosing to stay home from vacations because hey, he's 19 and working two jobs, and I'm worrying about how different vacation will be without my kids there. It's all a big circle.
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#5
03-03-2014, 04:58 PM
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Yes! Yes! Yes! Maybe I am a terrible mother, but I think it is TOTALLY healthy and good to have a life outside of and away from your kids and I don't feel guilty about it for a second. It makes them more independent and able to deal with other people and situations away from you and it makes you a little more sane because you get that space and time to yourselves.
Rocky and I leave the kids to go out to dinner or lunch frequently so we have time together that's just the two of us. It helps that our youngest is 8 now, but I wouldn't think twice about leaving them for a weekend away.
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#6
03-03-2014, 04:58 PM
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The only time we've ever left the kids for more than overnight was when I went with hubby to San Francisco when he had to go for a work conference. It was really nice, though, and I'd love to do it again. We'll have our 15th anniversary next year, and I'm hoping we'll be able to do something then.
Don't feel guilty! Just go and enjoy!
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#7
03-03-2014, 04:58 PM
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Screw that noise, my dad went everywhere when we were kids and never took us..rome, the bahamas, etc. At the time, I was a whiny little brat and complained about not getting to go, but now I TOTALLY get it. Not to say you shouldn't take vacations with kids, but when you go non-kid places, don't feel guilty about leaving them at home.
I wouldn't go to Disney without my kids...but Hawaii kidless sounds amazing...
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#8
03-03-2014, 04:59 PM
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I was gone for a full week last year for Vegas...Th-W night and it was seriously the best decision ever.
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#9
03-03-2014, 05:10 PM
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Jon & I took our Hawaii vacation without the kids - it was our very late 5 year anniversary/my 30th birthday plan. I was more worried about something happening to both of us (I have a quite intense fear of flying) and leaving the kids parentless than I was about leaving the kids & doing something fun without them. Our vacation was sooooooooo relaxing. I would do it again in a heartbeat (yes, even the super long flight!). While we were there, I didn't feel a bit guilty about not bringing the kids - and not only because the thought of bringing our kids on 9 hours worth of flights at this point in time sounds like the most unappealing thing ever.
I say go for it!! I hear Minnesota is a highly sought after vacation destination! 
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 siggy by the incredibly amazing Jacinda
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#10
03-03-2014, 05:10 PM
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We've never been to any sorta beach resort type place. I know Darcy would love to go (the thought makes me nervous and uncomfortable but most people already know i'm weird)
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#11
03-03-2014, 05:12 PM
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#12
03-03-2014, 05:14 PM
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Uh, our kid isn't even born yet and we're already planning a kid-less trip for our 10th anniversary in 2015 (Australia!). I have no doubt there will be some eager grandparents willing to watch him.
 Honestly, my parents used to leave us for the occasional weekend or when they went to Hawaii and Mexico for their 10th/20th anniversaries and I never thought it was a big deal. If you can find someone for them to stay with who they love, it can even be a mini vacation for them away from the parents. I say it's healthy for both the kids & parents to have those times apart. We still took plenty of trips as a family too and I have fond memories of both types of vacations. I wouldn't feel guilty in the least about it. 
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#13
03-03-2014, 05:15 PM
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We went on one trip (a long weekend down to Brandon MO) since we had Blake and it was awesome! This June we are going on a cruise and we are totally looking forward to it! It's so nice to be able to just be yourself and not have to worry about naps or what the kiddos are eating and all that crazy everyday stuff. Do it!!
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#14
03-03-2014, 05:16 PM
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Absolutely it's okay to go away without your kids! I think it's a great time for you and your hubby to enjoy one another without the stress of worrying about the kids. Go, relax, and focus on each other, not the kids!!
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#15
03-03-2014, 05:16 PM
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We've only been away from them for a couple nights, mainly because I don't think my inlaws would keep them for a longer amount of time yet. We're going to Chicago for our 10 year anniversary in April, just 2 nights, and no, I don't feel guilty. I'd love a week away. LOL!
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#16
03-03-2014, 05:18 PM
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Dude, John and I went to Disney World without the kids (this was when we already had 3 of them) to this day I still don't feel guilty for it. lol
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#17
03-03-2014, 05:18 PM
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We took our honeymoon on our 10 year anniversary...flew to Hawaii for a week. It was awesome! I think we appreciated it so much more than we would have earlier. No guilt about leaving the kiddos behind, they had a ball without us.
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Amy
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#18
03-03-2014, 05:18 PM
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And no, the whole time we were there I kept thinking that this is the only way to do Disney - without little people.
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#19
03-03-2014, 05:18 PM
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No kiddos here yet either, but we totally plan on traveling some without out them when they do arrive. I think it's important to have that time away as a couple and really connect. Go for it!
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#20
03-03-2014, 06:21 PM
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Dh and I have gone on several trips w/o the kids and the first one or two I was a mess worrying about the kids but I totally learned to love it. I also think that time alone is super important for a couple. I am a firm believer that you need to put your marriage first ...if that is not sound and working, than the family unit sure won't. So take them time to just BE together.
That all being said if I didn't have family I don't think I would have left my kids over night. I could never trust anyone else that much. They always got to stay with my m-i-l.
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#21
03-03-2014, 06:31 PM
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My girlfriends and I go every other year to Disneyland without our kids or hubbies....best.time.ever. Don't get me wrong. I love taking my children to Disneyland. But......no kids=no whining, no hubbies=no whining, just the girls=lots of "wine"ing. 
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#22
03-03-2014, 07:02 PM
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What is this "vacations without kids" ye speak of?
 ...says the person married for almost 24 years, oldest kid is almost 22 years old and we have never both been away from the kids. Not even for ONE night. I've been gone, and DH has been gone, but never gone together.And I'm already thinking a Hawaii trip in 2015 to celebrate our 25th anniversary, but WITH the kids. I figure at this point, they can all go off on their own and do their own thing and leave us in peace anyway. I WILL say, we never had anyone to leave all 4 kids with. And if something were to happen to the both of us, we had no one to be guardians either. Now, they are old enough we don't have to worry so much about that.
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#23
03-03-2014, 07:16 PM
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I say do it and don't feel guilty if they have people eager/willing to watch them. I wish we could take a real vacation just us, but it isn't going to happen. For the last 3 years (since my youngest was 2) my parents have watched them for 1 overnight a year for us. We had to stay close to home, but thoroughly enjoyed every minute of that time! I never felt guilty the kids weren't with us, but I did sometimes feel guilty for leaving my parents with all that work. (My kids are great, but watching Ben isn't easy. We never leave him with anyone but close family.)
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#24
03-03-2014, 09:14 PM
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Don't feel guilty - it's very healthy for your marriage. We've done it a couple of times.
If we're going w/o kids, I want to go somewhere where you wouldn't be able to bring kids, such a wine tasting tour. For our 20th, we went to Toronto & saw a couple of plays. Go stay at a B&B, stay out all night, do something you wouldn't be able to do if you had your kids with you.
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#25
03-03-2014, 10:32 PM
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My kid won't even sit with a babysitter for the night. I think he would stay with my parents for a couple nights, but my parents just aren't able to do that physically.
It works out for us though because the kind of vacations I personally like my kid likes too! I like touring and seeing places. We aren't sit on the beach and suntan kind of folks.
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#26
03-03-2014, 10:49 PM
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yeah... leaving J so just the two of us go on vacation would so not fly with my family... we feel too guilty to even have him watched so we could go on a date night... lets just say, I would never hear the end of it if we left J to go somewhere.
Plus, if we left J with my hubby's side, J would come home an alcoholic with a gambling addiction. I would love to be able to spend more time with DH... but then he doesn't get to spend a lot of time with J, so are vacations are our time together... and I'm like Kristi... I like doing things that J likes to do, too.
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#27
03-03-2014, 10:50 PM
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Do it and don't feel guilty. Kids enjoy the time away from their parents. We tend to take our son with us: we only have one child though. We have gone to Chicago alone for a few days a couple of years ago, and we have taken short trips when he has been at camp, on an educational trip, or visiting families.
That said, we typically take our son with us because we tend to either go places he likes (Disney, beach, etc.) or places that may end up as once in a lifetime trips that we don't want him to miss out on and that we want to share the experience with him (Hawaii, Australia. Europe, etc.). We are going to Morocco in April, and I honestly did not plan on taking him with us this time. He is getting older, it is harder to pull him out of school, and he is independent enough he can handle it. In the end, I booked a ticket for him- we couldn't let him miss out on the experience.
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#28
03-04-2014, 01:49 AM
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Chan and I are headed out on the 15th of this month without the kids for a week in Spain. Eeek! This will be the first time we have ever left them without adult supervision too! 2 years ago we went to Belgium, Hungary, Romania and Ireland but my In Laws watched them. This time it's just my oldest son (18) who will be holding down the fort! I am nervous for sure but I think it's a great opportunity for him to learn some life lessons while we are away. And maybe he will have more respect for what I do everyday.
We will be skyping with them each day to check in.
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#29
03-04-2014, 09:41 AM
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Enjoy your time away, Kim!!
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#30
03-04-2014, 10:08 AM
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DO IT! my husband and I go away at least once a year by ourselves and it's sooooo good for us! it's just fun to get to do all the stuff you can't do with kids there - but it's even better to remember what you're like as just you and him. cause let's face it - one day the kids'll be gone and you'll be alone again - better get good at that now!
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#31
03-04-2014, 11:25 AM
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If you have someone to watch your kids, do it!!
We went to hawaii for our 10 year and like sara, I was much more worried about something happening to us and leaving our kids without parents. We had a fabulous time together and it's amazing what you can accomplish without kids. We probably won't do a big trip like that again until the kids are old enough to be by themselves or much easier to take care of because they would be older, just because we have more kids and it would be a lot harder to find someone to stay with them for a long period of time. I do, however, fully intend to go somewhere close by for a couple nights every few years... once we're done having babies.
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#32
03-04-2014, 11:48 AM
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We had never left our kids in the 10 years since they were born. In February we went to Orlando for 3 days for a conference and we all survived. Now that we know we can all do it I hope we can go without the kids again sometime soon!
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#33
03-04-2014, 02:39 PM
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Our youngest is 4 and oldest is 7 and aside from a couple weekends away, we have never been on a real vacation together. So we are going to Hawaii for a week this summer without kids, and I can not wait. My husband works very long hours and we rarely get time alone, so it will be a much needed vacation. I will think about and probably miss the kids. But we will be very happy to have the time away.
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#35
03-04-2014, 04:16 PM
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We've had a couple nights alone here and there when either my mom or my MIL watched DD for us, but no real vaca thus far.
It is definitely on my list of MUST DO things once things get settled around here & I pop this dang baby out.  I plan on taking at least 2-3 long weekends a year sans kids + a major trip every few years. Mama gotta use her wings and FLY!
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#36
03-04-2014, 04:47 PM
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We haven't taken a trip without the kids, but that's more of a financial thing than anything else. Hope to do something for our 20th in 2017, and by then the kids will be old enough to understand and likely not care much.
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#37
03-04-2014, 11:50 PM
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Question for me is rather - do you take vacations??? My husband has his own business (and is the sole employee) so he NEVER takes time off, hence we never go anywhere much - a long weekend once a year or so. And that's always with kids. I also take off with the kids myself for a week during school holidays sometimes to visit family. But, even if we could take 'real' holidays we don't have anyone to leave our kids with - we have no relatives within 400km and I wouldn't impose on anyone else. But yeah, if circumstances were different, I would definitely go on a (short) holiday without the kids. They'd probably be happy to be free of us nagging them to do this and do that!!
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#38
03-05-2014, 05:02 PM
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I haven't yet taken a vacation without my kids. But since the Ex & I are split up I think I'm going to take a trip somewhere one week while he has the kids. The possibilities are endless. Vacations with my kids are a little bit more difficult since my middle child is special needs/disabled.
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#39
03-05-2014, 05:40 PM
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Lately we have taken the kids when we go on vacation, but we have decided the next one will be adults only. We've even already told them that even though nothing is planned. They were actually fine with it. I expected them to be really upset honestly. I remember when I was a kid my parents took a trip just them to Hawaii. I got to spend a week with my grandmother, and they got to reconnect.
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Lucrecia   
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#40
03-06-2014, 12:40 AM
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My MIL has insisted that we take a trip every year just the two of us. From year one she watched our then 2 month old and every year since she's taken the kids for a week or more so my husband and I can have a little get away.
At first it's hard not to feel guilty, but honestly, you have to have time to tend to your marriage and have a once a year escape together really helps reconnect. We spend time together planning our adventure which builds up anticipation even more. Some years it's just a weekend at a local beach. Some years (like this year) it's a big trip like 2+ weeks in Europe. I find what helps is that my kids are entertained and doing something special with Grandma and Grandpa so I don't feel guilty. I also try to tell myself that I'm teaching my girls that nurturing your relationship with your husband is important. We still do family trips, but I won't ever give up our two person trips. Even if we have to staycation with the kids down the street. Why wait for you kids to leave the nest to do these things? Life is short - you have to live it.
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 Last edited by julifish; 03-06-2014 at 12:43 AM.
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#41
03-06-2014, 01:01 AM
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I probably should've added that my DH and I had our kid rather late. We were married almost 20 years before he was born. In that time my DH and I did a lot of travelling before he was born. We've been to India several times, Europe several, and lots of long road trips in the US. That helped us get through a lot of the travel 'bug'! Now I can't wait to take my kid to a lot of those places!
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#42
03-06-2014, 01:01 PM
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