Am I crazy!?!?!

[mummytothree]

So for 6 years I have been telling my hubby to get a vasectomy. When baby #3 was about to be born he said he thought he was done..so I said...if I end up with a c-section I'd get my tubes tied...if not he had to get the big V. Well no section happened so I told him it was up to him.

Well then we decided to have #4 and again I made him the same deal as before, well no section again so it was up to him. Fast forward 10 months and we had an oopsie and got our 5th little babe and again I told him same deal as always. Well once again...no section and once again he dropped the ball and never got snipped.

Well for the past 20 months I have been begging him to get the snip...I blew up a few weekends ago and told him I was tired of him messing around and pouting about getting snipped and it was time to hike up the big boy panties and just get it done!! So he made an appointment and had his consultation and it's scheduled for June 13th and I can't stop crying every time I think about it!!!

I mean as soon as he came home from his appointment and told me the date I just started bawling and now I don't want him to get it at all!!!

But the even crazier thing is I don't want another baby...I don't want to be pregnant again. The thought of giving birth again is enough to give me an anxiety attack. The reason the big blow up happened is because I was like a week late and when I thought it might be because I was pregnant I had a full blown panic attack!!!

So is this normal....did any one else feel like this when their hubbies were gonna get snipped? or and I in fact just crazy!?!?!

[nun69]

after baby #4 I rold him it was his turn and actually he was more than willing...and I didn't have any anxiety about uit because I was already 37 and I KNEW we couldn't do it again....{{{HUGS}}}

[emmasmommy]

hmmm, i wanted dh to get it done when i was still pregnant so, um, no, i can't say i felt the same LOL

[KateD]

No, you're not crazy

We knew we wanted to stop at 2 kids and hubby was more than willing to make sure that #3 didn't happen. I still have moments when I wish it was possible for us to have another baby, although I DO NOT really want another child. At all. I think it may just be a "mom thing" to feel that way.

[Leah]

It's seems so permanent. I'm famous for changing my mind. When DH had his done, I was so on the fence. I didn't want any more babies, but I didn't like the thought of NOT being able to.

Let me tell you now...I am sooooo THANKFUL that he had it done. To go through the stress of wondering every time my period was wonky or I felt weird...ugh it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. I am done having babies. D.O.N.E Pheww!

But no, you're not crazy for feeling the way you do. I think it perfectly natural.

[4noisyboys]

I did the exact same thing E, except I wasn't the one pressuring my dh to get it. He made the appt. himself. It was so hard...even though the thought of being pregnant again and having another baby was enough to make me have a breakdown.

You really have to sit and discuss the what if's. If there is no way either of you want or will want another child, then let him do it. Cry if you want, but tell him not to let that sway him. I really thought I still wanted another one when Rick had his, but after Eric was about 5 or 6, I was so glad there would be no more and happy that he made the appt. and had it done.

[Traci Reed]

I get it... I'm DONE with 3 babies but I'm getting an IUD rather than have him get the big V because I don't like the permanence..

[HeatherKS]

I can't say that I felt that way when dh got his done. In fact, I was the one that made his appointment. LOL

But my SIL just had their 5th baby and got her tubes tied when they did her c-section. She was completely emotional about it even though they were "done" after their third baby and 4 and 5 were surprises. For her it was definitely the permanence of the whole thing and that the possibility was taken away from them completely - even though she has no desire to have another baby. Two months later and she's never been happier that she got it done and can be worry free. It definitely took her some time to get used to the idea though. *hugs*

[pewtertm]

Nope...after 43 hours of l&d with Rachel, I flat out told DH to get neutered before I was cleared for any other activity...or there would be no other activity. LOL. Thankfully he was more than happy to do it; and it is possible to have it reversed, but we will not be doing that.

[Lyd]

You're not crazy at all Elizabeth. Once I get this little babe into the world in September, I'm completely done. And, so is DH. I can't stand the thought of being pregnant again. But, I think there's just something in us as women where we like the idea that we CAN create and grow and nurture another life. So, having the possibility go away can be emotional. I totally get that.

I've also said that if I happen to end up with a c-section, I'll just tell them to tie things up. But, I doubt that will happen, so I'll have to be talking to DH about something more permanent for him.

But, don't forget, vasectomies can be successfully reversed. My BIL reversed his and they were pregnant within a year following the reversal.

[Traci Reed]

Sometimes they fail too... I know three Vasectomy Babies...lol

[Shawna]

My DH wanted one after our two girls, he said two was perfect for him but I wouldn't let him make the appointment. I always felt like three was our perfect number and then we got surprised with Kyle so I was right! At my very first prenatal appt. with my OB/GYN though I told her I wanted a tubal right after he was born! I've never regretted our decision, we are happy with our three and definitely done with the babies! Luckily we have several siblings having babies in the next few months so I get my baby snuggle fix and get to give them back to their parents afterwards lol!

[kim21673]

DH had it done in February and I totally CRIED!! I still get sad!

I joked around for a few months after saying there's still time...I could just go off the pill and we could see what happens!!! I would love to have #5 as crazy as I might sound but I know he is done...otherwise he wouldn't have gone in b/c he is a total chicken with knifes, shots, and doctors!!! He was suppose to go in after #3 and didn't and thank goodness b/c now we have Derek!!!

I, too, said that IF I had to have a c-section after #3 and then again wtih #4 I would have my tubes tied but actually giving birth is the only easy thing for me and my pregnancies!!!

[cardinalskate]

You're definitely not crazy. It's such a hard decision. For us, once the decision was made, we were both relieved and my hubby was more than willing to get it done. No more worries is a relief, 'cause yep, the thought of having another one almost gives me an anxiety attack, too.

[Jennilyn]

I had my tubes tied when I had my second c-section and I am/was totally fine with it. I hated being pregnant and DH only ever wanted 2 kids. I think our lives are perfect with just our two girls. My brother is just getting his family started with my 1 1/2 year old niece (& hopefully more kids in the future) so there are still some babies in the family to give some lovin' to.

[kscwgirl]

Jeff got his done 3 months before JJ was born. It was just not an option for us to have more. Sometimes I still get sad about it but then I'm like.. nooooooo lol I'm totally fine with it.

[Stacey42]

You are not crazy. We knew we were done after #2 because I knew I couldn't cope with any more postpartum complications & suspected #3 might just cost me a kidney.

But i still cried they day he had it done. And we were careless afterward before he'd been tested to make sure it took. I thought I was pg again & cried even more when I found out I wasn't because it was the for real for ever end (and who cares about stupid kidneys, you can manage with one)

[mummytothree]

See I think it is the permanence thing I'm struggling with!! I am so happy with our family!!! It's perfect and I can only see it getting more perfect (once this last one is weaned and potty trained) as the years go by. All my kids are at fun (but different) stages and our family has never run as smooth as it does now...........BUT............. all I have know for the last 13 years is pregnancies and babies and I think the thought of that being taken away from me scares the doo doo outta me!!!

*sigh* Of course that's a little bit of the problem too...is I think I've let being pregnant and having babies define who I am and have told myself for so long that that is all I'm good at (for). Now that that "job" is being taken away from me I'm feeling a little (a lot) lost!!!

Thanks for sharing all your stories and experiences with my girls!! It does help to know that I'm not the only one out there who has felt this way!!! Maybe hubby and I need to talk about it just a bit more before the big day gets here!!!!

[jessica31876]

I had my tubes tied after my c-section and I was positive I did not want any more. I still KNOW I do not want another but sometimes I just feel that pull of ohhh gosh a baby is so sweet and I loved having the little ones around. Then I remember what it is like with the two I have at home as teenagers and remember they do not stay sweet little babies forever and the urge disappears. Thats not to say I do not still LOVE babies...I do but I figure one day will come when I have a little grandbaby and then I can love and spoil them and then send them home with mom and dad I think it is hard to think about the permanence of either of you getting the snip/snip because there will always be the what-ifs even when you are 100% sure you dont want more but you have to realize you have a great family and then just allow yourself to feel sad if you need to. I dont think it is crazy at all though

[MommaTrish]

I think it's normal to feel that way. There's no way I want to be pregnant again (iffy on if I want another baby lol - I just do NOT want to be pregnant) but I just can't bring myself to push John to get a vasectomy. And since he's thinking maybe one more would be nice someday he just keeps his mouth shut about babies altogether. I think he's hoping for another "uh-oh."

[Paula]

I don't think you're crazy at all. My sister went through the same thing when her hubby got the snip. She said it just was the reality that she would have no more babies after that. But, she was like you, had five and didn't want anymore. I think it's just the finality of your child bearing years that gets you.

[livelys]

Originally Posted by Traci Reed

I get it... I'm DONE with 3 babies but I'm getting an IUD rather than have him get the big V because I don't like the permanence..

This is what we did - but mainly because the waiting list for the snip was months & months (private wasn't a financial option for us).

...I'm glad I did actually as its helped me with my periods (pain & heaviness) enornously.

[sprauncey1]

Originally Posted by paperboutique

It's seems so permanent. I'm famous for changing my mind. When DH had his done, I was so on the fence. I didn't want any more babies, but I didn't like the thought of NOT being able to.

Let me tell you now...I am sooooo THANKFUL that he had it done. To go through the stress of wondering every time my period was wonky or I felt weird...ugh it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. I am done having babies. D.O.N.E Pheww!

But no, you're not crazy for feeling the way you do. I think it perfectly natural.

word for word!