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Old 02-29-2020, 09:36 PM
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Default Do you scrap the "bad" stuff?

I can only think of a couple layouts I've done of the tough stuff we've gone through, and usually after we've come out the other side. I don't know that I'd print it in my scrapbook. I do think it's sometimes therapeutic to get it out of my system and onto the page.

I do see some other layouts here and there about tough stuff, so some of you scrap them. Do you print them in your books?

Do I really want to remind everyone about what happened? I think I could do a whole book on parenting a certain adult child! It's been one of those days. If I were texting I'd be sending this:
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Old 02-29-2020, 09:53 PM
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I scrap the tough stuff. Some things in the moment, others after the fact. I don't usually post online, but I do print them. Most of the time, I save them and put them into one photobook. Like an All About Me book - just my thoughts, feelings and tough stuff that's more like an art journal than a family scrapbook.

Oh, and I hope things get better.
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Old 02-29-2020, 09:55 PM
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I feel you! This is mine




Those moments, I scrap them just for the therapeutic level. but printing...I've yet to include them in the printed albums.

But things like attitude photos, crying photos, I'll print them because that's a stage of their life. I know the layouts you are talking about scrapping....I look at them more for therapy. Scrap them, delete them and put them behind you as some sort of closure on the situation

I'm just an ear away, but please know I'm praying for you guys!
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Old 02-29-2020, 10:26 PM
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I'm sorry you're struggling with one of your kids! I hope they start making better choices soon!

I don't use scrapping as therapy. If there's something on my mind that I need to get out, I'm more likely to write it all down on paper than to scrap it. The things I scrap are meant to be printed in our family album and seen by all, so I take that into account when deciding what to scrap.

My answer for scrapping the tough stuff is "sometimes." Helpful, right? There are some tough times that are major life moments and would feel conspicuously absent if I didn't scrap them. Things like deaths, special needs diagnoses, and divorces I'd scrap in some fashion.

One of the criteria I use when deciding whether to scrap something is whether I'd be okay with the person I'm writing about or our extended family reading that page. If no, then I don't scrap it. For example, one of my kids has a genetic disorder than includes autism, ADHD, and other physical and behavioral challenges. When he was younger I did mention his delays when I scrapped developmental milestones that he achieved, like walking. It was easy to do with those pages because I could put a positive spin on it. It was also easy to scrap tantrums when he was little and they were still kind of cute. He's 13 now and still has tantrums and meltdowns, but I'd never scrap them now. We don't know how independent he'll be as an adult, and DH and I worry a lot about that. I wouldn't scrap those worries because I wouldn't want Ben to read them. If he's having a tough week I might mention that in a Project Life layout, but I wouldn't go into detail. It doesn't feel like a violation of his privacy to say something like, "Ben has had a tough week" or "Dan and I are frustrated by Ben's refusal to do homework lately," and it wouldn't bother me to have him or other relatives read something like that. On the other hand, it would feel wrong to go into detail about exactly how he melted down, how those difficult weeks made us worry about his future, etc.
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Old 02-29-2020, 10:43 PM
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Personality layouts are my very favorite to create so yes, I include the good & the bad in our lives. I have the same general rule of thumb as Rach: bigger things that "must" be included are, at least cursorily, and lesser things may or may not be.
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Old 02-29-2020, 10:50 PM
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Yes everything, the loss of my mother was the hardest but I’m glad I documented it by scrapping. It honestly helps me release my feeling the good the bad and the ugly.
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Old 02-29-2020, 11:16 PM
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Aaaw, Cindy, sorry you are having such a difficult time right now. I'm also with Rach. General but not detailed about my kids; however, about myself is different. I also don't print my pages so there isn't that consideration.
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Old 02-29-2020, 11:17 PM
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Quote:
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I feel you! This is mine
You made me laugh, Wendy, so thank you! I know you know!
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Old 02-29-2020, 11:17 PM
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Originally Posted by LynnZant View Post
Aaaw, Cindy, sorry you are having such a difficult time right now. I'm also with Rach. General but not detailed about my kids; however, about myself is different. I also don't print my pages so there isn't that consideration.
LOL Not printing makes that decision easier! LOL
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Old 02-29-2020, 11:28 PM
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Originally Posted by rach3975 View Post
I
There are some tough times that are major life moments and would feel conspicuously absent if I didn't scrap them. Things like deaths, special needs diagnoses, and divorces I'd scrap in some fashion.

One of the criteria I use when deciding whether to scrap something is whether I'd be okay with the person I'm writing about or our extended family reading that page. If no, then I don't scrap it.
Yes, this! I don't want to embarrass anyone. We are all human and all have things we don't want to be reminded of! I do scrap deaths. But some things are just too painful and private.

I understand your worry about your son, though our issues are different. Hugs!!! I have two with special needs that will need lifelong support in different ways. One has autism and mental health issues and and one has major medical issues. But God is faithful and his mercies are new every morning!
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Old 02-29-2020, 11:30 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that you're having such difficult time.


Yes, I do, and I print them too. Most of the time it's hard to add a photo so I just use journaling, and most of the time I upload them but I blur the journaling, because I was feeling proud of myself that I was able to scrap what I was feeling or what happened. I print them because I annually make a book and I wanted to remember that day too, because I learned from it and I got out alive. It's my process of recovering and moving on. Some situations take me a while to make a page so the photo books took time to be printed as well.

There's one page I made where I used a Kevin and Amanda font, so that if I wanted to check my photobook, the font wasn't catchy at all. Like I will just check the other side of the book and move along.

But when it comes to my kid, if I can summarize what happened, like the very jist of the story where if one day she will see the book, she will know what happened just by the very short summary.
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Old 03-01-2020, 12:19 AM
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Sorry about the hard time...

Sometimes.... I never used to.. I used to only scrap happy stuff other than a boo-boo or illness. I have only just done a few more in depth ones about sadness and stuff. I don't usually print or share them.....


Also, It took me almost a year to scrap photos of my day care little, Kaylin that passed away.... every time I looked at a pic of her I would bawl... but then I decided to bawl while I scrapped. Some LO are harder than others, but it has helped me remember the sweet moments that I was so blessed her momma trusted me with her for 45 or more hours a week.
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Old 03-01-2020, 12:34 AM
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I tend to scrap everything...but those layouts go into my "journal" file. I haven't had them printed yet, but I'm thinking about using one of the shutterfly mobile app monthly freebies to have them printed; just as a reminder of all the crap we've made it to the other side of.
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Old 03-01-2020, 07:31 AM
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I do scrap them, but I will write in a sort of "code" so it doesn't embarrass or hurt anyone's feelings. I also try to see the humor in things, so I will tell it in a funny way or poke fun at my own frustrations. I print them, because I want an authentic record, not just rainbows and unicorns. We had a rough spring here last year with my son, and it seemed to follow a pattern of rough springs. Being able to look back and see the pattern in the scrapbook helps me mentally prepare for this year, lol, and also change the way we do some things. If I need to really vent, I'll write in a private journal. Really hard stuff that involves me, like losing my mom--that stuff I am slowly scrapping when I need to. It is therapeutic, because it feels like including her in something that is important to me now (scrapbooking). She can be IN my photobooks! I do not scrap the rough times I have with my dad and stepmom, though, because they sometimes look through my books. But I know myself and my writing well enough to catch all my tongue-in-cheek moments in my journaling.

I guess you could make the pages and enjoy the therapy, and you don't have to print anything if you don't want to. Or print them later, when circumstances have changed.
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Old 03-01-2020, 09:23 AM
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The little tough stuff definitely gets mentioned in my PL pages. Bigger tough stuff...I guess it would depend on what the stuff is, how far past it we are, etc. Maybe make it while we're in the thick of it, but print it when there's been some sort of resolution.
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Old 03-01-2020, 01:39 PM
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I'm so sorry you're having a difficult time, Cindi!! I'm walking it with you, and praying for you. I do scrap the hard things, but I tend to be vague if it's an issue with the kids. If it's something difficult for myself, I try to be open so as to discover what the issue is. However, I may blur the journaling.
I think at some point, I'll print a "private" scrapbook of these types of layouts.
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Old 03-01-2020, 01:40 PM
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I scrap everything, and print everything as well. I have been scrapping for many years and have lost plenty of LOs due to not printing so now I print everything I make although the bigger pages/most pics/travel/yearbook in 12x12 and the small ones/1 pic/tough memories or just for fun scrap in 8x8
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Old 03-01-2020, 02:05 PM
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Yes, I do. I scrap the good and the bad. If the journaling is way too personal (about other family members mostly) I will blurr it but usually I like to keep it real and don't mind other people reading what I am going through. Others might be able to relate and feel like they are not alone.

'Do you print them in your books? ' I don't print books ever, mainly because I find them very expensive over here. I do print layouts to frame them but I would not pick my difficult times ones.

Oh, the joys of having children. I could write a book about my teen....he loves to push my buttons and he knows I am going to react (which I shouldn't do!) but I am trying to not do that. It has to get better one day....right ??
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Old 03-01-2020, 02:10 PM
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I have to be careful what the content of my pages are b/c family members look at them and especially with B's TBI, I don't want her to see anything that could upset her or trigger her. So, I do scrap the "bad" stuff, a little bit, but only if there is a positive spin to it or it's generic enough that I can show her and isn't a specific moment. I really like to focus on the positive stuff or coming out the other end of something negative.
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Old 03-01-2020, 05:19 PM
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I have scrapped some tough things, and my plan is to YES include them in my albums. For me, it will be something for my girls to read and see how, with God's help, we got through a hard time in our lifes, and to see how we made it through on the other side. I don't want them (or future generations) thinking life was all roses! I want them to see from my pages that in trusting God, we were able to get through the bad, and see the good!

It's a personal preference. You could do a smaller album of some of the not so good. That way it's not mixed in with all your happy memories. and then you can chose whether to share it with your family or kids etc. Or for it to be a private album just for you and your eyes only.
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Old 03-01-2020, 05:27 PM
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I do have things that I want to eventually 'talk about' in some journaling only layouts because I think it may be helpful/relatable for future generations or even my kids later on in life to read and understand, cause you never know who may go through similar things eventually. But I really don't scrap every bad experience.... if i'm having a down time or a time of frustration, I MAY scrap an art journal type page that has the look of my current mood.... I find these pages to be therapeutic in pushing past the issue, and I have an art album for these photoless / journal-less type pages.
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Old 03-01-2020, 06:59 PM
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I wish I had scrapped from the beginning of my having children just so my kids can see that life is not all rosy and that we get through those tough times with God beside us.

I see now that my kids have forgotten some of the "bad" moments now that they are dealing with their kids and I wonder if I had scrapped when they were little if they would remember those rough moments and that we got through them.

I do agree that if it would be upsetting for a person to see or read then it may be one that you don't post. However if scrapping is your relief and will help you get over it then I suggest you scrap and just put in a folder for "your eyes only".
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Old 03-01-2020, 09:47 PM
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I scrap the bad, like our daughter's cancer diagnosis. But I wouldn't scrap/print about a certain child's behavior.

Yes, these are memories, good and bad, but I don't think anyone wants to be reminded of that a jerk they were once upon a time. I know I wouldn't want some of the things I did replayed over and over again. I just think would my kids want to read that about themselves in 20 years?

Now, I do have private journals for each of my kids, that I write "to them" in. I don't have a schedule, it's random, sporadic and I have talked about how much we butt heads. I wonder if they'll want to hear that one day, but I also want them to know that no matter how much we disagreed on things, I still loved the crap out of them! LOL!
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Old 03-01-2020, 10:21 PM
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Originally Posted by StacyLynn View Post
Also, It took me almost a year to scrap photos of my day care little, Kaylin that passed away.... every time I looked at a pic of her I would bawl....
Oh my goodness, that is awful Hugs and prayers for all of you that knew her! So sweet that you have those photos and memories and now scrapbook pages so her memory will always be alive!
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Old 03-01-2020, 10:26 PM
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I have to be careful what the content of my pages are b/c family members look at them and especially with B's TBI, I don't want her to see anything that could upset her or trigger her. So, I do scrap the "bad" stuff, a little bit, but only if there is a positive spin to it or it's generic enough that I can show her and isn't a specific moment. I really like to focus on the positive stuff or coming out the other end of something negative.
I totally get this! My one son has had over 30 surgical procedures. Most hospital stuff was before I started scrapping. I have only a few layouts of major milestones and only one or two pages of him in the hospital, and it was when his brother visited (we were usually at a hospital 4 hours away so it was always just me with him since Dad held down the fort with the other boys) and when he was doing something funny while there. Hey, laugh or cry, or as you say, put a positive spin on it!
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Old 03-01-2020, 10:28 PM
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I appreciate all the unique perspectives, definitely some things I didn't think of! Thanks for sharing!
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Old 03-02-2020, 04:08 AM
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I see now that my kids have forgotten some of the "bad" moments now that they are dealing with their kids and I wonder if I had scrapped when they were little if they would remember those rough moments and that we got through them.
Yes! I feel like if I include the struggles, then one day when they're struggling with something similar, they'll know they're not in uncharted territory & there's light at the end of the tunnel. So if they're dealing with some behavior issues or something with their kids instead of thinking, "man, my mom had it all together and I just can't figure this parenting thing out" (you know, because I'm so sure that's how they'll remember me, hahaha) they'll see that we dealt with it & survived. And I think it's a good message for them about unconditional love, too.
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Old 03-02-2020, 04:56 AM
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I wish I could scrap the bad things.
I scrapped the passing of my cat, but I'm not happy with the layout.
I wish I didn't "have to" scrap it, but I want to include it in my yearbook. I would feel bad if I didn't include it. It happened and I want to remember him and the story of how he died.

But other than that, I usually don't scrap all the bad things.
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Old 03-02-2020, 11:36 AM
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I can't think of one that has been just about the "bad" stuff. A few times I have mentioned in my journaling (a line or two) about the bad stuff, but the layout itself is not about bad stuff. I can imagine that it would be therapeutic to scrap the bad stuff, though. If I did, I don't think it would post is anywhere, although I might have the LOs printed.
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Old 03-02-2020, 11:44 AM
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I scrap the bad and sad stuff all of the time. I am pretty big on doing therapeutic art journaling type pages. lol (SSD actually used to have a monthly challenge in the old portfolio system based around the idea of scrapping the not good stuff which is what got me started doing it.) I don't generally add them to my printed books, I think the only exceptions being a page I scrapped about my miscarriage and one I did about my reactions to my 5th pregnancy.

Now just crappy kid days and attitude pages only get printed if they aren't embarrassing for said kid, but they generally get a mention in the project life projects I did.
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Old 03-02-2020, 04:14 PM
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I do scrap the "bad" stuff, a little bit, but only if there is a positive spin to it or it's generic enough that I can show her and isn't a specific moment. I really like to focus on the positive stuff or coming out the other end of something negative.
this^^
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Old 03-02-2020, 04:18 PM
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here are a couple 'emo' pages from me:





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Old 03-02-2020, 05:41 PM
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here are a couple 'emo' pages from me:

I love That photo! And that you captured the no sleep stage of a baby. And I just love Erica's sense of humor. She cracks me up! Love her journal cards!!
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Old 03-02-2020, 05:52 PM
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here are a couple 'emo' pages from me:





Your pages made me want to reach out and give you a hug. I was talking to my daughter about life yesterday and we agreed that unfortunately without the hard times, the struggles and the hard days, we wouldn't learn resilience, strength and perseverence so there is a silver lining to the "bad" stuff in our lives.
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Old 03-02-2020, 07:40 PM
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I do scrap hard things; scrap therapy is good for my soul. However, I don't put those layouts in our family albums. I have an album that's all about me, and nobody ever looks at it except me. Maybe one day when I'm dead they'll see it, but I won't mind then.
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Old 03-03-2020, 12:41 AM
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cindi- no sleep stage of a toddler! but we still call him the baby.

rae- thank you xo (hug)
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Old 03-04-2020, 11:46 AM
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I do scrap bad stuff - when it's personal I find scrapping very therapeutic. In the past I've looked back at those pages I've created and realized how things have changed - or how far I've come.

I recently scrapped this page of our grandson - (sprained foot and Influenza A at the same time ... poor little guy was miserable when his daddy snapped this photo)

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Old 03-04-2020, 01:46 PM
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Quote:
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here are a couple 'emo' pages from me:





These are amazingly poignant, Laura. I love how you've captured these memories.
Something that my mom once said, really brings this point home. She was talking about never hearing her parents argue (not that they didn't argue, they just didn't do it in front of the kids). Then, when she got married, and it wasn't easy, and they were fighting, she didn't know how to handle. She thought that because her parents never fought, and she and her husband were fighting, something was really wrong. I think pages like this show that we aren't perfect, or the situation isn't always easy.
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Old 03-07-2020, 07:04 AM
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Scrapping is therapy to me. I occationally scrap the bad stuff or just the frustrated feelings.
Mostly I do a journaling page without too many photos, as I rarely have photos of my worst moments.

Here are some of my inner thought and ramblings turned into great pages.










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Old 03-07-2020, 07:54 AM
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I’ve had a rough few months and I have scrapped some of it but I haven’t and probably won’t ever upload to the gallery.
It helped me immensely when I was scrapping it but it’s not something I want to share with the world so to speak.
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  #41  
Old 03-08-2020, 12:36 AM
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Sherri Tierney Sherri Tierney is offline
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I have found that scrapping the hard times can be so therapeutic. I've also made some strong resolutions while scrapping difficult times... resolutions that have led to big changes. So, ultimately, scrapping those pages was very important in my life. I label them as AAM and put them in a separate photo book when I print. I don't mind if my family reads them someday. However, I don't share stories that aren't mine to share.
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Old 03-10-2020, 12:22 PM
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icindi icindi is offline
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Simply beautiful, heartfelt pages!
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