Potty Training Advice???

[scrapperjade]

Oh goodness ladies - I need some serious help!! I'm attempting to potty train my DD (32 months), and I have NO idea what the heck I am doing!

My friend laughed when I told her that, said everyone feels that way the first time - and while it's good to admit - DON'T show your toddler that you aren't 100% confident. Easier said than done, lol.

So anyways, my DD is pretty stubborn and has NO interest in using the potty. I ask her if she wants to try to pee on the potty, and she says "No, I want to play!" or "No, I don't want the potty". I don't force the issue because I don't want to be a screaming lunatic and freak her out about using it.

We started putting her on the potty when she was 6 months old (once a day - when I would catch her pooping - she was pretty much like clockwork) because I had read that if you start early, they won't be freaked out by the potty when they are older. Well, it worked to some degree - she's not afraid of the potty, just doesn't want to use it. At all.

I have no idea what to do. I'm expecting #2, and I want DD potty trained by the time baby comes. I've bought her themed panties (Strawberry Shortcake because she loves the show), and I broke down and bought her boy McQueen gitchies because she is OBSESSED with Cars & McQueen. I pulled them out and showed her and she was excited about them, but refused to put them on, even over her pull-up.

I have some rubber pant things that go over her panties. Maybe I shouldn't be using the Pull-Ups (at this point, she has no idea they aren't diapers), and putting her in panties w/ covers so she feels that wet feeling??

Any help is appreciated. I know I'm going to get "She's not ready - wait a few more months" somewhere, but I'm not willing to do that right now. I want to give potty training a real go - and if we see no progress in a week or 2, THEN I will wait. I know my DD can do it. She's just being stubborn at this point in time, and I need to get her to understand that she's a big girl, and big girls use a potty!

[momtutu]

Here's what I did with DS...The issue with him was that he would *peep* in the potty but wouldn't *poop* there. I went to the dollar store, bought a bunch of little trinkets. I would wrap up one of the trinkets and put it on the tank of the potty so every time he would go *peep*, he would see the prize. I told him he could have the prize when he put the *poop* in the potty. After going a few times and realizing he couldn't have the prize, he finally started doing it. Once he got one prize, I'd wrap up another one and do the same thing again. Worked like a charm. I think we only went through about 4-5 prizes before I didn't need them anymore and the potty just became habit. Little things (coloring book, harmonica (which he still has and he's 10), etc).

I don't know how well this would work for your dd - mine seemed to be an issue of only one part of the potty process, not the whole thing. My method might cost you some bucks if you are passing out prizes every time she goes. :-) Good luck to you - I'm sure others have better ideas!

[dana]

i potty trained my first when she was two - and it went pretty smoothly ... basically, i let her run around the house naked for a week (i picked a week and just decided we were going to stay home a LOT that week and work on it!) we had baby potties placed around the house, so that it was always w/in reach ... i gave her lots to drink, and then every 15 minutes or so we would go to the potty and sit down to try to go .. if she did, she got a treat (i had some chocolate chips and some skittles - gave her one each time she went) ... she had maybe one accident of each type (i have hardwoods, so that wasn't a problem) and she figured it out after that! we continued w/ the treats for about a week, and then started weaning her off them (like a treat once a day if she used the potty all day). i did use a pull up when we went out for a couple of months, b/c i didn't trust her to tell me she had to go to the bathroom if she was having a lot of fun. she also wore a diaper at night for a LONG time afterward, b/c she is a very deep sleeper and will not wake up to go.

i'm going to do the same thing with my youngest - but probably even before she's two b/c she's 19 months now and LOVES to sit on the potty, tell me she needs a new diaper, etc ... so i think she'll be fine whenever i decide to do it!

good luck!! every child is different - so hopefully you'll find something that works!!

[sczos911]

personally - stop the pullups. pullups are glorified diapers. look at it from a kid's perspective - they don't feel wet when they go, they hold poops and pee...so they are diapers.

what i did with my first - i let her run around the house nudie bootie. nothing on the bottom at first. put her on the potty every 15 minutes & gave her one penny for sitting there (she was 2). she may or may not have gone, but i put her on every 15 mintutes. if she went - i upped it to every 20. if we had an accident in between time, then it was back to 15. i set the potty in front of the tv. granted she did not sit there a long time, but enough time. and if she peed- she went all over the floor, but it did not take her long to realize that the pee needs to go somewhere. i put panties on her at some point and if she wet those - well then we just did the whole 15 minute thing over again. diapers (no pullups) at night. i would say we were stuck at home for 3-4 days. and even then we ventured out on short trips with xtra clothes in my purse.

the penny - well, she did not want candy or sticker or anything like that, pennies worked. if she sat, she got one. which we then put in her bank after she was done sitting. it she went on the potty - i went crazy and tossed a whole handful of pennies on the floor, she would hunt them down and put them in her bank. after a while we just stopped the pennies.

i would ask her all the time if she had to go and sometimes i would just say we need to sit and try. just try.

and like dana said - everyone is different. the key is to find something that will motivate her. my youngest was m&ms and then bigger gifts if she went all day without an accident (like dollar bin items @ target!)

[sczos911]

oh! another thing - Elmo's potty video. LOVED it. We borrowed it from the library & at least 5 kids that i know have used it & it helped. we ended up buying it and the kids wore it out.

[Leila]

I'll be the one to say wait. If she's not interested, it will, more than likely, become a battle of wills. And I'm sure you don't need me to tell you just how stubborn a near 3 year old can be.

I agree with the naked booty advice. I didn't do it with D because he hated being naked, but I have seen it work with so many! I also agree with losing the pull-ups. Definitely just glorified diapers. Some sort of prize or even a sticker chart (that's what finally did it for D.) And--stock up on patience.

[scrapperjade]

Thank you ladies! I know it won't be easy, and I don't want it to be a battle. I managed to get her into a pair of panties and she's been really awesome about sitting on the potty today! This morning she said no at first, but then I put on her panties and she wants to try!

I've sat her on the potty to *try* 4 times now, and she's peed on the floor (3 times) within minutes after getting up, lol. I just tell her "Next time, let's try to get to the potty before peeing", and grab some paper towels & Lysol wipes and have her help clean the mess (then wash our hands thoroughly).

I'm scared to let her just play throughout the house nekkid because we have carpet in the living room & playroom... and our couch is fabric which soaks up everything (and the covers don't come off). Talk about stressful. We are planning on replacing the carpet in a month along with the couches, so it's not a big deal if she pees on them, but I'd like to have her do it in the actual potty once in awhile too, lol!

I love the penny idea! She LOVES to get money for her piggy bank! I think I'll get out our *huge* penny jar and start giving her one for every time she sits! And next time I go to the dollar store, I will stock up on little stuff for prizes!

[[michele]]

I'll be the one to say wait. If she's not interested, it will, more than likely, become a battle of wills. And I'm sure you don't need me to tell you just how stubborn a near 3 year old can be.

Yep. That's exactly how our youngest was. When she was ready, she was ready. Stress levels went way down when we backed off.

[lhaslem]

Congrats on #2 Jae....

Kylie just sat on the potty one day and did it (about 2-1/2 years old)...with Hayden we had naked boot camp for a weekend - luckily he was afraid of peeing on himself or the floor, so he decided to just plant himself on the portable potty in front of the TV or with a stack of books for most of the first day and when he did eventually go in the potty (since he happened to be sitting there), he'd be super excited and we'd all cheer and he'd get a treat...after that weekend he got the gist of what it was going to feel like when he needed to go and he just switched to the big boy potty. We never used pullups for daytime (unless we were going to be away from the house for an extended period of time), but did use them at night.

Good luck!

[schock77]

Originally Posted by sczos911

personally - stop the pullups. pullups are glorified diapers. look at it from a kid's perspective - they don't feel wet when they go, they hold poops and pee...so they are diapers.

Amen sista! I'm a special needs preschool teacher and I have trained literally hundreds of kids and nothing erks me more than when they stick with pull-ups as "a training tool". There is a VERY old book called Toilet Training in Less than a Day by Azrin & Fox that basically sums up what I do. Blocks of time in the bathroom with lots of water so they begin to recognize that "I need to go" feeling.

Hang in there! It doesn't have to be a huge pain to train kiddos!

[kim21673]

BRIBE!! LOL

We recently potty trained our DS who turned 3 at the end of August. I tried in June...it was a nightmare...tried again in July...nightmare....tried again in August and he was ready! He got a treat (a few M&Ms, gummies...something little) when he went on the potty. Seth is VERY stubbon and had no interest at first...he wasn't going to use it and wouldn't...so we put it away and tried again in a few weeks...when he was ready is when he finally sat on it!

We moved his little potty chair in the living room..AKA play room...so he wouldn't miss anything by going potty. Or if we were in the family room he would slide it down into the hallway so he could still see the TV. He would sit and watching TV, read a book, etc...while he went and would then end of sitting there for 10-15 minutes! LOL This lasted a week or so and then we moved it into the bathroom.

I let him run around with just his underwear on and that helped a lot.

Our biggest issue with potty training was him "dribbling". He would start to go in his underwear and then run to the potty chair and finish. We were changing his underwear and clothes about 10 times a day which was getting frustrating. Then we had to master the pooping....I think we finally did it...a few months later! Woo Hoo!!! No more dribbling and he STANDS up now!! Woo Hoo!!!

We only used pull-ups when we were going to be in the car for a long time b/c he would normally fall asleep (both boys still wore diapers at bedtime...4and 3 years old).

Well, I would like to say that we are 100% diaper free...for another 6 weeks!! LOL A month ago the boys went to my parent's house and stayed a few days. My mom "forgot" the diapers/pull-ups so they had to wear their underwear to bed. We had meltdowns at night for a few nights but they are both fine now. It was actually REALLY easy to potty train them at night!!! We have only had two accidents...the very first night at my mom's and last week when our 3 year old refused to go potty before bed.

I was determined to get rid of diapers before Baby arrives in November and we did it with a few months to spare!

[iteach3rdgrade]

We started this summer when my ds was 3. All spring he had refused to sit on the potty. He would once in awhile, but that was it.

We talked up being a big boy etc. We spent a few days running around with no pants on. He wasn't really fond of that. He'd love it now. We gave him Reese Pieces for going. Since he didn't like being without pants, we didn't do this for more than a day or two.

Once we realized he was being stubborn and he knew when he had to go we changed the bribe to get to the potty before you start peeing you can get a treat. Eventually, he didn't ask for treats and we didn't offer.

Here is what worked for us. DH took him to the store and looked at lights and sounds cars/trains etc. He could get one when he was potty trained. We used that reminder all the time. We also told him that if he peed in his pants with no effort of going to the potty then we would take a train.

We took a car trip, put him in a pull up and can you believe he waited until rest areas! Even at the hotel, he'd go without asking or telling. The entire routine was off and he'd ask to go. He even had Roseola and was sick and would go to the potty.

By this time he was pretty good at night, but we used pull ups. A month had passed by this point. We slowly put big boy pants on at night once he woke up dry.

With 2 weeks of dry all the time, he received his lights and sound car. Done!

We've used up all the extra pull ups and diapers we had stashed. We may buy some more for at night. He knows if he makes a habit of waking up wet then we take a train. Reasoning works with him.

One day he woke up and stood while peeing. Where is my baby?

Once we could reason with him, he was a done deal. So easy! In June, I did clean poop off the floor and out of big boy pants. I started making him use gloves to pick up poop of the floor.

Good luck! Reward and take away worked here. He even wants to potty train again to get another lights and sound car. Yeah, right!

[Roxxygerlie]

This was some awesome advice for me as well! My DD will be 3 in November and I am beyond frustrated with her. She has NO interest in going on the potty. I was using pull-ups as well so, I think I will buy her big girl underwear or even let her be naked since she loves to be naked anyways! And, the penny idea is FANTASTIC!!! She loves money! I never even thought to try that!!