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Old 02-10-2018, 07:44 PM
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Default Gift etiquette and a missing gift

My 9 year old had a birthday party 2 weeks ago, and one of the guests said that her mother was planning to email an Amazon gift card. We still haven't gotten it. If I knew that they'd forgotten to send it, I'd definitely let it go and not say anything. Having the friend there was much more important than the gift. But the thing that has me debating whether to mention it is the chance that they sent it and it just didn't reach us. If they spent the money on it, I'd feel terrible having it lost in cyberspace and never sending them a thank you card. So what would you do...nicely ask, or let it go?
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Old 02-10-2018, 10:06 PM
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I would let it go . . .unless I was very friendly with the mom.
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Old 02-10-2018, 10:25 PM
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I would let it go too. If they ask about it, then I would mention not receiving it, but not before.
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Old 02-10-2018, 10:41 PM
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I would definitely let it go.
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Old 02-10-2018, 11:19 PM
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Hmmm, that's a tough one. I guess it would depend on my relationship with the parent. If I'd sent a GC and it wasn't received, I'd want to know.
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Old 02-10-2018, 11:27 PM
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It is totally a tough one! We had a situation at my son's birthday party when he was opening gifts, and one of the boys was SURE he had brought a card with a gift card...it was nowhere to be found and the boy was getting upset. I sent his mom a message saying I wasn't worried about the gift, but her son seemed upset and wanted to make sure it wasn't lost. It was kind of awkward, but it turned out he had left it in the car on the way over, so his mom brought it over and all worked out well.

It's SO hard to delicately handle situations like that - you definitely don't want to imply that you want the gift, but if someone spent money on a gift card and you never got it, as the parent of the other child I'd want to know. Maybe you could send the friend a thank you card anyway, just for coming to the party? And then it's in the other parent's court as to whether to question if you received the gift card? I don't know, I'm the most awkward person in the world so probably not the best for giving advice.
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Old 02-11-2018, 01:15 AM
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yeah I definitely think it depends on the relationship with the mom. If you're not close, just let it go. People are so quick to get offended now days I would be afraid of stirring up unwanted drama if it were me. If she asks about it, or what he bought with it, I'd just say you never received it and forgot all about it.
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Old 02-11-2018, 04:08 AM
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What Sheri said. If it was me who was sending the GC and it wasn't received. I'd want to know as well.
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Old 02-11-2018, 06:38 AM
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I'd probably let it go. We had a situation last year in our house involving a forgotten gift at home (hubby thought I'd picked it up off the kitchen table, and I thought he had done it), it being ruined the following day by one of our children, a mad rush to the shops to replace it, and an awkward text from the birthday child's parent asking about the status of said gift.

We're good friends with the family, but I was a little embarrassed and slightly offended, and wouldn't want to make anyone else feel that way.
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Old 02-11-2018, 09:34 AM
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Ohhh that is a tough one.

On one hand, if I were the gifter, I'd wont to know if a gift I paid for hadn't been received so I could find out what happened to it? Did my kid lose it? Did it mail from the company itself and they screwed up? Did the post office drop the ball? etc?

On the other hand, as the giftee, I'd hate to have it seem like I was fishing for a gift.

I suppose this would really depend on how well you know the parents.
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Old 02-11-2018, 12:29 PM
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I agree with everyone else, what an awkward situation. Mom might have just forgotten to send it to and would be so embarrassed if she realized. That's totally something I would do.
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Old 02-11-2018, 12:34 PM
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I would assume that she said that to save face/because they don't have the money for a gift and not say a word to her.

I like Sara's suggestion to send thank you cards to everyone. When your son doesn't mention the GC in the card, she'll either breathe a sign of relief and move on or she will get a hold of you to ask why your son didn't mention the GC.
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Old 02-11-2018, 03:23 PM
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Thanks, everyone! I know the mother fairly well, but it's still such an awkward situation. The friend is having a birthday party later this month, so I think I'm going to do nothing for now. Maybe seeing Lauren at the other birthday party will jog her memory and she'll say something. If not, I think I'll go the route of having Lauren send a "thank you for celebrating my birthday with me" card.
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