School Frustration

[ayaandjudah]

My daughter is in first grade. Her teacher estimates her reading to be around a 4th grade level. This includes decoding, comprehension and higher order thinking.

We had her teacher conference last week and her teacher called her highly gifted. She suggested we speak to the school psychologist to see if there are any gifted services available to her.

So, I called and the psychologist went in and observed Addison. The good news is that she doesn't think she is ADHD, just some ADHD tendencies. The other good news is that she agrees that Addison is "highly gifted". The bad news is that she told me there is absolutely nothing that they offer gifted kids until FOURTH grade.

I'm really upset. Apparently if she had ADHD she would qualify for some services including an IEP. But since she's "just gifted" she get's nothing but nothing until 4th grade.

Our only option is to pursue private services including enrichment programs.

So, I'm torn and frustrated. We can't afford private school, it's just not an option. I have three kids and we can't make it work.

Would you pursue it higher and go to the principal? I'm new to this, she's my oldest. Is this something I can bring to the principal?

(I can't wait for my son to be in school. He's blissfully average!)

[YepBrook]

Is it possible for you to homeschool her? Have you ever considered it? I know this is probably not the response you were expecting, but for gifted kids (or any child at all) homeschooling allows you to work to your child's varying levels of ability in all subjects. For example, if she is gifted in reading you could choose a curriculum to challenge her. However, if she is not as gifted in math, you can stick with 1st grade level. It's wonderfully flexible, and if she has ADHD tendencies, homeschooling is great because you can finish your school work in a matter of hours and give her the chance to get up and move around. Sometimes we even do our schoolwork in the park so my son can play in between lessons. It's great.

You could homeschool her until 4th grade, personally offering her the level of studies best suited for her, and then enter her back into public school.

[ayaandjudah]

Unfortunately, homeschooling is not for us. I do not have the patience to do it and I'm afraid it would harm her. I teach/taught on the college level and do not have the patience to teach on the elementary level. In addition, I work three days a week.

I did tell my husband that I wish I had the ability to teach her as I do think she would benefit from a positive homeschool experience.

[MamaBee]

Our state (Wisconsin) has an association for gifted and talented with information available... http://www.watg.org/links.html... maybe your state has something similar?

Or You might still be able to tap into the homeschooling community, even if you don't homeschool... I know here (and surrounding states of WI), there is a yahoo group of homeschooling gift and talented where they send information about field trips, books, and other resources available for parents of gifted and talented. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/wi-TAGhomeschooling/

[mariewilcox]

I know it's frustrating (I've been there with my DS, but he is now 24 so it was many years ago, plus we were military to boot so moved around a lot, etc.).

The school where DD goes now is the same way with the gifted program - not offered until 4th grade. I don't think going to the principal would get you anywhere.

With DS we just made sure that he was reading more challenging things on his own, and we tried to enrich his mind by having him learn about all kinds of topics on his own. He would devour books from the library on all kinds of subjects. His teachers also helped by giving him separate spelling and vocabulary words that were more challenging.

I can see the wisdom of not offering gifted classes until 4th grade - during the younger years there is so much more to learn than things from a book and the overall interaction with adults and other children and becoming responsible and learning to be organized and learning how to study is a primary focus.

I don't feel that DS suffered in any way from not having gifted classes until he was older - he had an inquisitive mind and we nourished that at home. We had thought about having him skip a grade (at the start of 3rd, so he would have gone to 4th that year), but we decided against it because even though he seemed mature enough we really didn't want to put him ahead of the kids he had been with up to that point.

I know it's hard and you feel like she is probably bored all the time, and she might be to a certain extent, but at this young age hopefully she still enjoys just being a kid and being around the other kids. I know DS would come home saying he already knew everything but he did enjoy going to school just the same.

[Kara]

Would you consider a blend of homeschooling/public school? K12 has programs in most states that are technically tuition-free online public schools with all curriculum provided - they get guidance from teachers but the parents provide assistance ... they can work at their own pace which would be ideal for many learners.

[ayaandjudah]

Kara, that sounds wonderful. We are in ny, do they have one here? Can you provide a link?

[ayaandjudah]

Marie,

I also wouldn't have aj issue waiting until 4th for a gifted program. Our issue is that she's bored in class and it's affecting her behavior. We are working to correct those behaviors.

[YepBrook]

Well, if homeschooling is not an option, and if the school will definitely not offer you anything until 4th grade, I agree with Marie's advice to challenge her at home.

This book: Five in a Row (I purchased on Amazon) is something many homeschooling families use, but I also know of many non-homeschoolers who use it to add to their child's learning and hunger for knowledge. It's fun to do, too. You read the book listed 5 days in a row, then the author has supplied many activities or discussions revolving around the subject of the book. Each piece of literature is enhanced by studies on math, history, vocabulary, art, etc.

This is not something I do weekly, but the books we've "rowed" are now some of my son's favorites because he knows so much about the subject matter and understands the story on a whole new level.

[mariewilcox]

Oh Alisa! I see your problem then DS didn't have that problem thankfully. He was bored but didn't care - LOL.

If we had had the options of some of the programs mentioned above we probably would have combined them too, but we're talking a long time ago and homeschooling in any form was pretty much unheard of and certainly was way off the mainstream. I hope you find the path that works for you and Addison!

[Darcy Baldwin]

I think, at some point, you'll just have to be an advocate of your daughter and get together with her teacher to come up with a plan for her to have some other challenging work for her when she's done and bored. Perhaps working with the teacher, you can then provide her packets of additional learning material she can pick up when she's done and waiting (don't put that extra burden on the teacher when she's already overloaded..be proactive and it will help get the teacher on board).

Also - afterschooling can be a great way to add interest to her day - like Marie did with her son.

[HeatherKS]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

I think, at some point, you'll just have to be an advocate of your daughter and get together with her teacher to come up with a plan for her to have some other challenging work for her when she's done and bored. Perhaps working with the teacher, you can then provide her packets of additional learning material she can pick up when she's done and waiting (don't put that extra burden on the teacher when she's already overloaded..be proactive and it will help get the teacher on board).

Yes, this. Exactly. I would think the teacher would be on board with this if the behavior issues are causing problems in the classroom. My 1st grade dd is going to start being pulled out for gifted instruction after the first of the year. They don't generally start in our schools until 3rd grade, but there are three 1st graders that need more challenges than they are getting in the regular classroom so they are changing things up for them. I'm thrilled with this but I completely understand your frustration with not having the option for additional services until 4th grade.

[ayaandjudah]

I just feel that if she needed remedial services she would receive them. There are about 6 kids in her class who are pulled out for remedial services, why not also pull out the higher children?

I will most definitely look into the afterschooling links that people left here. Please keep them coming. This is all new to me and I know nothing about homeschooling.

She's recently begun to do word puzzles with my father and I'm encouraging that as much as possible.

Originally Posted by HeatherKS

Yes, this. Exactly. I would think the teacher would be on board with this if the behavior issues are causing problems in the classroom. My 1st grade dd is going to start being pulled out for gifted instruction after the first of the year. They don't generally start in our schools until 3rd grade, but there are three 1st graders that need more challenges than they are getting in the regular classroom so they are changing things up for them. I'm thrilled with this but I completely understand your frustration with not having the option for additional services until 4th grade.

[taracotta7]

Alisa, I would totally do what Darcy mentioned. I would also visit with the teacher about maybe put her in a "mentor" position? It would give her something to be proud of and would maybe take out some of those behavior issues because she will be kept busy AND be building her self confidence at the same time. Maybe being a "reading buddy" to some of those class mates that are struggling or maybe even go into a K class to read to them for their book carpet time.......something along those lines. Or maybe be a library aide? Help the librarian re-self the books or check them in? I have seen our school do things like that for the gifted students and it has really helped. Just another idea to go to the teacher with.

[Kara]

K12 runs both public and private programs around the country - most states seem to have a public virtual academy of some sort that is run by K12. They don't seem to have this option in NY. I also looked at another virtual academy that we have in MN - Connections Academy - and they aren't available in NY either. Shoot! I really think this would have been a good option for you.

[LeeAndra]

Yes, it can be especially frustrating advocating for gifted children as many people in the education field think that since they're 'extra smart,' why can't they just wait around for services to kick in and/or sit still and be quiet and be good and that somehow gifted children don't need or deserve (as much) intervention as other special needs children do.

I definitely ditto the suggestions for afterschooling. Why not pick up a unit study on a subject that interests her? Unit studies are usually centered on a theme, but encompass reading, math, history, etc. Since she's so young, she could take as long as she wanted/needed with each subject, and it would hopefully keep her interest and keep her better behaved if she's no longer bored all the time. Is there any kind of club she could join? If you were able to get her to join something like Girl Scouts, you could then supplement whatever activities she was participating in academically i.e. if they go on a nature hike, you could take her to the library, have her check out some books on butterflies (or whatever kind of animal she prefers), and have her then write a story/draw a poster/create a butterfly out of art materials so she's being challenged some part of the day even if it's not at school.

HTH! Good luck!

[Megan Turnidge]

My niece was very advanced and bored at school, so my SIL home schools her now. I don't think going to the principal asking for more services that aren;t currently offered will accomplish much. I mean, education budgets are already crap. I like Darcy's suggestion of providing extra work for her in class and also getting her involved with more curriculum at home after school since homeschooling isn't an option for you.

[Angie4b1g]

My son is in first grade and absolutely can't sit through any teacher lectures of any kind. I finally got them to agree to let me send a workbook in for him to work in while she talks. I mean, he's not listening to her anyway so why not let him do something constructive rather than getting bored and then in trouble.

[nanienamou]

I was like that at school. Bored, always finished before everyone, and I would talk and bother in class, until the teacher figured it out and gave us (we were 2-3 in the class) extra worksheets or books to read. Some teachers also had some mentor programs for the most advanced - we would help others.

I would ask the teacher if you can sen some extra work for her or a book so that she does not bother others and always have some work/reading available at home for her too. My two older sons are not gifted, but my oldest has ADD and he loves activity books (for his school year), sudoku and word puzzles. He can sit at the table with these for long periods.

[origami]

Originally Posted by ayaandjudah

I just feel that if she needed remedial services she would receive them. There are about 6 kids in her class who are pulled out for remedial services, why not also pull out the higher children?

The families of children who need remedial or resource services often have to fight very, very hard to get those services. School budgets are terrible these days and a lot of school boards and principals really try to cut corners wherever they can!

Also, keep in mind that some of those kids who are getting resource services for their disabilities may also be very, very bright too. Some kids are 2e or twice exceptional. I try not to think in terms of lower or higher functioning, but different. What you're looking for is a teacher and school that can provide differentiated instruction. Kids can learn the same content, but be at different levels, if they are getting differentiated instruction.

I'd suggest looking out in the community to see what's out there. Check our your local museums, zoos, drama theaters, etc., to see what kinds of programs that they have for kids. While these might not necessarily be specifically aimed at gifted kids, you'll find some great opportunities for enrichment.

You don't necessarily want to give your child extra work, but to enrich what she is already doing.

[SmallMoments]

I haven't read any of the other responses, so sorry if I repeat anything.

I would first talk to the teacher and ask her to be doing things to enrich your daughter. That's her job. I teach 2nd grade and I wouldn't think twice about a parent asking me that... and, honestly, I would hope no parent would have to ask me that... I would hope I knew that from the get-go and would do something about it w/o being asked!

If the teacher says she can't do anything, (which I totally don't agree with), I would THEN go to the principal to see what can be done. It is absolutely the school's responsibility to teach to your child.

Are there any after-school clubs she can get involved with? We have a Chess Club that I've enrolled Luke in. Also, check your local library.

[julifish]

I think it would be helpful over the Winter Break to research what your school district and state have to offer for students with different abilities. Getting an IEP for ADD may be as simple as talking to your pediatrictian. It doesn't require you to medicate your child, she might just need to be diagnosed whichi is pretty simple really.

Knowing what your rights are in the school will help you advocate for what your daughter should be able to get. If the district says no gifted until 4th grade you may be stuck with working out something specific with the school, but if it's just the school not having resources to provide gifted until 4th grade then you might have some bargaining power with the principal.

I'd personally talk with the Vice Principal and ask what the school is able to offer in this type of situation and tell them you've talked to the teacher but want to understand the school's perspective on it (then you don't look like a mom snitching on a teacher, which teachers hate!). You might be surprised with the school is willing to help you with. I would think they would want bright students to continue to progress. Maybe ask if she could read with some older kids or something fun for her along with everyone else's workbook ideas.

[rach3975]

I agree with what people have said about coming up with a list of suggestions (including you providing extra in-school work) and going to the teacher with it.

I'd also suggest trying to develop a relationship with the teacher and school by volunteering in the classroom periodically. Being there can help you come up with better ideas about what might work for your DD within that class's routines, and sometimes having those connections with the school staff makes them more receptive when you need to advocate for your child.

[ayaandjudah]

These are some great ideas and suggestions, thanks!!!!!