My cat is driving me crazy

[krystalhartley]

I don't want to share on Facebook because I don't want to contribute to my daughter's homesickness (she just finished 2 weeks away at college), but my cat misses her a lot. And she won't leave me in peace. She talks ALL. FREAKING. DAY and NIGHT. She want's to be in whichever room I may be, which is contributing nicely to stuffed up noses for sleeping.

I don't think she's a senseless cat, but she doesn't seem to grasp the concept that she should look at the screen to see Avery (when we've tried facetime or Skype). Sigh.

We were concerned about her when Avery left...we were careful to monitor her eating/drinking/behavior since we've had the terrible experience of losing a cat to kidney failure when they didn't handle separation well. We considered getting her a kitten as a distraction (she's really easy-tempered...never hisses or anything and doesn't seem territorial). She's 7, and we adopted her as a 4 month old (and she's always been Avery's sidekick). We would just hate for her to associate the new kitten with Avery's absence in a negative way.

Any thoughts or suggestions?

[Misty Cato]

Ummm ... get Avery an apartment that accepts cats?

Not helpful, I know.

[krystalhartley]

ROFL

[Sherri Tierney]

I wish I had some suggestions for you. I have no experience with cats and separation anxiety. Ours probably wouldn't notice if one of us were missing for a few weeks. They would only become concerned if they didn't get fed. Our dogs on the other hand do get really upset when we are away. They have each other and that helps a lot, but when we get back they don't leave our side for weeks. Both dogs have chosen me as their 'person' and I don't know how they would behave if I were suddenly not around. The cats each have their own kid but the kids aren't typically gone for more than a few days at a time.

[KristinCB]

LOL My thought was the same as misty's

ummm.. I say go ahead and get a kitten

[MamaBee]

Does it help if the cat had something of your daughter's that has her "smell" on it? I'm not a "cat" person, so I don't know if that would work or not... a kitten is a good idea - distraction, works on kids... haha...

on the side - i have a talking non-stop kid that follows me around the house... so I get the bit about being driven crazy... if that helps... haha

[nun69]

I say get a new kitty......we have a cat that is just like that (Sam is 20) and her cat is 10 and he is TOTALLY Hers...whenever she is gone for more than a day or 2 he becomes this pitiful little cat that always is rubbing against and wanting to be petted....when she is home, he could care less about the rest of us LOL! But lately she has been locking him out of her room and now even when her door is opne, he doesn't even go in there I think he might be a little heratbroken

[catgoddess]

Since she is so easy going, a new playmate may be just what she needs. That's a long-term solution, though. If you don't want another cat long-term, I think her behavior will pass after a month or two. Cats like structure and don't handle changes to their day very well.

One of my cats (who passed years ago due to lifelong illness) became very attached to my ex-husband. We were married 4 years and I had the cat for 6 years before we were married. When we divorced, I retained custody of the cats. That particular cat made my life hell for a few months. Hell. The other kitty couldn't stand him and seemed quite happy he was out of her life. hehe

I moved into a 2-bedroom house and used the spare room as storage since it was temporary. I also put the kitty box in there so they had privacy. I came home from work one day and that cat had pooed and then decided it would put its paw in the poo and smear it all over the walls and boxes in that room. He would attack me at night when I was sleeping and climb on my face and jump up and down. No joke. He calmed down to his normal easy going self after a couple months, but he really gave me a rough time for awhile.

[krystalhartley]

Ohmygosh, Jenn. I had to read that to my husband. I would have lost it.

I'm wondering if the "time" thing will work in our case because Avery will be coming home on some weekends and holidays/breaks. We are concerned that just as Alli (the cat) is adjusting, she'll reset with a visit from Avery and we'll have to go through it all again.

[carrie1977]

Poor kitty....

And Jenn...holy cow!

[catgoddess]

Oh, I lost it. Believe me. I sat in that poo covered room for at least an hour and cried and cried.

Your kitty might adjust to the new routine of your daughter coming to visit on the weekends. Personally, I would give it a few weeks to see if she calms down. Change is hard for us all. Even our furry friends. It can't be easy on you guys since you're adjusting, too.

xoxo

[staciahall]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I guess I've been lucky with our cats. My oldest one (17) loves my daughter but has been fine since she moved out. He has become a little clingy to me (but I can live with that because I'm not going anywhere ; ). The youngest one was supposed to be my son's cat but sleeps with me. I've made it clear when he moves out for college she will be staying with me (and he was okay with that). When my daughter comes home for visits, the littlest one will sleep with her and the oldest one will spend lots of time with her but they are okay with her leaving again. Of course it has been over 4 years for them to get used to it.

I say give it some time. he'll be okay. On another note, I'm all for a two cat household. I think they need companionship and realistically my dog is not a playmate for them.

[maryinaz]

I had a cat years and years ago. When I moved into my first house (alone, I was not married yet and I had had it built so everything was brand new), the cat pooped every day while I was gone to work in the one room I didn't have any furniture - the dining room. Nothing I tried could get her to stop so I finally had to put her in the garage every day, all day long. She never did adjust to that house and I ended up having to give her away. It just changed her whole personality.

Hopefully your cat will adjust. We can't get our dog to look at facetime either. I'd wait it out until your daughter comes home for a visit and she how she does when your daughter leaves again. If it starts all over, I'd get another kitten, since you can't give away your daughter's pet.

[YepBrook]

I know nothing about cats, but I am good with Google... I found this: http://www.catbehaviorassociates.com...xiety-in-cats/

[jk703]

I think (unfortunately) time is the answer. While the weekends might throw her off a bit... the cat will adjust. In time, she will have a new sidekick (um, you - good or bad). A more stationary and constant figure in her life... if that makes sense!

Does music help animals like it does for people? Just an odd question/thought that popped in my head. What about a constant slideshow on the computer of Avery? A T-shirt that smells of her where she likes to lay and sleep? How about a recorder with Avery "chatting" with the cat near her when she seems most upset?

Good luck!

[ricslady]

We had a problem with my cat when my hubby and I separated for a few months. I had originally left her with my hubby because I moved into an apartment. Soon after she started urinating on the sofa and then his bed. Once she actually did it while he was in the bed. Needless to say I had to make arrangements for her to stay with me. She was fine with me and always used her litter box. However, when I moved back back home she started using the sofa again. We finally put a gate up to that room and eventually had to get rid of the furniture in there because I couldn't get the smell out. Even though it's been almost 5 years I still don't allow her in that room.

About 8 months after I moved back in we got a kitten so she would have a playmate. They never really bonded. They get along but they don't do stuff together.

This probably doesn't help. I really don't have any advice. Maybe you could talk to your vet. They might have some suggestions. I'm sorry you are having problems with your kitty.

[kim21673]

When our oldest son went away to college (living with my parents since it was closer to the college), our cat started peeing on everything! She was SO mad that he was gone. We shipped her off to my parent's house to make sure it was her. She is happily living there now....with our oldest son!!

Good luck!!!!

[krystalhartley]

Avery is coming home to visit this weekend. I'm curious to see what happens. She's already started to mellow out a bit.

[catgoddess]

I'm glad kitty is mellowing. Here's hoping she's adjusting to her new schedule and the visit goes well during and after. xoxo

[xboxmom]

heheh get a small cat sweater and let your daughter sleep with it for a while til her smell gets on it and then put it on the new kitten! LOL