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iJenny · #1 10-23-2009, 01:13 PM

Ok, so another thread on another board got me thinking...

In our house, we celebrate all the major holidays. Christmas, Easter, Halloween, etc. And several of those holidays come with mythical ambassadors like Santa, Easter Bunny, even the Tooth Fairy. We don't make a HUGE deal out of these characters, but we do talk about them as in "Oh, look what the Easter Bunny brought you!" or, "Santa is coming tonight!!".

So, our oldest son is 7 1/2. He's getting near that age when they figure it all out and I'm just wondering how you all approached it. First, I don't think its going to be a huge deal when he finds out. Like I said, we're pretty chill in our house. We don't make a huge deal out of these characters. And we don't plan on trying to convince him they're real once he starts to figure it all out.

So, what did you do? What have you seen done? What was done for you?

Just curious, what with the holidays fast approaching and all.

P.S. Wanted to add, that he's probably starting to figure it out already. We openly talk about what we're putting in their stockings, etc. at Christmas. But then, at Christmas, the kids know that its Santa that fills the stockings. So, he's probably going to put 2 & 2 together soon.

jessica31876 · #2 10-23-2009, 01:22 PM

Honestly I do not think we really did anything when they figured it out and they did not really care much either. Like they were not all upset crying or anything that I remember. Of course my kids are 18,16 and 12 so it could easily be 6 years ago at least that they figured it out. More so for the older two...especially since they had older cousins who "helped" them figure out it was not real. They knew about the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy and those kinda things but didnt really believe in them. I think Santa was the only one they believed in.

Robin Carlton · #3 10-23-2009, 01:29 PM

Well Katie found out last year when she was 8 and she was devastated. We were stupid and left rolls of wrapping paper in the trunk of Rocky's car (we always wrap "santa" presents in special paper that they haven't seen us buy) and she caught a glimpse of it when we went to the golfing range as a family and Rocky got his clubs out of the trunk.

She didn't say anything in front of the other kids, but as we were walking back into the house when we got back home, I could tell something was wrong and I knew she had seen the paper, so I asked her if everything was ok. While she didnt want to talk about it, she finally admitted that she saw the paper and that means that Santa isnt real and that that means the easter bunny isnt real and that means the tooth fairy isnt real and everything is a lie! (drama queen anyone?)

Sooooo... we had the "making Christmas and other events magical, is one of THE BEST things about being a mom and dad" talk and we told her that now she was part of helping us make that magic for her little brother and sister. There were lots of tears, but we tried to spin it to how much fun it will be now that she is in on the secret and ever since, she has really been great about helping us keep things magical around here - like the one night the tooth fairy forgot to pay Emily for her lost tooth and Katie helped us explain it away as the Tooth Fairy probably having a day off to be with her kids and that she was suuuuure she would come tonight

so everything turned out ok LOL!

I figured it out on my own as a kid and I absolutely LOVED knowing it was my mom buying things for me instead of Santa, but then every year was a mission to find out what I was getting, so that was a new adventure all its own.

You'll have to keep us posted on how things go this year Jenny!

R

pewtertm · #4 10-23-2009, 01:51 PM

I'm not a big fan of the Easter bunny, and I really don't want Rachel to think that's what Easter is about. As far as the Tooth Fairy goes, we haven't gotten there yet, but to me that was never any big deal as a kid.

Santa...it's an either or thing for me. I won't go out of the way for her to 'believe' in something that isn't real...but I won't flat-out tell her either (I don't think I will anyway!) But when she asks, I will tell her the truth. I have read Santa, Are You For Real? with some of my students, and I will most likely read it with Rachel also. It tells the story of Saint Nicholas in a young child-friendly fashion.

MamaBee · #5 10-23-2009, 02:03 PM

I never really believe in Santa as a child... my dad was against any Santas in the house... but my mom tired to make it all mysterious by always forgetting something in the house before we left for church so the presents were under the tree when we got back... so when I found out, it wasn't a big deal.

So now as a parent, I'm not big on Santa with my own child... if anything Santa is Jesus's helper since it's his birthday and shouldn't be made to have to plan is own party... ha, ha. Same with Easter... my mom was (is still) huge into egg hunts... but Mom wants all the credit for hidding the eggs... LOL!

iJenny · #6 10-23-2009, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Robin Carlton

Sooooo... we had the "making Christmas and other events magical, is one of THE BEST things about being a mom and dad" talk and we told her that now she was part of helping us make that magic for her little brother and sister.

Ooh, I love that! Thats exactly what I want to convey to Cameron. Thanks for putting the words in my mouth, Robin!

Luckily, Cam is pretty chill about this kind of stuff so HOPEFULLY he won't get too upset. Plus, he'll love the idea of helping us with his little brother.

Thanks for all the insight, girls!!

KayM · #7 10-23-2009, 03:20 PM

Last Christmas, my then eight year old boy was in his bed crying one night right before Christmas. I went in to see what the matter was, and he was all worried that Santa wasn't going to love him or bring him any toys because of something he had done. I was so disturbed that this was causing him to feel this way that I went ahead and told him the truth. He was devastated like Katie was, and it took him a while to get over it. He told me he wished I hadn't told him, but like Robin we made him feel like he was special because he knew a secret that little sister didn't know and he could help us play the game for her. He got over it and he acts just like he's real now! He talks about him just like he's coming and watching and all that stuff like before. I felt really bad after I told him and spoiled the fun, but looking back now I know it was exactly the right thing to do at the time.

Good luck with it!

iJenny · #8 10-23-2009, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KayM

Last Christmas, my then eight year old boy was in his bed crying one night right before Christmas. I went in to see what the matter was, and he was all worried that Santa wasn't going to love him or bring him any toys because of something he had done. I was so disturbed that this was causing him to feel this way that I went ahead and told him the truth. He was devastated like Katie was, and it took him a while to get over it. He told me he wished I hadn't told him, but like Robin we made him feel like he was special because he knew a secret that little sister didn't know and he could help us play the game for her. He got over it and he acts just like he's real now! He talks about him just like he's coming and watching and all that stuff like before. I felt really bad after I told him and spoiled the fun, but looking back now I know it was exactly the right thing to do at the time.

Good luck with it!

aww, that story made me tear up, Kay! But I think you handled it perfectly. Now I'm all nervous that Cameron is going to be super-sad. Why, oh why, can't they be little forever!?!?

Stacey42 · #9 10-23-2009, 04:29 PM

We don't do the easter Bunny because we don't celebrate Easter. The tooth fairy gets some mild play but the tooth fairy is really busy and sometimes the money goes on backorder and it takes a few days to deliver it.

Santa has never been stressed but has always been there. DS1 was so so about it until a couple years ago in PreK when all the other kids talked it up. He just turned 7 & his brother is 6 . I doubt I'll get many more years of it, so we're really playing it up this year since they are both into it.

Emmy · #10 10-23-2009, 05:56 PM

These holiday ambassadors always trip me up LOL! Regarding Santa....we don't make a huge deal of Santa but the kids believe in Santa. Actually my 9yo still believes.....I keep thinking he's going to figure it out

I'm considering telling him this year myself cause I just don't think he's going to get there on his own.

Easter bunny and Tooth fairy - how sad is this? When I was growing up my parents never did these - so I didn't do them with my kids- I had NO IDEA for years that people actually did them the same way you do Santa. So yeah, no issue I guess.

Robin - great explanation on making Christmas magical.

digideb · #11 10-23-2009, 06:03 PM

We won't do Santa or the Easter bunny. We want the holidays to celebrated for what the are all about...Jesus! Plus, I want my kids to know who their gifts come from so that they can be thankful towards that person for the gift! I do want them to know the real story of St. Nicholas & where the idea of Santa came from. Thanks for the link to that book Stacy, I will definitely be checking it out!
Growing up we never believed in any of them either though.

pewtertm · #12 10-23-2009, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by digideb

We won't do Santa or the Easter bunny. We want the holidays to celebrated for what the are all about...Jesus! Plus, I want my kids to know who their gifts come from so that they can be thankful towards that person for the gift! I do want them to know the real story of St. Nicholas & where the idea of Santa came from. Thanks for the link to that book Stacy, I will definitely be checking it out!
Growing up we never believed in any of them either though.

You're very welcome! There's also a book in that series about Halloween, and there might be more, but it's been too long for me to recall.

newfiemountiewife · #13 10-23-2009, 07:58 PM

We do all the holidays too, but like you, it's not a huge deal.

FWIW, Benjamin is 9, and super smart. If he has Santa figured out, he hasn't said anything. I do the same as Robin, we do different paper, I have a ton of "character" paper that Santa brings things in, we do plain Wal Mart paper LOL. I don't think either of them would be devestated if they figure it out on their own, however, if Benjamin figures it out and then blabs to the other two, I'm sure the other two will freak out. So I hope that doesn't happen.

I also make up things like "Santa buys some things at Wal Mart that are hard to make, like Wiis" LOL.

Darcy Baldwin · #14 10-23-2009, 08:14 PM

Jenny - we finally told our 9yo this year. He's the kind of child that would believe til he's 14, even though we don't celebrate the Easter Bunny at all, Santa is a very minor figure in our Christmas celebrations, and the Tooth Fairy is always forgetful. But we did finally say it's time. He took it hard - oh so hard. Especially when he said...well, Santa may not be real, and leprechauns may not be real, but thankfully the Tooth Fairy is real! ...and we had to burst that bubble, too.

We honestly thought leprechauns were going to be the hardest for him since we make a HUGE deal out of them every year. But we did like Robin - he is now a participant on the adult side of the fun and takes pride in keeping the story alive for his little brother, who will be quick to figure it all out compared to his big brother.

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