spinoff of kcb's "significant other" thread- how long?

[color of my heart]

i saw a bunch of you ladies saying things like "we were engaged/married a few months later" and all that. a few years ago, i'd have thought "INSANITY! how can you know someone well enough to marry them that quick?" but like, i met the boy online last summer, but we've only been together as a couple for a few months, and we've never met in person (he's coming here in may, i can't wait, time needs to speed up). i swear, if skype didn't exist, we'd have $50000 phone bills. anyway. like, the marriage topic has come up, and it comes up a lot. and i can totally see myself marrying him. and seeing that there were a bunch of you who had super short relationships before getting engaged/married makes me feel a bit better about it.

married girls: how long did you "date" your SO? was it quick? was it a long relationship? was it the whole "when you know, you know"?

[Kara]

We dated 5 years, but we met when we were 17 and in college, and we wanted to finish both college and grad school, before getting married.

[Paula]

We had our first date on March 18th, got engaged on April 17, and married August 19. That was 24 years ago.

[KateD]

I met him in January, 1997, but just as aquantences and didn't see him again in May. We met again at a concert on a Friday night, talked about getting married a few days later, and were engaged one week after our "first date". We were married five weeks after that and will celebrate our 15th anniversary this year. The scariest thing about it is that I wasn't scared. I don't know if that makes sense, but that's what I felt. I probably wouldn't have jumped in so quickly except that he had been friends with one of my friends for years so I knew that he was a good person.
We've had our ups and downs, but have a very solid marriage and we never regretted getting married so quickly.

[NeverendingJen]

We met in August 04, got engaged september 05, married september 06. BUT! We saw each other 4 times in August of 04, saw each other again for two weeks in May 05, a month in Aug/September 05, 3 weeks in May 06, and only 10 days before our wedding in August 06. All the rest of the time was long distance(Me in Utah/Montana, he in Korea and Kuwait) We would have been married sooner if possible.

[Leah]

The first time I laid eyes on DH, I knew immediately that he would be the one. It was something I could not describe, I just knew. We started seeing each other a few months later and it was about 2 years after that, that we got engaged and another year later, we were married. 12 years this year....

[jessica31876]

I met my husband first weekend of March 1991 and moved in with him in April 1991 and got married may 10th 1991. I was very young (15) but just had this feeling he was who I wanted to be with forever. We had planned on getting marrried when I turned 18 but then I found out I was pregnant and there were issues in my life where the state was threatening to put me back in foster care (Id only been back living with my mom for like 10 months so I was still technically a ward of the state). So my mom agreed to me getting married. We went before a judge to have it approved. We were together until November 1996. Long story. I left and was gone for just under a year when I got pregnant with my youngest son and had him two months early July 28th 1997 (his dad has never been involved in his life so my husband considers him his son as well). My husband and I got back together when my son was right about a month old and have been together since then. Lots of ups and downs. Mostly both of us needing to mature honestly. But anyhow I guess that is alot of info for yes it is totally worth it and when you know you know.

[Jennilyn]

I met him on April 13th 1996, started dating May 1st, moved in together August 3rd 1996 and got engaged Christmas Day 1997. Got married September 9th, 2000. So we moved in together pretty quickly, but getting to the married stage took a while.

[nesser1981]

We dated for 3 years. During that a year & a half we lived together.

We met October 2000, Started dating February 2001, Moved in together August 2002, Engaged, April 2003, Married April 2004.

[Nutmeg]

We dated for 4.5 years. I spent a semester in Italy several months after meeting him, and that's when I knew, but he wanted to finish college and find a job before getting engaged. We were engaged for just over a year, and we've been married for a year and a half.

[jessica31876]

oh and for us it was 21 years this march because neither of us really count the time we were split up as a real breakup. I guess if you did then it would be 15 years at the end of August and 5 1/2 years before we split up

[Traci Reed]

Started dating March 7th 2003, had a baby May 5th 2004, married October 23rd, 2004.

[mariewilcox]

My story is different - I met my DH when I was in Kindergarten and he was in 1st grade. We were always good friends (I was the tomboy/one of the boys type girl). His family actually moved into my immediate neighborhood a couple years later.

We were always pals through Jr. High but when I was in 7th grade things started to shift a bit, and when I had to dress up for a formal event halfway through the year he just about flipped because he had never seen me as a "girl."

By the time I got to high school everyone pretty much knew that was it for us. After the first real kiss when I was a freshman we knew. He graduated a year before me and joined the Marines and then when I graduated I enrolled in college where he was stationed for 2 years (Virginia). He got sent to San Diego after 2 years and I stayed and finished college. In 1984 we got married and were married for 19 years when he was killed in Afghanistan.

He was it for me and always was - I've had a couple first dates in the past few years but haven't really had any interest. My life is busy with our daughter, son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter. Maybe someday but for now I'm happy

[Mye]

Ohh another cute thread!

We met in the year 1996 as enemies - yeah we sure did fight a lot whenever we get to see each other lol. We started dating in March 1997, got engaged January 2004 (yeah, 7 years of dating blah!) and then got married finally on December 2004. Phew! That speed up things a bit.

I have to be honest, he doesn't have plans of getting married in 2004 and I had to ask if he has plans of marrying me (he said yes but not sure when). And so, I gave my ultimatum, if you're not gonna marry me sooner, I'm wasting my time with you lmao! And so he finally said it. bwahaha!!! Success!

[YepBrook]

I knew when I met him that he was marriage material!!! We waited 4 years to get married because I was too young (we started dating when I was 18). During that time I lived with my parents (we never moved in with each other) and he found a better job. I don't regret the time we dated before tying the knot. I DO regret waiting another 4 years to have kids.

[maryinaz]

DH and I met after we had both finished college (and he law school) and had established adult lives on our own. But it STILL took us 4 years of dating to tie the knot. After our 3rd date, I remember saying to myself "I'm going to marry that guy."

That was almost 26 years ago. We had our first child by the time we had been married 2 years. He'll be TWENTY next week!

[ripal]

As I mentioned in last thread, mine was arrange marriage, so I knew I had to make quick decision mostly based on one meeting. Dh was the 5th guy I met. But I knew within first 2-3 minutes that he was it. Mentally, I was done with my search process and didn't even bother asking his name! When my dad and/or family asked me which one I wanted to get married, I would refer to him as the 'last one we saw'. I f I had asked, I would've been able to see him( or others) again to finalize my choice, but I just knew that I had made my choice and second meeting wasn't going to change my mind one way or the other. I didn't see him again until my family went to his home as official acceptance.

Later, I was embarrassed about not knowing his name, I made one up for my sister, because she kept bugging about his name. 4 previous guys happened to have their name start with 'S', so I came up with something with 'S'. LOL

After I had said yes to his family, I was spending time at my friend's home in another town. He(with his friend) came to visit me not knowing where my friend lived. He went around in town asking about my friend describing what she looked like. I was laying down on the swing when he showed up with his friend totally unexpected!!! Turned out his friend's name was what I had made up for him! LOL

Anyway, I was married to him 20 days later!

[Leila]

Andrew and I met online on October 21, 2001. I was a mod in a chat room and part of my job was to check profiles for 'underagers'. His profile claimed his favorite movie was Weird Science. I sent him a private chat message asking about it; we spent the next five hours just chatting. I knew, unequivocally knew, that I'd marry him. I didn't even know what he looked like!! We talked on the phone for the first time three weeks later--our first conversation only ended because his cell phone battery died. Three weeks after that, I flew down to Texas to meet him. I spent two amazing weeks with him, then flew home to pack. I moved in on December 27, we married on March 22, 2002.

Full disclosure--we moved our wedding up by a year(ish) so I could have health insurance. I have a medical condition that flared, and while he was willing to pay the self-pay bills, we both knew it would be less expensive to marry and add me to his insurance.

Oh yeah--I proposed to him.

[Shawna]

We met in high school in 1993 when we had several classes together, I was 15 and a sophomore and he was 17 and a senior. We were good friends for a few months before he asked me out January 4, 1994 and we've been together pretty much ever since! We both knew right from the start that we were meant to be together. Our families really wanted us to finish college before we got married so we waited until right before my senior year of college to get engaged in August 1999. So I spent most of my senior year working almost full-time, going to school full-time and planning our wedding, it was a crazy time for sure! I graduated in May 2000 and we got married August 4, 2000 and by that time we'd been together about 6.5 years.

We'll celebrate our 12th anniversary in August and we've been together for 18+ years now, sometimes it blows my mind knowing we've been together for over half my life! We've been through some pretty rough times together but we've always made it through and I can't imagine my life without him or our kids. I'm just so thankful for every day with him, he was born with a heart defect and had to have surgery to repair it when he was 18 and there were some major complications during surgery and we almost lost him. Even after all this time it's still so scary for me to think about that time...

[Lyd]

Well - I kinda said it in the other thread. But, we met in January 2000. I'm not exactly sure what the date was. I'm a little fuzzy on when our first date was. That's bad, huh? But, it was either February 19th or February 26th, 2000. On March 17, 2000, we decided to get married. It wasn't an official proposal, but we talked about it, and it was pretty much a done deal. On April 21, 2000, DH did a "down on one knee" proposal with the ring. We were married on August 10, 2000. Yep--it was a very fast courtship, and not a very long engagement. I NEVER thought that it would happen to me like that, but it really was one of those things where "when you know, you know." And, we both knew.

We'll celebrate 12 years of married life in August. It has not all been bliss, but it has all been worth it.

[rach3975]

We started dating when I was 19 and he was 21, so we dated for 4 years before we got married. We never lived together because my parents have strong feelings about unmarried couples living together. We got engaged a few months after I graduated from college and he from grad school, and got married about 9 months later, in June 1998. We waited 5 years to have kids after that. We talked a lot about marriage throughout our relationship, but neither of us knew from the beginning that the other was the one.

[kscwgirl]

We started dating in early may of 1999.. mothers day weekend. We'd known each other for several years prior. Engaged in July 1999 and married September 9, 2000.

[Darcy Baldwin]

We DID have those $5,000 phone bills and AOL bills - we met on AOL before the flat rates, so our bills were HUGE!!! The minute we got married, AOL went flat rate - go figure LOL

We met in July online....declared our love in Dec, met over NYE (when he proposed), spent about 21 days in each other's company over the course of the next few months, and were married the next August..the quickest we could get it done.

[taracotta7]

Met Steve in January 1997.......couldn't stand him. Like at all. LOL Then a mutual friend set us up in March of 1997 KNOWING that we didn't like it other! Steve wasn't looking for a relationship and I just got out of one. It wasn't on our radar at all. That night changed it. We both asked each other a lot of hard questions because we didn't want to waste each other's time. That night I gave him a peck on the lips and he asked me out the next night. Two week's in I KNEW I was not going to ever be without him. Ever. Engaged in May 1997. I would of married him right then but my parent's were freaking out to say the very least. My dad told me if we were engaged for a minimum of a year that he would pay for the wedding (he was secretly hoping I would change my mind! LOL). SO, we waited a year and got married June 20, 1998. It will be 14 years this June.

[nikkiARNGwife]

We dated for 9 months before he proposed. We got married 6 months later. I pretty much knew by about 3 weeks into dating him that he was the one though. I was 25 when we met and he was 27..we'd both done the dating thing..and by that time knew what we wanted and what we didn't. He tells me now he knew I was "the one" after our 2nd date...I don't know if I believe him though lol

We met in Oct. 2000, got engaged in July 2001 and were married in December 2001. 10 years, 2 children 3 deployments later he's still my best friend in this world.

[ripal]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

We DID have those $5,000 phone bills and AOL bills - we met on AOL before the flat rates, so our bills were HUGE!!! The minute we got married, AOL went flat rate - go figure LOL

I remember paying $2/minute too! I was in US and he was still in India till I get his paperwork done. So, first minute of call was $4 and rest of the minutes for $2-3 per minute!!! I remember raking up our phone bills and on top of that, I had borrowed my friend's phone card so that my dad doesn't end up having heart attack from huge phone bills! Now, it's 5 CENTS per minute!!!! Or free if you skype or use magic jack!

[breakingbrie]

I went through the whole story in the other thread but here's the condensed version... lol.
We met in October 1999, started dating in December 2003. I got my engagement ring earlyish 2004, don't remember exactly when, then we just never got around to setting a date... Finally in September 2007 we finally decided to get married at the courthouse

[my2monkeys]

We met our Senior year of High School at our after school job in Mar-Apr of 1994 (we went to different high schools). He left for boot camp in Aug 1994. In Apr 1995 I flew out to California to visit and we got engaged. We set our wedding date for over a year later but had to move it way up to Aug 1995 when we found out we were expecting. Like many, we've had our ups and downs... and struggles with military life... but after over 16 years we are still going strong.

[kristijoy]

I met me DH at age 16! After our second date, I knew we would spend the rest of our lives together. We waited until age 19 (after my first year of college) to tie the knot. That was in 1988. We will be married 24 years this summer!! (I'm sure if we had been older we wouldn't have waited 3 years!!)

[Sarah8914]

Well you know... in the LDS (Mormon) religion, you wait to "be intimate" until you get married (which also means no living together)... so why have a long engagement and risk something happening right??

We met in August 2001. We quickly became best friends. We started "dating" in February 2002(after several dates really). We talked about marriage shortly after and were officially engaged in June and married in August. And really, it was only August because that would be between semesters and just worked out better. We knew each other longer than a lot of LDS couples actually.

But really, when we became a "couple," in my mind, I knew we were going to get married. And I am pretty sure it was the same for him too. It wouldn't have made it to that point if it wasn't going to end in marriage. Our relationship started as BEST friends so everything just felt so natural and right.... and slow enough for me to not be scared off.

Ten years in August! And we are kind of that same lovey-dovey couple we were when we were newlyweds--only with 4 kids added to the mix.

[Penny Springmann]

We met at my sister's wedding in December of 94'. I went back to college in January and we had a long distance relationship until I moved to Racine in June of 95'. We married Oct. 96'

[WendyBird]

My first husband and I kinda rushed it and it was a huge mistake. It really wasn't even that quick though - we moved in together after 9 months and were married 9 months later. But I should have listened to my family's reservations because I moved out 2 months later... I so regret getting married - even though I am a stronger person for it and learned some important lessons.

So I'm not in any hurry at all with my bf now - even though my family is totally on board lol
We've been together more than 3 years and we're moving in together next month. I really wanted to wait until our kids are out of high school - another 5 years, but the stars are aligning now so we're gonna go for it! Marriage is still a ways off though lol

It's great when it all comes together quickly, but I caution against moving fast. This is where my post divorce cynicism comes in. It's so much harder to undo it, and if he's right he'll be there next week, next month, next year.

[hollyxann]

It will be 7 years that Jay and I have been together in October.

7 years and a baby later and my finger is still naked!

We've lived together for about 6.5 of those years. So we did move in together kinda quickly.

[jacinda]

I met hubby in August 1998. We started dating about a week later, and we both knew IMMEDIATELY that we'd found "the one". Apparently he bought my engagement ring after only knowing me 3 months! With us both being military at the time, we were apart a lot that first year. He proposed to me in August 1999, the day before I deployed overseas. I got back in December 1999, and we were married 6 months later in April 2000. This month we celebrate 12 years of marriage.

[mummytothree]

I started working where he worked in Jan 1997 my first impression of him was he was a jerk!!

It was a grocery store and I worked in the Deli and the Bakery was right beside us....we was giving "lip" to the bakery guy (Jesse) and I told the girl I was working with...I don't know who he is but if I was Jesse I'd tell him to go take a long walk of a short cliff"!!!

Over then next couple of month I got to "know"him because one of my friends in the bakery liked him...in fact I tired everything to throw them together. Little did I know he liked ME!!!

We went to a few movies together with other friends (again me trying to get him together with this other girl) and then he finally told me he liked me...I invited him over to my apartment on April 19th for our first "OFFICIAL" date (I was 23. he was 20) and we were pretty much inseparable from the beginning!! He moved in with me almost immediately!

We got pregnant in August (found out Sept 5th) and were married Nov 8, 1997 and will be celebrating 15 years this coming November!!! I can't imagine my life without him....he is my rock, my hope, my light, my love, my everything!!!

[FireWolf]

We met on the internet in June or July 2001, and I hated him! Like seriously couldn't stand him at all! Then something changed a month or so later, still not sure what, but something did. We met IRL Sept. 19, 2001, the day he came to pick me up to move me to the Netherlands. There was really no dating at all and that made it a bit rough at times, but we were engaged for 9 years, been married 1 1/2 and I don't regret a single moment.

[MamaBee]

I met DH online in end of May 2002... we emailed a couple of times and then he disappeared until end of August when he emailed me just like that - someone forgot to tell me that he was going to Italy for two months on business!

First date was Sept 4, 2002... I knew by the second date, he was the one... he on the other hand, was just looking a friend... but I got to him... We were engaged in November of 2003 - my mom was just diagnosis with breast cancer (she said that a mother had to do what she had to do - get cancer to finally get the boy to propose... *sigh*)

We were married on Sept 4, 2004... the anniversary of our first date... Davie claims that was screwed by leap year... we had talked about marriage before he proposed and I said wouldn't it be cool to get married on the anniversary of our first date... him thinking that would be years away... agreed... hee hee... yeah, it was the next year!

[pewtertm]

I met my DH online in May of 2004...we talked and talked for hours on the IM and phone (he wound up giving me a cell because I didn't have one...was much easier and cheaper when we were gabbing for 6 hours a day LOL).
He drove 8 hrs to meet me in person July 2004...by this point we felt like we were best friends. Love at first sight. We saw each other about once a month, and I had a ring on my finger by the end of the summer. We got married that December.

[tanyiadeskins]

yeah, we dated for 6/7 years until we married at 23. We also had a 5 yr old and I was 7 months pregnant with a second at that time. lol My mil married her husband after 3 months, I think they got engaged after 6 weeks. They were happily married for a few decades before he passed away, too. I do not know, I think when you know... you know. Or I could be a romantic sap! lol

[Stacey42]

We dated for 4 years (may 1989 to Nov 1993). Moved in together after a year. Neither of us was in any rush to get married. I was in grad school when we got together. & he was working. Then financially it was better for both of us to remain single when DH decided to go back to school. He proposed two months before he finished up.

I'd known him for a year or so before we started dating. We were both seeing other people then

[lovely1m]

My husband and I are currently getting a divorce, but I will still answer. We started dating in December of 2000, moved in together the following June, got in engaged in July and then finally slowed down and got married 15 months later. While we are divorcing now, we are still friends and get along just fine. When he is home, we actually hang out together even without our son. I don't regret it.

[Sherri Tierney]

Originally Posted by YepBrook

I knew when I met him that he was marriage material!!! We waited 4 years to get married because I was too young (we started dating when I was 18). During that time I lived with my parents (we never moved in with each other) and he found a better job. I don't regret the time we dated before tying the knot. I DO regret waiting another 4 years to have kids.

I kinda wish we would have had kids sooner too.


We met in high school. He was a freshman, I was a sophomore. We had a computers class together. He was only on my radar because he was a punk who liked to stir up trouble in class. He managed to get himself in trouble so many times that the teacher moved him to the front of the room next to me. I later found out he was best friends with my friend's younger brother. We occasionally hung out at the same place since my friend didn't drive and her brother did but we never really talked or anything. Come my senior year we had physics class together. Our teacher was the type to have students work together a lot and a big group of us became pretty close friends. This is when Sean and I first started to get to know one another. He dated a few different girls over the course of that year as well. He also became a teenage father that year.

After I graduated I moved from Arizona to Kansas. I had gotten addresses from tons of people before I moved so that I could keep in touch. He was one of the first people I wrote to. I didn't hear back from him for over a month but when I did I got this huge 10 page letter. He was in Pennsylvania visiting his dad, his mom had forwarded the letter to him and he spent a good 2 weeks writing a little here and there as he worked with his dad, visited his sister, etc. After that we kept in touch through letters for over a year. He called me at Christmas but that was the only time we talked on the phone. We kind of lost touch though after he graduated. A year after that my friend got married (the one whose little brother Sean was best friends with) and I went home to Arizona for her wedding. Sean was at the wedding. He was engaged though and living with his fiancee. Some drunk dude kept bugging me so to get him away from me Sean asked me to dance. When we were dancing he told me he regretted that we had never dated. We had became pretty close through those letters (we're talking 8-15 pages every week!).

Long story but the wedding was on Saturday. On Thursday he called and asked me out to the movies (I was still visiting, staying with my aunt). My aunt had told me that he came by a few times looking for me but I had lots of friends to see so I wasn't there all the time. When he called I figured he meant with him and his fiancee. I had went to their place and hung out with them after the reception a little so I figured it would be the 3 of us. He was alone when he picked me up. I asked him where she was and he said he broke up with her. He wanted to be with me.

We hung out a lot over the next few days. He came over and got to know my aunt, uncle and cousins and everything. I left to come back home on Oct. 1st and on the 3rd he told me he was moving to Kansas. On the 30th he showed up on my doorstep (I still lived at home with my grandma, he moved in with us). A month later we got our own place. We moved in together before we ever really dated.

We lived together for 2 years before he engaged (on the 2 year anniversary of that movie date in Arizona). We were married 20 months after that (long engagement but we were paying for everything ourselves and we were also trying to work around all of our family members who were coming in out of state so finding a date was hard). We waited another 4 years before we had kids.

In May we will have been married 14 years, together for 18 and will have known each other for 23 years. Sean was 19 when we moved in together and I was 20. He was 22 (4 days shy of 23) and I was 24 when we got married.

[carrie1977]

We met in October 1999, bought a house in June 2002 and proposed at our housewarming party, got pregnant in November 2002, got married in May 2003 and had our daughter in July 2003. We did things a little wonky and backwards but we were ok with that. We now have a son and are still going strong.

[Lindsay]

We met online in Feb '99, met in person in April and got engaged in August. We were engaged for about 21 months before marrying in April 2001.

[nun69]

we met in Aug 1991, moved in together in Jan 1992 {we were both active duty navy at the time}, he deployed in the ship in Aug 1992 and 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant, then we got married in Dec 1992.....bought a house in 2010, I retired in 2011 and 4 kids and 20 years later we are still together! BUT, we were seperated on 2 different occasions {luckily we only had 1 child at the time} and the last time we got back together was Dec 1999 and the only time we have been seperated since is when I had to spend 8 months in Kuwait

[mrshobbes]

We met in school in 1998, and were friends for about a year. Got together July 1999, dated for six years before getting married in 2006. Been married six years And yup, sometimes I still have those moments where I can't believe I can call him husband

[emmasmommy]

i met darik in 1997. we dated for a few months, then broke up. we got back together in 1999 (well, if you wanna get specific, it was december 12, 1998). we dated for a year and a half and then were engaged for a year and a half

[snaggletooth75]

i am SO happy to know im not the only one who met thier hubby's online LOL. weeeeee. People thought i was so weird for that.

[scrapperjade]

I met DH in July 2003, started dating at the end of August, we got engaged on December 17, and were married in July of 2004! 8 years coming up!

[kim21673]

We met in April 03, started dating when I got back from Australia/New Zealand in late July 03, got engaged 10 months later April 30, 2004 and were married 14 months later on July 9, 2005.

My cousin Mark was in a rock band and I drove up to the city for a pre-show party and to listen to the band play in April. Then I disappeared for a few months and we met back up at the end of July when the band played again. We were together every weekend after that!

We had a longer engagement because I was an elementary teacher and had to wait until summer vacation. DH and I lived two hours away so commuting wasn't an option. We were planning on getting married in Fiji, which turned to Vegas so more people could come, which eventually tuned into an almost 400 person guest list in my hometown and I lived in such a small rural area that everything booked so far out so we couldn't plan it in a few months.

Neither of us were looking to date let alone get married. We were both happily single. Almost 9 years and 4 boys later...life is great.