What would you do?

[kscwgirl]

I'm annoyed.

My son's class has peanut/tree nut, milk and egg allergies.

I emailed the parents a reminder for their signups for the Fall party on Monday.

One mom emailed me back and asked about allergies, because she was signed up for candy, and said, I know we have peanut allergies, but what else do we have.

So I explained all the allergies and said we have 23 students, so please make sure you send enough.

Today, I get a bag sent home from her.

In that bag is a bag of 14 Reese's peanut butter cups.

So.. what would you do?

Would you email her and say.. did you possibly send me the wrong bag?
Would you return the candy to her student with a note that says thanks but you can't use this?
Or
Would you give the candy to your husband and just go buy something to replace it?

I'm still annoyed.

[MamaBee]

Seriously? She does realize that allergies mean that you don't send items with those items in it... geez, what a ditz!

Hmm... I suppose the proper thing would be to contact her and question... but I'm not that nice - I would send the bad back and a note that said, "really?"

[Darcy Baldwin]

make sure to send it back to her with an explanation that it can't be used so that she'll understand. If you don't..she'll be clueless. You'll probably need to purchase a replacement bag just in case she doesn't follow through. But definitely let her know!

[kscwgirl]

Originally Posted by Darcy Baldwin

make sure to send it back to her with an explanation that it can't be used so that she'll understand. If you don't..she'll be clueless. You'll probably need to purchase a replacement bag just in case she doesn't follow through. But definitely let her know!

I have to buy something anyway, b/c the party is monday and there's no school thurs and fri. I just didn't know if I should send it back to her or not.

[Misty Cato]

I'd buy a replacement bag and send them back with a note explaining that they can't be used. It may save you grief at future parties.

[ColleenSwerb]

I would definitely let her know, someway, that what she sent couldn't be served. You know. Because of the PEANUT ALLERGY THAT SHE KNEW ABOUT. AND that she can't count. Geezus, people never cease to amaze me.

But really, you need to let her know. Cuz she might just be that clueless. Which is downright scary.

[haydensmommy217]

I agree with what Darcy and Misty are saying, buy a replacement bag and send her a note or an email telling her why they cant be used.

[SweetMelissa]

I would call and ask if maybe there was a mix up. If not then say okay I just wanted to make sure and say thank you. Then I would replace it with something else. I don't like conflict so I wouldn't want to make a big deal out of it but I would def question it to make sure this is what she ment to send in. Then I would make sure she never signs up to bring food in again..

[Starlight-Princess]

I came accross this before in daycare, the parent of a child in my class sent in halloween treats that weren't suitable so I politely explained that due to allergies they couldnt be served. Her response was "well my kid doesn't have allergies so they can be served to the kids that don't" so some parents just don't care. I'd email her and say they can't be used and if she needs a list of the allergies again just to let you know x

[nun69]

I would email her and just ask....and then I woudl add the Reeese's to my Halloween candy bowl for ToTreaters and then go buy a replacement bag...I don't think sending it back to the kid with a note is cool because then you are kinda putting the kid in the middle and the bag might not make it home and get replaced by the time you need it...kwim....

[scrappurple]

Originally Posted by nun69

I would email her and just ask....and then I woudl add the Reeese's to my Halloween candy bowl for ToTreaters and then go buy a replacement bag...I don't think sending it back to the kid with a note is cool because then you are kinda putting the kid in the middle and the bag might not make it home and get replaced by the time you need it...kwim....

Haha ... this. I would probably also attach a copy of the email that specifically told her as a reminder of the conversation you had.

[kscwgirl]

Thanks girls.. I mentioned it today.. and I should say that the mom of the nut free kid is one I know well.. her son was in daycare w/ JJ for 3 years. She is also another room mom w/ me. So she asked me today how the goody bags were coming and I said fine, and that I had filled in with some candy today and she asked what happened.. so I told her.. and she said wait.. what? and I said.. why.. and she said... I work with both of her parents. *facepalm*

So.. the mom is VERY aware of the allergy.. and I now have completely NO explanation for the pb cups.. b/c I found out today the student doesn't have any older siblings in school.. so it's not the whole wrong bag thing.

[origami]

You know, it has just GOT to be that she sent the wrong bag of candy with the wrong kid OR her husband was apparently in charge that morning and simply had no clue and just randomly put the wrong bag of candy in the kid's backpack. She did ask you, so it sounds like there must have been a mix-up. Not sure exactly what I'd do, but is she likely to find out if you just replace the candy with something else yourself? Probably not, so I say give it to your husband and replace it yourself. I'd just thank everyone and move on and when it's time for the next party I would probably make a very specific list of approved items and then let people sign up for what they want to bring.

I got an email this week from the person running our party and she was like, "What do you want to bring?" And I wrote back, "What do you want me to bring? What do you need?" Honestly, I'd like to be given a specific list of choices or a suggestion of what to bring.

[mrshobbes]

I agree with Darcy and Meghan--inform her, but maybe going forward it'd be better to just ask parents to donate.

(and the meanie in me would email her some newspaper clipping of fatalities due to allergies--those aren't things she should take lightly )

[Kjersti]

It's just strange that she actually verified with you there was a peanut allergy and then sent the peanut butter cups. It doesn't add up.

I'd go with option C......eat them all yourelf

[sprauncey1]

You are so sweet Sara to be handling this and bless you for taking it all so seriously. As a mom of a peanut allergic pre-schooler, this scenario just scares me. Sigh. I try to inform people, I try to send a list of OK stuff (and how to read labels), I send in snacks all the time so there are things, and yet I'm still running into parents sending in PB&J sands. I know its hard for those parents that don't have to deal with this everyday, but those nut allergies are like a Russian roulette game, one of these times it will fire!

So yes, send a note. Keep the candy. And I love the idea of donating money to a well informed organizer who knows what she/he is doing!