I've been having a real hard time recently dealing with my Dads death from this summer. A lot of people are telling me it isn't just his death, but several traumatic losses in my life that I never properly dealt with, let myself feel, or grieve in anyway. I just bottled it up and hid it inside. So I let it out. I know the page looks simple, but I literally cried and poured my soul into for days. All the little journaling spots around the "scarred" heart read
1989-1992 Being molested repeatedly as a child!
1990 Grandpa’s accidental lethal injection during routine surgery...Stupid Nurse!
1994 The beggining of a self destructive marriage!
1995 Gradma’s sudden death. Kylie was born weeks later!
1995 Ruptured tubal pregnancy!
1996 Emotional tolls ofa tramatic delivery and life in the NICU!
1998 Losing Kylie & Jordan. God I miss my babies!
Being weak and fearful in the presence of Lane! (my ex-husband)
2003 my biological father thinking he has a right to me after 27 years!
Years of Hospice work has taken it’s toll!
2007 Dads death...due to the doctor prescribing a dose 3 times too high of a med!
Most of you all don't know that at one point I had two other kids. I did grieve that loss for a long time, still do. I think it was one of the only events I actually let myself feel and it truly overwhelmed me for years. I was non-functional. The most recent hurt/scar, for some reason, I don't know why I chose to do in red. maybe because it is so new and so raw?
Lyrics are Papa Roach Scars. Papers are
Penny Springman's Thankful. Painted stamps by Michelle Coleman. Fonts are SP wonderful Wendy, Inkburrow & Satisfaction. Special thanks to Mirado for letting me use his heart photo.
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