misfitinmn

Sweet Talker
Registered: June 2009 Location: Minnesota Posts: 3,547

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For the Diving challenge
I chose Forward, Back, Inward, Twisting
Credits:
Measure Your Life in Love by Jenn Barrette
Cindy's Layered Templates Set 125 by Cindy Schneider
A Quiver of Arrows by Julie Billingsley (altered, kinda - at least partially!)
Oh My Darlin' by Kristin Cronin-Barrow
Here Comes Trouble by Kristin Cronin-Barrow
I Heart Ribbons by Julie Billingsley
My Ribbon Jar by Britt-ish Designs
Markeriffic by CD Muckosky
Teeny Type Too by CD Muckosky
Color Pop Alpha by Shawna Clingerman
Journaling reads:
I’m not gonna pretend that I understand it, or that it makes sense, or justify it...I am hurt. I am hurt that my biological father does not make more of an effort to be in my boys' lives. Now, I’m not going to act like I do a great job of keeping in touch with him and his “new family”, because I don’t. And frankly, I am used to the fact that I seem to be kind of a “disposable child” to him, I’ve gotten over that. But how he could meet you both, know he has grandchildren, and not even send a card to acknowledge either of their birthdays is just beyond my realm of understanding. He still sends me an obligatory card and includes Jon now as well, but makes no mention of either of the boys. Honestly, I would rather if he was going to send a card, he'd send it to the two of them. I don't need a dang thing from him, but THEY get excited about their birthdays and it's fun for them. But in the end, I know that it's him getting the short end of this "arrangement" we have where we pretend each other doesn't exist except to call once a year (if even then). Because these boys are all kinds of completely amazing and special. And he will never get to have a relationship with them because he doesn't choose to. I would never deny him a relationship with his grandsons... his relationship with ME is not really "strained"...it's just, nonexistant. We're pleasant with each other when we talk or visit, but he doesn't know me. I hoped it would change with the boys, but instead all it has been every time we see them is his shock & awe & disbelief that he is a grandpa. His kids with wife #2 aren't TOO much older than the boys so I am sure it's strange but I think it's time to get over it. I'm not going to chase him or beg him to be in their lives. They deserve more than that, they deserve someone who wants to make the effort to know them. And above all things, they deserve love. And they get a ton of it from everyone else who has met them. And that to me, is what is worth focusing on in the end.
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