Sweet Shoppe Designs

Journaling:
The biggest impression left on my life was when my ‘father’ left. I was only three
years old but it’s a feeling I’ll never forget. I spent 19 years hating him so much
because as a mother I could never understand how he could walk away from his own
child. I don’t remember any of the times we spent together but i do have many
photos of it, which i think in the end hurt even worse. I remember my ‘father’
calling when it seemed to suit him, and not really remember anything we ever talked
about. I remember that I’d hold my breath when the mail man came to deliver a
certified letter to my mom, since that usually ment it was from Mike. I would try not
to get my hopes up because usually the letters were not good. Finally He wanted to see
me...I was so nervous. Then mom sat me down to talk to me. I remember her telling me
to think about it and see if it was really what I wanted and if it was really what HE
wanted or if it was because of child support. I wrote him a letter telling him that I’d
only see him if it was what he really wanted, yet that was the last I heard from him. we think that he was there when I graduated since his neice and I were in the same graduation class. He also tells everyone that
he has a grandson and tried so hard to get pictures of owen. I told my mom to tell
the person trying to get one for him that it would be over my cold dead body before
he ever got to see a Owen. Looking back I am glad things turned out how they did.
It helped me to become an amazingly strong and beautiful woman. I am reminded daily of my father since I’ve been told that my looks come from him. I am able to say that I am over the last 19 years of pain he’s caused me. I know we will
never be able to have a real relation ship but I would be willing to sit down one day and
have a real face to face conversation with him. I’d love to hear his words and the story he
has for why things went down how they will. I will not let him use me to get to my mom,
but I would love to make things right nad get everything I’ve ever wanted to say off my
chest and just tell him how I feel and how i’ve felt the last 19 years of my life. Maybe
some day I’ll get to tell him. Only time will be able to tell if that really happens.

Credits:
Template: Fairytale template by Micheline Martin (blog freebie)
flower border: A Springy Kind of Fling by Lauren Grier and Julie Billingsly
Stars (extracted from a word art doodle) Princess La La Land by Lauren Grier and Shawna Clingerman
Pink Paper: Mahalo by Miriam Lima and Dani Mogstad
Blue Scallop Paper: A thing for Blue by Miriam Lima
blue strip/pink strip: Spring Assortment Collection by Miriam Lima
Daddy's Alpha: Amy Lou by Lauren Grier and Gina Miller
Girl: A Clear Day by ScarletHeels
Staple: Cause and effect by lauren grier and julie billingsly
Frame: A Springy Kind of Fling by Lauren Grier and Julie Billingsly