Sweet Shoppe Designs

Very hard topic for me. Journaling reads::
"I think my MAIN reason for wanting to be a La Leche League leader is my "failure" to breastfeed Colton. I beat myself up daily, each time I nurse Elly, that he didn't get what she does. He nursed for 6 weeks and then I thought I wasn't producing enough milk. He would fuss and just seemed hungry. I knew nothing about BFing...I thought it would be a piece of cake. I wasn't educated at all. So I gave up. Gave him formula and that was that. Now, Elly and I have this special bond. I know that I can comfort her instantly with nursing. She gets hurt, I nurse her. She is scared around strangers, I nurse her. She's becoming a toddler and exploring her independence but still knows that I am there when she needs me. With Colton I hug him and hold him when he's hurt or upset...but he still cries and isn't comforted instantly like Elly is. I love my son and I want more than anything to treat my children the same and parent fair. But I feel like that is impossible when I have such an intimate relationship with Ellyana. I do not want him to see that. I do not want him to feel like I treat her differently because of our nursing relationship. I really hope that one day I can explain that to him and let him know that weaning him so early is something that I regret so much. I really believe in learning from your mistakes and making your life better, which is what my goal is with LLL, but it's still so hard."

Always and Forever by Lauren Grier, Shawna Clingerman and Dani Mogstad
Lightroom Preset by Candice Wong