Sweet Shoppe Designs

Credits: Layered Template (Queen Of The Crop Template) by Traci Reed and Girls Rule, Boys Drool by Lauren Grier, Amanda Slagle (Mandabean) and Shawna Clingerman. Fonts are DJB Nicole by Darcy Baldwin and Hotel Coral Essex.
Journalling reads: Ever since I was little, I always remember feeling as though every little thing that went wrong was my fault. My mum didn’t like me - my fault, My dad walking out on me - my fault, The endless bullying - my fault. The older I got the more I felt like I destroyed everything and everyone whose lives I touched. My mum hated me more with every passing year. My dad didn’t bother to answer my letters, or call when he promised to. There were times I was driven to tears by the bullies at school the more I tried not to let them see me cry the more they seemed to try, and delight in my misery. By the time I left school my confidence was shot. I had a full time job where I handed over my entire wage packet to my mum every week. It was the only way she would be civil towards me, but she still made it clear that she hated me with a passion. So when I met Adam I gave him everything, I let him abuse me, I let him hurt me and then when he cheated on me with my best friend I still assumed I hadn’t given enough. After Adam came a guy called Dash, I thought flirting was harmless one thing lead to another and I felt dirty for letting it get to that, for not having the courage to say no to stay stop. Then after him came the biggest mistake of my life, my boss at work his name was Chris raped me. I truly hated myself and felt so ashamed that I had let it happen. I followed that with another mistake, I kept it to myself. Until eventually it all came spewing out during a row with Mark and he left me for a while, saying he couldn’t trust me (of course being pregnant and the possibility of it not being Mark’s didn’t help) all my fault of course. We got through it, I did a much better job of blaming me than Mark could ever have done anyway. We finally thought we were getting back on track we had a beautiful baby boy and we were finally starting to be happy. Then came the 1st miscarriage (Gaiebraille), followed by the pregnancy from hell (Leo) which was shortly followed by his death. I sunk more and more into depression, by the time we had the last miscarriage (Ambrose), I felt as if everyone would have been better off if I had never been born. Maybe one day I might believe it’s not my fault, but not today!