Sweet Shoppe Designs

Eva Kipler - BeYOUtiful
DJB - Journal Bits

Journaling reads: I have very mixed emotions and thoughts running through my head when I think back to 2004 when we first started trying to conceive. I was so naive. It took us a few months before I got pregnant and I was so excited to tell family in August. Unfortunately, a few weeks later I had a miscarriage and felt terrible I told everyone I was pregnant so early on, when everything around me told me not to. A few months later I found out I was pregnant again and was due in August 2005. I had Gestational Diabetes throughout the pregnancy and was on Insulin. After Nathan was born, my world changed - I developed Postpartum Depression and it took me a good while to get adjusted to things. I had no idea that my nights would be filled with such little sleep and “me time” was almost non-existent. Becoming parents for the first time took a toll on our marriage too and we definitely suffered through a couple years of being unhappy. I was definitely leery of having any more children - not only because of the stress it caused on our marriage but because of the Gestational Diabetes and Postpartum Depression. Fortunately, after some counseling, I changed my tune and became pregnant. I was tested for the Gestational Diabetes earlier on and started on Insulin for that. We were told we were having a girl so when the doctor said, “It’s a boy,” at the delivery, we were in shock. I had planned for a girl, had her name on the wall in her bedroom, and had all the tags off of the clothes. I wouldn’t trade Anthony for the world, but I always get a pain in my stomach when I think of the girl I never had. For almost half of the pregnancy I thought I was having a girl - I planned for her, I dreamed for her. My only hope is that one day one of my sisters will have a girl and I can smother her with lots of kisses and buy her girly, pink clothes. After I had Anthony I had my tubes tied, so the possibility of me having any more children is slim to none - and I’m okay with that. Our marriage has actually improved ten-fold since having a second child. We both share in more of the responsibilites. Being a mom of two boys is perfect for me.
I love being able to say I have two boys.