Sweet Shoppe Designs

~*Shabby Sundress Collection by Eve Recinella at Sweet Shoppe Designs *~
specifically:
Shabby Sundress Alpha
Shabby Sundress Elements
Shabby Sundress Solids

Flower from Funky Fresh by Eve Recinella
Font = Pea Jenny

Journaling =The outside looks like a happy woman in a happy family.

On the inside I worry that: I’m too fat - My complexion is horrible - I’m an overprotective mom - or I can’t handle my girls.

I’m a woman in my 30s with a complete family of my own, but why do I still feel like a child and have no confidence in all that I am when I’m with the elders in my family? Why do they only have negative comments when they mention my weight or my complexion? Why does it make it okay to tell me and my sister that we are overprotective/strict parents and hope we don’t take it personally by saying “No offense, but...” in front of that? And why were we told this during a weekend of celebration where I was worried that people would think that I was an ineffective/lax parent because I gave my girls lollipops during the wedding ceremony to keep them quiet, let them roam around the hill side (with someone trailing them of course), feeding them chicken strips, French fries and punch for dinner, letting my youngest one occasionally roam around the banquet hall barefoot at times (so cute!) and letting them run around in a room separated from the main banquet hall with windows (let my girls run and be children while keeping the noise away from everyone else).

When I was a insecure teenager, I would go to the staircase in my Grandma’s house and cry by myself whenever someone would make too many of these negative comments and I couldn’t handle it. 2 decades later and things haven’t seemed to change much at all. I’ve met plenty of other people since then that have been an encouragement in my life. What I can’t figure out is why it still hurts so much. Why do they continue to make insensitive remarks to a grown woman? Why do I still let it get to me? Why am I still so...INSECURE?