we're not going to survive elementary school

[lauren grier]

really.
we're in our 2nd week of school and i am not hopeful
Kindy was a wash.. we had some pretty bad stuff happen and he just wasn't there- i gave him a pass for kindy
1st grade began the total hatred of school. To the point that he'd cry every morning complaining it was too loud -.- and that he wasn't going to school. He kept struggling with school work because he was bored and didnt want to be there or writes jibberish because he's rushing through (again, not wanting to be there).
Now we enter 2nd grade.. Where they have nightly math and reading homework, and once or twice a week writing homework.. and he's already started up with the poopy tude. We have a mini battle at night to get the homework done (and seriously, he's a secret mini genius i swear-it takes him 2 seconds to do the whole math work, once he DOES it) and reading is just pssht. He hates reading. So he acts up and makes me want to eat him. I swear i need to start paying someone to do homework time with him to save him.. I'm really going to eat him. Really. He's already complaining about hating school again too. I think he'd prefer to live in a silent bubble.
Does anyone have some magic trick to make him like school, and not make me crazy? OR make me not eat him during homework time (and yes, I let him unwind afterschool before making him do it too). PLLLLLLLLLLLB. He fought my mum on homework while he was there when i was in the hospi- so thankfully I know it's not me ^_^

[nun69]

OMG...this so sounds like Ben...he is in the 5th grade this year and it's starting pretty well...but the thing I HAD to do was try to make it kinda fun for him and let him know, as soon as you are done you can play this or that{plus he did MUCH better when it was completely quiet in the house and nobody was bothering him}....I also would actually sit and read at the same time he was reading so it was quiet and we were doing the same thing....we found out last year that the whole thing with Ben and Math was that he ALREADY knew it and was bored doing the nomework, so once the teacher realized it, she put him in a little group with some other smart math kids and gavev them more challenges and this helped him start liking school and making some new friends. Maybe his teacher can give him some more challenging stuff to make him think and work a little harder. Also, maybe you can find some books that he likes to read and that will help....Did you ask him why he doesn't like school this year? I had to ask Ben over and over last year and we FINALLY found out that the group of kids he was sitting with were teasing him and making fun of him if he missed a question or got something wrong. So after they moved him it was like night and day! So hopefully he will tell you why he doesn't like school good luck!!!!!

[taracotta7]

Sounds like it is not challenging enough for him. I would ask the school to test him for the gifted program. Maybe he just needs more of a challenge.

And please don't eat him.......1. I am pretty sure he wouldn't be all that yummy. and 2. it is frowned upon these days.

[maryinaz]

I agree, he sounds bored, so maybe he needs more challenging work. Or, can you bribe him? Pay him somehow for when he does his homework without resisting? Most of my boys' friends get paid for grades, so that's pretty common.

[lauren grier]

he's currently on an iep-- left overs from kindy struggles when he fell behind. He is *slightly* behind on reading (like one level behind- they do the abcdefg etc levels at his school) but everything else- like you guys said, he's bored.. and he already knows how to do it etc. BUT, because of the reading issues they think he sucks at everything (paraphrasing obv) and i've fought the teachers on this every year so far.

There was that ONE book he liked reading.. haha.. I swear i can't figure it out- it's just his mood. I bet if we reead that book he'd be grumpy with it again. It's probably because that's the only thing that actually he's not great at and he hates failing. It's a double issue. He's bored cause stuff is too easy...... or he's mad because it's hard for him ><

There are def a few problem meano kids in his class (again) so i'm sure that's not helping. Bleeeeeh. I might try bribing

[Jengerbread88]

Sounds just like Jeffrey. He's in 5th grade. And seriously, during homework time, I want to eat him, too. But since eating him is halfway illegal, and I don't want to be taken away from Zach for eating Jeffrey, I restrain myself and leave the room.

Then again, I don't have to help him with his homework- I can go on strike with him because I'm only the sister

[jaylensmom]

Luckily my mom does homework with my son...but the deal is he has no break...he gets home he does his homework...it definitely works better for us because once it's done he has the evening to do whatever...Don't get me wrong he occasionally has his homework melt downs but so far none in the two weeks he's been in school...

Is there something you can bribe him with my son loves to watch power rangers so if he acts up his tv time is taken away...

[robinforman]

I would say put a pretty strict schedule in place (ie: get home, snack, homework) and enforce it.... This is good for a couple of reasons: 1. He knows exactly what to expect and I have found kids always do better when they know the drill and 2. There is no fun until it is done. Therefore, the longer he whines/complains/stalls, the longer it is until he can do the stuff he wants to do. Really, he is just wasting his OWN free time.

[mrshobbes]

I have no advice but just wanted to give you virtual **HUGGLES** and to say please don't eat him, I think it would be a mess to clean up.

[VillageJen]

I realize you might not be looking for a radical solution but would homeschooling be an option? There are no meanies and you can go at the child's pace... quicker in subjects that come easily, slower in ones that are more challenging. There's no pressure to "keep up" or to tread water in order to stay with the group.

It's sad for such a young child to hate school. Learning should be a joy. Sometimes classroom structure sucks that joy right out.

[julifish]

You might have him try the My Weird School book series. My DD hated school we found out it was because she couldn't focus on her own (she has ADD). While we were struggling through that the only thing I could get her to read was the My Weird School series. It broke her out of her shell. We still fight about homework - she can't focus by the time we get home from aftercare/after I pick her up from work. So it's been a struggle this year. I'd try talking to the teacher to brainstorm ideas to get him engaged. I would think it would be easier for the teacher to have a kid that wants to learn vs one who is being stubborn.

[rach3975]

I feel your pain! Jason is also in 2nd grade, and 2 weeks in we're already struggling with homework. We did all during 1st, too. It takes him twice as long as it should because of all the whining and stalling. He does his math homework in 2 seconds and doesn't fight the silent reading part of it too badly. But the spelling and writing? Ugh. That part doesn't come easy to him, and he gets frustrated SO easily.

Starting today we're on more of a schedule, homework wise. He gets 30 minutes to relax and have a snack, then no more free time until all his homework is done. Like others have said, I think it will help him see that he's just wasting his own free time with the attitude.

I wish I had some magic words of wisdom on liking school, too. Jason has had 2 wonderful teachers, and this year's seems good so far, too. It isn't the teacher, and it isn't the kids. It's just that he doesn't want to be there. He wants to spend his days running around and making up games, not working hard. I've given up hope that he's ever going to love it, but I wish he'd find a way to make his peace with being there.

ETA: After I commiserated, I remembered you'd said he complains about the noise. Does he have any other sensitivities (to light, tight clothes, food textures, etc)? If so, could he have sensory processing disorder? That could account for him being overwhelmed by a busy classroom and miserable about being there. If you think it might be a possibility, the occupational therapist at his school might be able to test him for it and work with him to help him cope with a classroom environment.

[nun69]

yeah La...I would definetely check out where he is seating and seeing if some of the kids in his little "group" are being mean to him...it took Ben quite awhile to speak up and let us know because he thought he would get in trouble for telling, but once we got it straight he did so much better....I know he is a little older, but if he is having trouble reading I wonder if he can you some of those visual program that they have for the computer for reading...might be worth a try...I know for kindergarten this year Abby needs to have earbuds for the learning she is going to be doing in the library with e type books...

[newfiemountiewife]

Originally Posted by taracotta7

Sounds like it is not challenging enough for him. I would ask the school to test him for the gifted program. Maybe he just needs more of a challenge.

And please don't eat him.......1. I am pretty sure he wouldn't be all that yummy. and 2. it is frowned upon these days.

Agreed on all counts!

[kristijoy]

Originally Posted by nun69

yeah La...I would definetely check out where he is seating and seeing if some of the kids in his little "group" are being mean to him...it took Ben quite awhile to speak up and let us know because he thought he would get in trouble for telling, but once we got it straight he did so much better....

I also wondered if there was perhaps something else going on besides just doing school work. My sister has a friend with a daughter who really started acting out because she was upset about her mother's upcoming business trip. Perhaps there is something else in his life situation that is getting to him.

[crecia27]

I've resorted to bribery. We have a no electronics rule M-T, but they can earn time with good spelling test grades and good homework habits. I tried everything else, shed hundreds of tears- and finally gave in to bribes. My 9 year old CAN read at level, but you'd think you were asking him to poke his eyes with a hot branding iron when you ask him to. So I got a few free books from Amazon and am going to try letting him read on my kindle or phone and hope that it being electronic will make him think it's special.

My girl? She's always got her nose in a book and reminds me she can't go to bed without reading for 20 minutes first. Why couldn't that have equally spread between the 2??

to be fair, I think homework is cruel. They are in school all day, why does what little time we get with them need to be spent fighting? Are they REALLY learning anything?

[rach3975]

Originally Posted by crecia27

My girl? She's always got her nose in a book and reminds me she can't go to bed without reading for 20 minutes first. Why couldn't that have equally spread between the 2??

My boys are like that--the 7 year old hates spending his days in school and doing homework and will only read if forced. He thinks that all learning should be done via educational video game, and if it can't be turned into a game it's not worth knowing. My 5 year old has always loved school, learning, and books. He started reading almost a year before starting K and is as likely to be reading as playing. He's the one on an IEP and has trouble with focus and organization (among other things); I'm praying that as he gets older that doesn't start to affect his attitude toward school.

[lauren grier]

Originally Posted by rach3975

After I commiserated, I remembered you'd said he complains about the noise. Does he have any other sensitivities (to light, tight clothes, food textures, etc)? If so, could he have sensory processing disorder? That could account for him being overwhelmed by a busy classroom and miserable about being there. If you think it might be a possibility, the occupational therapist at his school might be able to test him for it and work with him to help him cope with a classroom environment

Just the noise.. no other sensory things (he does work with the OT though [since he was getting the iep they just tacked everything on. like speech, which he doesnt need at all] because hes not super awesome at writing (lefty) and cutting straight.. but they've never had any concerns otherwise)

And yes...... yes. ce is one of those kids that just won't SAY anything. Last year, he was stuck sitting next to the bully.. forever... even after the kid stabbed him in the hand with a pencil i made him go back and tell the teacher what happened and they finally moved his seat.. so it's entirely possible he's sitting next to someone again who is irritating him - but i swear he's irritated by everyone atm. I'll talk to him after school today to see who's around him. They have desks this year instead of the circle tables so i was hoping that would be a help but maybe not.

ce's had a ton of other stuff going on in his life that have caused problems- the latests the adjusting to the bf being around a lot stuff. we've been dealing with his tude for months and months now with no end in sight.. but that's a whole different post

thanks for all the suggestions guys :]

[HeatherB]

Having problems with K, gr1, and now gr2 - poor little guy. Is he around 7 years old? That's so young to already not enjoy school considering he has years of it ahead of him - this is really sad.

Sounds like lots of good suggestions here already.

[lauren grier]

yep, he's turning 8 in december.. I've said the same thing..lol this is when you're supposed to love school. When you get to play with legos and playdough

[sczos911]

I'd go in and talk to the teacher. Alone. Without Ce. See who he is sitting by, check things out and talk to her about your struggles and what you can do. See how they run things, if they have a chart for behavior. We do & I always ask if they stayed on green today/ who got moved to yellow, anyone get a red, why/what happened? I find out a lot by asking questions like that.

And I would keep asking the same questions. I find that if I am more specific and don't let up with the questioning - not badgering, but ya know, like instead of asking what did you do today, i ask who brought snack? who'd you sit by at lunch? what boy chased you on the playground? how's bertha (insert name or make one up! that gets lots of giggles and them talking).

as for homework - i am not home when the girls get home. the ol' hubby is. i basically laid down the rules. snack, no tv and then homework. they need to at least start it before i get home. j does better the earlier in the day it is. so after dinner - she's done tired out and it takes a gazillion times longer to accomplish!

gl. don't eat him. i hit a breaking point last week with math homework. i wanted to eat her - so.frustrating!