Need some serious cheering up....

[rainydays]

Ok....so after alot of number crunching last night and today, and well, the last 8 months....we have come to the realization that we can't afford what we have...we have steadily been going more and more into the negative and now our negative taps have run dry. We made the decision last night to sell our house to clear up the debt we have gotten ourselves in.....but where to now???? We just (8 months ago) made a 600km move...and now we are going to have to start over...urggg...I spent all day crying...who knows what the right decision is right????? How do you know things will get better??? My hhusband got a job offer for WAY more money in another province so that would mean the move again! Although the money is better, the cost of living is even higher there than it is here....I am SO depressed. And to top things off my mom isn't being very supportive and my brother (who lives in this town) Is super PISSED.....where is the light at the end of the tunnel?? IS there one????

Thanks for listening.

[KristinCB]

**huge hugs**

I don't know what to say. You have to just do whats best for you, make sure you weigh the pros and cons of whatever it is you decide to do. Where did your hubby get a job offer, where might you move?

[rainydays]

we'd be moving back into Alberta...*sigh* but like I said the cost of living there is so much more....and to top things off, DH called the company tonight to tell them that we didn't think the move would be fesable, financially, and they offered him a $5000.00 moving allowance.... I feel so defeated.....I love our house and hate to sell it, but we also stand to make a HUGE profit on the sale...Realators are coming in the morning...I haven't slept and probably won't again tonight

[jaylensmom]

(((hugs))))...i hope everything works out for you...

[tuneskids]

((hugs)) Shannon ... although we have never owned a place, we have moved numerous times for financial stability. That was one of the main reasons we moved to where we live now ... lower cost of living and better job positions for my hubby.
Where in Alberta???

[rainydays]

Bonneyville...Its north east...by Cold Lake I think

[uptowngirl]

hon... i am sorry to hear you are going through this... we are stuck livig with my parents right now because last summer my hubby was offered a job in NJ our homestate. it all happened so quickly. and we decided to stay with my parents for a few months and then get our own place, etc. the problem is that even though he is making A LOT more money now, I am not working and the cost of living in NJ is outrageous. i cry about it all the time... who wants to live with their parents in their 30's, especially since right out of HS i was off to college 3000 miles away! and i could get a job but i have decided to take this time to be home with my girl... i had to go back to work 16 wks after i had her which way too fast... and she was in daycare all day for about 5 months and i hated it.

but sometimes i feel that even if i got a job we couldn't afford it!!! the costs of things are insane these days... i dont know how most people afford anything.

it is hard and frustrating but you have to do what you think is best... and as my hubby always tells me, crying isn't going to help the situation but only makes you feel worse. so try to have positive thoughts and envison the light at the end of the tunnel... it is there... you just have to be patient!

[twentytinytoes]

*hugs* I wish they were a button that would tell us what the right thing to do was. I would just outweigh all your options & make sure you both communicate what you really want and not find out a year later you were just doing what you thought the other one wanted. Yep speaking from experience LOL Best of luck

[Joan]

Oh, man, Shannon, I wish I knew what to tell you. All I can say is make sure you guys look carefully at all your options. A job with more money is great, but the cost of living is pretty insane in Alberta these days.

I agree with Kristina about trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know it's hard at times when it seems everything is crashing down around you. I do believe everything happens for a reason, and if you guys do decide to sell your house, there may well be some very good reason that will become evident to you eventually. There are positives in everything, although they aren't always easy to see, especially when we're trying to come to grips with major changes we don't feel ready for.

Take it all one step at a time. Don't let it overwhelm you. And, of course, feel free to vent to us anytime.
{{{{hugs}}}}

[Shawna Clingerman]

Can I just say - you are my hero - I can only imagine how hard it is to sell a home you love, but if it is what is best for your family than you are a serious hero for doing it!

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow - I hope everything seems much more clear after you speak to the realtor.

Big hugs!

[Paula Duncan]

I made the big move from BC to Alberta almost a year ago and I wasn't sure it was the right thing either but we are here and things have been alright!! We are better off financially, I got a promotion with my job and my daughter has settled in pretty well!! I still have days when I wish I was back in BC but I know that this is where I have to be right now for my family!!

Yes the cost of living here is higher than Sask however the pay is better too!! It makes up for the difference!! If this job your husband was offered is a great opportunity for him to succeed and get you out of the debt you are in then you have to do what is best all around. I'm not going to say it is going to be easy but if you give it a chance it could be a great adventure!!

Take it from someone that has just picked up and moved from her home twice now. First from my home town and second from my dd home!!

[meems]

((hugs)), tough decisions but I'm a believer that things will work out eventually. Good luck with figuring out what is best for your family.

[Penny Springmann]

Shannon, (((HUGS))) I'll be thinking about you. Uncertainty and giving up a home you love is so difficult. Hang in there!

[newfiemountiewife]

I'm so sorry, we have to move every 3-4 years, DH is a Mountie, and it sucks. I know too well how you feel about the money situation as well. I think you need to do what's best for your family, and who cares what anyone else thinks. We have a lot of people from NL that have had to move to Alberta for work, BIL is one, and they say the cost of living makes it very difficult. Good luck and many ((hugs)). I'm sure everything will work itself out in the end, it always seems to.

[stayawake]

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through! That's rough. A lot of people I know, friends of mine have been moving to Alberta because there is work there... and they really like it actually. Things are expensive here in Ontario too - but we've managed to pay off my husbands crazy insane school debt in four years by not owning a car, and now living in co-op housing (it's a great community, though, and we live in a big townhouse which we pay practically nothing for!) for now. We just bought a car last month (our first one, and we're almost thirty!) and we are saving for a downpayment on a house. I believe that if you make the sacrifices you'll need to, you'll be able to pay for everything you need - and a lot of things you want eventually!!! It must be SO hard to sell your hosue and move again. UGH! Keep us posted on how everything goes, okay?

[pbumbaca]

I'm sorry that you have to deal with all of this. I am fearing all of the same things myself as if I don't find a job soon we could possibly loose our house too. I do feel that all things happen for a reason and maybe this reason is because you will be moving to a better house! It may be tough at first but you just never know the fact that your DH is getting a much better job is definitely one positive piece. Good luck with your decision making!

[Angela Spangler]

{{HUGS}}

Things always work out, even if it's not how you think. The big decisions are the hardest, but you'll be ok.

[Valgal]

Have you ever heard of Dave Ramsey? He is a financial expert with a ground-breaking plan to become debt free. When my girlfriend told me that she was going to pay off her mortgage in full I thought she was CRAZY. But then I listened to Dave on the radio (he also has a show on CNN) I was intrigued to read his book, The Total Money Makeover.. I was so captivated I stayed up till 2am reading it, lol! It has changed our life. Not exaggerating. In the past few months we have been able to put aside a $1000 emergency fund, pay off my gym membership, 1 credit card and a bill we had to Dell for my dh's laptop. By the end of the summer we will have payed off our Jeep in full. We are NOT rich people, btw.

HERE is his website. I hope you look into it!

Oh, and the book is VERY easy to read. I can assure you that I do not get financial language one little bit, but I understood everything he had to say. He writes in regular everyday lauguage and is quite funny actually.

[ColleenSwerb]

You can do this girl. You can do anything you put your mind to, I know you can.
DH and I sat down and busted my butt to get rid of my debt. In 6 months we got rid of $15k in debt I had racked up on my credit cards (I'm AWFUL wtih money, obviously, lol). It means no going out to eat, no spending money on anything, etc, but when it's done it feels OH so good!

Check out Dave Ramsey like Val just posted, weigh out your pro's and con's, and realistically look at your budget. There's a way to make it work for you. Good luck!

[ditzyscrap]

Bonnieville is only I think an hour and a half from me...that's cool! And I have family that live in Cold Lake, too.

Anyhow, I know it's hard to make a big move like that, especially when it sounds like you just did! But, Alberta is a nice place to live, and depending on WHERE in Saskatchewan you are, you may find it's not as expensive as you think. Gas and food is cheaper here than it is where my parents live (small town SK). Rent is probably higher, unless you live in a city right now, then you'll find it is cheaper probably. Our school system is better (believe me, I went to school in both AB and SK...AB is definitely better).

Alberta is booming right now and there is lots of work...I don't know if you want to work, but it's SO easy for women (even those that have been SAHM's for years) to find work right now if you're willing to work service industry jobs - especially fast food restaurants. They're closing them down and closing early because they don't have the staff to fill them, all because everyone's heading to the big jobs where they can make the "real" money. But, I know at my McD's, if you're older and willing to work, you'll make more than the store's minimum wage (which is higher than the province's minimum wage). These places are literally CRYING for people to come work for them!

Anyhow, just wanted to pipe in that Alberta's not that bad...and I hope that you like Bonnieville...I've only been there a couple times, usually just passing through. (((hugs)))

[Amy Carey]

I'l be thinking of you today as you meet with the realtors..I agree with Shawna too..you are a HERO for making such a sacrifice for your family. The only other piece of advise I would offer is to not let other family' members/friends etc. opinions have any sway in your decision. I know you're not happy that your brother's not happy, but really is it HIS life this decision will drastically change? NOPE. You and your DH need to stand together as one and make the best decisions for you and YOUR family. In the end it'll all be okay, you sound like you have such a good head on your shoulders and I believe you'll come through fine

[ashleyprugh]

{{{{{hugs}}}}}

my parents spent 22 years in the negative. we rented for 23 years. and they're now FINALLY out of the negative, and bought their first house.

there is a light. i promise! {{{{hugs}}}}

[my4boys]

sending {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}} I hope everything works out for you girl....I don't know anything about Canada so I can't chime in but I have heard really good things about the book Val suggested. I am tunneling good vibes your way.........

[scrappychic]

{{Hugs}} Shannon, so sorry you're having to go through this tough time. I hope you've weighed all your options and hope the decision you and DH make works out in the end.

We've been trying to put our house on the market since it's getting too small for the 5 of us, but we can't even do that since it's depreciated so much and we're stuck in one of those really bad sub-prime loans. We can't even re-fi since we used us more than what our house is worth. It scares me that our mortgage can go up anytime b/c it's adjustable now. I'm stuck here for a while.

Keeping positive thoughts for you.

[BrattyMeg]

(((Shannon))) huge hugs for ya hun!

I second the Dave Ramsey book-DH and I did the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Seminar and it's probably the best thing financially we ever did for our family. I'm a $$ saver anyways (DH IS NOT lol) and I can really see a difference in our $$ and my happiness (I stress when we lack $$)

[uptowngirl]

Thanks for the tip on that book!! I am going to check it out!

[scrapperjade]

HUGS Shannon! I know how stressful & hard debt is and how hard it is to leave a place you love! I moved from BC to SK (where DH & I are now), and every day I still miss BC. We moved for work too. DH was working a dead-end job at a telecommunications center, and now has a very good job drywalling/painting (with my dad).

Anyways, over the last 3 years, we've managed to get into debt, which is really stressing me out. We bought a car, bought a house, did lots of renos, and recently had our first baby. So I'm now a SAHM, and while I love it, it stresses me out to be living off DH's wage only. We weren't that careful with our money, and now are in debt.

Recently, we've been taking almost extreme measures to cut back & save. We have stopped eating out (we were eating out 2-3 times per week). No more "treats" (specialty coffees, no trips to the bakery - I was a sucker for it, no chocolate bars @ convenience stores when filling up the tank). We are trying to walk more to save the gas (fairly easy because we live in such a small town). I buy virtually nothing and DH is doing the same. It's bills only basically. Yeah, it sucks, but we are willing to do it to get out of debt.

One thing we did too was get rid of 2 credit cards. I had 1, DH had 1, and we had 1 together. Now we just have the joint one. We emptied all our cards (2 were over 2000, mine was over 1000) into a credit line from the bank, which will save us 12% per month on interest! We are pretty happy about that. A few times to save $$ we also switched CC and transfered the balance over, but only on the offers that had like 1.97% interest on balance transfers for 6 months to 1 year. It saved us loads of interest charges...

Another thing we did, which might sound silly, but works amazingly well is to save your toonies!!! We started to carry cash, and now when we get a toonie in change, we put it aside & put it in a savings jar at home. We can easily save about $500/year or more if we are really trying. We paid for our honeymoon that way. In 3 months we had saved almost $400 and went on a nice trip through the Kootenays in BC for 4 days.

HUGS again! I know its hard, but getting out of debt CAN be done! I hope you can come to a solution that makes all of you happy!!

[Becca Bonneville]

Aww Shannon!! ((Big Hugs)) I am sorry that you are faced with a difficult choice like this! I know how hard times can be (believe me I realllly know). And as hard as it may be, we do have to believe there is a reason and you will see your light at the end of the tunnel. I will keep you in my thoughts girl!

[kscwgirl]

((((((((((((Shannon))))))))))))) I have no advice honey, just hugs.

[MikkelPaige]

Hugs Shannon. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

I remember when my parents told us (when we were in high school) they'd have to sell our house, which we grew up in, to make ends meet and pay off some debt. We were devistated.

But remember, a house is just a "thing" and luckily you have love in your life, which many people are not fortunate enough to have! And your family seems upset and perhaps unsupportive because they CARE.

And remember - there's always people/someone in the world who are worse off than you...

HUGS

[AmyM]

Originally Posted by Shawna Clingerman

Can I just say - you are my hero - I can only imagine how hard it is to sell a home you love, but if it is what is best for your family than you are a serious hero for doing it!

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow - I hope everything seems much more clear after you speak to the realtor.

Big hugs!

Shawna took the words right out of my mouth!

Whenever I go into freak out mode I have to slow down and simplify the situation. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but try and hold on to the fact that you've got your family and your health. With those two, you can always make it somehow someway. You're gonna get through this. One day at a time it will get better (((HUGS)))

[my3hens]

Oh honey im so sorry that you are havign to deal with all this. I know how tight the economy is to begin with. I am also sorry you aren't getting teh support you so deserve! Big hugs and hang in there. You are such a strong brave woman an obviously a fabulous mom because you know whats best for your family. I can only imagine how stressful it must be to let go of your dream home! Hang in there honey!!

[DogwoodMama]

Oh ((((hugs)))) I can soooo identify with your stress, though our situations are different!

We moved from Michigan for many reasons- the economy there is tanking, dh was NOT getting raises so he needed a different job (no one was getting a raise, not just him.) We were at what dh refers to as the "tipping point" between paying our bills without worry and going into negative... like we could pay our bills but not buy new clothes, lol.

So, we moved to NC when dh got offered a higher-paying job here, the cost of living is lower. This is where our family is and where we grew up too. Techinically we should be better off financially than EVER before but we still haven't sold our old house. So we're under a lot financial stress in the short term though once we sell we'll be good. So I would say that if you are able to move AND sell your house for a profit, that is just awesome! That has been the stressor for us... and also the fact that dh's job is just a job and he really wants to change fields but might have to take a pay cut which I would NOT be OK with.

[rainydays]

I truely want to thank you all for the support...(crying) its so nice to hear advice and what others think of the situation without being judged or told that this is "the easy way out"

I checked out the website for Dave, and I am going to go look for the book.

The house is listed...its scares the crap out of me, cause we already have viewings booked and we honest to God have no Plan.....I think we will be moving back to Alberta....With the sale of the house, we stand to gain a HUGE profit....most of it will go to paying off debt and the rest will have to get us into a new home....time will tell I guess. DH asked his current boss if he could get a guarantee (because hes a mechanic, they never get paid the same) his boss told him today at lunch that he thought he was making plenty of money....what a load! So I think DH is leaning towards the other job...

thanks again...for everything!

[Paula]

I am so sorry that you're going through this. I would suggest that you put the numbers in for staying there vs. moving. It sounds like they really want your DH in Alberta which could mean better things for you all.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult decision process.

[~Julie~]

{{hugs}} Im sorry you have to make this decision.. It must be super hard for you

[scrapmonkey]

Sorry for everything you're going through on this. Moving is never an easy option, especially when family is involved. And the job situation, ugh, 'nuff said. We moved to Ohio for my job several years ago, without hubby having a job to go to and virtually no moving expense. But we knew it was the right move as it brought us closer to my family and to a reasonably priced region of the country (my other opportunities were in the Northeast where the cost of housing is more than twice what it is here). But he has only had a job for 1 1/2 years in the last 5 1/2 years, so we still are watching the pennies. It's been frustrating and it hasn't been easy, but we still know that it was a better decision. Hopefully you will end up in a better position financially and emotionally than the alternatives when all is said and done, as we did.

[lizzyfizzy]

i'm off to kick the financial "gods" in the face for you! that is crap. i promise you that it will get better, just keep doing what you can and eat in more. HUGS!!!

[ashleyprugh]

i've got my fingers crossed for you, shannon. {hugs}
everything happens for a reason. or at least, that's what i believe.
you'll get through this. and in the end, maybe you'll find a better house?

[Shawna Clingerman]

I'm glad to hear the meeting with the realtor went well - i was just checking in to check on you!

I have to second (third/fourth whatever) the Dave Ramsey thing - his plan saved our lives finacially too - and we are in such a better place now! It is nice to be in a place where we have much less $$ stress and a plan and a vision for the future.

Hugs!!!

[rainydays]

our house just sold..... .....
yikes...we have 3 weeks to pack up and move to....we don't even know where we are going!!!!!

[Penny Springmann]

Wow! That was fast! Good Luck!

[rainydays]

no kidding! I think I am still in shock!
Things are going to be fine...we just need to find a place to live! I need to think positively about all of this and maybe things will turn around for us!

[KristinCB]

move here to bc.. lol.. does your hubby like to drive big trucks?

[lizzyfizzy]

Originally Posted by rainydays

our house just sold..... .....
yikes...we have 3 weeks to pack up and move to....we don't even know where we are going!!!!!

that is great!!! good luck with everything else...how are you doing?

[tuneskids]

Originally Posted by KristinCB

move here to bc.. lol.. does your hubby like to drive big trucks?

I agree! There is work here if you want work!! hehehee Kristin and I can tell you how beautiful it is down here where we are!

[lhaslem]

Wow Shannon - that was fast...and maybe a sign that this is the right thing to do. I hope everything works out for you and your family!

[ashleyprugh]

{{hugs}}

you'll find somewhere! i'm praying for you, shannon.

[meems]

wow, you didn't waste any time. But really that is good I think. Stressing over selling wouldn't be fun. So congrats on selling your house! Good luck with your move.

[Joan]

Wow, talk about fast! Well, sometimes decisions are less painful when you've just got to act and get things done, so maybe this is for the better. I know the next little while is going to be insane, but hang in there, good things will come!