Words of Wisdom...

[Rae's World]

I really need some. I love scrapbooking. my kids love taking out older book and looking at all the LO's. I love looking at them. well i noticed that there are no pictures of me. Oh, well there is that one where I am holding a new born baby. Or occasionally a Christmas family picture. But over all nothin'! Over 12yrs of marriage, 4 kids later and you rarely see me in a picture. Yes, of course I hate having my picture taken. But I am starting to feel extreme guilt over this. I hate looking back at my childhood pictures and not seeing my mom. I know she was/is self conscience of her self, hence the reason for not photos. That is obviously my reason too.

So my question is how do I get over this. What kinds of things can I tell my self, besides the obvious, that will get more pictures of me. I honestly know that I look horrible in pictures. But I need to take more so my kids, grandkids, great and so on can "see" me.

Ok, hit me with your best shot! I need some words of wisdom. Thanks!

[scrapperjade]

I don't know if this is a good suggestion or a feasable one for you, but I would totally book an appointment for having my photos taken. Get all done up, hair & makeup and go for a family photoshoot. Or have a friend who is photographically talented take your pictures.

Not only do they have an eye for good shots, a good one can also make you feel comfortable & confident in front of the camera. I am also one who HATES having my photo taken, pretty much any of me that DH takes are awful. But when its a photographer (pro or not) behind the camera, I feel a lot less shy & I always end up with nice shots of myself that I actually like.

THEN after that, I find my photos at home improve too. Kind of like getting a boost, and I know that I'm cute and whatever.

[amandabarugh]

I have this same problem, except my reason is that I'm the one behind the camera. So, I'm unfortunately no help.

Maybe you should start by telling yourself that you want to your kids to have those memories of you. Think about that the next time it's your turn to be the subject of the photo.

[rach3975]

My mother and I both struggle with this since we hate how we look in photos. But someone my mother knows lost her mother, and only afterward did they realize there were NO photos of her because she always refused to be in them. Her (grown) children were devastated to realize that they had no pictures of her, and since then my mother and I have both tried to be more open about being in pictures.

A few suggestions that have worked for me:
-Before any occassion where there are likely to be people with cameras, I take extra time getting ready. I still may not love the photos, but at least they're me at my best, with hair and makeup done.

-I'm the photographer most of the time. I can get DH to shoot a few with me in them, but no way is he going to take 15 or more until he gets a decent one of me. So I've experimented with a few places in the house that I can prop the camera and set the self timer. I found one spot that's just the right height. Every once in a while I'll do a photo session of myself that way. I may only get 1 or 2 photos I tolerate and scrap, but no one runs out of patience in the attempt! My kids are still little, so sometimes I'll pull them into a few shots with me.

-The self timer is also a good way to try a few outfits, hairstyles, and poses to see what photographs best. Then you can put that knowledge to use when someone else is going to be taking your photo.

-I let people take pictures with my camera. Then if any are truly awful, I'm in control of them and can delete. But I exercise some willpower and won't let myself delete them all, only the couple that really horrify me.

-I stage some photos where I'm in the background interacting with my kids, or even just have them standing in front of me. That way I'm in the photo but not the center of attention.

Good luck getting more comfortable in front of the camera!

[nesser1981]

I always make Sean take pictures of me with the kids. If he has the camera he will without being asked to.

[lauren grier]

see this layout do it. seriously. every day.. I'm not kidding. LOL I tell everyone to do it I went from garh I hate the world, I hate me, I suck at everything... to seriously growing in confidence over the past few months (ok ok.. I had some help.. but seriously, the mind frame has to be there.... and then presto one day you look in the mirror and say.. dude.. I am hot shizz.. and you take lots of pics of yerself LOL... I think I may have gone overboard in that department.. but it's good for you :] )

/end cheesy post.

[jessica31876]

The saying that comes to mind to me is:

Those who matter wont mind and those who mind dont matter.

The reason I say this to you is the people who want/need those photos of you wont notice the flaws you are picking up on youself which are keeping you out of those photos. Those who would notice are not the ones who will want to have those photos of you so they shouldnt matter. Take those photos now while you still can for yourself and for your loved ones and learn to laugh about the goofy shots and those shots which are less then perfect because life would be really boring if it was perfect and I think the same thing applies to our photos of loved ones. We need those goofy photos as well as the perfectly posed ones to make it fun :-)

[clearskies]

Hee, hee. I Photoshop. I have white teeth, no zits and no crazy flyaway hairs. The perfect way to be remembered.

I have to actually tell my DH, get the camera and take pictures of us (DS & I) otherwise, there'd be none of me either.

[pbumbaca]

I'm no help, I hate having my picture taken and I figure my kids will remember me for being the pita behind the camera! LOL!

[Stacey42]

I don't know how old your kids are but giving mine the camera really helped. I started letting DS1 use my old point & shoot under supervision when he was 4. I just told him to take photos of what he thought interested or really liked. He's six now & I give it to him every few weeks or he asks for it himself now and so does DS2, who is almost 5.

There are so many pictures of me at what I consider my 'fat angle' (which is being shot in an upward direction instead of straight on), but he loves them. "There's you Mama!!!" It's really helped me come to terms with my thoughts on how i look

[lizzyfizzy]

there are very very few photos of myself between the time i had my first child and 6 years after that and i REALLY REALLY regret it too! one day it just clicked that i may never be perfectly happy with the way i look in front of the camera but that shouldn't take away from the memories i want my family to have captured of me. that's what changed for me. who cares if you don't look or feel your best. your family deserves to be able to look back at the photos and remember you too!!

HUGS!! i know the feeling.

[ColleenSwerb]

Just. Freaking. Do. It.

Digital camera means endless time and space (within reason) to take a TON of pictures of yourself. Self timer means you can do it privately without feeling awkward about having your picture taken.

Like Jess said, those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter. Your family LOVES YOU for who you are every single second. Don't let your own hangups get in the way of preserving your own memory for those you love!

[heatherdumas]

I also let my kids take pictures. It is amazing to see yourself from thier viewpoint. My oldest daughter takes some reall good ones. My husband gets a lot of boob in his shots. My 5 years olds like it when I am on the floor playing. But it is good to see yourself through thier eyes. They love you, and it comes through.

And let's be honest, don't we all wish we had a picture of "that time." You know, that time we got cake in our hair...that time we fell down in the snow... that time he pushed us in the pool? It isn't about how perfect we are, it is about how good life is to us.

There are days when I like my hair or my makeup is just right. On those days I whip out the tripod and go for it! I am in no way vane. But I do have good face days. So, when you are feeling good about yourself, in any way, take a picture. When you feel positive it shows.

That's all I've got!

[DawnMarch]

I don't mean this harshly, but this is what I tell myself: "GET OVER YOURSELF". My kids do not care if I need to lose 15 pounds or if my hair looks bad or whatever. I mean, if you had one kid who was much better looking than the other, would you only take pictures of the good looking one because you like the way one looks in photos more!??? Of course not! Pictures are not about always looking good, they are about preserving memories -- and you are a key part of your families memories. I used to hate to have my picture taken, but when something is going on in our family, I literally say in my head "GET OVER YOURSELF" and I hand the camera to my husband. Yes, I often hate the way I look in those photos, but I still love the photos and I scrap them all the time.

[stayawake]

If you can afford it... go to a professional portrait photographer and have a photoshoot done - tell them you want to feel beautiful. Seeing some fabulous pictures of yourself at your best, at least you will have those and your family will always be able to have them (or at least a photo of your whole family together with you in it!). I say this not to sound morbid, but to speak the truth... my mom died when I was 10 and was in very few photos in our photo albums, what we do have is a series of shots from a photo shoot she had done on her 35th birthday. And even though I'm sure she didn't feel her best without those, I'm not sure I would have a photo to remember what she looked like...

[sammi]

Originally Posted by Rae's World

I really need some. I love scrapbooking. my kids love taking out older book and looking at all the LO's. I love looking at them. well i noticed that there are no pictures of me. Oh, well there is that one where I am holding a new born baby. Or occasionally a Christmas family picture. But over all nothin'! Over 12yrs of marriage, 4 kids later and you rarely see me in a picture. Yes, of course I hate having my picture taken. But I am starting to feel extreme guilt over this. I hate looking back at my childhood pictures and not seeing my mom. I know she was/is self conscience of her self, hence the reason for not photos. That is obviously my reason too.

So my question is how do I get over this. What kinds of things can I tell my self, besides the obvious, that will get more pictures of me. I honestly know that I look horrible in pictures. But I need to take more so my kids, grandkids, great and so on can "see" me.

Ok, hit me with your best shot! I need some words of wisdom. Thanks!

I think just making an extra effort when you are all out as a family to bring the camera and make sure someone is taking some of you.
My mom was just diagnosed with emphysema and her health over all is so awful. I maybe have one or two photos of her and maybe one when I was little. Looking at all the photos I have of me one good one and the rest just a little here and there. I need to get over my fear of the camera too.

[sammi]

Originally Posted by DawnMarch

I don't mean this harshly, but this is what I tell myself: "GET OVER YOURSELF". My kids do not care if I need to lose 15 pounds or if my hair looks bad or whatever. I mean, if you had one kid who was much better looking than the other, would you only take pictures of the good looking one because you like the way one looks in photos more!??? Of course not! Pictures are not about always looking good, they are about preserving memories -- and you are a key part of your families memories. I used to hate to have my picture taken, but when something is going on in our family, I literally say in my head "GET OVER YOURSELF" and I hand the camera to my husband. Yes, I often hate the way I look in those photos, but I still love the photos and I scrap them all the time.

Well said!

[kscwgirl]

Originally Posted by DawnMarch

I don't mean this harshly, but this is what I tell myself: "GET OVER YOURSELF". My kids do not care if I need to lose 15 pounds or if my hair looks bad or whatever. I mean, if you had one kid who was much better looking than the other, would you only take pictures of the good looking one because you like the way one looks in photos more!??? Of course not! Pictures are not about always looking good, they are about preserving memories -- and you are a key part of your families memories. I used to hate to have my picture taken, but when something is going on in our family, I literally say in my head "GET OVER YOURSELF" and I hand the camera to my husband. Yes, I often hate the way I look in those photos, but I still love the photos and I scrap them all the time.

yes this.

[switchwiz]

all you mom's need to get over not liking to have have your picture taken-I recently lost my mom and I do have a few photos of her when she was younger and some of her with me and my sister-That's what the kids are going to want to see when they get older and look at the albums--they want to see the people they love and who love them as much as themselves! And they won't really care that you didn't like having your picture taken. They'll just see their Mom who they love and how she looked as they grew up.....Something I always try and do at family or friend get-togethers---USE THE AUTO TIMER on the camera....it works wonderfully for getting everyone in a photo

[cheltzey]

Be goofy! Ham it up! Pose! Honestly, if you look like you're having a good time, you'll like your pictures a lot more than if it looks like you're having teeth pulled. Case in point: my aunt Kris is always, saying "I don't do pictures," and she's right. She looks MISERABLE and grouchy in every picture I've seen of her. But it's because she decided she doesn't do pictures. I, on the other hand, used to hide from the camera, but now I've decided to embrace it and SMILE. When we were in NY just a few weeks ago, DH kept taking pictures of me, so I decided to practice being Marilyn. People were laughing as they walked past us, so I know I looked ridiculous, but I love those photos!





So, basically, get over yourself and have fun!

[Rae's World]

Thanks everyone! I read many words of wisdom! I think I will try and "get over myself" and remember "that those that matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter."

I really like the idea of my kids taking pictures of me. I have never thought of that. I am so nervous my kids will break the camera that i rarely let them touch it.

So again thank you for all your ideas!

[CA Dreamer]

I totally know how you feel. My DH and I have gotten over this by looking at old pics.... what we found out is that when we look back on pics of us--- that at the time, we thought were simply awful, we almost always feel like, "Wow, we looked younger then!". I will be 45 this year and can appreciate the smoother skinned, shinier haired, younger, versions of myself! That being said, I am always the one TAKING the pics, so I am not in many either!

And you will definitely want pics of yourself with the ones you love. My mom has only a couple of pics of her with my grandmother. She died at 49 of an aneurysm.

I would pose with the self timer (or a friend)and find out what poses are most flattering for you--find out your 'good side' and maybe how to hold your head/shoulders. You will feel more confident when people take your pics and it will show! Good luck! And, here's to getting mom in the pics this year!!

[Robin Carlton]

Just DO it!

I had the same revelation when I was showing Manda photos of our 2007 Disneyworld vacation! We got all the way through every day and she said "where are you?" and you know, I didnt have any photos to show her and it hit me that that was just really, really sad.

Like you, I hate being in pics but I decided that I had to get the frick over it because I dont want to be this big blank in our photo albums. So... this year I have quite a few pics of the kids and I on vacation and I just love them and I know they love them too.

Dont overthink it... just relax, smile and let people take photos of you - the more the better too - the more you have, the easier it is to find ones you really like

R