Let's say...

[adrianka]

...I'm not having the best of days. Nothing special, I just feel overwhelmed.

Two weeks to go until I leave for Luxembourg and I feel like there's still so much to do and I can never make it. And I'm asking myself what I've been doing in Slovakia since Easter if there are still things left undone?

So I'm sitting and panicking - cool way of doing thing, right?

If you have some hugs to spare, I'll be glad to receive them.

[jacinda]

I've got a hug for you Adrianka. I bet everything that NEEDS to get done WILL get done in time. Worrying about it won't make it happen any faster. Make a list and work your way through it, ensuring you do the top priority stuff first. It'll all be fine, I'm sure. Now go have a really yummy coffee and say to yourself "What will be will be"

[adrianka]

Originally Posted by jacinda

I've got a hug for you Adrianka. I bet everything that NEEDS to get done WILL get done in time. Worrying about it won't make it happen any faster. Make a list and work your way through it, ensuring you do the top priority stuff first. It'll all be fine, I'm sure. Now go have a really yummy coffee and say to yourself "What will be will be"

Thank you! Am drinking coffee right now. :-)

I know that this isn't the end of the world, it's just today is my panicky day... I've had a list from the start (with so many things to solve one needs one) and I've just gone though it. It's not as bad as it looks to me right now, it can be done. And I've already eliminated stuff that isn't top important, because the point of this leave wasn't to make me and Mum wasted, but to make her environment prettier. And I've done a lot, it's just that, as always, I feel I could have done more. One of those days where you are under pressure of your own making. *shakes head*

Of course, there's the added element of guilt - I'm going to Lux and leaving Mum here alone. One of the downsides of living abroad. I want to stay in Lux, it's my life and I like it there, but I'm sad that Mum is alone here. On the other hand, I would never want to live with her if I was here (she lived with Grandma all her life and it left her wasted) and I couldn't even afford to help her if I didn't have my job in Lux. And she can't come to Lux, because an unknown environment would aggravate her disease.

[pomi]

Big hug, Adri. Your situation isn't easy at all and you have all rights to feel all the ways you feel. What Jacinda wrote "What will be will be" - sometimes one just has to let the things happen.

And with the pressure that you are making on yourself - perhaps it's something in the air, I have it too for today. But I think I can suspect PMS.
Just that you can imagine, an hour ago I decided to pluck my eyebrows, while I was cooking lunch, answering a question of my DH about a card payment I made a week ago and managing my two DDs and a neighbour's daughter at play. How to make yourself a wreck in just ten minutes using four simple things.

[cardinalskate]

Sorry you're feeling overwhelmed! I totally agree...what HAS to be done will get done. {{hugs}}

[adrianka]

Originally Posted by pomi

And with the pressure that you are making on yourself - perhaps it's something in the air, I have it too for today. But I think I can suspect PMS.

The usual suspect. :-) It actually plays a part in my story, too, as in a week it should be so far, and I usually start feeling irritated / self-pitying / crying a week in advance.

Anyway, I told myself at the beginning of this leave that I would do most things in the beginning and not postpone them, which I tried - but it just turns out the last works will be done like two days before I leave, which really doesn't give me or Mum some time off. That gives me a guilty ride, as I feel we haven't really gone anywhere, just stuck in the flat all the time.

And I know people who can function in the "I'm always doing things" mode, while I always need my off time. I'm certain those tireless ones would have managed better, even though I didn't manage so bad.

I think PMS definitely has its hand in this!

[emmasmommy]

big hugs adrianka. i can't even imagine

[heathergw]

(((HUGS))) Adrianka!!!!

[Keely~B]

I wish I had some magic words, your situation is so difficult. Big hugs and good thoughts Adrianka.

[adrianka]

Thank you, gals.

I think it's pretty clear I'm having an anxiety episode (caused by self-imposed pressure I guess), so I decided nothing won't be done today and no guilt will be felt over it. Mum sent me off to bed, and I've just got up, feeling slightly better. I just can't think in terms of "what I should be doing" today. And I'm definitely watching a Turkish romance soap opera tonight, great stuff if you feel brainless. :-)

Tomorrow is another day, right?

[pomi]

Amen!

[deepounds]

Lots of great big hugs, Adrianka! And don't be so hard on yourself - all you can do is the best you can do!

[AmyG]

Aww, Relax for a bit and then tackle the list fresh. Brainless TV can do wonders for you