this is what i wonder about...

[emmasmommy]

when left to my own devices LOL

totally NSBR

i was sitting here wondering, do you have a lot of friends that you've met through your children's school? i live in a super, small town (like 2000 ppl) and i pretty much know everyone that is in emma's class. i have however made friends with one other mom that i didn't know before emma was in school. i really like her, but i don't really see me being friends with any of the others. i mean, i know time will only tell, but i'm curious how the rest of you interract lol

[maryinaz]

Before my kids started school, I pretty much only had work friends. When Grant (my oldest) was in Kindergarten, I was pregnant with the twins so I was super busy for a few years. Once Wyatt entered Kindergarten, I met a TON of mothers. We went for coffee at a bagel place once a week and just brought all our little ones along with us. About 10 of them are still my very good friends that I interact with on a daily basis - we do lunch, happy hours, have parties together, etc. and most live in my neighborhood. Our kids started out as friends who played together all the time, but now they are juniors in high school and most have grown apart.

I also have another group of friends who are moms of Grant's friends, and another set who are moms of the twins' friends. There is overlap of moms in all of those.

Since I didn't grow up here, friends from work and school are about all I have had.

[mummytothree]

I only have one mom that I "talk" with and it's only at school functions. I don't make friends easily...I'm very picky and most people bug the crap out of me and I just don't want to deal with them. I think it was/is because of several factors:

1. I don't like drama...and as soon as you walk into a school situation where there are lots of woman all they want to do is talk about everyone else.

2. I always seem to be different ages then everyone else. With my oldest I was that really young mom (even though I was 24 when I had here). With DD #2 I was probably the closest in ages with the other moms in her class and that is where I met the one mom I can "connect with". With my oldest DS I'm the old mom and it's going to be the same with DS's # 4 & 5. I mean when DS #5 enters kindergarten I'll have a Senior in high school!!!!

3. For some reason (around where I live) I'm thought down upon because of the size of our family. I swear I can't walk into my kid's school without SOMEONE making a comment about our # of kids!!!

4. People annoy the crap outta me!!

[Nikki Epperson]

Originally Posted by mummytothree

4. People annoy the crap outta me!!

Totally me.

[nun69]

I am not firends with any of my kids school mates parents....I don't go to alot of school functions and when I do, I pretty much stay to myself. I like the friends I have {even though all oftheir children are grown} and they love my kids, so it works out both ways....and I am like Elizabeth, I will have a sophmore in COLLEGE when my youngest starts kindergarten this fall LOL...Heck I don't really even know my neighbors and I have been living her for 18 months...I like it that way

[MamaBee]

Well, kiddo isn't in school yet... and he will be homeschooled... haha... but I've meet some moms through J's sunday school and swimming classes, etc. I'm so incredibly shy that I'm sure I put off an air of unfriendliness that no one talks to me. There is one mom, who's son was in J's Sunday School last year (there are like five four year old ss classes...) and is J's teacher this year that I think we could be friends... but I don't know how to make that happen... apparently I forgot how to make friends...

[Tracyfish]

I am friendly with the other moms of L.J.'s classmates, but only "friends" outside of school with one of them. Our kids started playing together at PTO functions last year after we both joined and they get along well together. This year they are in the same class and we do a lot of playdates and dinners with them outside of school.

[pewtertm]

I made friends with 2 of the moms from Rachel's class last school year.

There's a big city park across from Rachel's elementary school (about 330 kids, pre-k thru 3rd grade), and we'd gone to feed the ducks after class. Two other girls from her class were over there with their moms, and we wound up staying over there and talking for about 2 hours while the girls all played on the playground.
One in particular...kind of had to laugh...after we visited that day, I was thinking, 'dang she looked familiar.' As it turned out, she used to be in my ladies class at church. And still is, when she isn't working We've become very good friends, and since she lives about a block-and-a-half away, the girls play together a lot.

Other than those two, I've mainly connected with her teachers...they are both scrapbookers, active in their churches, and since I'm a former teacher, we have a lot in common.

[emmasmommy]

i should add that i did grow up here...so i know of a lot of them, but choose not to be friends with them LOL

i say it all the time, but, i don't generally like women

[MommaTrish]

I'm roughly 10 years younger than most of the moms in the boys' classes, so nope, no friends there. Actually most of the older ones want nothing to do with me, I'm hoping for better parent success when Bella (probably more like Mason) is in school.

To be brutally honest, most of the boys' friends' moms are somewhere between me and my mom in age - slightly closer to her age - and are more friends with her than me.

It's a rather large sore spot for me...

[Giseli Freitas]

I made some really good friends w/ 3 moms from DD's class in Brazil: we often took the kids to the movies, parks, parties, etc. together. We still talk almost every week through the Skype and almost daily via e-mail,chat, phone... I know another bunch of moms from DD's class in Brazil, but we're not "friends". I talk to them via internet sometimes.
Here in Canada, I met a mom from DD's school. I took DD outside to play at the park and a mom introduced herself to me. I thought it was very nice of her. She was there with her two kids and her son is a DD's classmate. She gave me some tips about the neighbourhood and activities for the kids. But I didn't see her after that anymore.

[kscwgirl]

No.. mainly b/c we dont' live in the area where they go to school so it's rather difficult.

[nikkiARNGwife]

I'd say I'm friendly with them but not really "friends" with any. My thing is they all seem so young! I mean I'm 37 and I think the average age of the moms in his class is probably 25. I just feel like the old lady whenever I'm around them lol.

[MommaTrish]

Nikki we should switch places. lol

[nikkiARNGwife]

Originally Posted by MommaTrish

Nikki we should switch places. lol

For real lol...and another thing about the moms at Avery's school is he goes to a VERY small private Christian school and so most of the moms went to school there together..so they are already friends from growing up together. I went to the public schools so I'm a double outsider

[rach3975]

Not really. I'm very reserved with new people, and I don't spend enough time with the other moms to become friends with them. Since moving away from all the friends I made in school I've had a very hard time making friends. I don't get to spend much time with other adults. Even when I worked there was too much turnover to make and keep good friends.

I don't really get to know any of the mothers at the elementary school. They're not there when I am, and the few kids my two are close to I just haven't clicked with the moms.

In the past I've been pretty friendly (though not close friends) with the moms at my kids' preschool; I see them more since we all have to go in for drop off and pick up and parents are still invited to the birthday parties. But the group of moms I've been with for 4 years (while DS1 and then DS2 went through school) don't have younger kids at the school anymore, so we've lost touch with each other. I'm starting over with DD's class, but even though I'm the same age as many of the moms (I'm 36) they're at a different stage. Most of them have younger kids and are having playgroups together while the 3 year olds are in school. So I don't think I'll make any good friends from that class.

[Jengerbread88]

When I was in kindergarten, I had a crush on a boy. My mom chatted with his mom, and they hit it off pretty decently. Not long after that, my mom and I went out of town with my grandma, and, while away, ran into this family. They were staying at the hotel next door to ours, and we even were both seeing the same show while we were visiting there (Branson- filled with shows!), so we decided to all go together. They hit it off more, and to this day, they're best friends (even though the boy and I don't talk at ALL!)
But, they had a TON in common (both ran in-home daycares, both were married to men in law enforcement...)

Now, with the moms in Jeffrey's class (before we started homeschooling), we've kind of made a friend, both of us, but it's not the same... with the friend she made when I was in school, they are inseparable- they talk every day. With this newer friend, they sit near each other at activities both boys are in together, and she invited us to her cookie exchange. We also went to church together, so... we kind of are close, but not close close, if that makes sense...

[emmasmommy]

it does jenni. that's how i am with a lot of people in my daughter's class. they're acquaintances, but i wouldn't classify them as friends.

[Lyd]

Only one. And, I haven't seen much of her at all this school year because I've been a hermit with the new baby. But, we have talked on the phone a few times and chatted on FB. We're not the kind of friends that are going to go hang out together on the weekends. But, our kids have been in preschool and Kindy together and they've been on the same soccer team. So, when I see her we chat. I like her a lot and our families are very similar, but we're both pretty busy with our young families, so we aren't very "social" with each other.

Other than that . . . not really. I'm quite a bit older than most of the moms around here. Being 38 with your oldest in 1st grade is VERY unusually in the community I come from. Most of the moms are at least 10 years younger than me. And, I'm in the "people bug me" camp too. It takes a while to really get to know me.

[LeeAndra]

I can't answer this question since DD is not in school yet, but I think I feel halfelieved that y'all have trouble making friends, too, and half-disappointed that I won't make a bosom friend when DD goes off to preschool in the fall like I'd hoped.

[AmberK]

I wish I had more friends but it's so hard to start a new friendship. I don't really want to let anybody else in my inner circle who doesnt already know all of the sorted details of what happened with the twins, my depression, etc, etc. There are 2 moms that Im friendly with from Drew's kinder class and even though the boys aren't in the same class this year they are in the same cub scout den so the boys hang out. But I dont go over to the house with Drew for his playdate and just chat it up with the other moms.

I have a group of friends from preschool where I work and they do know about Colin and other things but we still really dont hang out too much. We will have a monthly girls night or something but I dont just call them up when Im having a bad day or a fight with hubby. I call my mom for that.

[lovely1m]

Nicholas isn't in school yet, but starts this fall. I doubt I will make friends with anyone. lol

[pewtertm]

Originally Posted by ltarbox

Being 38 with your oldest in 1st grade is VERY unusually in the community I come from. Most of the moms are at least 10 years younger than me. And, I'm in the "people bug me" camp too. It takes a while to really get to know me.

Heehee, I can SOOOO identify with that! We're almost-41 and almost-59 with a kindergartener! Thankfully there are a good number of older parents and grandparents in our little school...but yeah, I definitely feel like the old one at a lot of school functions.

[TheHybridMess]

I've have one friend from DD's preschool (our DD's both turn 13 this year) and one from Sunday School when mine was 6. Other than that I am as friendly with a few of DD's current friends' parents but none I would call my friend. There are one or two who I can see as my friend but I also have trouble making friends.

[Lindsay]

Good to know that I'm not alone when I say...I don't really have "friends." Most people who know me say I'm sweet and friendly, and I like people, but it takes me a long while to get used to new people. I've found with groups of women that it gets very cliquey and they seem to want to talk about other moms in the neighborhood/school/etc. That is just not my thing!

I would much rather hang out online and chat with people I've met through message boards....back to my antisocial corner, now!

[AmberK]

As the saying goes "I love my computer. All of my friends live in it!"

[Kjersti]

I met my two best friends when Elyse was in Kindergarten. Our three girls are best friends too. They are now in 6th grade!!!

I'm not close friends with any mom's in my daugher Faiths' class - I'm a loser and haven't made any effort.

[kim21673]

I have a good photography friend that I met through my oldest DS, Aaron. Even though the kids have graduated we still chat. I have met some really good friends through story time at the library as well. This is Jason's first year of school and I have met some of the moms and get along great with a few of them...others I have never talked to. I can totally see us hanging out as a family....

With Aaron...we were by far the youngest parents and with the other boys we are one of the oldest but still within the "range".

When we moved here we knew NO ONE. I was pretty depressed b/c all my friends and family lived downstate. We started meeting neighbors and got along great with them....but we just moved. If it weren't for other parents I would go bonkers!!!

[CA Dreamer]

My boys are 5 years apart and I can say that the moms in each of my sons' classes are different. I am close to many moms (the moms of boys and girl classmates) from my older son's classes and consider them friends - we play bunco, go out and many of our DH's like eachother too, which is a bonus. The families with my younger DS are all nice and I like them, but don't really socialize with more than one or two.

[ZaCola3]

This is an odd subject for me because I often think I'm odd for NOT making friends with the parents of my kids friends...
I think the biggest part of the issue for us is that up until Landen, Scott and I are at least 10 years if not more younger than most of the parents of Zak and Connor's classmates. I mean we had nothing in common with them-they were like "old". As we age and now that Landen has started school I look at the parents and think..."ummm nope-I've got the friend thing covered, I don't need anymore" Plus I have somehow in the last 7 months turned into a total homebody...I'm happy being home with the people I live with.

[rach3975]

It makes me feel better to see that so many of you have trouble making friends as adults, too. Through school and college I had plenty of friends, but since becoming a SAHM I've never adapted to how to make friends with people you only see a few minutes a week.

It also doesn't help that our elementary school is so big. I love the teachers and the school in general, but there are 4-5 classes per grade. Since there are only 5 or 6 kids each year that were in the same class the year before, my kids' friends change yearly and the moms I see at class parties change, too.

[marnel]

Originally Posted by mummytothree

1. I don't like drama...and as soon as you walk into a school situation where there are lots of woman all they want to do is talk about everyone else.

2. I always seem to be different ages then everyone else. With my oldest I was that really young mom (even though I was 24 when I had here). With DD #2 I was probably the closest in ages with the other moms in her class and that is where I met the one mom I can "connect with". With my oldest DS I'm the old mom and it's going to be the same with DS's # 4 & 5. I mean when DS #5 enters kindergarten I'll have a Senior in high school!!!!

3. For some reason (around where I live) I'm thought down upon because of the size of our family. I swear I can't walk into my kid's school without SOMEONE making a comment about our # of kids!!!

4. People annoy the crap outta me!!

You took the words out of my mouth, this is so me. I've seen so many mama's gossip about so and so and this and that. ummm don't wanna know and don't really care!

I have a Senior graduating this year and most moms gawk at me b/c I'm so young to have a 17yr old. The majority have a child in my younger children's classes so I see them they see me and I'm like ahhhh whatever. I smile and keep it moving.

[JulieB146]

All I can say is, I will be so happy when my youngest is finally out of elementary school. I wasn't able to connect with *any* of his classmates' parents. I tried. I tried PTA meetings when my daughter was in the school, and was in a committee for a while. And then I just quit. I like people, usually, but even when I try, it just doesn't happen. My son likes to invite school friends to his birthday party--and the last two times all their parents came, either I didn't know what to say to them or something, but they ignored me. I'm also a lousy host, I guess.

My neighbors & I have tried, too, numerous times, and I think this past year, we've just both given up on it. So, I mostly sit at home making connections on the computer.

[nonnie]

Originally Posted by ltarbox

Other than that . . . not really. I'm quite a bit older than most of the moms around here. Being 38 with your oldest in 1st grade is VERY unusually in the community I come from. Most of the moms are at least 10 years younger than me. And, I'm in the "people bug me" camp too. It takes a while to really get to know me.

Same here - plus living on a military base the drama is Off The Hook!!!! There are very few jobs for spouses here and the ones they do have max out at min. wage. So most (like 90%) of the wives do not work and are not the kind who want to be home, they are forced to be so they are bitter. There is a lot of negativity over here - it is a challenge, but they blow everything out of proportion.

It's so funny I love scaring the young ones away.... as soon as I say I have teenagers, they get this look of horror and wrap up the conversation. I think they are afraid the age will rub off on them! To most of the girls 30 scares them!!!

With that said because we are military - you have to make friends overseas and it does get 10 times harder the older you get. I am so lucky that we have so many that we have known at other bases that have "followed" us here. I have an amazing wonderful awesome close group of girlfriends here - most are prior military and none of whom have kids in Dylan's class.

[ryliesmom]

There's one of DD's friends that I'm friends with, but the girls haven't been as close this year and we haven't done much together. What we have done was always with the girls though. I guess I am kind of reserved about getting too close because at DD's age (8) her friends can come and go and that would make it tough to be very close to the mom too. She goes to a private school and some kids don't come back year after year or they live in different towns that can be many miles away making it hard to get together. I am friendly with all the moms. Most of us are at all the school functions and we get along together well.

As for DS, he's just in preschool. The only moms I know from his class are the ones who have older children DD's age.

[crecia27]

I've made more friends through my kids activities - baseball & Girl Scouts. Most of the people we do things with these days I never would have known if not for the kids! I have to work FT so I don't get to be at the school much - though I hear there is always lots of good drama up there so maybe it's ok I miss that

[HeatherKS]

Originally Posted by emmasmommy

i should add that i did grow up here...so i know of a lot of them, but choose not to be friends with them LOL

This made me chuckle because I can soooo relate. I live in the town that I grew up in and it's a town of about 2000 people also. Although I know most everyone, my closest friends are those who either are transplants to the town or ones that I didn't grow up with (as in was 5 years behind me in school). I'm friendly with several other moms in my kids' classes but that's about it. And actually, now that Callan is in school, I'm so much older than most of the other moms that I really don't have much in common with many of them. I'm perfectly content with my little group of close friends.

[ayaandjudah]

I'm struggling a bit with this one. Addison is in 1st grade and there already seems to be this HUGE clique of mothers who are friends and subsequently their kids are friends. We are not a part of this group and I am worried that Addison will suffer for it.

[maryinaz]

Originally Posted by ayaandjudah

I'm struggling a bit with this one. Addison is in 1st grade and there already seems to be this HUGE clique of mothers who are friends and subsequently their kids are friends. We are not a part of this group and I am worried that Addison will suffer for it.

It only takes one. With the group of friends I have which started with Kindergarten, we added friends every year as our kids were in different classes with different kids. We were still adding at 4th and 5th grade. So it only takes one mother who is friendly to invite you to join them.

[MommaTrish]

Originally Posted by ayaandjudah

I'm struggling a bit with this one. Addison is in 1st grade and there already seems to be this HUGE clique of mothers who are friends and subsequently their kids are friends. We are not a part of this group and I am worried that Addison will suffer for it.

I will admit... I don't like most of the moms. They're older than me and tend to be snobby to me, so I guess I'm not missing out on too much. But I sometimes wonder if the boys suffer from it too. Unless it's someone we go to church with they never get invited to anything outside of school, and after two years of failed birthday party attempts for Zach when he started school I just don't even try anymore. John runs into this a lot at Cub Scouts too. I think people do the math and just write us ((and consequently the boys)) off.

((told you this was a sore spot ))

Oh, and I think most of you run at about the 10 years older than me mark - especially those of you with kiddos around the boys' ages - so I think you should rethink your kids' classmates' parents' ages. I doubt the majority of the kids in your kids classes were born when their moms were 16/17.

[ayaandjudah]

I agree with so much of this. I am the youngest mother and I'm 35!!!!! Most of the mothers are 40 or older. I found one mom whose just a few years older and we did a playdate with the girls but it ended up a disaster.

Basically living in NYC, I don't dress nicely enough to be in the clique. I swear it's highschool all over again but this time my daughter suffers.

She has a few friends and we've reached out to a few families with positive results, so maybe we'll form our own groups.

Alisa

Originally Posted by MommaTrish

I will admit... I don't like most of the moms. They're older than me and tend to be snobby to me, so I guess I'm not missing out on too much. But I sometimes wonder if the boys suffer from it too. Unless it's someone we go to church with they never get invited to anything outside of school, and after two years of failed birthday party attempts for Zach when he started school I just don't even try anymore. John runs into this a lot at Cub Scouts too. I think people do the math and just write us ((and consequently the boys)) off.

((told you this was a sore spot ))

Oh, and I think most of you run at about the 10 years older than me mark - especially those of you with kiddos around the boys' ages - so I think you should rethink your kids' classmates' parents' ages. I doubt the majority of the kids in your kids classes were born when their moms were 16/17.

[clearskies]

We're military as well, and I have to make friends when we move... With no family around I have to have friends I can swap childcare with from time to time so I don't go crazy!

We're been at our current station 4 months now and while I don't have anyone I would consider a true 'friend' I have several prospective ones... Most I met through MOPS (I joined two groups) and one I met through DS's preschool.

So far I've made one incredible friend at each duty station and several great acquaintances...I'm happy with that.

[cardinalskate]

This is kinda a sore spot with me, too, because I just don't have many friends. Yep, a lot my friends live in my computer! I'm friendly with a lot of the moms, but we haven't gone farther than that. I'm so with you guys as far as the drama thing. I just don't do it. I've never been one for gossip, and that has me on the outs already with a lot of my co-workers...I don't need it from a group of moms. There is one mom who has shown interest with being friends with me...asking us to join in her daughter's gymnastics class. But this is the ONE mother, of all of them, that I've been avoiding. Both she and her dd are the biggest brats I've ever seen. Yes, this very young mother is a BRAT.

Right now, all the kids in the school district go to one Early Childhood Center. But when they start kinder, they'll go to their respective school areas, so some of these kids won't even end up in Kinder with Maylee. So I may try harder when she's at her established school. I'd like to have a friend and/or group of friends to hang with. I'm always jealous of that when I see it on TV LOL

[ariesfl326]

My friend's daughter is in Hannah's class and my friend is a teacher at the same school. Other than that, nope, not friends with other moms in her class. In my case I work an hour away from home/school so I drop her off and my mom or my grandmother pick her up each day. This doesn't leave much time for me to make friends. My daughter and I do have a "circle of friends" and these children are in some of the other fourth grade classes this year so there are friends per se, just not in her immediate class. There are a few moms that I've interacted with in her class but I also couldn't see myself being friends with them. On the flip side, however, one of my closest friends now started out that way, back when the kids were in Kindergarten. I couldn't really see myself being friends however, we both started volunteering in the classroom and got to know each other really well and started hanging out. Our two families now spend alot of time together and have alot in common. So you never know how it will work out.

[maggie965]

I really don't have many friends per se. I have some mothers I'll talk to like the moms of my kids best friends. But I don't go out and do things with them.