Eat it or starve? WWYD?

[Jennilyn]

Does anyone do this for their kids at meal time or do you actually make a separate meal that they will eat? I'm tired of putting food in front of the kids and them not eating very much of it but I don't want to make 2 meals every dinner time!

[BrattyMeg]

mine eat what I cook..or a sandwich

no exceptions..thankfully only 1 of my kids (son) is picky lol the rest eat anything. I refuse to cook 2 separate meals...I will make a sandwich but not another meal

[lauren grier]

lmao... I just told ce he could starve then He's been a pain in the butt with food lately. I give him two choices, don't want to eat.. fine. I'm not force feeding you.

[newfiemountiewife]

I don't cook two meals, but I make them a variation of whatever we're having. The kids don't like spaghetti sauce, so they eat the noodles and meat. They don't like fajitas so they have the rice and the chicken. It's no more trouble for me to do that, but I wish they would eat more. I'm going crazy over here.

[AddictedScrapper]

I normally will make them something and if they don't end up eating it then I try something else, but then if they don't eat that then too bad. My oldest is super picky while my youngest will just about anything so it's really hard to find something that my oldest will actually eat most of. It can get frustrating at times because I don't want him to starve but I figure if he's hungry he'll eat.

[Darcy Baldwin]

No two meals for us. They eat what's put in front of them, or nothing. However, I do k now when it's something they really don't like and I try to add at least one other dish to go along for everyone that I know the offended will like.

I know that serving any hot and spicy dish will make the little one go screaming to his room, so I do something bland for him to go along with the whole meal, or he gets a pb&j. But I will not make an extra meal.

[lizzyfizzy]

eat it or starve is my motto. i don't make anything too lavish that is often too strange for children. i'm not a cook to order chef and i refuse to let my children poke around at their plate, not eat and then ask for a snack a half hour later. not ok. try letting the kiddos help with the meal. i have found that when i know my kids may turn up their noses to a dish they never do when i let them play a role in the preperation and/or cooking. kids will almost ALWAYS eat what they helped make!

[Shawna]

Our rule is "You get what you get & you don't throw a fit", so they pretty much each whatever it is I fix. There are certain things I know aren't their favorite, so I only give them a very small serving so they can't complain too much!

[Paula]

I do ONE meal with my kids and they usually eat it. If they are hungry enough, they'll eat.

My mama always had to cook two meals one for us and one for my dad and I swore that I would NEVER do that and I haven't.

[mlewis]

I don't do two meals either. I mean, I don't purposely fix something I know they hate, but they can either eat what we're having or not eat. My Camden has chosen the "not eat" a couple of times, but usually he muddles through.

[Misty Cato]

My three year old has decided he is a vegetarian (shrimp and McD's nuggets are the only exception), so I try to make a meatless version of whatever we are having or make sure there is a substantial salad as a side dish. Aside from that it is eat it or starve. We just leave his dinner plate at the table when we are all done so that 30 minutes later when he asks for a snack we point to the table.

[ColleenSwerb]

Growing up it was whatever mom made, or we starved. And as we got older, we could make ourselves a sandwhich, but that was it.

I pray that our kids aren't as picky as Jordan is. I might divorce him and leave the kids with him if they are

[ditzyscrap]

Nope, we don't do separate meals, either. They eat what they're given, or they go to bed hungry.

I've learned with my daughter, though, who is 4...that I can't feed her lunch or she'll be picky with supper. So, she doesn't get lunch and will eat anything we put in front of her at supper because she's hungry. I know that sounds horrible, but I'm not starving her, lol...she does get breakfast (late) and a really big serving for supper. I do give her lunch some days, and it's just something small like a PB&J sandwich that is only 1 piece of bread folded in half.

[ditzyscrap]

On the other hand, lol...my brother and I were the exception to the rule that kids will eat anything if they're hungry enough. My mom would make things that my brother and I wouldn't eat, and we'd have to sit there at the table for HOURS, refusing to eat. Mom wouldn't let us have dessert or a bedtime snack, we'd go to bed hungry. But we never gave in, lol.

[Sarah8914]

Ugh, this is a challenge in our home. Apparently we eat a lot of meat (hamburger or mostly chicken) and my girls won't eat it. I think it's the texture or something. Sometimes I can easily adjust what we are having for them, or let them pick out the chicken pieces if they really don't want it, but sometimes I can't and I let them have something else.

We do the same thing as Misty though. If they won't eat then, when they are hungry later, the plate is still on the table.

[tuneskids]

for the past twelve years - anyone sitting at the table eats what has been prepared - one meal. No special orders or substitutions. lol

They have gone to bed hungry a few times, they are still alive. hehehee

[Julie Billingsley]

I won't battle on food. Too many other important things to take a stand on. LOL If I know that Logan doesn't like something, I'll make extra side dishes to go with it. Like he is not a huge fan of pot roast, so I'll do lots of carrots and potatoes and rolls. If all he eats is the veggies and bread, then I'm fine with that... but he gets a bit of everything on his plate. He is growing just fine and has actually started liking some things that were once hated.

I can say they really do outgrow it! My oldest is 16 and use to be the pickiest eater ever. Now he eats anything and everything (except tomotoes). So, have hope!

[KristinCB]

Lily is pretty picky, she is not a big meat eater so sometimes we have trouble with that but she'll usually eat a side or whatever or like others i'll make a sandwich.. They do outgrow it but i'm 27 and still picky myself.. its just easier cause now I choose the meals.. lolol

She loves cold broccoli and other raw ones but hates cooked broccoli especially with cheese (isn't that what they do to make more people eat it??) so when i do cooked veggies i almost always leave some raw for her.

[pbumbaca]

LOL! Kristin, my youngest doesn't like cooked veggies either but will eat it all raw except mushrooms! But he's also very picky and very thin. I refuse to make a separate meal tho, he can't have his food mixed (aka casserole) so I will usually leave some of each ingredient out on a plate for him with no sauce and he's fine but he has gone to bed hungry plenty of times too.

My other one eats everything and anything but hates to chew steak/beef since he got his braces so I usually do the same as everyone else and give him more potatoes/pasta/rice and veggies. He's a big kid so he won't miss the meat! LOL!

Another rule in our house is if you don't finish everything on your plate there is no dessert or anything else later. I may try leaving the plate there for awhile from now on tho! Thanks for the idea Misty!

[LibbysMommy]

We don't do 2 meals here....my MIL does, and we are at their house a lot...needless to say, my DD is somewhat spoiled and it makes it tricky when we're at home. We usually try to fix something that she'll like too, but that can't always happen. She's very picky!!

[mrs_jb]

I'm not a short order cook, you eat what I make or nothing at all. My kids are required to try everything on their plate (at least one bite), after that they just have to sit quietly if they don't want to eat.

[scrappychic]

They have to eat whatever we make. DD1 is super picky though, so I make sure she eats her vitamins daily.

[rochelle789]

Oh no. No separate meals around here. My 4 year old is super picky. I let her pick her fruit, and then if she doesn't eat what is served, she goes without until breakfast. It's not like I'm serving weird whacked out meals either. We're talking typical family fare here. She's just picky, so it's her choice to eat it or not, but there is nothing else. That has actually worked in getting her to try a few new things.

[makabe]

You all seem like the perfect group to ask this question of: How did you get your kids to understand that they eat what you give them? Our son was not introduced to foods on the normal timeline. When we adopted him (from Korea) at 13 mo. old, he was still only getting formula for the most part. As a result, he hates the texture (or so it would seem) of almost everything. In addition to that, the child is clinging to the bottom of the growth chart for dear life, so even our pediatrician said to give him what he'd eat (within reason, of course...) Now it seems like, at four years old, we should be able to start to say eat this or nothing, but my kid has literally screamed for FOUR HOURS straight and still gone to bed hungry with this tactic. I am not a wimpy mom, I assure you, but I'm at my wits end on this one.

Sorry for the long post. I'm desperate for answers!

[Jennilyn]

I need to get DH to read this thread. LOL He keeps telling me to just make something else for them. I told him I didn't grow up being catered to and I am not making 2 meals. So what am I supposed to do? Stick to making nachos, nuggets & fries, tacos, pizza or Kraft Dinner for suppers? I don't think so!

[BrattyMeg]

Originally Posted by makabe

You all seem like the perfect group to ask this question of: How did you get your kids to understand that they eat what you give them? Our son was not introduced to foods on the normal timeline. When we adopted him (from Korea) at 13 mo. old, he was still only getting formula for the most part. As a result, he hates the texture (or so it would seem) of almost everything. In addition to that, the child is clinging to the bottom of the growth chart for dear life, so even our pediatrician said to give him what he'd eat (within reason, of course...) Now it seems like, at four years old, we should be able to start to say eat this or nothing, but my kid has literally screamed for FOUR HOURS straight and still gone to bed hungry with this tactic. I am not a wimpy mom, I assure you, but I'm at my wits end on this one.

Sorry for the long post. I'm desperate for answers!

(((Karen))) hugs...

Is there anything he DOES like? That you are ok giving him and introducing new side items or things that "look alike" (example..he'll eat chicken nuggets..so maybe introduce fish sticks then go from there?)

I'd start with little things..mac n cheese? baked potatoes...etc

Maybe get a kid cookbook and let him help you cook?

You are in a tough spot..I have texture issues too but I will eat most things..I'm not picky just don't like some things (regular white bread is one lol)

Good luck!

[jsikardi]

ITA about getting a cookbook and letting him help, makabe. It's how I get Carter to try new and wonderful things (and there are no outside issues with him - other than his father traveled for the first years of his life... and I was ok with living on nuggets, frozen pizza, mac n cheese, etc)

Also? I think I'm the most hard-core here - lol - if my kid doesn't want it for dinner (and I KNOW it's something he's eaten before with no issues)... guess what's for breakfast.
Now I'm sorta feeling mean...

[cheltzey]

I won't battle on food. Too many other important things to take a stand on. LOL If I know that Logan doesn't like something, I'll make extra side dishes to go with it. Like he is not a huge fan of pot roast, so I'll do lots of carrots and potatoes and rolls. If all he eats is the veggies and bread, then I'm fine with that... but he gets a bit of everything on his plate. He is growing just fine and has actually started liking some things that were once hated.

Exactly what I do. But I'm a softie and left them have dessert anyway if everyone else is having some. I don't want them to connect eating a ton with getting a reward of more food.

I've found that timing snacks so that they're not too soon and not too much really helps things. And my kids are great eaters!

[rach3975]

This is a hard one in our house. I'm a vegetarian and DH is a meat eater, so there are usually 2 meals to begin with. (NOT both cooked by me.) I make some things, DH makes some things, and we combine everything into meals everyone will eat. My 4 year old is a picky meat-loving kid who still doesn't eat combination foods well, and my 2 year old doesn't like most meat.

So for example, tonight we had pork chops. I made sure to serve pasta as a side so that DS2 and I could eat pasta and still have a real meal. If we're having baked ziti, I know to save some plain pasta for DS1. So I would say I don't make separate meals (except for me, LOL) but I make sure there's something for everyone in the main meal and will allow variations that aren't much extra work. The kids get some of everything on their plate even if I know they don't like it. My 4-year old is required to take a bite of everything on his plate, and we'll start the same with my 2 year old when he gets a bit older. If DS decides he won't eat something, he knows he can have a peanut butter sandwich instead.

My tip for the occasional battle when they don't want to take the required bite: don't turn it into a battle. I take the food away and put that item into the fridge with no argument, just a reminder. When it's time for snack I take it out again, and they have to take the bite first. Usually DS takes his bite with no problem then because he's had some time to cool down.

Originally Posted by makabe

You all seem like the perfect group to ask this question of: How did you get your kids to understand that they eat what you give them? Our son was not introduced to foods on the normal timeline. When we adopted him (from Korea) at 13 mo. old, he was still only getting formula for the most part. As a result, he hates the texture (or so it would seem) of almost everything.

Have you tried working with a speech or occupational therapist on this? If not, it might be worth a try. Someone who works on sensory issues would also be great, though they're harder to find. I think when there are real issues behind the aversion, just making it a rule or trying to force it isn't enough. You may need to teach him to accept textures gradually, starting with the ones he's comfortable with and varying things a little at a time.

[meems]

my son's pickiness drives me crazy, although at the same time I feel like it's b/c I forced solids on him before he was really ready. He seems sensitive to some textures. But I think he would happily dine with Misty's son b/c shrimp and McD (and Culver's) chicken nuggets are 2 things he will eat.

It's hard enough for me to cook 1 meal let alone 2. But if my kids won't eat what I make then they get cereal or rice or pasta, whatever I have on hand. It's hard for me to get them to expand their palates when I'm a bit picky myself.

[Kat Stokes]

I generally don't fix two meals. However, we like spicy food so I usually have to make DS#1's less spicy and/or chicken strips or a peanut butter sandwich. He has to try everything I put on his plate - just one small bite. I figure after about 30 or 40 times he will either like it or not. At least I will know for sure whether or not he likes it if I continue to make him try it.

[krystalhartley]

Since I'm the world's pickiest eater, I have great empathy for the kids when they don't want to eat something...so we have a kind of short-order cook thing going on here. I seldom cook a large meal, but if they don't like it, I offer up easy-prep things like sandwiches, macaroni and cheese, spaghettios, etc. Of course, since my daughter turned 12, I just tell her to grab whatever she wants herself.

[AmyM]

I try to make sure there is at least one thing on the table that my daughter will eat. I'm not making two meals or being mean, but just trying to come to a reasonable compromise. She's 7 now, and looking back, I wish I had done the eat or starve thing with her early on. She eats fruit a lot and isn't a major junk lover but the kid is very picky. No hamburger based anything, no red meat, no tacos, no easy stuff... really annoying. Now when I fix tacos, I'm like- break the shells apart and pretend they're nachos. Daggone it. LOL

[jessica31876]

My kids are old enough now if they dont like what I make they can make something themselves. My husband cooks alot too and we usually have something that everyone likes. Chicken, potaoes and corn or spaghetti and garlic bread....hotdogs and beans. All kid friendly meals. In the rare occasion that one of the kids dont want what is made we always have bread and cold cuts for a ham and cheese or pb&j. My daughter will sometimes just eat a bowl of cereal and a piece of fruit. I dont mind that. It isnt anymore work for me because the dish would get dirtied anyhow. I dont have to cook the extra meal so that is ok also. My mom would cook for my dad and we had to eat whatever she made and sometimes there would be two or three nights in a row where the food would be something I just couldnt stand.

[brooke22]

I cook one meal, and if she doesnt eat it then its gets wrapped and put in the fridge. If she's hungry later then she has a choice of eating her dinner or a banana.

[ZaCola3]

Its eat or starve here...No exceptions-thankfully I have pretty good eaters...Connor will throw some tabasco sauce on almost anything and think its good-Zak will literally eat ANYTHING. Landen is a wee bit picky because we raised him completly organic and vegan for the first two years of his life, so the introduction of meat was hard for him-but he is doing well. Some stuff he refuses to eat but I know before hand he will and compensate with a side dish he likes.

[LibbysMommy]

Wow!! I am loving reading what you all have to say about this!! It's so hard to have picky little eaters, that's for sure!!

[erunginung]

I have 2 pretty good eaters, and 1 ok eater and one seriously picky eater (and a baby LOL) I cook one meal (I try to make sure that everyone like some part of it) but if they don't like it, I tell them they have to "x" amounts of bites. Usually then they'll finish up their required bites without complaining too much and are done. That way I at least know they've had something.

My seriously picky girl will not eat anything potatoes except fries. She gags on any other kind. I think it's textural. But she likes rice, cous cous and stuffing and those are easy things to make to go along with a meal if we're having potatoes.

[krystalhartley]

I just have to add that my mother forced me to eat tater tots when I was little...despite my telling her that I didn't like them...and I threw up all over the place. She didn't force the issue much after that.

And on the extreme side of crazy mothering...it drove me nuts when my kids were smaller and my inlaws would try to get them to eat new foods by saying, "look, grandma and aunt Dee are eating it"...how much closer can you get to wanting kids to cave in to peer pressure?! Please don't teach my kids to try something just because everybody else is doing it!

[nun69]

no 2 meals here either...especially with DH and I both working full time and having kids that range from 15-1 yr now if they are old enough and don;t want to eat then they have the choice of fixing it themselves or starve...luckily my 2 little ones {who can't fend for themselves} will eat just about ANYTHING!!!!! little DD and DS even like plain cuccumbers! we had sloppy joes tonight and only a couple of them ate, so they won;t get anything else until they finish their sloppy joes...'cause I'm mean like that!!!

[robinforman]

We don't have issues so much with the actual eating as the SITTING to eat a meal. My three year old is very active, and getting her to sit still long enough to put a reasonable number of bites in her mouth is a challenge most of the time. Any suggestions for that???

[ditzyscrap]

Robin, my DD is like that too...she eats slowly and wants to move around (and also is picky, lmao) and talks incessantly. DH and I just stay on top of her and are always tell her to sit down and eat...or if she's talking or playing instead of eating, it's just eat, lol. It does get better as time progresses, as long as you stay on top of it!

[Leila]

We have a "two-bite" rule in our house. Basically, the boys must try two bites of the main dish (not necessarily the sides) every night. If they decide they don't like it, they're allowed to have either chicken nuggets (homemade, not storebought), a sandwich, or nothing. Most nights, JP eats the main meal. Devin rarely does, but he's got some major sensory issues with food. He's quite articulate about what he thinks of foods too. I made mac & cheese from scratch last week, and when he tried it, he said, "Mommy, I like how this tastes, it's very yummy. It feels yucky to my mouth though. May I have a sandwich, please?" So, now I know the flavor he likes...I just need to work on texture.

[lovely1m]

I don't eat a lot of things. My mom always knew in advance what I didn't like, so she would make me a portion while cooking with the stuff I don't like left out (like the meat). Simple and she wasn't cooking 2 meals. For me, she's jealous, thus far, my child eats everything.

[twentytinytoes]

It's usually eat this or nothing, but they have to sit there the whole meal and they usually do end up eating because its more of an issue of wanting to go play and not take time to eat. I have been known to make them pancakes or something I know they love when were having something they don't like. WHen they were smaller they didn't eat taco's so i always made them pancakes when we had those. Also if they don't eat there supper and do sit at the table until supper is over i usually let them have a bowl of cereal before bed because I would hate for them to go to bed hungry.

[EveRecinella]

One meal, they eat or don't eat up to them! I do allow them fruit or carrot sticks before bed if they are hungry though!

[lizzyfizzy]

Originally Posted by cheltzey

I don't want them to connect eating a ton with getting a reward of more food.

really great point! i really want to give my kiddos good eating habits too. i try to time their snacks out according to meals as often as possible and i always give them an amount i know they can finish easily without having to say, "mom...i'm full"! i think often parents give the kids too much to eat and it looks soooo overwhelming. also letting the kids plate up their own food in a fun and differnet way can help. ie. let them put their side dishes in little random bowls, i am a firm believer that if the child thinks it was his/her idea they are almost always open to it!

[Stacey42]

It's eat or starve here and you have to take a bite of everything on your plate (even if we all know you hate peas. research has proved that if you eat a food often enough, even a small amount, you get over hating it).

However, I do plan my meals with their likes & dislikes in mind. The boys are not wild about grilled steak, so if we have that one night, the next night I'll make spinach & tomato pizza, which they love. I also try to have at least one thing on the plate everynight that will eat, even if it's just a side of rice or pasta.

DH insists on them taking the one bite of everything before they leave the table. He'll sit there reading a book until bedtime waiting for them to eat that bite. No talking allowed. Fortunately those occasions are few and far between & usually revolve around new foods like braised endive.