S/O of S/O: Looks vs. Personality?

[LeeAndra]

Ha. Thanks, Fizz.

How big of a role did/do looks play in your current relationship? Why? Has this ever changed for you i.e. younger you vs. older you, past relationships vs. current relationships?

Have you ever broken up with someone even though they had a great personality because they were not good-looking? Conversely, have you ever broken up with someone even though they were gorgeous because they did not have a great personality? Do you have a sneaking suspicion one of the above situations has ever happened to you? Spill all details now.

What kind of sliding scale do you have for looks vs. personality? Do/did you use the same scale on SOs as you do friends? In general, do you have more 'pretty' friends or more 'personality' friends?

[amystoffel]

Hmmmmm....

In my current relationship I was immediately attracted to him looks-wise. No scale needed. He made my blood boil. But then after we started talking I found out he was also the funniest person I had ever (and still to this day) ever met.

I still get butterflies when we get dressed up and do something. (Not so much in his sweats and stuff LOL)

Other men...

I have dated model looking types, skinny rocker boys, geeky boys, older, younger...

I guess I dont have a type or anything!!!

[lauren grier]

well I'm single


lol
but in the past I've been a major sucker for the pretty boys (this shouldn't really be surprising though) and have put myself through a lot of crap for them.. I am hoping I am wiser now My soon to be xdh doesn't count for this conversation.. ^_^

[lizzyfizzy]

looks never played a part in dating for me. yes...i dated some super gorgeous boys/men in my life. think LL Cool J hot with green eyes hot. think Michael Jordan in the day but with lighter skin hot. think pretty rich white boy with blue eyes and dark messy hair. think a lot of tall b-ball players hot. lots of jocks...all pretty. some nerdy guys as well...no looks, just had feelings for them. however, i would never date someone based on looks, for me any guy i have ever dated has been a friend first and then things evolved. i go with my heart, regardless of looks and personality.

[iJenny]

I'm with Liz. I always dated the "underdog" type of guys. Not ugly or geeks or losers, but just not the "everybody loves him" type of guy.

KWIM?

[Claudi]

I met my hubby online and felt in love with him, when we talked on phone.... and the love became deeper when we first met!

good looking is not the most important thing for me.... a great personality is much much more important ... because good look doesn't help, when you need someone to talk with...

just my 2 cents

[lizzyfizzy]

nerdy guy=my husband.

he's not cool, he has no style, he's not funny very often...LOL! sometimes he'll crack me up. i married him because of his unconditional love for me and our new little daughter (at the time), his kindness, his generosity and his love for God.

[ColleenSwerb]

Amy, I hear ya! The first time I met Jordan I had to wipe the drool off my face. And then I found out he was funny too, and that was the end of that

Let's see.
1st real bf was much older than me, and gorgeous. But also an idiot.
2nd bf was 6 years older, hawt, and hysterical. Ended up being a jerkoff.
3rd bf, not so hawt. But funny. But the funny didn't hold my heart like I thought it would. Plus distance + me still being in college = pretty bad breakup.
And then came Jordan. And we all know how that's going

ETA:I've got friends all over the map We're a crazy eclectic bunch, lol.

[sammi]

I met dh when I was 24 so he was only the 3rd person I dated...I grew up very sheltered. But had 3 jobs and didn't really have time to do the dating thing back then. I thought he was good looking but super arrogant so I wasn't attracted to him at first. He won me over.

[SeattleSheri]

I won't lie, I like me a super hot guy, lol ....

Have you ever broken up with someone even though they had a great personality because they were not good-looking? No, because I've never really dated anyone unless I was attracted to them. Even if someone's physical features aren't super attractive, they can be attractive based on how they carry themselves or put themselves together.

Conversely, have you ever broken up with someone even though they were gorgeous because they did not have a great personality? Yep!

What kind of sliding scale do you have for looks vs. personality? I don't really have a scale. Most of my friends are attractive. I was a sorority girl (I know, big surprise, lol) and my husband was a frat boy, so most of our college friends are pretty attractive.

Do/did you use the same scale on SOs as you do friends? In general, do you have more 'pretty' friends or more 'personality' friends? I think my friends fit both categories.

[LeeAndra]

IKWYM, Jenny. I've never dated any pretty guys or even attempted to do so, but I always (unfortunately) have a soft spot for guys I have to 'save.'



Jeff is not a pretty boy, but it still amazes me that *I*, Miss Co-Editor-in-Chief of the School Literary Magazine and Captain of the Spellbowl Team, am going to be the wife of Mr. Popular Jock Went To All The Parties and Knew All The Cool People. *lol* Granted, he went to a much smaller school, but he was friends with almost everyone, played a bunch of sports, went to all the cool parties, made out with all (*lol* not ALL!) the cool gurls, and is still one of those people who can talk to anyone anywhere and make them comfortable.

I never ever EVER hung out with people like that in high school; they were completely out of my realm. Dating one of them would have been like dating Mark-Paul Gosselaar back in the day. Trying to wrap my brain around being in a relationship now with one of those guys, plus 10 years, is a mindfreak.

If only I had known then that I'd have my own Brian Martinic or Tom Falgier in a decade or so... I would have saved myself so much grief and worry.

[Darcy Baldwin]

I fell in love with my husband before I had ever seen him. So I think...looks had absolutely nothing to do with it. Thank G-d I find him pretty cute

I tend to go for personality way more than looks. To me, a person can be good looking and pleasant to look at, but if their personality stinks..who wants to be with them? Conversely, I think a person who isn't the greatest looking grows on one after awhile. You learn to like quirks (at least I pray DH still loves me even though I'm not the cutest thing around - and I'm not asking for sympathy - I know how I look).

While great looks + personality is bonus..I'll go personality over looks just about any day.

[AnnieBananie]

My story of DH and me is a long one so I'll spare you the details... I had the hots for him from day 1. Manly-man, hardass, rugged good looks, insanely hilarious, and yet so SO sweet.

I dated a lot of jerks back in the day, a few "jocks", a nerd here and there, then a mama's boy... then DH. Personality is a requirement though... looks... eh, I can look past a lot of stuff.

I was ALWAYS the "cool" friend, kwim? Ugh I hated that.

As far as friends go, I don't think I really pay attention to looks... I have a hard personality to mesh with (whaaaa?) so that's really way more important.

Did I answer everything?! DO I GET A COOKIE!?! (smiley of the day)

[Stacey42]

Mostly I've dated guys of average to decent looks, with moderate to good personalities. Geeks mostly, but not nerdy, just really into what ever it was they were into. I like a man who can focus on something & talk intellegently about a variety of things. As the comedian says "You can't fix stupid"

I've never broken up with anyone because of their looks but I did dump the one really good looking guy I dated because of his personality. He was a very controlling person & I don't deal well with that. You can persuade me to go along with you but you do NOT order me about.

I don't have a scale. Certainly I am more likely to intially notice a good looking guy, but his personality will determine if I continue to pay attention to him. Unless I have been drinking, then it's all looks.

[Sarah8914]

Well, I have to say I needed at least SOME good looks. I definitely thought my hubby was cute and he caught my eye, and I think that's important to me. But even more so is his personality. He is so gentle and loving. Seeing him as a father (of our children...) makes me fall in love 100 billion times over again and 100 billion times MORE than before. He does make me laugh and he's smart--I needed a smart guy. He really is just absolutely perfect for me. Hopefully I'm perfect for him. He's quiet, and I think I needed that too, even though I didn't think so at the time. He didn't move too fast and scare me off and he's a great listener.

did I answer any of the questions?

[crecia27]

Originally Posted by LeeAndra

IKWYM, Jenny. I've never dated any pretty guys or even attempted to do so, but I always (unfortunately) have a soft spot for guys I have to 'save.'



Jeff is not a pretty boy, but it still amazes me that *I*, Miss Co-Editor-in-Chief of the School Literary Magazine and Captain of the Spellbowl Team, am going to be the wife of Mr. Popular Jock Went To All The Parties and Knew All The Cool People. *lol* Granted, he went to a much smaller school, but he was friends with almost everyone, played a bunch of sports, went to all the cool parties, made out with all (*lol* not ALL!) the cool gurls, and is still one of those people who can talk to anyone anywhere and make them comfortable.

I never ever EVER hung out with people like that in high school; they were completely out of my realm. Dating one of them would have been like dating Mark-Paul Gosselaar back in the day. Trying to wrap my brain around being in a relationship now with one of those guys, plus 10 years, is a mindfreak.

If only I had known then that I'd have my own Brian Martinic or Tom Falgier in a decade or so... I would have saved myself so much grief and worry.

This is totally me and my husband! If we'd known each other in high school I'm not even sure we would have been friends!

[junebug]

well, i never really dated anyone before i met my DH. There was this one guy i sort of hung out with that i met through my bf. He was not the most attractive guy, but he was very sweet. we 'dated' for a few weeks but i never did more than hold his hand. not much came of of it. i think i was 17 at the time. guys just weren't really extremely important to me. i figured if i met someone great if not oh well. fast forward a few years. I was 20 when i met my now DH. He worked at a gas station across town from the gas station i worked at. the first time i layed eyes on him i knew i had to get to know him. it was like time stopped, lol. cheesy i know. he was a cutie, but a tad bit heavy and he wore glasses like me. well, to make a long story short, i got to work with him one night and we spent the entire night flirting. it was the funnest night of work ever . a few weeks later my friend who was the assistant manager got his phone number for me, made me sit down in the office and call him to ask him out while she watched my cash register for me . we went to a movie and had a lot of fun. he was my first kiss. yes, you heard me. i was 20 before i had my first kiss! He's still not perfect; but i don't regret any of it. we always make it through.

[lizzyfizzy]

Originally Posted by SeattleSheri

Even if someone's physical features aren't super attractive, they can be attractive based on how they carry themselves or put themselves together.

spot on.