OT: Incredibly offensive

[mlewis]

Look at this Etsy listing and read the description. That is one of the most incredibly offensive things I have ever read. As an adoptive mother, it is extremely hurtful. If you feel led, send her a note asking her to reword or remove it!

[LenaGardner]

Ugh. I sent a note.

[Nikki Epperson]

That is ridiculous!

[digideb]

OMGosh! Is she serious? I haven't adopted, but we plan to some day. And, yeah, I already find that offensive! Jerk!

[AmyM]

That is just wrong on so many levels. Trashy as trashy can get. Shame on her

[justmp]

Well, I AM an adoptive mommy, and I AM most definitely offended!!! I'm emailing now!

[SeattleSheri]

That is just awful! I can't believe some people!

[iJenny]

I sent her a note also. Sounds like she's totally clueless on socially acceptable language regarding adoption and race.

[amystoffel]

Oh my word...that is horribly offensive. And for someone claiming to be "color-blind" it sounds a bit racist to me.

[nikkiARNGwife]

Ugh. Some people are just plain ignorant.

[lovely1m]

Wow, nice. We plan to adopt one day from India.

[rochelle789]

That is horribly offensive. She sounds very ignorant, and using "color blind" language isn't anything to be proud of either. Individual and cultural differences are supposed to be accepted and celebrated, not brushed aside and ignored.

[lauren grier]

ok.. I've been mulling over this trying to think of a way to reply.

I think....... (and no one throw anything at me) that everyone is just misinterpretting her.. I looked through a lot of her other stuff and she just seems to have a certain way of saying things. I am also excusing her because she is a black woman- and this is just how my ex dh and his family/friends etc say things. I wouldn't let it eat at you.. really.

[Rae's World]

That is just horrible. The stupidity of some people amazes me.

edited: I just read La's post. She is right on some levels. But I think the lady posting could have found a better way to express herself. Especially concerning adoption and such.

[Kim]

wow that is so rude.

[Paula]

Originally Posted by lauren grier

ok.. I've been mulling over this trying to think of a way to reply.

I think....... (and no one throw anything at me) that everyone is just misinterpretting her.. I looked through a lot of her other stuff and she just seems to have a certain way of saying things. I am also excusing her because she is a black woman- and this is just how my ex dh and his family/friends etc say things. I wouldn't let it eat at you.. really.

I was just thinking the same thing La.

[AnnieBananie]

I dunno, I kinda "get it". Adopted children have become Hollywood's hottest fashion accessory... whether the celebs intend it to be that way or it's just the spin the media puts on it (which seems more likely).

[mlewis]

Originally Posted by AnnieBananie

I dunno, I kinda "get it". Adopted children have become Hollywood's hottest fashion accessory... whether the celebs intend it to be that way or it's just the spin the media puts on it (which seems more likely).

Ummm, Hollywood had no influence on my decision to become an adoptive parent. And adopting children is not the "new dog" as she puts it.

[mlewis]

Originally Posted by lauren grier

ok.. I've been mulling over this trying to think of a way to reply.

I think....... (and no one throw anything at me) that everyone is just misinterpretting her.. I looked through a lot of her other stuff and she just seems to have a certain way of saying things. I am also excusing her because she is a black woman- and this is just how my ex dh and his family/friends etc say things. I wouldn't let it eat at you.. really.

I can see your point - I thought the same thing as I looked at her other pieces. However, it doesn't change the fact that she is comparing internationally adopted children to a fad and to getting a "new dog" in her words. And that is very offensive. Honestly, I'm not worked up - I don't know her and people are ignorant everywhere. But I did think it was extreme.

[scrapperjade]

I sent an email as well! I wasn't offended by the color blind really. It was the comparing adopting children to a trend, as "the new dog". I found it COMPLETELY inappropriate!

[AnnieBananie]

Originally Posted by mlewis

Ummm, Hollywood had no influence on my decision to become an adoptive parent. And adopting children is not the "new dog" as she puts it.

Hence the reason I wrote "Hollywood's" and not "America's". I have every belief that, say Angelina and Madonna, adopt their children in good faith... but that doesn't mean that the media won't spin it. The media spins everything in every way. We think about Angelina Jolie and we think kids... and the media plays on that like they're a hot new fashion accessory, not a human life. I take those shirts as a jab to the media and Hollywood... but, like I said, I see how people could be offended.

[newfiemountiewife]

Originally Posted by mlewis

Ummm, Hollywood had no influence on my decision to become an adoptive parent. And adopting children is not the "new dog" as she puts it.

No, it isn't the "new dog" (oiy, bad analogy) as she puts it, for average, normal people, such as yourself, who want nothing more than a sweet child to love.

Related to this though, I do often wonder why the celebs are adopting, it seems more popular amongst them these days. It does appear as if celebs adopting children is the latest trend for them, considering how many are doing it now. You never heard of this up until the past couple of years, so that's why I think if a celeb gets publicity and attention for adopting a child, it wouldn't be a far reach to think that *some* of them do it just for that. Which is awful. It takes all kinds.

Sorry you found it so hurtful!

[ditzyscrap]

Originally Posted by newfiemountiewife

No, it isn't the "new dog" (oiy, bad analogy) as she puts it, for average, normal people, such as yourself, who want nothing more than a sweet child to love.

Related to this though, I do often wonder why the celebs are adopting, it seems more popular amongst them these days. It does appear as if celebs adopting children is the latest trend for them, considering how many are doing it now. You never heard of this up until the past couple of years, so that's why I think if a celeb gets publicity and attention for adopting a child, it wouldn't be a far reach to think that *some* of them do it just for that. Which is awful. It takes all kinds.

Sorry you found it so hurtful!

Exactly Jamie...it's like their little bit of charity or whatever, since it's required of them for PR. "Oh, I know...I'll go adopt a child from another country and let my nanny raise it with my other kids...that should cover my required charity PR for the next couple years".

ETA: Obviously not every star that does it is doing it for publicity, and same goes for other people who do it because they can't have kids or whatever other reasons they choose. But sometimes it CAN become a "trend" especially once the media gets ahold of it.

[AnnieBananie]

Originally Posted by ditzyscrap

Exactly Jamie...it's like their little bit of charity or whatever, since it's required of them for PR. "Oh, I know...I'll go adopt a child from another country and let my nanny raise it with my other kids...that should cover my required charity PR for the next couple years".

Mmhmm, there's this aspect too.

[ditzyscrap]

I do want to say that while I feel that way about celebrities (because I don't get people's obsession with EVERYTHING they do), I do commend families that are able to adopt. When it's a choice made with LOVE then it's a good thing and those children are lucky to be brought into the family. I guess I just am cynical about the motives of celebs.

[Paula]

Melissa, I'm so glad that Camden and Rory have such a wonderful mom as you. There was a thread one time on this issue and I asked why people were adopting outside the USA and Kim (myebella) gave me the most wonderful answer. She said that it was because it is almost impossible here in the US to adopt a baby because everyone wants the babies and that there were babies in other countries just waiting for loving parents. She also said that the moment she saw her children - that she knew in her entire soul that she was their mama. That made a HUGE impact on how I viewed it.

I didn't take offense to the color blind thing because I saw it as a jab at the celebrities who seem to be adopting foreign born children for the news spin they get. But, for moms like you and Kim - I can totally see how it would offend you. The "new dogs" comment was rude no matter how she meant it.

[lovely1m]

I didn't have a problem with the shirt, it was her desciption that ws offense to many IMO.

[Penny Springmann]

Originally Posted by AnnieBananie

The media spins everything in every way. We think about Angelina Jolie and we think kids... and the media plays on that like they're a hot new fashion accessory, not a human life. I take those shirts as a jab to the media and Hollywood... but, like I said, I see how people could be offended.

That's exactly how I took the shirts - as a satirical slam on hollywood and a media obsessed culture.

That doesn't mean it's not totally tacky though.

[newfiemountiewife]

Originally Posted by Paula

Melissa, I'm so glad that Camden and Rory have such a wonderful mom as you. There was a thread one time on this issue and I asked why people were adopting outside the USA and Kim (myebella) gave me the most wonderful answer. She said that it was because it is almost impossible here in the US to adopt a baby because everyone wants the babies and that there were babies in other countries just waiting for loving parents. She also said that the moment she saw her children - that she knew in her entire soul that she was their mama. That made a HUGE impact on how I viewed it.

I didn't take offense to the color blind thing because I saw it as a jab at the celebrities who seem to be adopting foreign born children for the news spin they get. But, for moms like you and Kim - I can totally see how it would offend you. The "new dogs" comment was rude no matter how she meant it.

I remember that thread too, and I thought that was so incredibly sweet.

[lizzyfizzy]

oh my word. what a ninny. does she have a moron hat she can wear so people can know ahead of time who their dealing with? i don't even know what to think. she must be ill.

[Trina]

Originally Posted by AnnieBananie

I take those shirts as a jab to the media and Hollywood... but, like I said, I see how people could be offended.

I was going to try to post, but you said it better than I could have. I agree.

[AnnieBananie]

Originally Posted by Penny Springmann

That's exactly how I took the shirts - as a satirical slam on hollywood and a media obsessed culture.

That doesn't mean it's not totally tacky though.

THAT is the word I was looking for... tacky. Very much so.

[rachaelsscraps]

I am FUMING over this!!!!! I am so ticked!!!!

My family is multi-cultural.... my parents adopted a little boy from Russia 10 years ago and two children (a boy & a girl) from Kazahkstan about 8 years ago. My little brother (adopted from Russia looks just like us, you can't tell he's adopted... but my little brother and sister are Asian- so they don't look anything like us.... (oh, and btw, my parents adopted them before Angelina and Madonna adopted their children. Just thought I'd mention that!)

I am so MAD about that! I hope she has enough sense to remove that!!!!

[my4boys]

That is just sickening.....I really don't understand people