a little rant

[kim21673]

Ok....some of you know how sick my little guy was a few months ago....here's a little background for those of you who don't know....He ended up in the hospital for a week after SEVERE projectile vomiting and was a "failure to thrive" baby. The doctors didn't have a diagnosis, even after having every test, u/s, MRI and blood test possible. They even did a sweat test to rule out cystic fibrosis. Once we got transferred to a children's hospital he started gaining and stopped throwing up. Well, since he was sick for well over a month he has had a rough start gaining weight. He is on the LOW end and only gaining about 1 lb a month. We have had to go back several times to the hospital for blood work to check liver enzymes and other counts just to make sure they are returning to normal. I will add that this was an EXTREMELY SCARY time and we were so afraid of losing him.

Here's the rant....
EVERY TIME we go out people oooohhh and ahhhhh over him...he is sort of cute! LOL Then they always ask how old he is. I tell them and they ALWAYS follow up with how small he is and can't believe he is XX months old. We have battled so much with his weight and just when I am feeling better and almost have this whole thing behind me they knock me down again. Just yesterday someone questioned me about his age...he really is 6 months old??? I think I would know!!! Derek is barely 6 months old and is already wearing 6-9 month clothes....I think that's an ok size!!!

We went to the doctor yesterday...he is FINALLY in the clear! Doctor said to enjoy this baby and that he is PERFECT! Derek weighed 15 lbs 4.5 ounces (10.6%) and was 27 3/4 inches (90%). Of course weight wise he is on the smaller side but height he is almost OFF the charts the other way!!!! Why does everyone think he is soooo tiny b/c he is longer than most babies his age...we can thank DH for his height (he is 6'8 and a rail).

The doctor and I talked in great length about how I feel I have been knocked down by people every time they comment on his size and that I always feel like I have to defend him and his size. Then the doctor gave me some parting words....he said that today....most people have a skewed vision of what a healthy, good sized baby/person is!! He said that Derek is a perfect size and people should look at who his parents are...he would never expect Derek to be anything but tall and lean and with childhood obsesity on the rise that isn't a bad thing!!!

Ok, rant over....

[heathergw]

yep, I would have said the same thing your Dr told you... (((HUGS)))

[cbettua]

Im so sorry, I know exactly what you are going through. My now 17 month old is only 19 lbs. He is below the 10th percentile for height and weight. He is so small I get it all the time. Your little one sounds normal sized to me!

[Kara]

Hugs!

[julia]

I'm sorry hon, but yay for little Derek being in the clear! That is wonderful.

My son has always been tall and chubby as a baby. He was always in the 90% for height and 70%-ish for weight. People would go on and on and on about how big he was and if he was really only so and so months. I'm like "Lady, you think you are the first one to comment his size?" What is really funny is that everyone expected him to have a huge appetite, while in reality, he has been one the the worst little boys to feed ever. He eats so little and still does. He is just big from the genetic side. We have lots of tall people in my family, and both him and I had the exact same height and weight when we were 5 mos.

Anyway, sorry about writing a book. I just wanted you to know that people are dumb even if you have a small baby or if you have a big one

ETA: My son is now 3 and 40.5 inches tall. It still does not go un-noticed!

[adrianka]

People are always so "generous" when it comes to commenting on other people's children and lives in general, aren't they? So annoying.

Enjoy your little boy as he is, because to you he's perfect, and that's the only thing that matters. *hugs*

[emmasmommy]

how awesome that you guys are in the clear now!!!

people don't understand that being "little" is just as bad as being "big." ***hugs***

[kim21673]

Originally Posted by julia

ETA: My son is now 3 and 40.5 inches tall. It still does not go un-noticed!

Our 3 year old is 44 inches and our 4 year old is 46 inches.....we always get looks when they "act their age" in public....I can't win with any of my boys!! LOL

[kim21673]

Thanks ladies!!

[MamaBee]

yay!! Happy to hear he is in the clear!!

People are stupid. I don't know why people think they can comment on everything... just stick with what a cutie he is! I can relate... my kiddo has always been off the charts for height, but in the low end for weight.

{{hugs}}

[cardinalskate]

So glad to hear he's doing so well and is in the clear!

People sometimes feel like they need to say something, even if their something isn't welcome and they maybe should have thought before they spoke. Most probably don't mean to insult. But I can absolutely see why you'd feel like you needed to defend his size. I'm sure he's perfect!

[jessica31876]

Im glad he is doing better. I kinda know how you feel but from the opposite side. My son was 11 pounds when he was born and at the end of a year between 35 and 40 pounds. I would get the question about how old is he and then the disbelief that he is only that old. Even as a newborn people would not believe he was just born or a week (or two or three) old. He slowed after a year with very little gain weight wise but still staying off the charts for height (and now at 17 he is totally normal sized). Sometimes it would make me upset/angry about people commenting on his size because my doctor told me it was normal for him to be the size he was since his whole body was growing proportionately and he would just always be bigger then kids his age. I guess what Im saying is that sometimes people just do not think about what they are saying or how it may make you feel.

[nun69]

big {{{HUGS}} and people are stupid like Rebecca said but you know what my 2 older kids were always very small and were always in the clothes size of their age group until they were like 5...even now my 10 yr old can't even wear a pair of size 7 shorts~~~ so I feel you and I agree with the doctor...he is perfect now my 2 younger ones are a little on the healthy side

[g6scrapped]

I know exactly how you feel (minus the being sick part). My 3 year old is tiny and always has been! She is going to be 4 in August and still wears 24 months clothing; we do put her in some 2T but they are usually to big for her. We always get comments on how tiny she is. It doesn't help that her sister and younger brother are huge too (not fat wise but tall wise).

::

[scrapperjade]

I get lots of comments with Avalynne too, but opposite of you. Ava has always been really tall. Skinny as a bean pole, but super tall. Her daddy is 6'2", I'm 5'9", so she doesn't have much choice, lol. She just turned 3 in January, and has been wearing size 4T since last fall (when she was just under 3 years), and the last couple trips to the store, I've bough her size 5T (and even a size 6/7!!) just to get things long enough for her.

People assume she's 5, so when, as you put it, she "acts her age", I get dirty looks. Like they can't believe a 5 year old would pull that in a store. It's so frustrating because I know how little she still is, even if she looks older/bigger. People comment on it ALL the time when I mention she's only 3. Now I just say what I mentioned earlier (about her dad's height, and she will be a tall girl when she's grown up too).

[taracotta7]

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that your doctor could be an encouragement to you. Not all doctors take the time to listen to the mom and THEN take the time to discuss that concern. You are very blessed! He is speaking the truth so any time you start doubting again, you just remember those very wise words from your doctor.

I am so glad that you guys are finally in the clear! YEAH!!!

[Kenzi]

I know how you feel. My first son gotta bad case of roto virus while we were in Cancun Mexico. We spent our entire vacation in the hospital. Let me tell you it was SCARY! He was only 7 months old. After that we spent another 2 days in the hospital when we got back to Kansas. Ever since then he has been on the smaller side. He is skinny just like his dad and average for his height. I was always told "oh he's so adorable and so small!" My second son on the other hand is tall and built bigger all around (more like me lol). They are 2 & 4 years old now and I am constantly getting asked if they are twins! They do look a lot alike and if they are sitting down their height is not much different, but if they are standing Tyler is several inches taller than Gavin. They are only 2 pounds apart in weight though When I tell people no they are not twins, I get shock and awe! and really?! they look so much alike...Yes really people I birthed them I should know!
I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes it gets to me. But people are people and I admit I'm sure I've said and done some stupid things too

[sczos911]

I am glad he is okay! And I am glad you have such a great doctor!!

My Jilly (oldest) is tiny. She is six and weighs in at 33 pounds. And she's short. The shortest in her class. We're to the point now where the comments are getting less and less, but we have a 4 year old that out weighs her sister by ten pounds and is taller than J. OH, the comments we get. Are they twins? Wow, she's tiny....blah, blah, blah. It used to "get" to me, but now she is at an age where it doesn't matter. Just hang in there - the first 2-3 years are rough with smaller kids. The comments from the general public is insane. He's too young now, but let me know if you want ideas for bulking up food. We've been to the specialist since J was 6 or 7 months old for weight. I've got a stash of ideas I still use with her to this day.

Oh and it took J 5 years to get onto that stupid growth chart. She was growing, but just not "on" the chart!

[Ginger_79]

I can understand your frustration. Your doctor obviously is a nice and wise person and I'm so happy your little one is fine!

Saying that, I can kinda understand why the people do that. It's like these things I swore I'd never say to kids about how much they've grown and how school is ect.? Totally do that now. It's usually just a reaction about not having anything in depth to say, but want to have a friendly conversation. Then most people (and I have to admit, probably me too) go to obvious things and phrases.

Still, it must be hard after all the trouble and worry you went through. So here's to little Derek! Best wishes for the both of you.

[nietis]

Seriously what your doctor said! People can be annoying :-/

[CA Dreamer]

((((hugs))))) These people are just crazy. As a mom of a preemie, I know how size+age doesn't always jive. Sheesh... these people!!! A happy, healthy baby is perfect no matter what size! I don't know why some people are so insensitive. Sorry you have to deal with these insensitive comments.

[clearskies]

Feeling your pain. Our second one was also diagnosed failure to thrive after dropping from the 50% at 2 weeks to below the charts at 2 months. (He gained 2 ounces between the two dates.) Honestly the nurse made me feel like a bad mother implying that I wasn't feeding him enough... They finally found some heart defects and he had open heart surgery in March to fix them. He has since gained 2 pounds and is now in the 20% for weight. But, yeah, he was 8 months when he started wearing 6-9 month clothes. Sometimes kiddos just have a rough start...

[kristijoy]

Sounds like you've got a great Doc!!