Talk to me about slumber parties.

[MommaTrish]

My kids haven't had one, and haven't been to one, and Zach's begging for one for his birthday. (He's turning 9) What sort of hours should I put for it? Should I add that they can come for food and cake and stay till X time if they aren't comfortable doing sleep over? And what time do I tell these people to get their kids out of my house by???
And as a parent, would you object to your kid camping out in the backyard?

[jacinda]

We've done tons of sleepovers, though none outside the house.

I definitely put a time frame on it too. Most of our sleepovers are from mid afternoon till mid morning-ish. I tell parents to come pick up the kids at 11am the next morning (or earlier if you think you'd go crazy before that). I find the kids pretty much take care of themselves during the actual sleepover. Especially at 9 yrs old. I'll organise 1 or 2 activities for the afternoon (crafty things for girls, or nail painting etc) IF they want to do them. Sorry, no idea on boys activities. I give them something super easy like pizza and chips for dinner, then they watch a kids DVD before bed. Once they're in bed, they'll want to talk and laugh and be silly. I give them an hour or two to do that, afterall, that's half the fun of sleepovers, then they have to go to sleep. In my house that would be about 10 -10.30pm ish at the latest. They'll be awake at the crack of dawn anyway.

In the morning they either watch another movie or TV till breakfast time (this helps keep the house semi quiet if it's still early), then just let them play till parents pick them up.

The time will actually go by really quickly.

As for sleeping in the yard, it would depend on how safe the area is, and where the closest parent would be. I would think a parent would have to be sleeping somewhere nearby (though not necessarily in the same tent) for me to be happy sending my kid.

Oh, and I always tell the kids/parents when they arrive, that if they're not comfortable sleeping over, they can go home whenever they're ready, then return in the morning for more fun. No pressure. I find that 99.9% of the time they end up staying.

[my2monkeys]

for my 11th birthday, I had a camp-out slumber party (back in the late 80's). It was a blast. I had about 10 girls stay over in our tent. For food we had hot dogs cooked over a charcoal grill, potato chips and later we roasted marshmallows over that same grill to make smores. My parents set up some yard games (like badminton) to keep us entertain. We also sat around talking and telling stories.

I didn't know it that night, but my mom slept on the patio to keep an eye on us.

[Kara]

As for sleeping outside, I'd be a little iffy, even with a parent outside. At about the same age, my brother and I were camping in our backyard in an otherwise very safe, quiet suburban neighborhood, and we were almost kidnapped. Thank goodness my parents were sleeping with their window open; they heard the ruckus and yelled at whoever it was to get out of here.

[LeeAndra]

I wouldn't want my kid sleeping outside at 9 yo unless a parent was outside, too, and the backyard was fenced. I still might be iffy abt it if it was a large party where I didn't know the other kids well. At 9 (and mostly boys?), they might get the idea to go explore around the neighborhood, etc.

I'd have everyone come at 6 or 6:30 (so parents have time to get home from work and then drop them off to you), make sure to list you're serving dinner, and then set a 10 am pickup time. If anyone does not feel comfortable staying, I'm sure his or her parent will let you know without you needing to mention it on the invite. 10 am should be late enough so the kids can get some sleep after staying up late and still eat breakfast before they leave, but early enough that when you inevitably have a parent (or two!) show up late that it doesn't ruin your lunch or afternoon plans.

If it's a big pack of boys, I would be sure to plan a lot of (outside running-ish) activities for them to participate in so they are tired when you want them to go to bed e.g. water guns/balloons, relay races, etc.

Good luck! I went to a lot of slumber parties in middle school and always thought they were a lot of fun.

[MommaTrish]

Well Zach decided he doesn't want to have it camping after all, so I guess that part I don't have to worry about, lol.

[DawnMarch]

We've had a ton of sleepovers here too. My kids love it when we move the furniture and set up our tent in the living room. So it's sort of like a camp--out, but safe inside. We have camping mats and battery operated lanterns and the kids all love it.

I would definitely limit the timing, especially on the first sleepover. This is for your sanity mostly, but also, your child may not want to "entertain" for a long time either. It can be stressful for everybody trying to make sure every one is having a good time for hours on end. My son recently hosted a sleepover and after it was over he said "thank goodness, now I can get some alone time!" (Sounded eerily like me, in fact. ) So, we usually do 4:30 arrival, then birthday dinner & activity & cake; then the kids have some time to just play; sleep (hopefully); breakfast in the am + more free play time; pick up at 10 am.

[lovely1m]

Good to hear all this. I know we are thinking of having a small sleep over this summer, but it would only be with a friend or two. I remember doing tons of sleep overs as a kid.

[Milmomma]

Quick question, at what age do you let them do sleep overs?

[lovely1m]

My 6 year old has been sleeping over at others houses for years, but its always been one of my friends or family. He's never done with a person I do not know.

[Sherri Tierney]

My daughter had her first sleepover in 1st grade. My son just finished 1st grade and hasn't slept over anywhere yet. Around here the boys don't seem to be as into it as the girls.

With us it depends on what friend as to what guidelines we set up. My daughter has one friend whose mom insists she be asleep by 11pm. When she spends the night we abide by her wishes and make sure the girls get to sleep. With some of the other girls we let them stay up as late as they want, not worrying about how much sleep they get. Their parents are fine with it. They usually crash by 1am though.

Someone mentioned that the kids will occupy themselves during a sleepover. I wish that were the case here. I don't know if it is because I know all of my kids' friends well or what, but when one of their friends is here the kids spend more time trying to get my attention than playing with one another. Sleepovers wear me out for that reason.

We tried a few weekends ago to let the kids sleep out in the tent in the back yard. Our yard is fenced on 3 sides with a tall privacy fence and the 4th side butts up against a neighbor's yard. The neighbor has a big dog with a mean bark that is always outside and always on alert. The neighbor is also extended family who keeps an eye out for us. He has a tall fence (though it is chain link) and no one gets near our yard. We also have a super quiet neighborhood. Anyway, the kids didn't last all night. They were soooo noisy that I finally made them come in. I kept going out and telling them to keep it down. We have a 90 year old neighbor who needs to sleep! LOL So, for us it wasn't the safety, it was just that the kids couldn't be out there and settle down enough to sleep. I had 4 of them ages 12 to 7 out there. My plan was to sleep with the upstairs door open and then I could peek around the corner off the balcony and see them (and definitely hear anything going on). We might try again when the 7 year old is older as he was the loudest of the bunch.

[rach3975]

Originally Posted by Milmomma

Quick question, at what age do you let them do sleep overs?

My oldest is 9, and he's never been invited to one or shown any interest in hosting one. (Fine by me, LOL!) The first sleepover party I remember having as a child was for my 9th birthday, but I think I had sleepovers with individual friends before that. My daughter is only 4 so it hasn't come up yet, but I'm curious to see whether she starts getting invited to them in a few years or if it just isn't that popular here.

Originally Posted by MommaTrish

Well Zach decided he doesn't want to have it camping after all, so I guess that part I don't have to worry about, lol.

I think that's just as well. I'd only be comfortable with it if a parent was there, and I don't know if even that would be enough to convince my son. He's never been camping and probably wouldn't want to sleep outside unless he was with an adult he knew well and trusted.

[kscwgirl]

Abby had a big one for her 9th birthday and then the kids had some friends over a couple weekends ago. Abby has spend the night at friends but J never has. He's stayed with my parents but never slept anywhere else.

We had them come over at 5 and be picked up at 10 am. For those that weren't spending the night, they were picked up at 8:30 pm.

[julifish]

I'm a grumpy mom and I honestly do not like hosting slumber parties. However, I found my comfort zone and it's a lot better. I have girls so it could be entirely different.

#1 - I limit the number of kids and keep it an even number. Three friends is my limit. Anymore and chaos happens and someone is always being the ringleader you can't get to go to sleep and then there is one person who feels left out. With 4 kids total it seems to make things pretty even. I'd do 6, but no more!

#2 I use hired help. For my youngest's sleep over parties I use my older daughter and her best friend as my party entertainers and organizers. I pay them each $20 to run the show for the night and the next morning. They plan scavenger hunts, paint nails, do hair, come up with games to play in the pool, sleep downstairs with the kids to keep everyone in line - it's worth every penny! For my older daughter I have my sister and my mom come and help me. My sister is 8 years younger than me and way cooler so the teen girls think shes' fun.

#3 Get them out early! I have the parents come no later than 10 am. I usually let one kid stay the rest of the day so my daughter has someone to play with. As they've gotten older I'm happy to let the kids stay longer. But the wild ones have to go home early!

#4 I have activities ready to go in case I need them (games, movies, etc.) if I don't need them no biggie, but I like to be prepared. Doing a craft in the morning after breakfast makes it easier as parents come to get their kids. The other ones are still occupied.

#5 Food - lots and lots of food. I usually set up a snack bar that they can munch on all night. I keep it carb heavy versus being sweets and then mix in some veggies and dip and raisins. Things like popcorn, chips, pretzels...anything I can fit with our theme. I leave out non-sugary drinks, little water bottles are awesome and nothing with caffeine is served at any time unless you are an adult! (for my sanity - I'm not pleasant without sleep!)

Lesson learned the hard way - make sure all computers in the area where the kids will be are password protected and the kids can't get on the internet. I had my child's computer on lock down, but didn't think to the same with my husband's laptop. The kids went on You Tube and found some "adult" movies one time. What a pleasure that was explaining to all the parents and boy did I learn a lesson about what can be put on You Tube and how you can't trust other people's kids. Eye opener for sure!

I hope your party is a success!!! Put down some air mattresses or sleeping bags all together and they'll be set to go.