Anyone have a fear of....

[uptowngirl]

FLYING??

I am just asking because I do and my butt is getting on a plane in two days and I cannot stop thinking about it. I have been dreaming about flying a lot too. I have been flying all my life and for some reason within the past 10 years I have developed a fear. The weeks/days leading up to it cause me so much anxiety and all I think about it my plane crashing! It is terrible, I know! Then during take-off I am pretty bad. BUT once in flight and if the turbulance is not bad then I am fine... and even during landing I am usually okay.

I was wondering if anyone else goes through this and what you do to calm down? I am hoping that maybe just talking about it will help me too. I know that flying is relatively safe... even safer than driving and I drive everyday! I almost always have to have a few (ALOT) of drinks in me when I fly. I have tried Xanax but that didn't do a thing. This will be my first time flying with my daughter who is 19 months so I can't very well be drunk! LOL. My hubby will be there too and he tries to help me by talking to me to get my mind off of it but that sometimes annoys me even more. He got me a few Valium from the doctor that his mom works for so I can take that but I don't know how that will affect me, etc. so not really sure about it.

Anyway... anything you can say would be helpful girls!! I would just love to be able to get on the plane and not so freaked! Thanks!!

[MandaBean]

Ha! Lordy..you have no idea how terrified I am of flying. I have never flown..never been on a plane..been to the airport, but that's as close as I have ever been to the outside/inside of one.

Problem is, my in-laws live in California..and we live in Georgia. SO, my ass has to get over this soon..by like..January of '09 as a matter of fact. We are going to CA for a visit and we are NOT driving this time, against my better judgement. My husband loves to fly and he is basically saying to me that if we don't fly..we don't see family in CA. BAD situation for me, but I have to deal.

My doctor has given me a script for Ativan..lowest dosage. She told me to help prepare myself by trying the meds before the trip. Well, I tried one..did nothing for me. Now, I'm pretty nervous to try more than one cause I don't wanna knock myself into a coma or something, but she said it would be safe to take more than one since they are .5mg pills. Not the entire bottle mind you, but starting off with 2 would be a step.

I've never taken anything else..well besides my regular low dosage of zoloft for anxiety, but that's like nothing really. My worst fear is being closed in and not being able to just walk out of someplace. It's not so much the crashing or the terrorists, although those things don't HELP people like me, but it's the not getting out for 4 hours. UGH! Ya..I hope someone chimes in with a miracle cure..cause I need one too.

Good luck to you..you are FAR braver than I am though..FAR braver! At least you've done it.

[pbumbaca]

I was never afraid to fly, flew at least once a year until 9/11 and then after that it took me two years to get on a plane again. I even gave up a free scrapping trip with friends to Utah because of that fear! But I decided I wouldn't let my fear get the best of me and keep me from seeing friends, going on vacation, etc and I got on a plane. The takeoffs are my worst but I try to keep my mind off of it and then its over in a minute and once we are up I'm good. I have a friend who takes a valium every time she flies and it does help her. Good luck!

[wildblueeyez]

flying is awesome! take this from someone who up until 3 years ago swore she'd NEVER - EVER get on a plane. Then my sister had surgery and wanted me there. I was nervous on my first flight until we were in the air and then I was amazed!! The take off isn't bad - just like riding in a really fast car. As you go into the air, lean your head back against the seat, close your eyes and chew your gum. I've flown multiple times since my first flight and have to say that I look for places to go now so I can fly again!!!

Good luck! I think it'll be a help that you'll be a little more focused on your daughter during your trip. I'm not sure I'd take the valiumthough , esp. if you've never taken it before. that in itself could make the trip worse for you than if you hadn't taken it. just my opinion as a nurse....

[joelsgirl]

Oh girl, I'm feelin ya...and I live on a freakin' island! So anytime I want to go anywhere, I have to get ona plane. It's terrible; I have to really psych myself up, take deep breaths and force myself to stay calm. I really feel a bit sick from the time we take off till the time we land.

I have a gift for imagining the worst possible scenario, but I like to think that makes me always prepared.

[uptowngirl]

wow!! knowing i am not alone actually has made me feel a little better... for the moment. lol. i was even almost too afraid to post this for looking like a freak or something. i dont' really like to talk about this fear b/c most people are like oh you will be fine and that is it and then i feel dumb or like a baby. but i actually woke up this morning thinking well this could be my last two days alive... how TERRIBLE is that?????? it just makes me feel ill that i feel that way b/c i am flying tomorrow. i am almost always happy go lucky and positive about things and i hate that i can have those thoughts.

the thing is i love to travel and have been to some great places and don't want to limit my life or not see family b/c of this. i also don't want to limit my daughter's life either. and i definitely don't want her to share in my fear!

thanks for the thoughts on the valium too... i don't feel right taking it really. not sure why i feel that way but i am pretty much like that with any med. i rarely take anything and if i do it is b/c i darn skippy need it! right now the plan is to get there early and grab some dinner and i wil try to get away with one glass of wine just to take the edge off.

[mummytothree]

ME... ME.... pick me...in fact my stomach is all in knots just reading this post about flying!!! I flew a lot when I was younger and in college and I didn't like it then but now I HATE...ever since I had kids. The thought of dying in a firey airplane crash just sends me into panic attacks...ok I gotta stop writing about it or I'm gonna never make it through the rest of the day!!


See I am a bigger freak then you....swear!!!

[ColleenSwerb]

I'm so sorry that you are all so afraid of flying! I don't know what I would do if I hated to fly. Probably cry. I LOVE flying.

The way I figure it, the odds are just as great of getting struck by lightening or hit by a car or randomly choking on a piece of food or sinking on a giant cruise liner as they are of flying. So might as well take my chances!

I don't know if this will help anyone, but when I fly, I always have a book to read, a bottle of water, my ipod on at all times (except when I HAVE to turn it off), and a book of puzzles (those jumbo books with all sorts of crazy games in them - I LOVE them!). Gives me something to do, but maybe it would take your minds off of the actual flying part?

[Stacey42]

I hate to fly and am flat out terrified when I am on a plane. I have valium, but valium doesn't do much for me. I've found a shot or 2 of tequilla, an audiobook and a crochet project keep me distracted. But sometimes it is 6am and the bar isn't open and sometimes they confiscate my hooks. And if the kids are with me I can't really listen to an audiobook.

Just having the kids with me though seems to help a lot, if I am alone. When it was just me and 3 & 4 year old, I was far more worried about getting them & all our stuff from one end of the airport to the other without losing them or the stuff to think about flying, then once we were on the plane I was too busy been stressed about them behaving themselves and not being that woman with those obnoxious kids on a plane, to worry about flying. However if DH is with me I let him think about those things and I go in search of a drink.

[Sarah8914]

I'm sorry!!! If it gives you any comfort, I have a few friends who have pilot husbands and they are less afraid of what could happen flying, than driving!

I love flying! LOVE it! Haven't been on a plane though for over 4 years now.

Good luck to you!

[InLoveWithDOTS]

I flew a lot into my early twenties but after Flt 800 crashed over Long Island, I decided I didnt want to sly again. Planes should not just drop out of the sky. I have flown 4 times since then (3 times because my mother was sick and dying in FL and once because I won a trip from Lisa Bearnson to scrap in Utah). I HATED IT! I balled my eyes out the entire time. The only part I actually LIKE is the landing because it means ZI am about to have my feet on the ground.

I would suggest talking to your dr to get a prescription that might help. That wasnt enough for me, but many people swear by it!

BTW, I am supposed to take a school trip to Disney in November but I actually got my dr to write me a note saying I must take the train because I simply wont fly.

[scarletsierra]

I used to fly quite often until I graduated from college and when I was a kid I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Now, like you I've become more and more apprehensive about flying. I don't know what it is..it's like my mind get's worked up into a tizzy in anticipation. Anyway, I can't say that I have that piercing fear, but I really, really, REALLY don't like it. I remember seeing your fear layout about this, Kris, and thinking "that's exactly what I look like when we're about to take off".

Earlier this year we had to fly to attend to family issues and we had to take bugga and I was dreading it beyond belief. Truthfully, my concerns about everything going smoothly for *her* helped me get a grip on my own horses a bit.

I'll be thinking of you and hoping the trip is bearable!

[FireWolf]

I flew a lot as a child and teenager but then I hadn't flown for about 10 years until 2001 and that was a 12 hour flight a mere 16 days after 9/11 and I was indeed a little worried. But truthfully it was great other than the major security changes and idiot airline personnel. (nothing like having all your bras and panties in plain view of thousands of people to take your mind off the actual flight and having a confirmed reservation for your dog only to be told at check in that they don't take dogs )

Like a previous poster said, just lean your head back against the seat, close your eyes, chew your gum and try thinking about something really happy and it should pass quickly.

[my3hens]

Oh hugs honey!! You have got some fab advice here, I just wanted to offer some big hugs!!!

[LeeAndra]

Meredith Fenwick is/was afraid of flying and had posted abt the med(s) she took when she had to fly on her blog. I don't think there are many posts to her blog, so you might want to go through the archives and see if you can find that post. *lol* Of course, it might be easier for you to email her if you feel comfortable doing that.

Sorry, I can't help with the actual fear. I really enjoy flying and wish I got to go more often. The part that annoys me is all the new rules abt what you can wear, what you can eat, what you can bring, etc. That stupid 2 fluid ounces in your carry on rule really chaps my hide, for instance.

[lizzyfizzy]

i am so sorry that you have this problem...so many do. as for me, i love it! when i was a child my dad had his pilots license and a private plane so i grew up with a love for flying! what can we do to help you with this fear? hypnosis? anything...lemme know. =)

[uptowngirl]

i have thought about hypnosis before... i wonder if that really works?? i mean there was a time i did enjoy it and did it all the time when i was in college. i used to fly home for the weekend, from Az to home which was NJ!! i did that probably once a month b/c my dad worked for the airlines. i have even been on a 4 person plane that belonged to a friend of my dad's and we flew on the coast of NJ and around over Manhattan. i cannot pinpoint when i developed this fear, tbh. i have thought about it, like what did i hear or see that started it. b/c it started before 9/11 so it wasn't that. so i am not really sure why and i can't even remember when. i came home from school in 1998 so shortly after that i believe.

anywho... i do really appreciate everyone sharing their feelings and giving me advice and trying to pump me up for it! i go from being ok with it to moments of anxiety where i have to talk myself into calming down.

we leave tomorrow at 7:30... so i am just going to go with it and deal with my fears and hope that i can just enjoy it and be happy i am going on vacation!

[my4boys]

I too love to fly so I cannot really help you here......I am sorry you are going through this difficult time and hope you find some relief and soon. I agree with the closing of the eyes and chewing the gum thing though. I also love the 2 shots of Tequila....love it!!!!!! Good Luck girl {{{hugs}}}

[uptowngirl]

So, I just spent the last hour or so on this site, http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/. It is written by a pilot and I have to say SO WORTH THE READ!! It starts off by discussing fears and anxiety and then goes into regulations and the people who fly planes and take care of them and work on them. Then he goes into how planes fly and weather conditions and turbulance. There is more too plus a lot of great video clips. I highly recommend reading this if you share in my fear. For the 1st time in a while I feel less anxious... even when thinking about it sitting here and wacthing the videos I had this calm feeling. I can't say I am "cured" but I feel better than I have about this in a while. Great for those who have never flown either so you can "experience" flying befoer you do it.

I hope some of you will visit this site and take the time to read.